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Near death experiences

Gray Squirrel

Protect the nuts.
Full Member
Minuteman
Jun 30, 2012
110
47
North TX
If you've been alive long enough, you've had a brush with death at least once, possibly a couple of times.

Lets hear them.


I got caught on top of a mountain (at about 14,000 feet) in the Colorado Rockies above the treeline during a pretty wicked lightning storm. It's pretty hairy knowing you're basically a meat-based lightning rod. I have never felt or seen lightning and thunder like that. As a point of reference, the treeline is at 11,000-12,000 feet on average in the Rockies. Mad dash down a mountain side trying to find cover. One of the few times in my life I was actually scared for my life.

I also got shot at during a foot chase after a driver bailed out of a stolen car. He was a horrible shot...clearly.

I've also had my fair share during deployments, but that's par for the course for overseas shenanigans.
 
Too many to count. Now is that because I'm left-handed, or born on Friday the 13th? Or possibly some other reason....

I'm waiting for all the "This one time at Band Camp...." stories!
 
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I used to be a commercial pilot (private aircraft), and had many, many close calls. One memorable one was getting caught in a hellacious thunderstorm somewhere near Cuba. I honestly thought we were going down, lightning all around us making night into day. And as often happened, Havana Control completely ignored our pleas for assistance as soon as they realized we were gringos.
 
I used to be a commercial pilot (private aircraft), and had many, many close calls. One memorable one was getting caught in a hellacious thunderstorm somewhere near Cuba. I honestly thought we were going down, lightning all around us making night into day. And as often happened, Havana Control completely ignored our pleas for assistance as soon as they realized we were gringos.


My father was a pilot with TWA and I grew up on DC3's and Maritn 404's. He was telling me a very similar story about being in a massive thunderstorm having balls of electricity rolling around the instrument cluster. I asked him "Well what did you do?" His reply was classic..."There was nothing I could do so I sat back and enjoyed the light show." I loved that old man.

Ive had a couple of NDE's one from drinking so much I actully felt my spirit leaving my body wo I reached up and grabbed it and said "No way". Strange, yes, but Im still here.
 
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Once upon a time at CRW camp.... We were running a Canopy Relative Work clinic at my DZ.
We got everyone's CRW canopies and swapped some rigs around so we could get a bunch of newbs up and at least building stacks.

I was jumping my own gear for most of the camp with no issues but on day 2 we got a guy in that was too small for one rig, too big for another so I gave him mine and i borrowed someone else's rig.
The guy i borrowed from was a couple inches taller than me, no big deal right?

I got out and open no problems at 14500...pinned a buddy by 13000 to get a stack going. He worked down the lines, hooked onto my slider and my hands started getting numb. I told him I was going to drop my toggles for a minute, he said OK....next thing I remember He was dropping me on final approach to the dz at about 75ft!

Best we can figure is the main lift web of the harness was just too big enough to cut off my carotid artery and it put me out cold. Buddy shook the hell out of me and kept me pinned all the way down and back to the DZ...told me later he was sure I was dead until I started to come to on final approach.

That's probably my most colorful one..
 
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Well, it's not a near.

I had have neck surgery done bc of an accident. Long story short. Dr was out giving an update to my wife when something happened (they wouldn't say what) when I bit through my breathing tube. I died and they brought me back. Then they had to dig out the breathing tube.

Not sure what you consider near.
 
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Once upon a time at CRW camp.... We were running a Canopy Relative Work clinic at my DZ.
We got everyone's CRW canopies and swapped some rigs around so we could get a bunch of newbs up and at least building stacks.

I was jumping my own gear for most of the camp with no issues but on day 2 we got a guy in that was too small for one rig, too big for another so I gave him mine and i borrowed someone else's rig.
The guy i borrowed from was a couple inches taller than me, no big deal right?

I got out and open no problems at 14500...pinned a buddy by 13000 to get a stack going. He worked down the lines, hooked onto my slider and my hands started getting numb. I told him I was going to drop my toggles for a minute, he said OK....next thing I remember He was dropping me on final approach to the dz at about 75ft!

Best we can figure is the main lift web of the harness was just too big enough to cut off my carotid artery and it put me out cold. Buddy shook the hell out of me and kept me pinned all the way down and back to the DZ...told me later he was sure I was dead until I started to come to on final approach.

