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Maggie’s And then the fight started...

High Binder

High Binder

Resident Tribologist
Full Member
Minuteman
Jun 18, 2008
495
24
Occupied Colorado
My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man
swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked her, "Do you know him?"

"Yes", she sighed, "He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

And then the fight started...
 
Re: And then the fight started...

Oh SHIT! Haha, your avatar says it all! Backfired! Who hasn't been in your shoes before? The best is when it happens in front of all your friends and their wives/gf's... Every couples skeletons come out of the closet.
 
Re: And then the fight started...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Jammer61</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Oh SHIT! Haha, your avatar says it all! </div></div>


LOL didn't even catch that.
 
Re: And then the fight started...

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."

I bought her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started......



When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive....

so, I took her to a gas station..... and then the fight started....



After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age.

I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, ‘That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me’ and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, ‘You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too’

And then the fight started.....



I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.

Yeah, well I couldn’t believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, ‘I AM NOT HAPPY!!!’

So, I looked down at him and said, ‘Well, then which one are you?’

And then the fight started.....
 
Re: And then the fight started...

I was watching the news about the stricken Italian cruise ship and the news reporter said 'she's lying on her side with a gash the size of a tennis court' I just happened to look at the wife and then the fight started
 
Re: And then the fight started...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Dooty</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I was watching the news about the stricken Italian cruise ship and the news reporter said 'she's lying on her side with a gash the size of a tennis court' I just happened to look at the wife and then the fight started </div></div>
Now tha's funny!!!!
Wrong; but funny
 
Re: And then the fight started...

My wife and I were discussing dinner the other day.....

She said she wanted to go somewhere she hadn't been for awhile..

I told her to go to the kitchen.

And then the fight started...
 
Re: And then the fight started...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Ky 606</div><div class="ubbcode-body">My wife and I were discussing dinner the other day.....

She said she wanted to go somewhere she hadn't been for awhile..

I told her to go to the kitchen.

And then the fight started...</div></div>
I showed my wife this...and then the fight started.

Ok not as funny as your post haha. it hit home with me!
 
Re: And then the fight started...

On night I was in the recliner watching tv when my wife walked in asking " what's on the tv tonight".

My reply "Dust"

and then the fight started
 
Re: And then the fight started...

Had a stomach ache the other night, my wife asked me if I wanted a laxative - I told her "no, you already irritate the shit out of me".
Then the fight was on!!!!!!

Just kidding, my wife is great.
 
Re: And then the fight started...

My x and I were having on of those off and on arguments ( She was behaving like the true redhead she was all day ). To change the subject, she told me, she was thinking about getting a tattoo, and asked for any ideas. Not knowing when to leave a sleeping dog lye or to miss a good smartass comeback.

I told her a tomb stone over her vajayjay,
and then the fight really started !!!!
 
Re: And then the fight started...

A bunch of us were sitting around talking about hunting and the women piped in and said its not fair because us guys get to go out and do stuff and.the girls don't have stuff to do, I said that's BS. There's dishes, laundry, ironing, all kinds of women stuff........

And.then the fight started.,
 
Re: And then the fight started...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ubet</div><div class="ubbcode-body">ex girlfriend caught me fucking her sister...
then the fight started</div></div>
that shit made me laugh! haha
 
Re: And then the fight started...

I commented on my GF's red shoes as being the red warning placed near an open manhole.
Then the fight started....
 
Re: And then the fight started...

My wife and I were travelling not long ago, almost to Lubbock to stay the night, I commented, "I can't wait to eat a good dinner, check in a nice hotel, and make love to a beautiful woman." I then added, " I don't know what you are going to do for 3 hours."

She failed to see the humor, and then the fight started.

Unfortunately for me, this is a true story.............
 
Re: And then the fight started...

I asked my wife if she new what the definition of "wife" was. She said "No, what is it?" I told her it was an attachment you screw on the bed to do the washing, ironing and cooking for you, and then the fight started...
 
Re: And then the fight started...

