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Maggie’s Funny & awesome pics, vids and memes thread (work safe, no nudity)

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No joke, I witnessed two girls all but die strapped to one of those things. Gale blew up and they were trying to wench them in a little way down the beach. The rope broke and in three seconds they were snatched up and into the top of a high condo building behind us. They hit twice and looked limp as the wind snatched em over the top of the building, into some power lines and on top of a car In the parking lot. Both were hospitalized but one had to stay for a long time with massive head and other injuries. I and mine will NEVER strap into a parasail.
 
A maid asked for a pay increase.
The wife was very upset about this and asked: "Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?"
Maria: "Well Senora, there are three reasons I want an increase. The first is that I iron better than you."
Wife: "...Who said you iron better than I?"
Maria: "Your husband said so."
Wife: "Oh."
Maria: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."
Wife: "Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than I?"
Maria: "Your husband did."
Wife: "Oh."
Maria: "The third reason is that I am a better lover than you."
Wife (really furious now): "Did my husband say that as well?"
Maria: "No Senora, the gardener did."
She got her raise.
iu
 
For those with no access to quaaludes, those were called "Leg Spreaders", too.

Bartles and Jaymes and submarine races...

Cheers,

Sirhr
Never heard them referred to that............had a buddy decades ago when we were young , made a punch mixture with Grain Alcohol, that he called, "Panty Peelers".........
Always worked..........
 
The judge's reaction at the end is priceless! Don't matter how long you've been a judge and think you've seen it all. There's always a surprise. :D



Just wait, there will be witnesses testifying while sitting on the toilet in the future. You folks heard it first, right here on SH!
 
Just wait, there will be witnesses testifying while sitting on the toilet in the future. You folks heard it first, right here on SH!
I was the court officer at my barracks.

Due to COVID all our hearings were via zoom - insert clown picture here.

Never knew what was going to come on screen. One was a dude in his bathroom showering.

Some people are animals. Few give a shit anymore.
 
No joke, I witnessed two girls all but die strapped to one of those things. Gale blew up and they were trying to wench them in a little way down the beach. The rope broke and in three seconds they were snatched up and into the top of a high condo building behind us. They hit twice and looked limp as the wind snatched em over the top of the building, into some power lines and on top of a car In the parking lot. Both were hospitalized but one had to stay for a long time with massive head and other injuries. I and mine will NEVER strap into a parasail.
I saw one about ten years ago where a guy was parasailing not far off a beach and a low flying jet coming in for a landing snagged his chute and carried him off.

The camera guy videoing it lost him and people were pointing at the passing jet and it showed the parasailer dropping free when they were back over land. No way he could have survived.
 
I saw one about ten years ago where a guy was parasailing not far off a beach and a low flying jet coming in for a landing snagged his chute and carried him off.

The camera guy videoing it lost him and people were pointing at the passing jet and it showed the parasailer dropping free when they were back over land. No way he could have survived.


The people that shot this video must have been very close to where we were sitting. The girls had already hit the building once and this is the second impact. Can’t see in this footage, but there were a couple of people on the balcony that tried to grab them but thought better of it.
 
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