Depression

[Maggot]

In the light of Robin William's sad suicide I thought this might be a good place/time to discuss depression. Odds are you or someone you know is suffering from it. Its not funny and it can be fatal, or at least disabling.

Having dealt with it when I was younger, and overcoming it by myself, taught me a lot about the disease. Yes, it is a disease...of the heart and mind.

Its my thought that all depression originates in either chronic physical pain, or more often poor self esteem...at some level. Ill leave the chronic pain alone since I think that is pretty easy for most to understand. So to poor self esteem:

If one can accept that what we think about, is for the most part, what our reality becomes then its not much of a stretch to realize that if one thinks negatively about oneself, their reality is going to become unpleasant. As most of our self esteem is formed by the time we are 6-8 years old (some say earlier) a child who is molested, abused, or excessively demeaned can often develop a poor self image. If one is constantly put ill at ease by those who should be kind, and told you are worthless and no good, will never succeed, and are a failure, what will they learn to think of themselves. What will their view of reality become?

Some deal with it better than others, but that doesnt mean they dont suffer from depression...only that they deal with it. Some abuse drugs or alcohol. some eat themselves into submission. Some become overachievers, always busy because to rest allows the mind to face a problem that it has no way to solve. I think Mr. Williams was of that type. Regardless of the method of covering it up, there is still a problem, and just like a physical wound left untreated, sooner or later it will become infected and cause more problems.

The only way I found to over come it was to entirely dismantle the view of myself that had been forced on me by the ignorant and cruel, and create a self that I could like and be comfortable with. That, believe me, for those suffering from depression, is a Herculean undertaking, but doable.

This is by no means an exhaustive post. I invite others to share their knowledge and experiences. If it helps even one person to deal with a nasty situation then its worth it.

*****A late note brought to my attention ....Be careful what personal stuff you post here. Assume Big Brother is watching/listening.*****

 

[Forgetful Coyote]

That reminds me a point in time I told my grandpap I loved him.

His reply: "You got two ears and one mouth boy, better you listen than talk."

 

[Killswitch Engage]

That reminds me a point in time I told my grandpap I loved him.

His reply: "You got two ears and one mouth boy, better you listen than talk."

real nice fella you're grand pap

 

[Rhyno]

I suffer from depression as well, it's a struggle. Mine came from, (probably) being molested as a child, and constant ridicule from bullies, (and me listening to many people's advice to just take it, which if I have kids I will never tell them.)

It can be a struggle, I have few friends because I don't trust anyone, and a few other things.

Finding the right prescription helps for awhile but not for long it seems.

The best medicines for me are doing things like working out, which is about the last thing I want to do when It gets bad, or things I'm naturally good at. (shooting mostly)

It's a shit disease.

 

[mardad]

In the light of Robin William's sad suicide I thought this might be a good place/time to discuss depression. Odds are you or someone you know is suffering from it. Its not funny and it can be fatal, or at least disabling.

Having dealt with it when I was younger, and overcoming it by myself, taught me a lot about the disease. Yes, it is a disease...of the heart and mind.

Its my thought that all depression originates in either chronic physical pain, or more often poor self esteem...at some level. Ill leave the chronic pain alone since I think that is pretty easy for most to understand. So to poor self esteem:

If one can accept that what we think about, is for the most part, what our reality becomes then its not much of a stretch to realize that if one thinks negatively about oneself, their reality is going to become unpleasant. As most of our self esteem is formed by the time we are 6-8 years old (some say earlier) a child who is molested, abused, or excessively demeaned can often develop a poor self image. If one is constantly put ill at ease by those who should be kind, and told you are worthless and no good, will never succeed, and are a failure, what will they learn to think of themselves. What will their view of reality become?

Some deal with it better than others, but that doesnt mean they dont suffer from depression...only that they deal with it. Some abuse drugs or alcohol. some eat themselves into submission. Some become overachievers, always busy because to rest allows the mind to face a problem that it has no way to solve. I think Mr. Williams was of that type. Regardless of the method of covering it up, there is still a problem, and just like a physical wound left untreated, sooner or later it will become infected and cause more problems.

