Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
Chuck Norris once won a staring contest...
with the sun
Chuck Norris once won a staring contest...
with the sun
Maggie’s Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
- Thread starter One-Eyed Jack
- Start date
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
Chuck Norris puts the Laughter in Manslaughter.
Chuck Norris puts the Laughter in Manslaughter.
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
A few more....
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
In his will, Chuck Norris has specified that if he dies, he will bury himself.
They're making a sequel to 300 starring Chuck Norris. Its called 1
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano
Chuck Norris doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
A few more....
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
In his will, Chuck Norris has specified that if he dies, he will bury himself.
They're making a sequel to 300 starring Chuck Norris. Its called 1
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano
Chuck Norris doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
If at first you don't succeed.....you're not Chuck Norris.
If at first you don't succeed.....you're not Chuck Norris.
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
Chuck Norris once became aroused while laying face down and struck oil.
Chuck Norris once became aroused while laying face down and struck oil.
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
When Chuck Norris has sex, the woman is never on top...because Chuck Norris never f*cks up.
Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*ck down
Pinatas were made in an attempt to get Chuck Norris to stop kicking the people of Mexico. Sadly this backfired, as all it has resulted in is Chuck Norris now looking for candy after he kicks his victims.
When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion, one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the @ss, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f*cking Jeep.
When Chuck Norris has sex, the woman is never on top...because Chuck Norris never f*cks up.
Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*ck down
Pinatas were made in an attempt to get Chuck Norris to stop kicking the people of Mexico. Sadly this backfired, as all it has resulted in is Chuck Norris now looking for candy after he kicks his victims.
When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion, one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the @ss, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f*cking Jeep.
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: cramey74</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Chuck Norris could post something FOR SALE in this section with only 1 post and not get banned </div></div>
I could, but the recoil would be too much.
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: cramey74</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Chuck Norris could post something FOR SALE in this section with only 1 post and not get banned </div></div>
I could, but the recoil would be too much.
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ChuckNorris</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: cramey74</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Chuck Norris could post something FOR SALE in this section with only 1 post and not get banned </div></div>
I could, but the recoil would be too much. </div></div>
Is this some odd anti-Chuck Norris joke?
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ChuckNorris</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: cramey74</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Chuck Norris could post something FOR SALE in this section with only 1 post and not get banned </div></div>
I could, but the recoil would be too much. </div></div>
Is this some odd anti-Chuck Norris joke?
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
Thought some of you might be interested in how Chuck Norris got his martial arts skills. Simple- he sold his soul to the devil, and got the skills for payment. As soon as he had the skills, he roundhouse kicked the devil and took his soul back.
Satan thinks this is funny, because he should have seen it coming. They play golf every Wednesday, and Chuck always wins.
1911fan
Thought some of you might be interested in how Chuck Norris got his martial arts skills. Simple- he sold his soul to the devil, and got the skills for payment. As soon as he had the skills, he roundhouse kicked the devil and took his soul back.
Satan thinks this is funny, because he should have seen it coming. They play golf every Wednesday, and Chuck always wins.
1911fan
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
The quickest way to commit suicide is to Google Chuck Norris, and click "I'm feeling lucky"
During his lifetime, WIlt Chamberlain claimed to have sex with over 20,000 women. To Chuck Norris, this is known as a "Slow Tuesday".
Chuck Norris during his early years had sex with an entire convent of nuns. Nine months later, they collectively gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated NFL team in history.
Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.
Chuck Norris clogs the toilet when he pees.
The quickest way to commit suicide is to Google Chuck Norris, and click "I'm feeling lucky"
During his lifetime, WIlt Chamberlain claimed to have sex with over 20,000 women. To Chuck Norris, this is known as a "Slow Tuesday".
Chuck Norris during his early years had sex with an entire convent of nuns. Nine months later, they collectively gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated NFL team in history.
Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.
Chuck Norris clogs the toilet when he pees.
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
Poked by Chuck Norris
Cheers,
Sirhr
Poked by Chuck Norris
Cheers,
Sirhr
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
Chuck Norris can kill two birds with half a stone.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books...he stares at them until they give him the information he wants.
Chuck Norris can divide by 0.
Chuck Norris can create a fire by rubing two ice cubes together.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.
