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The NRA Has a Medal for Me!

The King

Back to the Range
Banned !
Minuteman
  • Sep 17, 2004
    2,935
    4,932
    Florence, CO
    1619572579096.png


    This is the most monumental event in my life. Better than the birth of my kids or finally being old enough to drop out of High School.

    Wayne reached out to me personally, and said that I could be his friend! And he would give me a Medal. And a Certificate!

    My National Mall Security Officers Excellence medal was the previous highlight of my civilian fruit salad that I wear everywhere I go, proudly displaying all 6 of my lifetime achievements on my breast. Got that for successfully beating up a kid who was making a mess at Chunkee Cheezis.

    Thank god for 4XL uniform shirts - I was running out of room!

    I think I’ll put that Medal of Freedom right next to my Colonels rank tab in the Mall Officers Unarmed Forces, and slide that certificate in with the rest of my vital paperwork I carry around in a briefcase - right next to my Concealed Carry Badge. I’m gonna be a Golden Eagle!!!

    If Wayne let’s me hang out with him enough, I might even get laid for the first time.

    Anyone have $250 I can borrow?

    The King,
    Colonel, MOUF
     
    View attachment 7613649

    This is the most monumental event in my life. Better than the birth of my kids or finally being old enough to drop out of High School.

    Wayne reached out to me personally, and said that I could be his friend! And he would give me a Medal. And a Certificate!

    My National Mall Security Officers Excellence medal was the previous highlight of my civilian fruit salad that I wear everywhere I go, proudly displaying all 6 of my lifetime achievements on my breast. Got that for successfully beating up a kid who was making a mess at Chunkee Cheezis.

    Thank god for 4XL uniform shirts - I was running out of room!

    I think I’ll put that Medal of Freedom right next to my Colonels rank tab in the Mall Officers Unarmed Forces, and slide that certificate in with the rest of my vital paperwork I carry around in a briefcase - right next to my Concealed Carry Badge. I’m gonna be a Golden Eagle!!!

    If Wayne let’s me hang out with him enough, I might even get laid for the first time.

    Anyone have $250 I can borrow?

    The King,
    Colonel, MOUF
    Im guessing the sense of smell hasnt come back yet? Lol
     
    View attachment 7613649

    This is the most monumental event in my life. Better than the birth of my kids or finally being old enough to drop out of High School.

    Wayne reached out to me personally, and said that I could be his friend! And he would give me a Medal. And a Certificate!

    My National Mall Security Officers Excellence medal was the previous highlight of my civilian fruit salad that I wear everywhere I go, proudly displaying all 6 of my lifetime achievements on my breast. Got that for successfully beating up a kid who was making a mess at Chunkee Cheezis.

    Thank god for 4XL uniform shirts - I was running out of room!

    I think I’ll put that Medal of Freedom right next to my Colonels rank tab in the Mall Officers Unarmed Forces, and slide that certificate in with the rest of my vital paperwork I carry around in a briefcase - right next to my Concealed Carry Badge. I’m gonna be a Golden Eagle!!!

    If Wayne let’s me hang out with him enough, I might even get laid for the first time.

    Anyone have $250 I can borrow?

    The King,
    Colonel, MOUF

    Is it made by Stauer?
     
    • Like
    Reactions: hollowoutadime
    Woah woah woah......whatchooo talkin about Willis he told me I had dibs on being a golden eagle.WTF??????
     
    • Like
    Reactions: armorpl8chikn
    Trusted friend and advisor? I'm sure the NRA has come to you repeatedly over the years for your wise counsel as they have me. Ha ha ha ha ha. Pretty lame even for the NRA.
     
    Just fyi i was making a joke about you not being able to smell the bullshit...
     
    I'm jealous. You're going to get so much poon with that medal. Make us all proud by wearing it like it's your MoH!
    Used to be the piggies would just start sniffing and snorting when I showed up to feed em.

    Now they full on squeal and turn their tails to me, oinking in anticipation.

    I think they can smell Wayne on me now because of this medal and are confused.
     
    I hate to break it to you guys that got the emails, but Wayne had someone from the USPO hand deliver me a personal invitation to be a Golden Eagle. I believe the guy that brought me the letter was in USPO special forces had some kind of black bird on his uniform and US government plates on the vehicle I suspect he was doing contract work overseas because the steering wheel was on the right......anyway my mom is going to let me know if I can join later!
     
    Waynes botched elephant hunt though...
    I hate to break it to you guys that got the emails, but Wayne had someone from the USPO hand deliver me a personal invitation to be a Golden Eagle. I believe the guy that brought me the letter was in USPO special forces had some kind of black bird on his uniform and US government plates on the vehicle I suspect he was doing contract work overseas because the steering wheel was on the right......anyway my mom is going to let me know if I can join later!
    Tell your mom I said it’s MINE and as soon as she pays me for laying that pipe she asked for I’m doing it!
     
    Any organization that Pelosi, Schumer, Biden, et al. hate that much can't be all that bad.

    Did someone say NRA?
    1619670109801.png
     
    • Like
    Reactions: DocRDS
    That email would make a Nigerian prince cringe.
     
    I have one of those medals. Believe me, the 250 a year is worth it for all the poontang I'm getting here at the retirement home.
     
    OK the NRA has definitely earned the mockery.

    I just wish that we could remake the organization and clean out the crud at the top the seem to be profiteering and giving us, all of us gunowners regardless of if you are a member or not, a very bad image.

    But holy shitballs this is such a embarassment. The calls are bad enough. This takes it to full retard.
     
    All you young whippersnappers missed out on the NRA Lifetime Membership give away. I was a first year member and I got a call from the NRA asking me if I wanted to become a lifetime member. I said sure if it was cheap enough. Their response was how about half off? So instead of $400 it was $200 and I could pay it off over 10 quarterly payments. So I did it and I've gotten so many freebies sent to me over the years. That $200 has gotten me well over that in just freebies. It came in handy when I started buying from the DCM/CMP.

    You can say all ya want about the current revision of the NRA, but back in the day, they were a very upstanding organization.
     
    • Like
    Reactions: buffalowinter
    All you young whippersnappers missed out on the NRA Lifetime Membership give away. I was a first year member and I got a call from the NRA asking me if I wanted to become a lifetime member. I said sure if it was cheap enough. Their response was how about half off? So instead of $400 it was $200 and I could pay it off over 10 quarterly payments. So I did it and I've gotten so many freebies sent to me over the years. That $200 has gotten me well over that in just freebies. It came in handy when I started buying from the DCM/CMP.

    You can say all ya want about the current revision of the NRA, but back in the day, they were a very upstanding organization.
    Oh I remember the NRA of my youth. Supermodel hot and nice as can be.

    Now she's morphed into Maxine Waters. Maybe it would be better if I didn't have the memories of their good times.
     
    • Like
    Reactions: Davo308
    Got a spam call from them yesterday. I told the guy that if the NRA's Dear Leader would take a drastic pay cut, and stop trying to convince me to renew five months before my scheduled expiration, I would donate more.

    They spend every dollar of my membership trying to convince me to give them more money for the "2A Fight". Meanwhile back at the HQ, their "Dear Leader" is blowing money like he's paid to do it. Private Jet's, $6M mansions, Takes summers off...etc. Oh, and $20m net worth.

    All the while they have sat idle as some of the most egregious infringement of our rights occur.

    Honestly, Wayne LaPierre reminds me of L. Ron Hubbard.