The only way I found to over come it was to entirely dismantle the view of myself that had been forced on me by the ignorant and cruel, and create a self that I could like and be comfortable with. That, believe me, for those suffering from depression, is a Herculean undertaking, but doable.

This is by no means an exhaustive post. I invite others to share their knowledge and experiences. If it helps even one person to deal with a nasty situation then its worth it.

Care to share the "dismantling" process?

 

[woojos]

I picked up a book called "Darkness Visible" by a writer who struggled with suicidal depression and was able to convey some of what he was going through in writing.

Mental illness is hard to truly empathize with unless you have been there, and I think most people end up going through some dark times, but never come close to experiencing something so terrible that suicide seems a sane option. Mental illness is scary this way, as it is very real to the sufferer, but can't be comprehended by friends, family, and even Dr.

It's a quick read and you can get a free pdf here: https://archive.org/details/DarknessVisiblewilliamStyron

 

[Sean the Nailer]

I do know that the professionals break the depression down into different 'types'. I'm not saying one type is worse or better than another. What I AM saying, is that depression can be a result of different combinations of reasons. It can also show itself differently, between individuals, as well. ie for some people, it is genetic. For some others, it is environmental, etc. There are others.

The next big problem with it, is the lack of awareness of the individual with the issue. I'm not saying it is 'denial', as to my way of thinking the definition of denial is knowingly choosing to believe the opposite of reality. Whereas in this problem, the person him/herself may not be aware that their actions are 'off'. Things can be 'normal' for so long that you truly believe it is normal. It is only when the patient hits 'rock bottom' in one way or another, that help is administered. (again, that too can be one way or another) But when the correct help is being given, all the sudden the patient starts to become aware of the "true normal" as opposed to their own "perceived normal".

And that is the point where the healing can begin, and progress can be made. The destruction and devastation that brought him/her to that point though, is lasting and still have its repercussions therein.

I've seen this happen, and seen the damage it brings upon the family, friends, and co-workers. Not pretty, especially when you've known the 'patient' for so many years, and can see the decline.

They say that it's when you can't see the decline, that you are the one with the problem.

 

[Krav69]

Maggot, thank you for posting this.

This will help lots of people and possibly change some people's wrong minded belief that depression is just an excuse or some sorta B.S. thing...

Due to chronic depression, I have lost several friends to suicide and I wish I could sit them all down and talk things out, but it's too damn late.

If you know or suspect someone has this disease, be a friend and look out for them. You don't want to receive some of the phone calls that I have had....

 

[Maggot]

Care to share the "dismantling" process?

Certainly.

For me it began when a friend asked me "What was the first time you felt that way?" So I went back in my memories til I found an incident which triggered the depression (there can be many and varied). The next time I would go a it further back, and further back, til I found the original incident. When you find it you know it like an 'Aha' moment. Generally, at that point, you've "Found the truth, and the truth makes you free." (some very wise man) and the power of the event is broken.Some call that process regression therapy. But as I said above there can be many 'events' and many layers. Some events are so painful and buried so deep they are almost unreachable. Therapists used to use substance like LSD, MDMA, and others to access those deeper regions, but those tools, thru misuse by the ignorant, and the fear and hysteria of the many, are no longer available, even to those who can use them with wisdom.

At some point I saw that I was consumed by shame and guilt and it just pissed me off and I said (to myself) "Fuck this, I refuse to accept the shame and guilt that someone else put on me. I CHOOSE TO HAVE VALUE, I CHOOSE TO BE WORTHWHILE". From that point I began building an individual that I could like and admire.

The key, however, is clearing the negative events, or your building your foundation on sand.

 

[mardad]

This is good stuff, guys. I CAN'T be the only one that needed this today?????

 

[Rhyno]

On a semi related side note, I don't know if anyone is a 5FDP fan, but their new video promotes awareness of former military members and their struggle with well everyday life after deployment.