My wife & I were sitting in a movie once watching "On Golden Pond" with Henry and Jane Fonda and since we both are the same age as Jane, wife says "If I had that much free time, I could look like that too" Me "Take as much time as you like" and then the fighting started.
 
Re: And then the fight started...

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."

The husband replies, "Your eyesight’s damn near perfect."

And then the fight started…

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch,
Grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a Torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband Is out fishing in that?"
And then the fight started ...

-----------------------------------------------------------------

My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I told her Not as much as the dress that she had worn yesterday.
And then the fight started.....







 
Re: And then the fight started...

So Im laying in bed at about six in the morning reading a few posts here on the hide laughing my ass off when my wife rolls over and asks "whats so funny?" in my infinite wisdom I decide to share some humerous stories about the fine gents on here and how they ended up starting a fight. Well... Guess what happened next?

And then the fight started...
 
Re: And then the fight started...

Forgot to give her the "tap"
grin.gif


And then the fight started.....
 
Re: And then the fight started...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ubet</div><div class="ubbcode-body">ex girlfriend caught me fucking her sister...
then the fight started </div></div>

Should have used Amsoil....in and out quicker with less friction ....quicker getaway.

whistle.gif
 
Re: And then the fight started...

Starting at 7:20 am this morning my wife starts texting me while she's on her way to work complaining about this and that. Most of it was mundane and pointless and I had to get our little one off to the baby sitter so instead of returning the text the following occured:

ring...ring...ring

Her: Hello!
Me: What are you doing? It's not even 7:30 am and I'm thinking about mixing vodka with my pineapple orange juice. (Not that I would at 7:30 am just before I had to transport my first born to the baby sitter...but it sounded good in my head)

Then the fight started....
 
Re: And then the fight started...

Went to dinner tonight with the wife. I figured I'd be smart and let her drive. When we got to the resturant I got out of the car and kissed the ground...........you guessed it. True story.
 
Re: And then the fight started...

True story: My ex was cutting her toenails one night. I told her that my horseshoeing tools were in the truck & she could borrow my hoofclippers. Of course the fight started
grin.gif
 
Re: And then the fight started...

The wife and I were playing tennis in the afternoon. It had rained that morning and the court surface was slick.

She said someone should invent shoes just for tennis.
I must have laughed a little too hard, for a little too long because...then the fight started.
 
Re: And then the fight started...

I got this in a text the other day.


My wife just caught me blow drying my dick and asked what I was doing. Aparently warming up your supper was not the answer she was looking for.

And the fight started
 
Re: And then the fight started...

My wife told me to go to the doctors and get some of those tablets that'd help me get an erection.

You should have seen her face when I came back and tossed her some diet pills!

I'm still looking for a place to live...
 
Re: And then the fight started...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Barneybdb</div><div class="ubbcode-body">My wife told me to go to the doctors and get some of those tablets that'd help me get an erection.

You should have seen her face when I came back and tossed her some diet pills!

I'm still looking for a place to live... </div></div>Hahaha these are classic

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: taracer</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I got this in a text the other day.


My wife just caught me blow drying my dick and asked what I was doing. Aparently warming up your supper was not the answer she was looking for.

And the fight started </div></div>
 
Re: And then the fight started...

I just read a comment posted on another forum. The question asked, in all seriousness, was how close have you ever come to death?

Most of the responses were health related.

One guy responded stating that the closest he ever came to death was when he told his girlfriend that her sister was better in bed! That is when the fight started.

I just about blew my drink up through my nose - I was NOT ready for that response.
 
Re: And then the fight started...

my girlfriend: You know what I need to get back into?
my response: Your old jeans?
....and then the fight started

The next two weren't me but I was there to witness.
My buddies wife: Did you two just check out that girl?
My buddies response: Baby, I gave you my heart not my eyes.
.....and then the fight started

My other buddies girlfriend: You know I don't like to kiss you when you chew.
My other buddies response: It's okay baby, my dick don't chew.
.....and then the fight started
 
Re: And then the fight started...

Her: My gynecologist said I can't have sex for about 6 weeks.
Me: Ok, so what did you dentist say?

And then the fight started.
 
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