Maggie’s Funny & awesome pics, vids and memes thread (work safe, no nudity)
- Thread starter Lawless
- Start date
I can’t not say something. I’ve been a mechanic for over 20yrs and this pic needs some serious critiquing.
Why the fuck are you wearing crocs? What the fuck is wrong with you?
Would have been happier if they had curb stomped his brains out… just ‘sayin…
Sirhr
It sounds like that fat-assed bitch wants to commit genocide. Let her try.
The man at the bar, deep in private thoughts of his own, turned to a woman just passing and said, "Pardon me miss, do you happen to have the time?"
In a strident voice, she responded, "How dare you make such a proposition to me!"
The man snapped to attention in surprise and was uncomfortably aware that every pair of eyes in the place had turned to his direction. He mumbled, "I just asked for the time, miss."
In an even louder voice, the woman shrieked, "I WILL CALL THE POLICE IF YOU SAY ANOTHER WORD!"
Grabbing his drink and embarrassed very nearly to death, the man hastened to the far end of the room and huddled at a table, holding his breath and wondering how soon he could sneak out the door.
Not more than half a minute later, the woman joined him. In a quiet voice, she said, "I'm terribly sorry to have embarrassed you, but I am a psychologist and I am studying the reaction of human beings to shocking statements."
The man stared at her for five seconds, then he leaned back and bellowed, "YOU'D DO ALL THAT FOR ME ALL NIGHT LONG FOR JUST TWO DOLLARS? WHAT'S THAT?..... AND YOU'D DO IT TO EVERY GUY IN THIS BAR FOR ANOTHER TEN DOLLARS?!?!"
In a strident voice, she responded, "How dare you make such a proposition to me!"
The man snapped to attention in surprise and was uncomfortably aware that every pair of eyes in the place had turned to his direction. He mumbled, "I just asked for the time, miss."
In an even louder voice, the woman shrieked, "I WILL CALL THE POLICE IF YOU SAY ANOTHER WORD!"
Grabbing his drink and embarrassed very nearly to death, the man hastened to the far end of the room and huddled at a table, holding his breath and wondering how soon he could sneak out the door.
Not more than half a minute later, the woman joined him. In a quiet voice, she said, "I'm terribly sorry to have embarrassed you, but I am a psychologist and I am studying the reaction of human beings to shocking statements."
The man stared at her for five seconds, then he leaned back and bellowed, "YOU'D DO ALL THAT FOR ME ALL NIGHT LONG FOR JUST TWO DOLLARS? WHAT'S THAT?..... AND YOU'D DO IT TO EVERY GUY IN THIS BAR FOR ANOTHER TEN DOLLARS?!?!"
RIP...
Kirstie Alley dead at 71
"Cheers" star Kirstie Alley died on Monday after a battle with cancer that was only "recently discovered," her family said. The Emmy Award-winning actress was 71.www.foxnews.com
I read it was colon cancer, really that one is so easy to stop. Yesterday I was at the doc getting scheduled to have the camera stuck up my wazzu.
There is nothing to it and good chance it will save your life. Last time was 3 years ago and they found some things they did not like so I am on a 3 year schedule. If this time goes like last I will be out of the place in an hour, hitting up the all you can eat buffet, then out in the yard by the afternoon. It is nothing, if you are over 50 just do it.
For some reason it seems women are very against it, it was like pulling teeth to get the wife to "poop in the box". Nothing there (funny) and in five years she poops in a box again.
Just do it, it is a non event. Worst part was getting the IV, that should tell you how much of a non event it is.
I'd rather undergo a dozen IVs than have to drink Satan's nectar.
Worst part of the whole procedure is the "prep" for the procedure.
And that is not that bad. I thought it would be like bad food poisoning but nope. Just have the bathroom close and baby wipes are your friend.Worst part of the whole procedure is the "prep" for the procedure.
