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Maggie’s Socially UNacceptable Humor

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A PFC and a 2nd Lieutenant are both in the head taking a leak and the PFC finishes first. Buttons up his pants and heads for the door. 2nd Lieutenant stops him and says "in OCS we were taught that gentlemen wash their hands after using the restroom". The PFC looks at him and says "well sir, in Boot Camp they teach us not to piss on ourselves"
 
You do realize that the Marines are Department of the Navy right? The Men's Department, that is.
Yes I do.
But those that can't make it to the Navy they are found in the Marines and it's just a saying like "Anchor clanker", "Jarhead", Wingnut and on and on
 
A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and
pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very,
very, closely:
"Are - my - test - results - back?"
 
Mexican lady was getting on a Greyhound bus carrying a live chicken.
Bus driver say hey lady you can't get on the bus with a live chicken.
She violently swings tge chicken around in a circle, then takes ger seat.
 
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