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Maggie’s Funny & awesome pics, vids and memes thread (work safe, no nudity)

That brings back memories. Many years ago we were visiting family in Norway, and one of my cousins showed me how to make firecrackers out of the rolls, using masking tape and a rubber band for the fuse. Predictably, they didn't all go off. I pocketed one of the really big ones that hadn't, and when we were having dinner at a decently nice restaurant, I got bored. I figured I'd use the scissors of my new Swiss army knife to cut it open so I could put another rubber band in it later and try again. It was 3 or 4 rolls folded, twisted, and taped together into a fire cracker the size of a cigar, and I managed to scratch a cap and set it off at the table. I will always remember my grandpa sitting there with his spoon halfway to his mouth, with little bits of red paper all over in his white hair. And boy was it ever quiet in there. The owners came running out, thinking the Germans were back for round 2 or something. Surprisingly enough, I didn't even really get in trouble for it. I guess everyone figured I had probably learned my lesson anyway, and my fingers sure hurt. Many years later I was back at the same restaurant, and an uncle asked if I remembered that incident, like I'd somehow ever forget it.
Kristian
 
That brings back memories. Many years ago we were visiting family in Norway, and one of my cousins showed me how to make firecrackers out of the rolls, using masking tape and a rubber band for the fuse. Predictably, they didn't all go off. I pocketed one of the really big ones that hadn't, and when we were having dinner at a decently nice restaurant, I got bored. I figured I'd use the scissors of my new Swiss army knife to cut it open so I could put another rubber band in it later and try again. It was 3 or 4 rolls folded, twisted, and taped together into a fire cracker the size of a cigar, and I managed to scratch a cap and set it off at the table. I will always remember my grandpa sitting there with his spoon halfway to his mouth, with little bits of red paper all over in his white hair. And boy was it ever quiet in there. The owners came running out, thinking the Germans were back for round 2 or something. Surprisingly enough, I didn't even really get in trouble for it. I guess everyone figured I had probably learned my lesson anyway, and my fingers sure hurt. Many years later I was back at the same restaurant, and an uncle asked if I remembered that incident, like I'd somehow ever forget it.
Kristian
I bet you found out an outdoor sauna can be substituted for "being taken behind the woodshed."
 
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IMG_2400.jpeg
 
This is what leftist demands for $15 an hour does…

View attachment 8126897

Fyi… minimum wage 1982 was $3.35/hr. Today that is about $10.50/hr. But that is still a 50 percent bump to labor rate. In an industry where margins are fractions of a cent .

So computers it is!

Sirhr
That's happening in a lot of restaurants, not just McDonald's. This is brings up the issue of tipping.

I always tip the waiters and waitresses if I get good service. Even if the service needs some improvement, I will still be a generous tipper. Who knows, maybe they are having a bad day.

Some of the places that have the Kiosk waiters ask for a tip. So another question comes up; how much of a gratuity is considered appropriate for a robot?

Think carefully before answering. There are people in the back that are preparing food. Unless it's completely automated a person brings the food out to the customer.

Now let me diverge for a moment. A long time ago, I was a bartender. I didn't last very long in that career. There were several waitresses in the joint lounge where I worked.

One night, a waitress came up to me and handed me some money. I asked her what it was for. She told me that it was customary for the waitress to split her tips with the bartenders. After all, the quicker we could get her the drinks, the sooner they were brought to the customers.

She was the ONLY waitress in the joint lounge that shared her tip money with the bartenders. So guess which waitress got her drink order first?

I bring that up because there are people in the back of these places that work to get the food to the customers who have never seen a dime of tip money. Now I understand that there are a lot of factors that play into the wages and tips earned for various members of the staff of many restaurants. So I'm not offering a one-size-fits-all solution to tipping etiquette.

There is one pizza place that I've patronized where ALL of the tips; cash or by credit card are put into one big pot and at the end of the evening. Then the socialist doctrine is applied to dividing it up.

So the waitress that busts her ass waiting on customers all night long has to give up the lion's share of her portion to the other server that moves with the speed of peanut butter sliding down a window pane.

I've stopped eating there and go to another pizza place where they build the pizza in front of you. No waitress. You name is called when it's ready.

Everyone behind the counter is working. The labor is equally divided. The question is asked about a tip in the credit card reader. So I tip, and everyone gets an equal share working to fill my order.
 
That's happening in a lot of restaurants, not just McDonald's. This is brings up the issue of tipping.

I always tip the waiters and waitresses if I get good service. Even if the service needs some improvement, I will still be a generous tipper. Who knows, maybe they are having a bad day.