It's pretty powerful stuff.

http://youtu.be/o_l4Ab5FRwM

 

[QuickNDirty]

If you know or suspect someone has this disease, be a friend and look out for them. You don't want to receive some of the phone calls that I have had....

Definitely. I got one of those from the police re: my brother. One of the worst days of my life.

If you know someone is in a real dark place, there may not be much you can do, and there are a lot of things you can do that will make it worse. It's genuinely hard to help someone out of that.

Thankfully, I didn't need anyone else's help. I just decided (after a long, hard road of alternatives) to accept that I am what I am, people are what they are, and the world is what it is.
With that acceptance (IE, I'm not immortal, I'm not rich, not a genius, not in prime physical condition, not amazingly handsome, not a superhero, not charming nor charismatic, but damnit I am one persistent little shit and most anything I set my mind to I can achieve), I realized that as long as I started making some good choices, things would get better. They did.

 

[Maggot]

On a semi related side note, I don't know if anyone is a 5FDP fan, but their new video promotes awareness of former military members and their struggle with well everyday life after deployment.

It's pretty powerful stuff.

Five Finger Death Punch - Wrong Side Of Heaven - YouTube

That is powerful.

I think that all depression is in some way a form of PTSD whether it comes from being molested, from seeing your buddy blown away right beside you, or going through the windshield of a car. Its just more than the psyche can handle so it tries to compensate or escape. Some times it just breaks.

 

[Greg Langelius *]

Determining "normal" is an individual and unique matter. It would surprise me greatly to find another whose life experience comes anywhere even close to my own.

Living in a household where marital strife developed into separation, subsequently alternating my home life between two sets of grandparents, all between Kindergarten and 4th grade, with my two older brother always in the "other" household, is clearly not unique, but it did serve as a life foundation for another, perhaps more unique, combination of events.

To the above, we add, selective service induction into the USMC, 13 of my 24 month in I Corps under combat conditions, the last 13 months of my enlistment served as an NCO with real-life responsibility for a Marine Corps Engineer/Rifle squad.

Then, being dumped unceremoniously back into civvie life.

Enduring undiagnosed PTSD for 21 years, then undergoing a 5 year bout with Mixed Cell Lymphoma, followed immediately by another 5 year bout, this time with Hodgkins Lymphoma. Follow this 6 years later with a quite serious heart attack during which I was diagnosed terminal, yet received extraordinary care including Angioplasty, an Aortic balloon pump, and finally, a quadruple Coronary Arterial Bypass. Total recovery amounted/amounts, to a cardiac capacity of somewhere between 40% and 60% of normal.

Would depression be considered normal or abnormal in such a case? IMHO, my life experience constitutes my own personal "normal". Living through and looking forward from such experiences is rather highly likely to result in a unique perspective.

But the question becomes harder when one tries to determine whether it would be objectively "normal". From my perspective, it is unquestionably "normal". Seen by others, I don't really know, and honestly, don't really care.

I cope, some days better than others. I pay serious attention to my own attitude, and work continuously to respond to challenges in a socially adequate manner. 'T ain't all that easy, but I can live with what remains.

Having looked hard and long at the question of self termination, my response is that if I had done something like that, I would have missed the best of my and my family's lives. But at the time, it can begin to look like a real option. For me, the resolution involved calming down and extending my imagination beyond the tunnel vision of fear, frustration, and guilt. It was something of a miracle that I was able to rise up to that plane, because I was well and truly at rock bottom at the time

I did it all alone. I am incredibly glad that I did. Having done it, I think I can understand how people get that way, and can't get themselves back out of it. But I can't agree with it, or approve of it.

To me it is a failure of imagination; a big one.

These days I take prescribed meds to elevate my mood. They work quite well, but they did not cure me, they only help me deal with these matters with some assistance. Can they cure folks? Maybe, but I doubt it, because the patterns of thought are essentially well worn mental pathways, and it takes conscious thought to step completely out of the rut. Meds do not have such a capacity, only the conscious minds can take such steps.

Greg

 

[Maggot]

It's genuinely hard to help someone out of that.

