Re: One Liners
If your brain was dynamite, you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose..
If you had as many dicks sticking out of you as you have had stuck in you you would look like a porcupine.
If your brain was dynamite, you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose..
If you had as many dicks sticking out of you as you have had stuck in you you would look like a porcupine.
Re: One Liners
Just remember, "It's never as bad as it seems; but it's always worse than it looks."
Just remember, "It's never as bad as it seems; but it's always worse than it looks."
Re: One Liners
On the great cruise ship of life, he is having trouble getting his deck chair unfolded.
On the great cruise ship of life, he is having trouble getting his deck chair unfolded.
Re: One Liners
Well, ain't that slicker than a minner's (<span style="font-style: italic">minnow's</span> for you non-southerners) peter?
Well, ain't that slicker than a minner's (<span style="font-style: italic">minnow's</span> for you non-southerners) peter?
Re: One Liners
You got three brain cells, when one works the other two clap.
She's so ugly she has to sneak up on a glass of water.
He was shaking like a dog shitting peach pits.
You got three brain cells, when one works the other two clap.
She's so ugly she has to sneak up on a glass of water.
He was shaking like a dog shitting peach pits.
Re: One Liners
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kinsman</div><div class="ubbcode-body">If you had as many dicks sticking out of you as you have had stuck in you you would look like a porcupine.
</div></div>
Reminds me of this: The difference between a Porsche and a porcupine is that the pricks are on the outside of a porcupine!
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kinsman</div><div class="ubbcode-body">If you had as many dicks sticking out of you as you have had stuck in you you would look like a porcupine.
</div></div>
Reminds me of this: The difference between a Porsche and a porcupine is that the pricks are on the outside of a porcupine!
Re: One Liners
That boy is about as sharp as the leading edge on a bowling ball...
If my dog was as ugly as her, I'd shave his ass and make him walk backwards...
That boy is about as sharp as the leading edge on a bowling ball...
If my dog was as ugly as her, I'd shave his ass and make him walk backwards...
Re: One Liners
This is bout as dumb as using a black highlighter.
You wrote the book on how to read didn't you?
My personal favorite:
"It's called an opinion. Everyone's entitled to having one... Except you, because you're a f---ing idiot"
This is bout as dumb as using a black highlighter.
You wrote the book on how to read didn't you?
My personal favorite:
"It's called an opinion. Everyone's entitled to having one... Except you, because you're a f---ing idiot"
Re: One Liners
life is what happens while you're making other plans.
Slicker than a greased wiesel
Running around like a dog with two dicks.
Life's like a turd sandwich - the more bread you got thet less shit you gota taste.
Life's like a black man's left leg - it's not right and it's not fair.
About as much use as a parking brake in a canoe.
Not saying she's ugly but her lipstic backs down the tube.
That's very interesting, here's 25c, go give someone a call who gives a *uck!
TTFN English
life is what happens while you're making other plans.
Slicker than a greased wiesel
Running around like a dog with two dicks.
Life's like a turd sandwich - the more bread you got thet less shit you gota taste.
Life's like a black man's left leg - it's not right and it's not fair.
About as much use as a parking brake in a canoe.
Not saying she's ugly but her lipstic backs down the tube.
That's very interesting, here's 25c, go give someone a call who gives a *uck!
TTFN English
Re: One Liners
If I had his rifle and he had a feather sticking out of his ass we'd both be tickled pink.
If I had his rifle and he had a feather sticking out of his ass we'd both be tickled pink.
Re: One Liners
Colder than a whores heart
Hotter than two rats fuckin in a wool sock
Wrong as two boys fuckin on the White House lawn
Colder than a whores heart
Hotter than two rats fuckin in a wool sock
Wrong as two boys fuckin on the White House lawn
Re: One Liners
Hotter 'n a whore on dollar day
colder 'n a witche's tit in a brass bra
busier 'n a one eyed man at a starin' contest
or
busier 'n a one legged man at an ass-kickin' contest
Ugly enough to make a train take a dirt road
He's on it like stink on sh*t
He's on it like ugly on a gorilla!
Hotter 'n a whore on dollar day
colder 'n a witche's tit in a brass bra
busier 'n a one eyed man at a starin' contest
or
busier 'n a one legged man at an ass-kickin' contest
Ugly enough to make a train take a dirt road
He's on it like stink on sh*t
He's on it like ugly on a gorilla!
Re: One Liners
She's so dumb, she couldn't count her tits twice and get the same number.
That's about as screwed up as a monkey humping a football on a trampoline.
Shakin like a dog shittin' razor blades.
Running like a striped assed ape.
She's so dumb, she couldn't count her tits twice and get the same number.
That's about as screwed up as a monkey humping a football on a trampoline.
Shakin like a dog shittin' razor blades.
Running like a striped assed ape.
Re: One Liners
His elevator doesn't go to the top floor...
Those teeth... he could eat corn on the cob through a chain-link fence...
His elevator doesn't go to the top floor...
Those teeth... he could eat corn on the cob through a chain-link fence...
Re: One Liners
A few of my regulars....but then most folks from Texas will know these...
Hotter'n a fresh fu*ked fox in a forest fire.
Colder than a well diggers ass in January.
I can dive deeper an come up dryer.
Texas, land of wooden derricks and iron men.
Wyoming, where men are men an sheep are nervous.
Son,don't shit an ole shitter.
Fu*k you an the horse you rode in on.
Bitch is more dangerous than a whore w/ a broke tooth.
You're goofier than a pet coon.
I'm so mean, I 'fraid to go to bed at night, 'fraid I'll bite muhself.
Well kiss my ass an call me Roy.
That'll go over like a fart in a diving bell.
He's dumber than a barrel of hammer handles.
She's ugly as mud fence.
Suck me off w/ a breast pump.
If I tell ya a piss ant can pull a twelve row plow, jus hitch em up an start ta plowing.
Boy done shit in his mess kit.
It's obvious you, sir, are confusing me w/ someone who gives a fu*k.
He's as worthless as tits on a boar hog.
His shit is flakier than the Pillsbury doughboy.
A few of my regulars....but then most folks from Texas will know these...
Hotter'n a fresh fu*ked fox in a forest fire.
Colder than a well diggers ass in January.
I can dive deeper an come up dryer.
Texas, land of wooden derricks and iron men.
Wyoming, where men are men an sheep are nervous.
Son,don't shit an ole shitter.
Fu*k you an the horse you rode in on.
Bitch is more dangerous than a whore w/ a broke tooth.
You're goofier than a pet coon.
I'm so mean, I 'fraid to go to bed at night, 'fraid I'll bite muhself.
Well kiss my ass an call me Roy.
That'll go over like a fart in a diving bell.
He's dumber than a barrel of hammer handles.
She's ugly as mud fence.
Suck me off w/ a breast pump.
If I tell ya a piss ant can pull a twelve row plow, jus hitch em up an start ta plowing.
Boy done shit in his mess kit.
It's obvious you, sir, are confusing me w/ someone who gives a fu*k.
He's as worthless as tits on a boar hog.
His shit is flakier than the Pillsbury doughboy.
Re: One Liners
slicker'n snot on a door knob.
Said by a friend to her kids as they left the house: "Be good, and if you cant be good be careful."
slicker'n snot on a door knob.
Said by a friend to her kids as they left the house: "Be good, and if you cant be good be careful."
Similar threads