Chuck Norris can kill two birds with half a stone.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books...he stares at them until they give him the information he wants.
Chuck Norris can divide by 0.
Chuck Norris can create a fire by rubing two ice cubes together.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
This is my favorite board.
This is my favorite board.
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
Chuck Norris Can play the Xbox with a Wii remote.
Chuck Norris Can play the Xbox with a Wii remote.
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
If there were a distortion in space/time and Chuck Norris was forced to fight himself, he'd win.
Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
If there were a distortion in space/time and Chuck Norris was forced to fight himself, he'd win.
Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
Chuck Norris counted to infinity, twice
Chuck Norris counted to infinity, twice
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
http://www.motifake.com/chuck-who-wayne-duke-demotivational-posters-124046.html
http://www.motifake.com/chuck-who-wayne-duke-demotivational-posters-124046.html
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: GrnMtnRidgeRunnr</div><div class="ubbcode-body">http://www.motifake.com/chuck-who-wayne-duke-demotivational-posters-124046.html </div></div>
Very good
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: GrnMtnRidgeRunnr</div><div class="ubbcode-body">http://www.motifake.com/chuck-who-wayne-duke-demotivational-posters-124046.html </div></div>
Very good
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: GrnMtnRidgeRunnr</div><div class="ubbcode-body">http://www.motifake.com/chuck-who-wayne-duke-demotivational-posters-124046.html</div></div>
Best post in this thread!!!!
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: GrnMtnRidgeRunnr</div><div class="ubbcode-body">http://www.motifake.com/chuck-who-wayne-duke-demotivational-posters-124046.html</div></div>
Best post in this thread!!!!
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
that's a nice one
that's a nice one
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: GrnMtnRidgeRunnr</div><div class="ubbcode-body">http://www.motifake.com/chuck-who-wayne-duke-demotivational-posters-124046.html </div></div>
HA! I've had this as my desktop background for a solid 3 months now. Nail on the head, Awesome!
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: GrnMtnRidgeRunnr</div><div class="ubbcode-body">http://www.motifake.com/chuck-who-wayne-duke-demotivational-posters-124046.html </div></div>
HA! I've had this as my desktop background for a solid 3 months now. Nail on the head, Awesome!
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
Chuck Norris made his own fleshlight out of 100mph tape and emery cloth.
Chuck Norris made his own fleshlight out of 100mph tape and emery cloth.
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse, a horse is hung like Chuck Norris
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble you win......forever!!!
Jackie Chan times Jesus = Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris is donating blood it is rarely his own, and when it is he refuses the needle and requests a handgun and bucket ! !
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse, a horse is hung like Chuck Norris
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble you win......forever!!!
Jackie Chan times Jesus = Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris is donating blood it is rarely his own, and when it is he refuses the needle and requests a handgun and bucket ! !
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
OMG! These are starting to sound like those commercials for the "Most Interesting Man in the World" ads for Heineken...you don't suppose...
OMG! These are starting to sound like those commercials for the "Most Interesting Man in the World" ads for Heineken...you don't suppose...
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Iamironman</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> </div></div>
This is just proof that Chuck Norris is also the best ACTOR in the world. Besides, Bruce Lee asked his permission to be famous. Chuck Norris not only accommodated him, but he humbly let him appear to win, by cutting the part of the scene where Chuck gets up and beats him into a full body cast.
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Iamironman</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
This is just proof that Chuck Norris is also the best ACTOR in the world. Besides, Bruce Lee asked his permission to be famous. Chuck Norris not only accommodated him, but he humbly let him appear to win, by cutting the part of the scene where Chuck gets up and beats him into a full body cast.
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
Im gonna leave this one as a fill in the punchline...
Chuck Norris went to the 1000 yd.range with Lowlight. Lowlight wondered why Chuck didnt bring any ammo. After shooting a perfect score, LL was feeling pretty cocky when Chuck........
Im gonna leave this one as a fill in the punchline...
Chuck Norris went to the 1000 yd.range with Lowlight. Lowlight wondered why Chuck didnt bring any ammo. After shooting a perfect score, LL was feeling pretty cocky when Chuck........
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
Hey man. Fixed it for ya!
Hey man. Fixed it for ya!
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: maggot</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Im gonna leave this one as a fill in the punchline...