That's probably my most colorful one..


how many jumps do you got ...thru the Apex?

btw savvy my avatar
 
There we were. It was deer season. I was young and had dreams of being an African safari guide when I grew up. I invited some boys from school to come hunting at our place. I was going to "guide" them onto some B&C candidates. They were both from wealthy families. One kid had a custom 280 Rem on a pre 64 action. The other had a spankin' 7mm mag. Not to be outdone I pulled Dads .300 Weatherby V out of the cabinet and headed out. When we got back to the house without killing anything, Dad met us on the porch. I was unable to sneak the Weatherby back into the house. It looks quite different from a 30-40 Krag I normally used. The last think I remember is my dad saying . "That's my fucking Weatherby." I woke up later on the porch after an undetermined amount of time. My friends were gone. I did not walk into the light even though it was so peaceful. My first brush, with death was over. My second happened when I took Dads Sunbeam Tiger out on the town without asking, but that's another story.
 
If you've been alive long enough, you've had a brush with death at least once, possibly a couple of times.

Lets hear them.


I got caught on top of a mountain (at about 14,000 feet) in the Colorado Rockies above the treeline during a pretty wicked lightning storm. It's pretty hairy knowing you're basically a meat-based lightning rod. I have never felt or seen lightning and thunder like that. As a point of reference, the treeline is at 11,000-12,000 feet on average in the Rockies. Mad dash down a mountain side trying to find cover. One of the few times in my life I was actually scared for my life.

I also got shot at during a foot chase after a driver bailed out of a stolen car. He was a horrible shot...clearly.

I've also had my fair share during deployments, but that's par for the course for overseas shenanigans.


Caught in a flash flood in a car.
Shot (angry customer)
Stabbed (drunken bar patron)
Burst appendix (sepsis and lost a foot of intestine)
Meningitis (five days before medical care administered)
Put a car in a creek at 60 MPH backwards (15 years old and drunk)
 
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Had a heart attack on the Harley one night......blacked out, fell off, woke up with the EMT's face down in the gravel on the shoulder.......just a little scuffed up......
 
I'm having one right now. The shrimp are insanely HOT. Damned smartass southern Indians trying to flame me out.

D0n3SYC.jpg
 
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There I was hanging 150' on the end of an umbilica, cold cutting a 3" gas lift riser in the Gulf of Mexico. The cut was being made in a ditch about 10' below natural bottom and a couple foot above the 90° in the pipeline. During the final moments of the cut lateral tension due to an above riser clamp caused the pipeline to shear in half unexpectingly springing my direction and effectively knocking my dick in the dirt.

My face, the regulator, and bent tube on my superlite 27 dive hat took the brunt of the impact. Leaving me temporarily without breathing gas, a mouth full of busted teeth, and experiencing vertigo. Luckily I remained conscious and cognizant enough of the situation to open my free flow valve and notify topside of the situation to abort the dive.

Lots of other close calls involving crane ops and other shenanigans but this incident stands out most notably.

Ill try to post a picture from a different job for a bit of context.
 

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On a crotch rocket a few moons ago.
Took it out to the service road, old section of 66 btw, about 2 miles south of town it starts to rain large drops sparsely.
Turn around and hammer down.
Entered the turn around 100 or so.
Those drops mixed with the road dust.
Lost bite and was next to the edge of the road.
Thought I'd shut it down in the my bud's field.
Fence angles more than I though.
I remember about 10 feet before the sudden stop.
Dunno how long I was out.
Walked back to town gas station.
Well built fence.

R
 
I got caught on top of a mountain (at about 14,000 feet) in the Colorado Rockies above the treeline during a pretty wicked lightning storm. It's pretty hairy knowing you're basically a meat-based lightning rod. I have never felt or seen lightning and thunder like that. As a point of reference, the treeline is at 11,000-12,000 feet on average in the Rockies. Mad dash down a mountain side trying to find cover. One of the few times in my life I was actually scared for my life..

Try being on top peak of the roof of a metal barn covering things up.
Look up at the storm overhead and see a lighting bolt come straight down at you and hear the thunder at the exact same moment

Apparently slightly lower metal lamp posts are more attractive to lightning rather than slightly higher humans right near by.
 
Try being on top peak of the roof of a metal barn covering things up.
Look up at the storm overhead and see a lighting bolt come straight down at you and hear the thunder at the exact same moment

Apparently slightly lower metal lamp posts are more attractive to lightning rather than slightly higher humans right near by.

Good thing it didn't hit you. The coroner would have sworn off brownies forever after he hauled your jeans down to do the postmortem.
 
