Re: You dialed 911 for this.......WTF?!?!?!
I've posted this here a few times in the past. Maybe it will make a few of you chuckle a little anyway.
Victor
Ambulance call…
In 1989 when I was taking the first of my EMT classes at the local community college I had to do “X” number of clinical work sessions. (I seem to remember something like 2, 8 hour shifts per month ) I remember one shift was at one of the local hospitals where a lot of surgeries were scheduled. My job for that day was to start the appropriate IV and secure the site on each patient. 99% of them as I recall got a single line, IV of Lactated Ringers. Under a nurse’s supervision, I think I started 50 or 60 IVs that day.
At other times I was assigned to “ride along” with a certain EMS units of Rural Metro in the greater Knoxville area. The first part of this particular shift was all down time. I amused myself by reading some of their run reports. I swear the following was a legitimate report, incident number, date and time stamped and everything. One of the paramedics that I was partnered with on this crew was on the crew that made the run mentioned here.
Christmas Eve a call came in that Doctor “X” had evidently had a heart attack and was unconscious on the living room floor.
Freeze frame and let me go back in time a few hours to a different narrative sheet that was attached to this report.
The good doctor and wife a few weeks ago had bought a live Christmas tree with the burlap wrapped root ball. They had been out at Christmas parties quiet heavily the past 2 days. At the last party that night, the good doctor had consumed at least his share of “party beverages” and had thrown up on himself. As they got home he decided he needed to shower before going to bed. As he prepared to get into the shower, his wife decided she needed to check the moisture content on the “root ball” of the Christmas tree. Having the tree inside the house for several days it had started to shed a few of its needles. As she loosened the burlap the bottom of the tree was wrapped in, a black snake came out and went under the sofa. She immediately screamed and went to get her inebriated husband who had finished undressing and was standing in his “all together” fixing to step into the tub. She came in all excited and demanded that right this minute he go down and remove the snake from the sofa. OK… he thought she was just playing a trick on him. When he got to the living room he saw the end of the snake as it moved under the sofa. With a flashlight and on his hands and knees looking under the sofa, the family German Sheppard, Gretchen, made her entrance. With the doctor more drunk than sober and on his hands and knees, she did what all dogs do when offered this opportunity. She walked up and stuck her cold wet nose to the doctor’s butt. His wife said he immediately passed out. She thought he was having a heart attack.
Now back to the time of the actual 911 call.
The call came in later evening time that there was a 40s male possible heart attack. The EMS crew rolls up on the scene running emergency traffic. Because of where the doctor and family live they have to climb about 3 short flights of stairs, for some reason 20 to 30 comes to mind. They carried an airway kit (with portable O2 tank), standard jump bag, and monitor strapped to the stretcher.
Upon their arrival they found the doctor still with a lower level of consciousness (possibly alcohol induced) and his wife was telling EVERYTHING that had happened in the last hour or so. They decided to transport the good doctor just in case and proceeded to get him strapped onto the stretcher and covered against the evening chill. Of the 3 straps on the stretcher it is pretty customary in our area to place the patient’s arms under the middle strap. But he insisted he wanted his arms out. As they were making their way out of the residence the snaked came out of the sofa and started for the door. Gretchen, being the wonderful family pet she was charged out of the door UNDER THE STRETCHER after the snake. The first paramedic was already outside the door on the front porch. As the dog hit the stretcher, the stretcher (with the doctor and his arms reaching for …something), dog, one of the paramedics and the snake went tumbling ass over elbows off the porch and down the steps.
It ended up they treated the doctor and one paramedic for various cuts and abrasions, splinted one of the doctor’s forearms for a possible fracture and transported him to the hospital closest to his location to get checked out and released.
I saw copies of this report with the doctor and crew information blacked out. But everyone in the area knew who the doctor with his arm in a cast was.
I think I’ve covered at least MOST of the comical occurrences of that particular evening. Or at least as well as my Swiss cheese memory lets me recall.
Merry Christmas everyone…!!!