Chuck Norris went to the 1000 yd.range with Lowlight. Lowlight wondered why Chuck didnt bring any ammo. After shooting a perfect score, LL was feeling pretty cocky when Chuck........ </div></div>
laughed, whipped out his pecker..and shot a perfect score with only drops of piss(which set the target on fire so they only saw the perfect score for a few moments)
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: maggot</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Im gonna leave this one as a fill in the punchline...
Chuck Norris went to the 1000 yd.range with Lowlight. Lowlight wondered why Chuck didnt bring any ammo. After shooting a perfect score, LL was feeling pretty cocky when Chuck........
laughed, whipped out his pecker..and shot a perfect score with only drops of piss(which set the target on fire so they only saw the perfect score for a few moments)
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
Chuck Norris once defeated an entire army with nothing but a teletubby.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
Chuck Norris made Journey stop believing.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack, his heart lost.
Chuck Norris once defeated an entire army with nothing but a teletubby.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
Chuck Norris made Journey stop believing.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack, his heart lost.
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
the only bitches that can handle Chuck in the sack !
the only bitches that can handle Chuck in the sack !
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: jhnmdahl</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Chuck Norris won the World Series Of Poker holding only a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a Monopoly ‘get out of jail free’ card.</div></div>
This one has me rolling!
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: jhnmdahl</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Chuck Norris won the World Series Of Poker holding only a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a Monopoly ‘get out of jail free’ card.</div></div>
This one has me rolling!
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
when exactly did the whole "chuck norris" bad ass thing start up. I mean, i grew up in the chuck norris movie era but about 8 months ago i started hearing kids saying these types of chuck norris things and have no idea what got it going with this generation
when exactly did the whole "chuck norris" bad ass thing start up. I mean, i grew up in the chuck norris movie era but about 8 months ago i started hearing kids saying these types of chuck norris things and have no idea what got it going with this generation
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: RogueHK</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I think the chuck thing was just a funny because everyone knows he's really just an actor with some good skills </div></div>
Lol... Yeah that's it...
<ul style="list-style-type: disc">[*]Professional Middleweight Karate champion title, which he held for six consecutive years[*]First Westerner in the documented history of Tae Kwon Do to be given the rank of 8th Degree Black Belt Grand Master[*]Record of 183–10–2[/list]
It started in 2005 with the creation of a website called ChuckNorrisFacts.com... Wikepedia is your friend...
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: RogueHK</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I think the chuck thing was just a funny because everyone knows he's really just an actor with some good skills </div></div>
Lol... Yeah that's it...
<ul style="list-style-type: disc">[*]Professional Middleweight Karate champion title, which he held for six consecutive years[*]First Westerner in the documented history of Tae Kwon Do to be given the rank of 8th Degree Black Belt Grand Master[*]Record of 183–10–2[/list]
It started in 2005 with the creation of a website called ChuckNorrisFacts.com... Wikepedia is your friend...
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
Don't bother responding to RogueHK's post, he's probably already been roundhoused
Don't bother responding to RogueHK's post, he's probably already been roundhoused
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
Apologies if it's a repeat but I did look and might have missed it but for those that haven't tried this, go to Google and type in "find Chuck Norris" and click on I'm feeling Lucky if your browser shows that.
Apologies if it's a repeat but I did look and might have missed it but for those that haven't tried this, go to Google and type in "find Chuck Norris" and click on I'm feeling Lucky if your browser shows that.
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SavageLapua</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> </div></div>
What Movie was that from? I don't recognize it!
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SavageLapua</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
What Movie was that from? I don't recognize it!
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
Looked it up, this is where it's from... Supposedly...
"Walker Texas Ranger S05E18 Devil's Turf"
Looked it up, this is where it's from... Supposedly...
"Walker Texas Ranger S05E18 Devil's Turf"
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
I thought I shut this game of grab-ass down already.
I thought I shut this game of grab-ass down already.
Re: Braggin' on Chuck Norris again
The funniest shit going is in the movie "The Expendables 2" where chuck Norris does a chuck Noris joke.
Nearly pissed myself laughing in the theater.
The funniest shit going is in the movie "The Expendables 2" where chuck Norris does a chuck Noris joke.
Nearly pissed myself laughing in the theater.
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