Good thing it didn't hit you. The coroner would have sworn off brownies forever after he hauled your jeans down to do the postmortem.

If that had been the time the great intelligence chose to reap me, it was actually in a place and time where there never would have been a coroner or records... just a couple fellow workers digging a hole in a field...
 
So many but the one that freaked my out lately was a bullet that pass very very close to me ears, I hear the crack sound. It was the scariest sound ever, tops my wife’s snoring ?
 
I was bass fishing with my father. Whacking some smallmouths really good tossing Zara Spooks at Lake Saint Clair. A storm was brewing but the fish were biting and we know how that goes..... we waited a little to long and I looked out at my fishing line, it literally jumped off the water and hovered 3" from the static buildup. Talk about a close call. I literally could feel the electricity in the air. No lightning bolt though.

Also got strung out 5 miles from shore in a bassboat late Fall on Lake Erie, in 40 degree temperatures. The wind changed directions and 1footers turned to 6 footers in less than an hour. Both bilge pumps going full tilt and my little 18foot Skeeter was still taking on water. White caps busting over the bow into the boat and the motor acting like it was struggling to keep from sucking water into the intake on the downsides of the waves. Had that motor quit I surely would have died of hypothermia, as the boat would have swamped itself over the stern instantly. Got to the ramp and water was at the seats. This was one of those "I'm going to start going to Church" experiences.
 
Try being on top peak of the roof of a metal barn covering things up.
Look up at the storm overhead and see a lighting bolt come straight down at you and hear the thunder at the exact same moment

Apparently slightly lower metal lamp posts are more attractive to lightning rather than slightly higher humans right near by.
Been there, done that. Also some man made versions of the same story caused by inattentive lift operators and power lines. I've had a lift tip onto two wheels a few times above 50', thats no fun. Also got catapulted out of a lift but only 12' up. Lots of nasty ladder stories, gone through a lot of roofs, owe a lot to my harness even though the soft stop failed once. Jacked up many houses and barns to replace foundations, that can get scary. Had a crows nest floor go tits up on a 60' silo, had a silo unloader cable explode the tripod pulley while I was hanging under the tripod trying to fix it. And thats just my current job, the treeclimbing job stained a lot of underwear.
 
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I'm having one right now. The shrimp are insanely HOT. Damned smartass southern Indians trying to flame me out.

D0n3SYC.jpg
First trip to India , landed in Madras , before heading up to the sporty
north western border region for work . Had a Madras curry that literally
made me think I was gonna die . ( First mistake ) Then walked over the
street to the beach and had a cup of sugar cane juice from a cane grinder
on the beach ( second mistake ) .

What followed over the next 7 days was the most epic gut cramps and
dysentery and vomiting I’ve ever experienced . Had an associate
call the local embassy contact , and send a nurse to put me on an IV ,
by the second day. I couldn’t even keep bottled water down .

Hundreds of near death experiences followed up north : bad parachute
jumps , contacts , ridiculous subzero tempaatures , driving roads unsuitable
for goat movements let alone vehicles , but that first week fucked up in bed
in a shitty hotel was somehow worse ....
 
So many times.... I was putting the wood to this little filly in the upper floor of a two story farm house, all was good until the lights of a car coming up the drive appeared. Suddenly the moans of ecstasy were filled with shreicks of horror as my horizontally pinned sweetie grasped what was about to befall us. Needless to say what I thought were throws of sexual ecstasy related to my sexual prowess, were her attempts to get me " the fuck off her" as she stated repeatedly. Funny how I didn't hear that.

Anyway, there I was, there the situation was, it was agreed between us, that I was going to jump out the two story bedroom window. Such an agreement transpires after hastily jumping out of bed, excitedly demonstrating to each other total upheaval on what to do, and a final push out the window, by her. Me, being the total gentleman I am departed said window, pants still around ankles. I survived the fall and cursed my mini me for getting me into this situation , alas that curse fell on deaf ears as I have suffered over the years with "him" as my copilot.
 
First trip to India , landed in Madras , before heading up to the sporty
north western border region for work . Had a Madras curry that literally
made me think I was gonna die . ( First mistake ) Then walked over the
street to the beach and had a cup of sugar cane juice from a cane grinder
on the beach ( second mistake ) .

What followed over the next 7 days was the most epic gut cramps and
dysentery and vomiting I’ve ever experienced . Had an associate
call the local embassy contact , and send a nurse to put me on an IV ,
by the second day. I couldn’t even keep bottled water down .