Thankfully, I didn't need anyone else's help. I just decided (after a long, hard road of alternatives) to accept that I am what I am, people are what they are, and the world is what it is.
With that acceptance (IE, I'm not immortal, I'm not rich, not a genius, not in prime physical condition, not amazingly handsome, not a superhero, not charming nor charismatic, but damnit I am one persistent little shit and most anything I set my mind to I can achieve), I realized that as long as I started making some good choices, things would get better. They did.

Basically what I did. well said, and congratulations, brother.

 

[zenbiker]

That reminds me a point in time I told my grandpap I loved him.

His reply: "You got two ears and one mouth boy, better you listen than talk."

I was told this by my father as well, but more of a life lesson than an intent to demean. See the Zen parable about the Empty Cup.

I have suffered from depression most of my life, all of it stemming from bullying during my entire childhood. Constant physical and mental abuse, broken bones, humiliation, formed an unbidden response to negative situations that were uncontrollable. I have been on antidepressants, and while they helped, they were merely a band-aid over an underlying problem -my thought processes. I only started to make progress when I essentially "ditched myself" by turning my back on the societal rules that govern our behavior.

We are all different people. Some are stoic, some are sensitive/empathic ( Hi, my name is Wes, and I am a Sensitive Empathic Man ). We have to figure out who we are and what works for us and not let others sell us a bill of goods, and then act accordingly. Surround yourself with people who understand you, and ditch those who would drag you down, even if they're family. Get rid of negative emotions like hate and revenge and channel that energy into what will make you feel better. If you need to cry, do it; don't let anyone tell you it makes you less of a man/woman/ person; crying is your brain dealing with an overload of stress. Do not keep it pent up; find a healthy outlet for it. Have a good cry, then go for a motorcycle ride, put in a good workout at the gym, pound the heavy bag, meditate ( this is not hard or mysterious - just sit in a quiet room, close your eyes, and just think - or don't think, there is no right way - and just sit there for half an hour, and see what happens. Keep at it, you aren't looking for "enlightenment" as much as you are giving your brain a chance to process what is going on in your life. Do it every day, even if it's only for ten minutes. Oh - for me, I get the most out of it when I first get up, about 6 am. Your mileage may vary. ) Whatever you do, no matter how hard it seems, do not let depression freeze you into submission. Get out, walk around, call a friend, call a hotline, join a Tai Chi class, get yourself around positive people, but don't let it overwhelm you.

Friends/support group: I can't say enough about having someone around who will help you through a rough patch. Sooner or later, we all hit a spot that is more than we can process at the moment, like me just finding out that my Dad needs open heart surgery. I have never been so scared of anything in my life. I am thankful for my fiancee because the reality that I might lose him hit me like a hammer. Thanks to her, I'm coping with it.

The only other thing I can say in this rambling post is that life is a constant stream of happiness, sadness, blessings, curses, justice, injustice - in short, all these things and myriad other experiences make our existence. When we are led to believe for whatever reason that it's our fault, we caused it, if only we were a better son/daughter/husband/wife/employee/boss, then things would be better, the exit ramp to depression starts to appear on the horizon. Couple that with actual neurological diseases, and we will forever have Robin Williams/John Belushi/Amy Winehouse/your coworker, son, wife, whoever, and each has a unique set of circumstances and they all need the same thing: Compassion, Support, Friendship, things to bring happiness to lives they believe are to worthless to merit happiness. They need us. We need each other. So stop and look at the people you know, and if they look beat down, ask them if everything is OK; if you feel like you are on the downward slide, talk to a friend/spiritual counselor/motorcycle dealer, someone who will listen to you and drop everything to help you, but remember, our lives are how we choose to see them. We need to learn that ultimately, we make our own destiny, and to learn to appreciate yourself for who you are is the hardest thing we need to do, but the most important thing we can do for ourselves, and ultimately each other. God help us all, and let us help each other.







Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk HD

 

[Forgetful Coyote]

That is powerful.

I think that all depression is in some way a form of PTSD whether it comes from being molested, from seeing your buddy blown away right beside you, or going through the windshield of a car. Its just more than the psyche can handle so it tries to compensate or escape. Some times it just breaks.

