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Maggie’s Socially UNacceptable Humor

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I told you to stay off my parents Facebook page
So.... should I unfriend your mother-aunt-cousin? Your uncle-dad-brother? Or both of them?

They say an Arkansas virgin is a girl who runs faster than her brothers....

And you know how a Maine girl turns on the light after sex? Opens the truck door.

Sirhr
 
Dang y’all are on a roll tonight. I was worried a few posts ago. Piss Dirty D off, and no telling what you won’t be able to unsee. I’m all out of eye bleach with this BS going on, so y’all help keep me seeing clearly here!
 
A woman was in a coma and she had been for months.
Nurses were in her room giving her a sponge bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor when she touched her. They tried it again and sure enough there was a small, recognizable movement.

They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him "Crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma". The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that with the curtains closed for privacy, and his co-operation it might just work.

He finally agreed and went into his wife's room. A few minutes passed and then the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heartbeat, alarms ringing, the nurses burst into the room.

"What happened?" they cried. The husband said "I'm not sure, maybe she choked".
 
A woman was in a coma and she had been for months.
Nurses were in her room giving her a sponge bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor when she touched her. They tried it again and sure enough there was a small, recognizable movement.

They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him "Crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma". The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that with the curtains closed for privacy, and his co-operation it might just work.

He finally agreed and went into his wife's room. A few minutes passed and then the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heartbeat, alarms ringing, the nurses burst into the room.

"What happened?" they cried. The husband said "I'm not sure, maybe she choked".


Brought tears to me eyes, ya dirty Cull. :ROFLMAO::LOL: Great Humor AND Great Timing !!! (y);)
 
Two guys were going to work and were walking to the bus stop, when they came upon a dog at the corner licking his dick and the one looked at the other and said "Don't you wish you could do that?" his friend answered "Yes, but I think he'd bite".

What does pussy taste like in an old folks home? DEPENDS
 
It's early where you are, isn't it.

That was the original joke. The devil is paying for the lesson

Never knew that, I have said for years (not on this forum, I am pretty new but on the one other I visit) on what an evil flying c-word (not sure the level of words allowed here...but with boobies I would figure it is pretty much good) she is.

I start but always end up with the delete key pressed for about a minute....even at 54 and her being dead 10+ years now it is still too painful....too many emotions, and anger is usually in there somewhere.
 
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I shouldn't but..... Know what they call a Marine? ---- Navy reject!!