Some of the places that have the Kiosk waiters ask for a tip. So another question comes up; how much of a gratuity is considered appropriate for a robot?

Think carefully before answering. There are people in the back that are preparing food. Unless it's completely automated a person brings the food out to the customer.

Now let me diverge for a moment. A long time ago, I was a bartender. I didn't last very long in that career. There were several waitresses in the joint lounge where I worked.

One night, a waitress came up to me and handed me some money. I asked her what it was for. She told me that it was customary for the waitress to split her tips with the bartenders. After all, the quicker we could get her the drinks, the sooner they were brought to the customers.

She was the ONLY waitress in the joint lounge that shared her tip money with the bartenders. So guess which waitress got her drink order first?

I bring that up because there are people in the back of these places that work to get the food to the customers who have never seen a dime of tip money. Now I understand that there are a lot of factors that play into the wages and tips earned for various members of the staff of many restaurants. So I'm not offering a one-size-fits-all solution to tipping etiquette.

There is one pizza place that I've patronized where ALL of the tips; cash or by credit card are put into one big pot and at the end of the evening. Then the socialist doctrine is applied to dividing it up.

So the waitress that busts her ass waiting on customers all night long has to give up the lion's share of her portion to the other server that moves with the speed of peanut butter sliding down a window pane.

I've stopped eating there and go to another pizza place where they build the pizza in front of you. No waitress. You name is called when it's ready.

Everyone behind the counter is working. The labor is equally divided. The question is asked about a tip in the credit card reader. So I tip, and everyone gets an equal share working to fill my order.
I tip in states that allow businesses to pay servers below min wage. They’re getting screwed. Everyone else knew their hourly wage when they signed the paper.

I was at a Torchy’s Tacos about a year ago- paying by card, but they had a tip jar by the register. I had cash, so I put a zero in the tip line, totaled it and handed back the receipt. The cashier looked at the receipt and the ensuing interaction happened (paraphrases).

“Hey, _____ you just missed out on an $8 tip.”
“Wha, lemme see… Bitch please.”

I kept my cash in my pocket. Many restaurants would do well to have an ordering kiosk at every table.

And, comparing 1982 to today is false equivalency. The tech to enable automated ordering was not yet available, and the electronic menu is not wizardry only decipherable by a teenager in a paper hat. The days of face to face ordering are numbered, and covid-19 hastened the demise.
 
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I tip in states that allow businesses to pay servers below min wage. They’re getting screwed. Everyone else knew their hourly wage when they signed the paper.

I was at a Torchy’s Tacos about a year ago- paying by card, but they had a tip jar by the register. I had cash, so I put a zero in the tip line, totaled it and handed back the receipt. The cashier looked at the receipt and the ensuing interaction happened (paraphrases).

“Hey, _____ you just missed out on an $8 tip.”
“Wha, lemme see… Bitch please.”

I kept my cash in my pocket. Many restaurants would do well to have an ordering kiosk at every table.

And, comparing 1982 to today is false equivalency. The tech to enable automated ordering was not yet available, and the electronic menu is not wizardry only decipherable by a teenager in a paper hat. The days of face to face ordering are numbered, and covid-19 hastened the demise.
Agreed and so did the demand for a $15/hour minimum wage.
 
You do know that one good kick will prove that is no stronger with the long screws...right ?
I cannot come up with a viable number for all the broken front door frames I've replaced.....hundreds ?

Now if you lag screw in a 1/4" metal plate that's about 1 foot long to the adjacent 2x4 that covers the screw area , then yea, maybe.
Maybe.
The trouble is doug fir.....it's just not very strong.
 
You do know that one good kick will prove that is no stronger with the long screws...right ?
I cannot come up with a viable number for all the broken front door frames I've replaced.....hundreds ?

Now if you lag screw in a 1/4" metal plate that's about 1 foot long to the adjacent 2x4 that covers the screw area , then yea, maybe.
Maybe.
The trouble is doug fir.....it's just not very strong.
Nothing will stop a determined individual.
But for the price of a few stainless steel screws it's a good start.
 
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You do know that one good kick will prove that is no stronger with the long screws...right ?
I cannot come up with a viable number for all the broken front door frames I've replaced.....hundreds ?

Now if you lag screw in a 1/4" metal plate that's about 1 foot long to the adjacent 2x4 that covers the screw area , then yea, maybe.
Maybe.
The trouble is doug fir.....it's just not very strong.
On the doors in the house I used 1/4" angle iron that is against the back of the door frame. Had to router a step in the trim to hide it. There is also a 1" metal tube the deadbolt slides into. Someone would have to try significantly harder to kick those doors in. Which I have always wondered why they try to kick a door in when a window is much easier to get through.