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Describe Your Work

I work for the Honey Do International LLC, I get the most enjoyable jobs, many of which I would never have thought of myself. My boss is smart, in the sense that she knows what I need to do before I do.

However the fringe benefits are pretty good.
 
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Sometimes hot, sometimes cold, sometimes dark, sometimes light, sometimes pitch black, sometimes shallow, sometimes deep, sometimes cool, sometimes not cool, sometimes dry, but most times wet. Been hit by lightning, submerged in shit, dodged hypodermics and needle pointed rebar, sucked into a dam, bailed at 100ft, smashed in the mud by nuke plant trash racks, drug by a sand barge...... I should quit

Fluffer spit bucket holder...
 
I am over paid for what I can do if the need arises, but for the most part, I don't do anything..........
 
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Exfiltration of masticatory components and maintenance/reconsolidation of supporting architecture along with booger picking
 
Where did you drive your bus? I may have been a passenger. Does " low drag" mean anything to you?
All over the US of A ...I know of parasitic and induced drag. I think I remember you...you had a 1911 in the small of your back as you boarded.😎
Where did you drive your bus? I may have been a passenger. Does " low drag" mean anything to you?
Where did you drive your bus? I may have been a passenger. Does " low drag" mean anything to you?
 
I work at in a company where i think i am the only conservative and drive a team of 100 engineers to deliver a fraud product that detects and protects against fraudulent purchases and account creation/login/activity for ecommerce customers. I help stop the bad bastards from fucking over the stupid bastards.
 
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I do also from time to time take the liquid squeezed from a cow, add bacteria and stomach goo to make it go stiff, then press it into blocks that people like to slice for sammiches
 
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I get paid to smoke cigars and BS with people.
 
I watch you tube videos and attend meetings. Every once in a while I change a chatbott to say things like "Have a nice day someplace else" and see if anyone notices.
 
I shape pots with my hands. My budget on house hunters was 2.3M. You might have seen the episode.
When I was 4 or 5, I wanted to be a pot maker.

The reason was because I had made my Grandma a ceramic ashtray in preschool.

The 80s were awesome, I bet thats frowned upon now.
 
I convince meth dealers/traffickers that I too am a meth dealer/trafficker while I have teeth and am about 20 lbs over weight.
 
Manually open and closed many valves, from 1/8” to those in excess of 24”. Involved with pressures from ounces to in excess of 48,000 psi. Handled liquids on a ph scale from, 14 to 0.3. Worked in gases with an explosive range 4.4% to 44% in normal atmosphere. These gases were also poisonous to breathe....at 1000 ppm, one breath would render you unconscious and without a rescue and resuscitation is fatal. I was in and around this gas at 82% concentration or 820,000 ppm. Often in temperatures ranging from a -20 F to around 115 F. Often in noise areas of approximately 120+ decibels. In spite of all this, I managed to survive and retire! 😉 I’been totally unaffected by these conditions! 🥴 memtb
 
I get home everyday covered in oil and rust, and I put about 80,000 miles on my truck every year. I’m not an instrumentation tech, a pipefitter, an electrician, a plumber, a mason, a sales rep, a consultant, or a demolition expert, but all of those things are in my job description. I have a FR suit, SO2/H2S meters, fall harnesses, mag drills, oxyacetylene torches, 4 different sized impact wrenches, and over 2k worth of pipe wrenches on my truck. I have crowsfeet from 1/4” to 3”, and almost never use metric wrenches.
 
I use to stir rivers of shit, and lasso turds.
Thats right, I was a cowboy...of sorts. I was OAF.
Now? I'm nurse maid to two boxer dogs, and when the weather breaks, I shall once again imbibe in the sport of kings, the game of idiots.

Work that riddle.

Shut up Lulu.
Turd burglar? Shit sheriff?
 
I get home everyday covered in oil and rust, and I put about 80,000 miles on my truck every year. I’m not an instrumentation tech, a pipefitter, an electrician, a plumber, a mason, a sales rep, a consultant, or a demolition expert, but all of those things are in my job description. I have a FR suit, SO2/H2S meters, fall harnesses, mag drills, oxyacetylene torches, 4 different sized impact wrenches, and over 2k worth of pipe wrenches on my truck. I have crowsfeet from 1/4” to 3”, and almost never use metric wrenches.
I used to wear SO2/H2S meters, I don’t really miss that.
 
I am a major cause of global warming . I contribute to deforestation of the planet (with all the paper work i do) I am reality. I tell people what they don't like to hear.
 
I use potential and kinetic energy to move heat energy away from people who are offended by it. Then sometimes (rarely) the offended people ask me to return said heat energy using potential and kinetic energy. I do this all using serious physics. And they pay me to do both. :)

Well to be more honest, nowadays I just tell my kids to do it for me. :)