Maggie’s Funny & awesome pics, vids and memes thread (work safe, no nudity)
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dad to daughter,My sister literally stabbed me in the chest, thinking I wouldn't hit her. Got knocked the fuck out. But I did get stabbed...because like women mistakenly thinking we won't hit them in the mouth, my ignorant young ass thought that a woman wouldn't stab me for no good reason.
Why did she stab me? I changed the radio station she was dancing around the house to.
dad - why did you stab him?
Daughter - because he said he didn't think I'd do it. And HE HIT me.
Dad - but, he said, he'd HIT you if you stabbed him.
Daughter - yea, but I didn't think he'd do it.
In Jr high I had a chick who wanted to fight me and was trying this shit in the lunch line. Unknown to her. My sister was working her way up the line . Till she was standing in line right behind Becky. So, this girl Becky was calling me a coward and poking my shoulder . Trying to get me to fight her. I had no doubt that becky would lose a fight with me .I had zero worries about the outcome of a fight with her. Other than, I would be that guy. Who beat up a chick.
My sister taps Becky on the shoulder and says , My brother won't fight you. But. I will bitch!
Becky turns and looks at my sister with fear and says . He's your brother? I'm sorry . I didn't know.
My sister tells her if you mess with him again. I will kick your ass. Now get the hell out of here.
I was laughing my ass off and Becky never said a single word to me again. For two more years of Jr high school.
None of my sisters or my brother was afraid to fight. If we had to.
I finally figured out what the rack is for.......brass soon to be dry.....
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Just so you are aware that I will do whatever it is that I have to do!
Nothing slows this train down.
Nothing slows the "1970 DODGE POWER WAGON RESTORATION TRAIN".
This train will roll 24-7-365
(Except for lack of money and the available parts but more so no money that anything else)
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Oh, you’re going straight to hell for that one. Not a worse sin since David hit up on Bathsheba, displaying or having or using or anything with the CSA Battle Flag. We’ll be seein ya, wouldn’t want to be ya.
Lots of movie and tv quotes in this post, but at least the second sentence is original
Looks like a 1979 Lynyrd Skynyrd concert. It was okay back then.Oh, you’re going straight to hell for that one. Not a worse sin since David hit up on Bathsheba, displaying or having or using or anything with the CSA Battle Flag. We’ll be seein ya, wouldn’t want to be ya.
Lots of movie and tv quotes in this post, but at least the second sentence is original
It does! When I shake hands I have to make a conscious effort to keep my trigger finger with the rest of my fingers.
A group of crows is called a "murder"...there are only two crows, that doesn't constitute a "group"...thus "attempted murder".
Jokes aren't funny when they have to be explained...reprimand yourself.
Bad me, bad, bad me...
How's that?
FWIW, I'm familiar with the term murder of crows, but for some reason I always reckoned that was what took place when you caught them stealing your pecans or pecking your watermelons.
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I like that idea, being able to slide it around. You know how hard they are on the ground.
A few years ago mine burned down a brand new "house", really nice. I said to hell with it after that, but I think in spring I am going to do it again.
The whole video. FAFO!
Just like we spoke about with women. Guy has never been punched because “protected status” and he found out that tuff talk on Twitter does not equate to the real world.
I have moved it some and it isn’t bad at all but I pull it at an upward angle with the tractor. If I had a beautiful fescue lawn I wouldn’t drag it. I am thinking I will put some 5/4 deck board on the bottom as a wear item, just on the 2 side skids. I added corner braces of 4x4 mounted with ten inch 1/2” lag bolts which should keep it from getting loose from moving. The bottom is also lagged together.
My sister is a chicken hoarder and has like 40 birds right now so she is setting me up with some good layers.