Hundreds of near death experiences followed up north : bad parachute
jumps , contacts , ridiculous subzero tempaatures , driving roads unsuitable
for goat movements let alone vehicles , but that first week fucked up in bed
in a shitty hotel was somehow worse ....


I've heard that referred to as the "Delhi Belly". I knew a couple of guys that went to India and had a similar experience. That's what they called it.
 
Too many to count. Now is that because I'm left-handed, or born on Friday the 13th? Or possibly some other reason....

I'm waiting for all the "This one time at Band Camp...." stories!
Great....you stole my thunder. No story about that French horn for you!

All my stories involve lightning. It has a strange affinity for the Chikn.
When I hear thunder I dig a hole.
 
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As s kid I once drowned in a pool. My heart stopped for two minutes but here I’m drinking scotch and reading through this thread
 
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Guy next to me on the window seat in a deuce and a half took at round in the head. Near as I can figure he moved his head forward and tilted just enough that the bullet went under lip of his helmet.

It was a mess, and it took me what seemed like an eternity to figure out what just happened. Then it got much more heated...

It took awhile to realize that just a few inches in any other direction, it would have been me; there were other more pressing concerns obviously.

Looking back 30 years, it seems like yesterday.

I still remember the Chief saving to me “That’s why you never volunteer...” (We weren’t going to save a school or church, etc.)

Anyway....
 
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My father was a pilot with TWA and I grew up on DC3's and Maritn 404's. He was telling me a very similar story about being in a massive thunderstorm having balls of electricity rolling around the instrument cluster. I asked him "Well what did you do?" His reply was classic..."There was nothing I could do so I sat back and enjoyed the light show." I loved that old man.

Ive had a couple of NDE's one from drinking so much I actully felt my spirit leaving my body wo I reached up and grabbed it and said "No way". Strange, yes, but Im still here.


oh get the hell out of here, you reached up and grabbed your soul???
pics or it didnt happen
 
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oh get the hell out of here, you reached up and grabbed your soul???
pics or it didnt happen

Didnt happe to have the camera aimed at that time, LOL. As strange as it sounds, its a true story. I have no explanation. Maybe it came from having stood on top of the Great Pyramid at Giza as a kid. Ive had lots of this type of experience.
 
Bailed out of my kayak, got swept under a rock, came up for air but there was only rock, swam alot more. Rock was about 30ft long in a not so calm part of the river. Made for a long day as it was the first rapid.
 
Parachute malfunctions are always fun. Only had to use the reserve twice.
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Ya there fun sometimes and when you get past the 1st dozen they get smoother...LOL . I remember one when I was skysurfing and exited behind a tandem master and his passenger . I caught-up to them pretty fast on there fall speed after he threw the Drogue and we were within about 100 yrd. of each other falling relative . His passenger was just staring down at the ground in a normal brain locked gaze . But the TM and I made eye contact and being that a tandem masters life is pretty monotonous boring doing meat bombs all day till dark, and getting puked-on at least once a month . I started showing off to entertain him with doing some layouts and spins . When I had one side of my release system cut-away break on the rear foot-harness on the board . So I immediately was pulled into a horrifically fast accelerating simultaneous twisting and flat spin, that had me stretched-out and had a good fight going on with pulling some pretty high G's in a non desirable body position .
So when in doubt, get something out. and that is first priority over-riding all . So I muscled my arm and hand to my BOC and pulled-out my pilot chute and deployed my main canopy . and as I was done with that I reached down a cut-away my board from the remaining harnessed foot . But in the flat-spin in freefall, my terminal fall speed must have accelerated pretty fast also with the flat spin shitty body position put on the harness container and opening speed was much higher than the Main canopy could structurally handle and was TSO rated . When my Main canopy deployed and it set line-stretch and bottom skin inflation, it just blew, shredded straight threw bottom and top skin separating for a nice big window view of blue sky threw the center cells for me with a couple three of canopy lines waving .
And again you say to yourself "wtf" and I was now in a spinning canopy Mal. with my Main a wad of nylon above . So once again, when in doubt, get something out and pulled the Reserve and it opened sweet but had a few line twists to kick out of, and landed nice in a residential area . I get ride back to the DZ latter . Seeing the tandem master laughing his ass off, as I did make for some pretty good visual entertainment for his normal boring work jump .
.