Very likely. I think I posted before about a car wreck I got in when I was 16. I was the passenger, my best bud was driving, drunk as a sailor. We slammed into a culvert pipe around 50mph head on, neither of us with seatbelts on. The blood was pouring off my face like a water hose. And my bud was laid over completely unresponsive. Ive never felt so horrified in my entire life. It was like a scene out of some movie. Blood everywhere, no skin at all from my upper lip down to the top of my neck, broke nose. My only thought was trying to revive him or something so we could GTFO. He finally regained consciousness and we did just that.

 

[Krav69]

I recently had a conversation with a hypnotherapist. I asked if he sees PTSD and other stress related patients. He said he did and business is better than ever, but he said something that I now think is profound.

"The human mind isn't designed for the modern world. It wasn't designed for the stresses of the business world, the entertainment world, driving, traffic, constant adrenaline, modern warfare, any of that stuff. We were designed, by God or Evolution, whichever is fine, to go out of the cave, whack a Mastodon and then kick back and relax. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less."

He has a ton of clients here in the Denver area, so maybe he's onto something....

 

[orkan]

I think depression is an effect, or a symptom... not the "disease" itself.

The disease is society at large. People are so concerned with their position in society, that they do not concentrate on what is really important. They allow the judgements of others destroy their happiness. Their goal is to have a bigger house, have a better vehicle, have a boat, jet ski's, motorcycles, and on and on it goes. Not because it makes them happy, but because it is expected of them. Their focus is on acquiring things, or getting to a certain level of income, thinking that once they get "there" they will be happy. The truth is, "there" doesn't exist. If your goal is to be happy, then you can be! In order to do it, you need to be free from the trappings of others. If you do not desire happiness, it will never come to you. Time spent identifying what makes you happy, and then an absolute decision to BECOME happy all the time, and back that decision up with definiteness of purpose... and you'll be happy. I guarantee it. More importantly, it will be a happiness that others will have a difficult time destroying.

Most people are focusing on all the wrong things these days. Women want to go get jobs and a "career," when what they should be doing is looking after their family. It's the only damn thing they are good at anyway. Men want to dress up like women, with makeup and ridiculous costumes to go to some bar/club/gathering to try to impress some superficial emotionally-broken female, whether they are already with her, or are searching for a new one.

Society is sick, and the effects of this fact can be seen absolutely everywhere. People are concentrating on all the wrong things, and as a result, the important things are being systematically destroyed.

 

[sharac]

You Americans should listen to some eastern advice... Alcohol cures everything...eventually...if you're persistent enough with therapy . It even makes sun shine in Finland...

 

[KUSA]

A word of caution to those claiming to have depression. Big Brother is reading this and I would hate for a good man to be deprived of weapons for engaging in an innocent conversation.

 

[alpine44]

I hope some trained and experienced psychologist can chime in on the power of PTSD but I do not think that gruesome events by themselves are the course for deep, captive depression.

Both my parents experienced as teenagers during WWII horrors that would be unimaginable to today's kids. These experiences did not tip them over the edge. I am sure that many could provide plenty similar examples from relatives or friends who served or got drawn into similar messes as civilians.

I also would like to meet the person who did NOT get bullied at some point in their lives. So why are there still people who deal with the random shit that life tends to dish out now and then without sneaking out the exit door?

But then we see entire high schools getting counseling when a cheerleader or quarterback dies in a car accident because pretty girls and successful athletes are not supposed to die. Because we all are entitled to be pretty, successful, and immortal according to the TV.

I think that what we expect of ourselves, others, and life in general determines whether we go uphill or downhill practically and psychologically.

Don't get me wrong, PTSD is for real and not just some modern-day excuse. The following personal experience changed my mind on that topic. After narrowly escaping a very bloody mass pile-up on the Autobahn, my hair would stand up involuntarily when I smelled burning rubber or a barbecue (i.e. burning meat). This clearly affected my brain and subconscious reactions for about 6 month BUT I never burdened myself with guilt about the fact that people next to me perished while I was granted an extension. My number will come up one day I hope nobody will feel unwarranted guilt about that either.

