• Winner! Quick Shot Challenge: What’s the dumbest shooting myth you’ve heard?

    View thread

Maggie’s Love letters to Oprah

Foul Mike

Gunny Sergeant
Full Member
Minuteman
Apr 18, 2001
3,082
4,909
Eastern Colorado
Some of you may be aware that I have sent bi-monthly, at the very least, Love Letters to Oprah for over 30 years. That ain't working out too well for me. I don't think she loves me.
I don't want a Buick, Oprah My Dear, I want a Helicopter. Keep your Buicks unless you want me to have one to drive to the hanger and back, that would be cool.
I have pledged my undying Love, various carnal delights and antything else she wants, Just buy me a goddamn helicopter. Free rides for you, Oprah my Dear. Fasten your seat belt or cargo net whatever fits.
Since it isn't working for me after all of these years I feel free to expound on one of her trips to her Shrink.

Oprah went in to see her shrink and he asked all of the questions as to how she was doing etc. and she said everything was fine other than FM on her ass about a helicopter and he is just some Rednecked Hippie who has been bothering her for years

The shrink told her to take off all of her clothes and get on all four against the wall under the window.

She did that but then asked the Shrink if that would help rid her of her problems and "Why do I need to be naked?

He told her to crawl over next to his desk and repose there, and she did, then he had her crawl over against the far wall. All the while rubbing his chin and giving it a Hmmm.

She finally asked why she needed to be naked and how was this going to help her be rid of her problems?

The Shrink told her,"It has nothing to do with that, I am just getting a new black leather couch and wanted to know where it would fit best."

Boom, there goes my Helicopter. FM

Merry Christmas to all FM
 
Could you afford to keep a helicopter if someone gave you one for free?

I think the real question is, can he afford to OPERATE it. Parking it on the ramp doesn't cost much, if anything. Registering, insurance, maintenance, annuals, and fuel expenses would eat him alive, unless Oprah included enough cash for all of that as well!
 
  • Like
Reactions: W54/XM-388
Boys, FM is just in his post holiday binge stupor and a tad delusional right now. Perhaps it was the wild winds of 60+ shaking his house last night? Yes we love him. And yes we question some of his affections.

FM, hope you are well. Rolled through your AO last night around 2100 with a quick stop at the Cenex right of the freeway and then hammer down. Want to get home, unloaded, and to bed at a decent time.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Barneybdb and 1J04
yep, no helichoper for you buddy


Ah C'mon. It'd be cute....... :ROFLMAO:
1543200892433.png
 
Big quonset at the farm, son is a pilot, deduct all expenses from the farm so it might just work. Sure as hell have lots of other expenses and make very little money so what is a bunch more?
Now, Oprah my dear, Come on Down, and the Old hippie will go on down among other things you guys can only imagine.
After all of these years of her boffing off my Love Letters I have come to the conclusion that my air time is reduced to Christmas Eve and when my son takes pity on me and lets me ride the right seat.
Woe is me. FM
If she wants to ride along it will have to be a heavy lift bird.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Barneybdb
powdahound, Next time you come through, go on in towards town about 1/2 to 3/4 mile to the Sinclair station on the south side of the road.
Save about 20 cents a gallon and run by a shooter family. Good people. No snacks but you can stop by ripoff Cenex for that.
If you are eastbound you can see the short 600 yd range off to the east just before you come to the exit. FM
 
  • Like
Reactions: Barneybdb
Thanks for the tip FM. I bring my own grub, saves me $ and I can't eat that gas station crap. Ruins my gut. I run on real food, not processed crap full of God only knows what.
I always see the range, always tell my brother about it. Now he tells me that "FM who was in Vietnams lives here and that is the LCSC". At least I know he listens.....
 
  • Like
Reactions: Barneybdb