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Maggie’s Why not to take the wife...

Duc

Sergeant
Supporter
Full Member
Minuteman
Oct 16, 2007
1,310
3,475
NE. Illinios
It was Saturday morning as Jake, an avid hunter, woke up raring
to go bag the first deer of the season. He walks down to the
kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his surprise he finds his wife,
Alice, sitting there,
fully dressed in camouflage.

Jake asks her, "What are you up to?"

Alice smiles, "I'm going hunting with you!"

Jake, though he had many reservations about this, reluctantly
decides to take her along.

Three hours later they arrive at a game preserve just outside
of San Marcos , Texas .

Jake sets his lovely wife safely up in the tree stand and tells
her,"If you see a deer, take careful aim on it and I'll come
running back as soon as I hear the shot."

Jake walks away with a smile on his face knowing that Alice
couldn't bag an elephant - much less a deer.

Not 10 minutes pass when he is startled as he hears an array
of gunshots. Quickly, Jake starts running back. As Jake gets
closer to her stand, he hears Alice screaming, "Get the hell
away from my deer!"

Confused and frightened, Jake races faster towards his
screaming wife. And again he hears her yell, "Get the hell
away from my deer!" followed by another volley of gunfire!

Now within sight of where he had left his wife, Jake is
surprised to see a Texas game warden with his hands high
in the air.

The game warden, obviously distraught, yelled, "Okay, lady!
You can have your deer! Just let me get my saddle off it!"
 
Re: Why not to take the wife...

Yikes!!
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That's good stuff right there!

Like Henny Youngman used to say: "I take my wife everywhere...but she keeps finding her way back!"
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Re: Why not to take the wife...

Who was the football coach who said he took his wife to all the away games cause she was too damned ugly to kiss goodby?

Bob
 
Re: Why not to take the wife...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: alreadygone</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Who was the football coach who said he took his wife to all the away games cause she was too damned ugly to kiss goodby?

Bob </div></div>

Andrew "Bum" Phillips...when Bob Costas asked him why he took his wife on all of the Houston Oilers' road trips, Bum said "because she's too ugly to kiss goodbye."
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Re: Why not to take the wife...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Patrick Bailey</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Good One! </div></div>

Wow! 35 posts today and you've already got your scope up for sale. Whoda thunk it?
 
Re: Why not to take the wife...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: MNS</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Wasn't expecting that when I clicked the title</div></div>

Me either. That was good