"I am who I am, people are who they are, and life is what it is for reasons that I do not need to fully understand right now" is a tough message to swallow sometimes but it will keep us from driving ourselves over the edge with guilt and feelings of inferiority or uselessness.

Or in the more elegant words of Barry Lopez: "How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in life, when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within oneself? If there is a stage at which an individual life becomes truly adult, it must be when one grasps the irony in its unfolding and accepts responsibility for a life lived in the midst of such paradox. One must live in the middle of contradiction, because if all contradiction were eliminated at once life would collapse. There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light."

 

[Maggot]

A word of caution to those claiming to have depression. Big Brother is reading this and I would hate for a good man to be deprived of weapons for engaging in an innocent conversation.

I considered this warning and shouldhave included it in my OP. Ive done that, thanks.

 

[alpine44]

I recently had a conversation with a hypnotherapist. I asked if he sees PTSD and other stress related patients. He said he did and business is better than ever, but he said something that I now think is profound.

"The human mind isn't designed for the modern world. It wasn't designed for the stresses of the business world, the entertainment world, driving, traffic, constant adrenaline, modern warfare, any of that stuff. We were designed, by God or Evolution, whichever is fine, to go out of the cave, whack a Mastodon and then kick back and relax. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less."

He has a ton of clients here in the Denver area, so maybe he's onto something....

Tell this to Steve Hawking who, while crippled by a progressive bitch of a disease, still pushes the bounds of human awareness. OTOH, if you start with the assumption that you are not equipped to deal with life, then do not be surprised if you find your assumption to be correct.

The ironic thing is that we still can keep life simple by paying less attention to what other's MIGHT think about us. Closing a business deal, solving a technical problem, inspiring a student, writing a book, wiping away a kid's tear, cooking a meal, finding the Higgs Boson, etc. is just as much fun as whacking a Mastodon and just as easy for us if we can enjoy the results with true partners, friends, and colleagues and stop obsessing about how we measure up to the Kardashians that used to be called "the Joneses".

It looks to me like the hypnotherapist cited above does not have the solution but is part of the problem of blaming something else for our self-inflicted inferiority complex. Also, his clients would not last one full day in a cave. The monsters of their self-victimizing personalities would eat them alive after dark.

 

[QuickNDirty]

The ironic thing is that we still can keep life that simple by paying less attention to what other's MIGHT think about us. Closing a business deal or solving an acute technical problem is just as much fun as whacking a Mastodon and just as easy for us if we can enjoy the results with true friends and colleagues and stop obsessing about how we measure up to the Kardashians that used to be called "the Joneses".

I agree. I was up til 4AM this morning finishing the development of a circuit which allows an externally powered USB port to be switched on and off via command, and an event system for notifying the host when a device is connected and disconnected (company wants to charge people to charge their phone in a taxi, wtf?)

I'm not an electrical engineer, never been to college for it, I suck a math (generally), but as I said before.. I'm a persistent little shit, and I got that fucker working. Now I'm going to print the PCB trace layout onto toner transfer paper, run that pressed onto a copper clad board through a laminator, dip the shit in ferric chloride, rinse it off, drill the holes, solder the components in place, repeat 49 more times, and make a lot of money off of it. Use that money to buy a 3D printer and a better electronics lab. I got this gig because of a choice I made about a year ago.

And that's on top of my ordinary job developing telephony software which is full of mastodons, and a few big fucking dinosaurs. I figured out how to whack them on my own, too.

I don't think any amount of pills could cure the suck of saying "Hello", "Did you find everything ok?", "That will be $xx.xx", "Have a nice day" 40 hours a week when you're 25+ years old.

As home dude said, depression is more of a sympton/effect. The disease is a massive deficiency in the things that make a man or woman value himself, and a wealth of things which detract from that value either necessarily (failing to fulfill obligations) or unnecessarily (failing to live up to the expectations of others). If they DID make a pill for that, I wouldn't take that shit for anything. I was there in both respects, but kept my nose to the grindstone instead of trying to find a way to make a shitty situation feel less shitty. Lots of 24-48 hour days with bullshit work, no food, and lots of studying/experimenting. I am a lot happier doing that than what I was doing before, which was the above minus the studying and experimenting.

