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Maggie’s Funny & awesome pics, vids and memes thread (work safe, no nudity)

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Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?

Doctor : Let me tell you a story: "There was once a Hunter who always carried a gun wherever he went.

One day he took out his Umbrella instead of his Gun and went out. A Lion suddenly jumped in front of him. In order to scare the Lion, the Hunter used the Umbrella like a Gun, and shot the Lion, then it died!

Guy : Nonsense! Someone else must have shot the Lion..

Doctor : Good! You understood the story. Next patient please.
 



Story time......and yea, it was me.

Years ago we lived in town. I had two Fiat X 1/9's (don't judge) One was a parts car, the other the runner. I was stripping the parts car and had it out in the driveway. It still looked like a runner at the time, wheels, glass, doors trunk hood.....everything there but the engine and transmission. Down the street a bit was a little busy body. Always sticking her nose in other peoples business. Now I don't know for sure she called the cops on my, but they showed up. Asks is this a non running car, yea. You can't keep it here. Well I am getting some parts off of it then it will go, how long do I have before I get a ticket. 30 days. Cool it will be gone long before that. Ok have a nice day.

That evening a plan hatched in my evil little mind. I went to work the next day. Wheels off, glass out, doors off, inside stripped, nothing but the shell, about like above photo. It was laying on the "frame" on the driveway.

That next weekend the little busy body comes down.....she in a very polite manner asks about the car and how things are going. Oh just great, you know someone complained about the car sitting here. I only needed the engine and transmission out of this thing, but after that person reported me to the police and they told me I have 30 days from the date of the report to have it gone. So I decided to strip it clean and let it sit for 29 days. Just think if that busy body had not reported me the car would be gone by now, now it will sit.

She just looked at me, and told me good luck with the car.

Cops came by the next weekend, asked about the car and I told them the truth. He just smiled and said have fun.

Don't fuck with me, and told me I don't belong living in town.

Now in my "yard" I have one dead tractor, two cars, a pickup, in my barn is another car, the hood of a car I don't own anymore, along with a transmission I have no idea where it came from.

There is a reason we live in the country, we like it that way.
 


Story time......and yea, it was me.

Years ago we lived in town. I had two Fiat X 1/9's (don't judge) One was a parts car, the other the runner. I was stripping the parts car and had it out in the driveway. It still looked like a runner at the time, wheels, glass, doors trunk hood.....everything there but the engine and transmission. Down the street a bit was a little busy body. Always sticking her nose in other peoples business. Now I don't know for sure she called the cops on my, but they showed up. Asks is this a non running car, yea. You can't keep it here. Well I am getting some parts off of it then it will go, how long do I have before I get a ticket. 30 days. Cool it will be gone long before that. Ok have a nice day.

That evening a plan hatched in my evil little mind. I went to work the next day. Wheels off, glass out, doors off, inside stripped, nothing but the shell, about like above photo. It was laying on the "frame" on the driveway.

That next weekend the little busy body comes down.....she in a very polite manner asks about the car and how things are going. Oh just great, you know someone complained about the car sitting here. I only needed the engine and transmission out of this thing, but after that person reported me to the police and they told me I have 30 days from the date of the report to have it gone. So I decided to strip it clean and let it sit for 29 days. Just think if that busy body had not reported me the car would be gone by now, now it will sit.

She just looked at me, and told me good luck with the car.

Cops came by the next weekend, asked about the car and I told them the truth. He just smiled and said have fun.

Don't fuck with me, and told me I don't belong living in town.

Now in my "yard" I have one dead tractor, two cars, a pickup, in my barn is another car, the hood of a car I don't own anymore, along with a transmission I have no idea where it came from.

There is a reason we live in the country, we like it that way.


And remember. There are two kinds of people in the world.
So if you aren't one kind, then you are the other.
 
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Saw this on Primary Arm’s Memorial Day sale page

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…and of course had to make a meme for you ungrateful peasants:

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Actually though, I have one of their 3X SLX micro prisms on my PCC, and actually like it a lot…that 5X could be nice.