One afternoon a bartender is alone in his bar, reading the paper and waiting for the rush of factory workers at the end of their shift when his young son bursts through the door with a box in his hand.
"Dad, look what I found!"
The bartender looks in the box to see a turtle about the size of his hand. "Dad, can I keep it? I promise I'll take care of it!"
The bartender says, "Let me think about it son. For now I'll keep the turtle here and we can talk about it later." At that the kid says "Ok dad, I'll see you later!" and runs out the door to play with his friends.
The bartender looks at the turtle, shakes his head and puts the box with the turtle in it on the bar.
A couple of minutes later a drunk stumbles into the bar, sits down and says, "Jack Daniels please".
The bartender looks up from his newpaper and says, "You're already drunk and I don't serve drunks. Hit the road."
The drunk says, "Sir, I'm not as think as you drunk I am, but may I sit here for a minute before I go?"
The bartender nods and says, "Yeah, you have five minutes, then you're outta here."
The drunk takes a look around the room and notices 3 dart boards on the back wall of the bar, 30 feet away. He asks the bartender, "Do you play darts here?".
The bartender looks at him impatiently and answers, "Hence the dartboards. When the factory guys get here they'll play for hours. Now it's time for you to hit the road."
The drunk says, "I'll make you a deal. Give me one dart, and if I can throw a bullseye in the middle dartboard from this barstool you'll serve me a Jack Daniels, but if I miss I'll leave without another word."
The bartender, sensing a quick exit for the drunk immediately says "Deal!", and reaches under the bar, pulls out a dart and sets it on the bar in front of the drunk.
Quick as lightning the drunk picks up the dart, spins around on the barstool and fires a perfect bullseye in the middle dartboard.
The bartender is shocked and disappointed, but being a man of his word he sets the drunk up with a Jack. After the drunk slams the JD down the bartender says, "Alright, you've had your drink, time for you to go."
As the drunk stands up and takes a couple of steps towards the door the bartender notices the box with the turtle in it. "Wait!" says the bartender to the drunk. "That shot was so remarkable that I have a prize for you!", grabs the box with the turtle in it and hands it to the drunk.
The drunk takes the box and happily stumbles out of the bar.......
One year to the day later the bartender is alone in his bar in the afternoon when a drunk stumbles in, sits down at the bar and asks for a Jack Daniels.
The bartender looks at him and says, "You're already drunk and I don't serve drunks. Get outta here."
The drunk looks at him and says, "You don't remember me, do you?"
The bartender looks hard at the guy and says, "No, I don't. Why should I?"
The drunk says, "About a year ago I came in here and you wouldn't give me a drink, but we made a deal that if I could throw a bullseye in that middle dartboard you'd give me a drink."
The bartender says, "I remember you now! That was a miracle shot, for sure."
The drunk says, "Same deal today?"
The bartender says, "Of course, lightning doesn't strike the same place twice", reaches under the bar and sets a dart on the bar in front of the drunk.
Quick as lightning the drunk picks up the dart, wheels around on the barstool and fires a perfect strike into the bullseye of the middle dartboard.
The bartender can't believe it, but being a man of his word he sets the drunk up with a JD.
The drunk downs the JD and the bartender says, "Now get outta here, and don't ever come back!"
The drunk says, "What about my prize?"
The bartender says, "What prize?"
"Last time you gave me a prize", says the drunk.
"I don't remember giving you a prize", says the bartender. "What did I give you?"
The drunk says happily, "You gave me a roast beef on a hard roll!"
"Dad, look what I found!"
The bartender looks in the box to see a turtle about the size of his hand. "Dad, can I keep it? I promise I'll take care of it!"
The bartender says, "Let me think about it son. For now I'll keep the turtle here and we can talk about it later." At that the kid says "Ok dad, I'll see you later!" and runs out the door to play with his friends.
The bartender looks at the turtle, shakes his head and puts the box with the turtle in it on the bar.
A couple of minutes later a drunk stumbles into the bar, sits down and says, "Jack Daniels please".
The bartender looks up from his newpaper and says, "You're already drunk and I don't serve drunks. Hit the road."
The drunk says, "Sir, I'm not as think as you drunk I am, but may I sit here for a minute before I go?"
The bartender nods and says, "Yeah, you have five minutes, then you're outta here."
The drunk takes a look around the room and notices 3 dart boards on the back wall of the bar, 30 feet away. He asks the bartender, "Do you play darts here?".
The bartender looks at him impatiently and answers, "Hence the dartboards. When the factory guys get here they'll play for hours. Now it's time for you to hit the road."
The drunk says, "I'll make you a deal. Give me one dart, and if I can throw a bullseye in the middle dartboard from this barstool you'll serve me a Jack Daniels, but if I miss I'll leave without another word."
The bartender, sensing a quick exit for the drunk immediately says "Deal!", and reaches under the bar, pulls out a dart and sets it on the bar in front of the drunk.
Quick as lightning the drunk picks up the dart, spins around on the barstool and fires a perfect bullseye in the middle dartboard.
The bartender is shocked and disappointed, but being a man of his word he sets the drunk up with a Jack. After the drunk slams the JD down the bartender says, "Alright, you've had your drink, time for you to go."
As the drunk stands up and takes a couple of steps towards the door the bartender notices the box with the turtle in it. "Wait!" says the bartender to the drunk. "That shot was so remarkable that I have a prize for you!", grabs the box with the turtle in it and hands it to the drunk.
The drunk takes the box and happily stumbles out of the bar.......
One year to the day later the bartender is alone in his bar in the afternoon when a drunk stumbles in, sits down at the bar and asks for a Jack Daniels.
The bartender looks at him and says, "You're already drunk and I don't serve drunks. Get outta here."
The drunk looks at him and says, "You don't remember me, do you?"
The bartender looks hard at the guy and says, "No, I don't. Why should I?"
The drunk says, "About a year ago I came in here and you wouldn't give me a drink, but we made a deal that if I could throw a bullseye in that middle dartboard you'd give me a drink."
The bartender says, "I remember you now! That was a miracle shot, for sure."
The drunk says, "Same deal today?"
The bartender says, "Of course, lightning doesn't strike the same place twice", reaches under the bar and sets a dart on the bar in front of the drunk.
Quick as lightning the drunk picks up the dart, wheels around on the barstool and fires a perfect strike into the bullseye of the middle dartboard.
The bartender can't believe it, but being a man of his word he sets the drunk up with a JD.
The drunk downs the JD and the bartender says, "Now get outta here, and don't ever come back!"
The drunk says, "What about my prize?"
The bartender says, "What prize?"
"Last time you gave me a prize", says the drunk.
"I don't remember giving you a prize", says the bartender. "What did I give you?"
The drunk says happily, "You gave me a roast beef on a hard roll!"