The difference, of course, being the vision of the future.

What is the future going to be like if you're young and all you do with your time is sleep, eat, work a bullshit job you and everyone you work with hates, watch TV, shit, shower, watch TV, and sleep again? -> Obvious. It's going to be shitty. Even when I mixed college into that equation, I found it hard to see anything in my future that wasn't shitty, because college is bullshit.

What is the future going to be like if you only sleep on accident because the rest of your time is spent either working a bullshit job to fund the dedication of your life to something you love? -> Not obvious at all. There's mystery there. All you have is a vague idea of which directions things could go. It's exciting. Painful, unpleasant as fuck, but exciting. Kinda scary sometimes. So far it's going very well for me. No guarantees that this will be the case 5 years from now, but I like my odds, and I like not knowing that my life will suck 5 years from now. That is, I don't KNOW that my life will suck 5 years from now. It could, for sure, but it could also be pretty awesome. The uncertainty is comforting.

I suspect that had I stayed in college and kept trying to do what other people were telling me I should do, I wouldn't have a happy married home life, shoot as often, or eat as well as I do now, or have anywhere near as much fun. I rented a helicopter in puerto rico the other day to go check out some mountains and cities, ffs. Who does that shit?


The deal with Robin Williams? I dunno.. I have no idea what it's like to be where he was, or what was going on in his world, but I think if I was as accomplished as him, I would probably start building an empire rooted in future technologies. I dunno how people who get loaded can just sit on all that wealth and essentially live like any other poor fucker, just sitting on a (much fancier) couch watching (SUPER_DUPER_HD) TV all day, or going shopping (for really expensive shit), or doing other meaningless bullshit. I think if I were there, I'd be doing something like Jeff Bezos. That guy is moving mountains.

 

[orkan]

Just goes to show, money cannot buy happiness... yet that is the goal most people have in the front of their minds every day.

It's complete bullshit, and has led to the continued degradation of our society.

 

[Rhyno]

Just goes to show, money cannot buy happiness... yet that is the goal most people have in the front of their minds every day.

It's complete bullshit, and has led to the continued degradation of our society.

I would like someone to give me money so I can test this theory.

It might not buy happiness, but it would relieve stress and free up time.

 

[jrassy]

Anybody read Neal Donald Walsh, " Conversations with God series"? Might help put some things in perspective. You'll have to decide for yourself.

 

[Tengu]

Looks like most of the key points have been addressed. I normally don't comment on the internet, but it's an important subject.
I will add that if you are dealing with somebody who is mentally unstable/ill, and the possibility exists that suicide could be a plausible action taken. Then it should be remembered that the best way to usually help them is to be as neutral as possible. This serves an emotional anchor to measure themselves to.
It is inherently improbable to be happy all the time. Much less free from all anger or fear. But it is quite achievable to be calm in the face of life's calamities. This is more stable and much more achievable long term goal than "be happy all the time."
An observation of people's habits is that people dwell on their issues (real or imagined) more than they try to figure out the solution. Some personal examples would be:

-alcohol abuse
-self injury
-extreme isolation (both self induced and imposed)
-low self esteem
-negative/suicidal thoughts

Normally I don't share my troubled past, but I'm over that part of my life so sharing will hopefully help more people than any possibility of harm done to me.
Anyway, as previously stated. Learning the "why" behind it can be very beneficial, but more importantly is the "how." As in "How do I get past this?"
An example being "This person was sexually, emotionally, physically abused as a child by their father/cousins/mother insert perpetrator here." So this developed into a thought process of:

