You're best opening line.

[MinistryOfTruth]

"Ma'am...do you ever wonder what they mean when they say 'lickity split'?"

 

[10ring'r]

For me, a simple one liner. "You want to F, or what?"
Worked 90+% of the time. Just ask my wife of 30+ years. First words I spoke to her.
And we've been together ever since. Mac

 

[Im2bent]

"How much?

 

[carbonbased]

For me, a simple one liner. "You want to F, or what?"
Worked 90+% of the time. Just ask my wife of 30+ years. First words I spoke to her.
And we've been together ever since. Mac

Jeez hahahahaha!

I mean, I guess if it works, it works?

I’m going to take an even more extreme shortcut:

​

A) ​

​

B) ​

​

Lock eyes with chick. Point at dick (mine, hopefully lol).​

​

I’m sure it’ll work.

 

[Ronws]

Aren't you tired? You have been running in my dreams all night.

 

[Ronws]

No, that is not a roll of quarters in my pocket. I am, indeed, happy to see you.

 

[Alphatreedog]

When a girl says " what do you have on " when commenting on your cologne . Man your good . I gotta hard on .

Ask her if she knows about real estate . Show her yer dick an ask , is that a lot or what .

Wanna make muh dick sticky ?

Point to the next hottest girl in the room and say that's my psycho ex . Quick you gotta save me . Kiss me quick .

 

[Pharmseller]

Point to the next hottest girl in the room and say that's my psycho ex . Quick you gotta save me . Kiss me quick .

Years ago I went to a friend‘s wedding instead of deer hunting. Who gets married on opening day?

Anyway, to say thank you he pointed me out to a good (not great) looking bridesmaid and told her to stay away from me, I was bad news.

Like catnip. He told me what he’d done a month later. Genius.




P

 

[cas6969]

I mean, I guess if it works, it works?

I used to work with a guy who thought himself quite the ladies man. And yes, he was successful, totals wise, but not percentage wise. His type was "female with a pulse". Other people would ask me about him, they didn't understand how he was so successful with the women. Id say "When you swing at ever single pitch, you'll get a lot of hits." And he swang at every pitch.

 

[Father O’blivion]

Excuse me, does this teddy bear smell like chloroform to you?

 

[buffalowinter]

My Card

 

[Maggot]

Excuse me, does this teddy bear smell like chloroform to you?

Winner winner, Chicken dinner.

I'll laugh for days on that one.

 

[Jscb1b]

Shut up bitch, I got a knife!

 

[n2ishun]

Bah, buncha losers.
You boys need to have GAME to play.

Like this
Ahem....

 

[SouthFork]

My buddies actual tinder profile. It’s worked out for him. Already gave him shit about the hair but it plays for the women.

 

[Ronws]

This moustache leaves in five minutes. Be on it.

 

[acudaowner]

this relationship may cost me my life but you'll never touch my freedom .

or

Badges? We ain't got no badges! We don't need no badges! I don't have to show you any stinking badges!"​

 

[Ronws]

Howdy. My hands are large and my shoes are 14 W (true personal fact.) Care to find out if the "wisdom" is true?

 

[JIMB3AM]

I’ll have another……please!


Glass of whiskey of course

 

[Tokay444]

Your*

 

[kenny1773]

hey baby girl I gots food stamp money

 

[Bullfrog08]

What can I get fo' $10?

 

[david walter]

You're Your best opening line

"Yo, sweetness! I'll have some of that!"

 

[Maggot]

What can I get fo' $10?

Tin dolla dont even get you a snif, Yo.

 

[Im2bent]

Tin dolla dont even get you a snif, Yo.

 

[JIMB3AM]

Girl, you gonna let me knock the stuffin off that egg McMuffin ?!?!