Elmo Dies Of Myocarditis After Receiving COVID Vaccine
babylonbee.com
Elmo Dies Of Myocarditis After Receiving COVID Vaccine
SESAME STREET - Reports have confirmed that beloved Sesame Street resident Elmo died unexpectedly this morning just a few hours after receiving the COVID vaccine.
babylonbee.com
Attachments
Skip the poop in a box and just get the butt cam. Prior to my last colonoscopy my gastro ordered the poop box for me and just threw it in the trash. So on my next annual he scheduled a colonoscopy and low and behold he found a small benign polyp. Following the procedure he commented Cologuard would not have detected it and glad he did the procedure. Due to family history (not cancer) I have had 5 colonscopy's since my early 40's with the prep being less of a PITA each time. Known several people who have passed away from colon cancer and its awful. If your 45+ just get it done and it may save your life.
I have now officially joined the grandpa club and am stoked to be part of it. All you old bastards seem to have so much fun with it. I was fortunate to be travelling TDY and just happened to be an hour away from my daughter's location. Plus she wasn't due until the 14th, but some complications forced an early inducement and I just happened to be nearby. Mother is doing fine and the baby is healthy so I can't ask for anything more. I think my daughter thought I was joking when I asked if I should buy her her first gun at 5 or 6 years old.
Attachments
Last edited:
Lots of peeps sentenced to death during COVID because colonoscopies were not necessary when they had to make dance videos in the hospitals.
Who does like a fire hose if hot water pouring out their ass?Worst part of the whole procedure is the "prep" for the procedure.
My wife's ex-husband sent me Christmas cards every year that said the same thing.....
"Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me".
My wife never saw the humor in it. LOL
Since we're talking about colonoscopies, here is some comedy.
Also if you like this colonoscopy talk you should go and check out the Poop thread started by @powdahound76. It's pretty good.
Also if you like this colonoscopy talk you should go and check out the Poop thread started by @powdahound76. It's pretty good.
The wife did the poop in the box and it came back nothing wrong. So by doing it you could save yourself the trip. Me I only did it the first time and now I am just on a schedule. They said this time if they see the same thing they will likely put me on a one year rotation.
Last time they did the gatoraid deal, this time it is a specific med I am to take.
People are just so stupid, we actually had issues with people about cows having sex. Guess what you buy your little subdivision house "out in the country" and it just happens to back up next to a working farm you are going to see things you might have to explain to your 3yr old.
Not just that, but other "elective" procedures. One of the things that really ticks me off.
Funny story the doc was talking to me yesterday telling me all that was going to happen, eat not eat that kind of thing. And I noticed his watch. I am a "watch guy" so I will notice watches. It was one of those "computer" watches, but the band had in the script. We the people.
As he was leaving and the kid was coming in to do my EKG I said I like your watch band....he said oh thanks, he said you never know how people are going to take it.
That was just sad
East to stop? I don't think so. I developed a very aggressive, fast growing colon cancer 18 months after a colonsocopy. Doc found it when he did surgery for diverticulitis. Thought he got it all but it returned just a few months and wiped out my bladder. Lot's of folks on a three year colonoscopy schedule die from stage 4 colon cancer every year.
Gee thanks for the good news. I was under the impression that doing this would make it clear to the next scan, I had no idea it moved that fast, not sure why I did not think it moved fast, I know other cancers can be insane.
Was there any signs something was not working like it should, pain....anything.
Sorry I hit a bad nerve, I really did not know. It is such a "personal" area and people are so shy to talk about this one form of cancer because of where it is. I really think it is something more people should be aware of.
Was that a chocolate bar is was pouring over? If you click on the word "watch" where the video should be, it will open in another window and you can watch it, for some reason the format (maybe?) it's in can't be shared across platforms or something.
Crap....sorry for posts, it was worth a try, it was on Facebook (I don’t do Facebook), maybe search
”when you have a bad day” starts showing coffee cup.
”when you have a bad day” starts showing coffee cup.
Could yall stop it with the colon cancer shit.
Buncha morbid motherfuckers.
Everyone knows butt cancer is caused by buttsex.
If I was some of yall I'd get a colonoscopy too.
Now let's get back to funny shit.
Buncha morbid motherfuckers.
Everyone knows butt cancer is caused by buttsex.
If I was some of yall I'd get a colonoscopy too.
Now let's get back to funny shit.
Guy isn’t a friend but he’s right on homo stuff and Muslims