-Pain is comfort
-Pain is home
-Pain is love

Which could lead to self harm through substances, or physical self abuse (examples being cutting, intentionally getting hurt on everyday activities). While most often the case being is that the above is usually a habit developed by women, but men do "cross over." Men typically fight, or become aggressive.
Anyway, if self harm becomes a habit for coping with stress then the envelope will get pushed. This is called hedonic adaptation. Where the previous act doesn't hold the same value as before. Very much like an athlete trying to beat his record time. The difference being the athlete is learning and doing something positive. While the other is called a disorder.
Things are way more complex than this, but it'll give an laymen's view of the subject. Now if you focus on the "how." That's when we make real progress. There is a ton of little tricks you can do that add up over time. Take for example posture. Are you standing up straight? Is your chest out and head held high? If not then take note and fix it now. An example of numbers are an increase of testosterone as much as 15% in FIVE MIN! And a decrease in cortisol as much as 10%! Trust me...it's hard to be depressed when you feel like a million bucks. ;p so be proud and walk/stand with some dignity.
The next is out look. Is it positive or negative? Are you looking for things to be happy about, or get worked up over?
I was lucky enough to find a business women to talk to, and she said "I don't want to run from fear, or chase happiness. Happiness is right here, because everyday is a new day and an other journey. So instead of focusing on what makes you sad or depressed! Focus on what makes you happy."
I took it to heart and bought a guitar. Best fucking move in all my life! Hours of entertainment that calms and relaxes me. And does something else. It gives me a vehicle to express myself in a positive fashion.
It gives me great joy to sit down a play, and see the people's faces light up. I went from being an isolated loner to meeting new people on a regular basis with positive results. ;p

Blah blah blah I've talked to much. Also as a side note...don't spend so much time on the internet. It's not good for you, and further feeds the isolation. Human contact is usually essential to a healthy mind. so go outside and meet people.
Oh! And for fucks sake eat healthy!!!.....and big brother can go fuck himself on this one. there is great deal more that can be said but I will stop my rambling here. Here is to adventure and a new day.

 

[orkan]

but it would relieve stress and free up time.

Neither of those things require money to do.

Point in fact, a strong argument can be made that money will increase stress and take up more time.

That's the truth that people refuse to acknowledge. I talk to people all the time that refuse to understand that they are in control of their lives. They don't like where they live, but they won't move because of their job. They don't like their wife, but they won't get rid of her or straighten her ass out. They don't like how their kids behave, yet won't take corrective action. They don't like their job, but won't get a better one. On and on it goes.

Want to relieve stress? Do it. Decide you are going to do it, and go to work toward that end without thinking about the financial ramifications. Want to free up time? Do the same. Decide, and go to work toward that end. You're at the wheel, and can do what you want. Denial of this fact, and the reinforcement of the feeling of powerlessness in regard to your situation will ensure you keep spiraling down. Society at large has done its very best to encourage the very traits that will result in human failure, and discourage those traits that lead to human success and happiness.

Once you learn this, and deploy it in your daily life... it will ensure that if you do ever happen to find yourself in money, you'll be able to handle it. Without having that strong mental foundation, and the personal satisfaction and feeling of self confidence that is achieved by having structured your life to a degree that you are happy every day without money... money will only make a bad problem worse. I guarantee it.

 

[Maggot]

-Pain is comfort Human contact is usually essential to a healthy mind.


Oh! And for fucks sake eat healthy!!!.....and big brother can go fuck himself on this one. there is great deal more that can be said but I will stop my rambling here. Here is to adventure and a new day.

Great post. Thisi thread is doing exactly what I hoped it would. I know what you mean about "Pain is comfort." I was so numb, for so many years, that pain (especially physical) was welcomed because it was good to just fee SOMETHING.

Without having that strong mental foundation, and the personal satisfaction and feeling of self confidence that is achieved by having structured your life to a degree that you are happy every day without money... money will only make a bad problem worse. I guarantee it.

^This.

Not only will you make stupid decisions, which will further wreck your self esteem, once you piss away the money, you'll feel even worse.

 

[Mister Ridge]

I wonder if there has ever been a discussion about depression that did not involve some version of the phrase "money doesn't bring happiness."

 

[Rhyno]

I doubt it, and I still personally want to test the theory.