• Watch Out for Scammers!

    We've now added a color code for all accounts. Orange accounts are new members, Blue are full members, and Green are Supporters. If you get a message about a sale from an orange account, make sure you pay attention before sending any money!

Im joining the military

Yo...

Yo...

YO... This HAS to be a copypasta, right? Or like one of these celebrity/world leaders soundboard phone pranks?

anim_lol.gif


This brings back to mind the real early days of ARF and Glocktalk before September 11, 2001 when all was almost good in the world and everybody just want to clown around and have a good time...
 
  • Like
Reactions: Bender
Oh. My. Lord.




I don't even know where to begin...
They skeer’d off the poor kid. The next BUD/S class will be lost without him.

Somewhere on a beach near Coronado, a log weeps silently, knowing it will never be picked up by the OP…

And, worse The thread got killed in just 3 pages…. Making it Ineligible for full legendary thread status.

He’es dead, Jim.

Sirhr
 
OP is saying to himself…”Damn I’m getting dizzy trying to keep these SH guys off of me.”

1651512506734.gif
 
Last edited:
Particularly special forces. I dont know what MOS i want to be but im definitely joining the special forces branch. When I talked to the recruiter he said that I have good qualifications and might even get to skip the preliminary training and go straight to BUD/S.

I was a little worried about sniper school because Idk what kind of optics we are going to be using but I read on quora that a dude in the army said his boy let them put his own personal scope on his rifle so I might get my girl to mail my elcan to me so I can use it on my issued precision rifle when I get there. Hopefully shell be able to send it to me, but she is 6 months pregnant right now and Im supposed to ship out to Paris Island in a week. Idk what ill do if she cant but im sure ill figure it out.

Im super excited about it because hopefully I can come out on full retirement in 4 years. I went with some of my friends that all came to the recruitment office and we got Semper Fi tattoos. My dude thats deployed right now plays ghost recon with me sometimes and he says his post is super lax but his CO is kind of an asshole. He told me about all the people hes killed over in sandland and that shit sounds awesome.

I was hoping you guys could give me some advice before i roll out?
HOO RAH
Put down the crack pipe.
 
They skeer’d Skeer't off the poor kid. The next BUD/S class will be lost without him.

Somewhere on a beach near Coronado, a log weeps silently, knowing it will never be picked up by the OP…

And, worse The thread got killed in just 3 pages…. Making it Ineligible for full legendary thread status.

He’es dead, Jim.

Sirhr
If'n ya'll gonna speek rednek, do it raght.
 
@HKslave Here's a little info about your expedited red carpet ride,
In case the recruiter left out some pertinent information.



I call bullshit on the linked article. No metion of bench press max or working concrete.
 
Y’all may as well go outside and comment at nothing, you’re too late it’s over. I feel like I keep saying that but once again..

He left, and you dummies let him win by keeping it going. He played you.
 
@HKslave Here's a little info about your expedited red carpet ride,
In case the recruiter left out some pertinent information.

Why do all feats have to be performed under 2:00 minutes when wars last 20 years, shouldn't they be training to pace oneself over the long haul. So as a civilian you can try out as a walk on ?
 
  • Haha
Reactions: Cowpokey
If OP was serious about joining special forces, USAF Para Rescue is the only way to go. Let me explain:

1) Smartestest branch in the military; we send our officers in to do the fighting.
2) Para Rescue are the baddest of badasses; they are the ones that go in and rescue special forces.

OP may have figured that out, and left for deployment already...since he clearly is over qualified for any training.
 
Y’all may as well go outside and comment at nothing, you’re too late it’s over. I feel like I keep saying that but once again..

He left, and you dummies let him win by keeping it going. He played you.
i figured it was a joke anyway, right from the start.
 
Particularly special forces. I dont know what MOS i want to be but im definitely joining the special forces branch. When I talked to the recruiter he said that I have good qualifications and might even get to skip the preliminary training and go straight to BUD/S.

I was a little worried about sniper school because Idk what kind of optics we are going to be using but I read on quora that a dude in the army said his boy let them put his own personal scope on his rifle so I might get my girl to mail my elcan to me so I can use it on my issued precision rifle when I get there. Hopefully shell be able to send it to me, but she is 6 months pregnant right now and Im supposed to ship out to Paris Island in a week. Idk what ill do if she cant but im sure ill figure it out.

Im super excited about it because hopefully I can come out on full retirement in 4 years. I went with some of my friends that all came to the recruitment office and we got Semper Fi tattoos. My dude thats deployed right now plays ghost recon with me sometimes and he says his post is super lax but his CO is kind of an asshole. He told me about all the people hes killed over in sandland and that shit sounds awesome.

I was hoping you guys could give me some advice before i roll out?
HOO RAH
So, everyone needs to go through basic training. Period, end of story. I assume you were talking to a Navy recruiter, because BUDS. Navy doesn't have Special Forces, that's Army more commonly known as "Green Berets". Navy Special operations groups are collectively known as Naval Special Warfare (NSW).

Don't even begin to concern yourself with optics or rifles or what weaponry. Go run 2-3 miles at a 8:45 pace, then go swim 1600m, then run a mile to coll off, do sets of 25-50 flutter kicks (4 count) with hard rubber "jet" fins,

Do all the push ups, air squats, and every other bodyweight calisthenics you can google. Do all the reps, forever.

work on your breath holding, underwater swimming (25m at a time, on one breath), have a friend be there when you do your underwear swims in case you pass out down there, it sucks, but is a euphoric feeling.. hmm.. what else. Treading water with no hands for 2 minutes straight, Google "drownproofing" have fun....

Additionally..... work on tying knots under water (reverse bowline, square knot, girth hitch with extra turn)...

Yeah. There ya go. That's a start.
 
They definitely need all the woke help they can get. Ever since they purged the military of all independent thinking patriots.. They now allow transgenders and those with gender dysmorphia (whatever mental illness that is) to serve though.
 
Particularly special forces. I dont know what MOS i want to be but im definitely joining the special forces branch. When I talked to the recruiter he said that I have good qualifications and might even get to skip the preliminary training and go straight to BUD/S.

I was a little worried about sniper school because Idk what kind of optics we are going to be using but I read on quora that a dude in the army said his boy let them put his own personal scope on his rifle so I might get my girl to mail my elcan to me so I can use it on my issued precision rifle when I get there. Hopefully shell be able to send it to me, but she is 6 months pregnant right now and Im supposed to ship out to Paris Island in a week. Idk what ill do if she cant but im sure ill figure it out.

Im super excited about it because hopefully I can come out on full retirement in 4 years. I went with some of my friends that all came to the recruitment office and we got Semper Fi tattoos. My dude thats deployed right now plays ghost recon with me sometimes and he says his post is super lax but his CO is kind of an asshole. He told me about all the people hes killed over in sandland and that shit sounds awesome.

I was hoping you guys could give me some advice before i roll out?
HOO RAH
C94CDDD1-2DB6-4619-92B2-E47FE72E1071.gif
 
If your dad has a Savage Axis he used as a sniper for the Post Office in the 70's, they might let let you use that.
 
The op is currently chaperoning a group of young Eagle Scouts. Participation badge pending.
 
  • Haha
Reactions: JR_77
I love the related threads footer. Any bets on whether OP has died of crayon poisoning yet?
 
Me too! I'm waiting to here back re my diabeetus. The recruiter said it usually is not a problem. I told home I can't feel my toes and I sometimes get sores on em and don't know. Recruiter says no worries - just ask my buddies to check them. ( Hard for me to see that far, and I can't bend down far enough to get close and see) I am worried about training though - I have knee issues, and it's even difficult to get up and down on the toilet to pee. Recruiter asked about girlfriends/and or spouses. No worries, I told her (the recruiter) that I had not been able to have an erection for a long time so no worries of ever getting tied up with women (or men, not that there's anything wrong with that. )
 
  • Wow
Reactions: Marinevet1