Thanks but shit happens to us all. Only real difference is some we ask for and some we have no choice about.
Cell phones were still science fiction when that was me!
I was high tech when I had pagers in high school. Yes, pagerS.
Unicorn-sheep: Meet the unique sheep saved from being barbecued by two cartons of beer
https://7news.com.au/news/unicorn-s...eing-barbecued-by-two-cartons-of-beer-c-59823
https://7news.com.au/news/unicorn-s...eing-barbecued-by-two-cartons-of-beer-c-59823
Barneys new GF!
Barney is getting old so just a little horny. Not a 2 headed goat like when he was young......
Barney is getting old so just a little horny. Not a 2 headed goat like when he was young......
A Russian woman married an Australian gentleman and they lived happily in Melbourne. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.
One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs.
Her butcher got the message, and gave her the chicken legs.
Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn't know how to say it, and so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts.
The butcher understood again, and gave her some chicken breasts.
On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store...................
What were you thinking?
Her husband speaks English! Now get back to whatever you were doing. I don't know about you sometimes...
One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs.
Her butcher got the message, and gave her the chicken legs.
Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn't know how to say it, and so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts.
The butcher understood again, and gave her some chicken breasts.
On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store...................
What were you thinking?
Her husband speaks English! Now get back to whatever you were doing. I don't know about you sometimes...
I was trying to explain reincarnation to the wife yesterday. I said "Some people, especially in eastern cultures, believe that when you die you come back to earth as a completely different kind of animal". She replied "So I could say, come back as a cow?" Sigh! "You're not listening, are you?"
Give a Nigerian a fish he'll eat for a day. Teach a Nigerian to phish and he'll become a prince and start emailing people all over the planet.
Give a Nigerian a fish he'll eat for a day. Teach a Nigerian to phish and he'll become a prince and start emailing people all over the planet.
BEST GOLF CADDY RESPONSES
NUMBER 10:
GOLFER: "I think I'm going to drown myself in the lake".
CADDY: "Think you can keep your head down that long?"
NUMBER 9:
GOLFER: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course".
CADDY: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth".
NUMBER 8:
GOLFER: "Do you think my game is improving?"
CADDY: "Yes... you miss the ball much closer now".
NUMBER 7:
GOLFER: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"
CADDY: "Eventually".
NUMBER 6:
GOLFER: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world".
CADDY: "I don't think so. That would be too much of a coincidence".
NUMBER 5:
GOLFER: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction".
CADDY: "It's not a watch it's a compass".
NUMBER 4:
GOLFER: "How do you like my game?"
CADDY: "It's very good. but personally, I prefer golf".
NUMBER 3:
GOLFER: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?
CADDY: "The way you play, it's a sin on any day".
NUMBER 2:
GOLFER: "This is the worst course I've ever played on".
CADDY: "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago".
NUMBER 1:
GOLFER: "That can't be my ball, it's too old".
CADDY: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir".
BONUS:
The Golfer who has been slicing off the tee at every hole.
GOLFER: "Can you see any obvious problems??"
CADDY: "There's a piece of shit on the end of your club".
The golfer picks up his club up and cleans the club face.
CADDY: "No sir, it's at the other end"
NUMBER 10:
GOLFER: "I think I'm going to drown myself in the lake".
CADDY: "Think you can keep your head down that long?"
NUMBER 9:
GOLFER: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course".
CADDY: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth".
NUMBER 8:
GOLFER: "Do you think my game is improving?"
CADDY: "Yes... you miss the ball much closer now".
NUMBER 7:
GOLFER: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"
CADDY: "Eventually".
NUMBER 6:
GOLFER: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world".
CADDY: "I don't think so. That would be too much of a coincidence".
NUMBER 5:
GOLFER: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction".
CADDY: "It's not a watch it's a compass".
NUMBER 4:
GOLFER: "How do you like my game?"
CADDY: "It's very good. but personally, I prefer golf".
NUMBER 3:
GOLFER: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?
CADDY: "The way you play, it's a sin on any day".
NUMBER 2:
GOLFER: "This is the worst course I've ever played on".
CADDY: "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago".
NUMBER 1:
GOLFER: "That can't be my ball, it's too old".
CADDY: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir".
BONUS:
The Golfer who has been slicing off the tee at every hole.
GOLFER: "Can you see any obvious problems??"
CADDY: "There's a piece of shit on the end of your club".
The golfer picks up his club up and cleans the club face.
CADDY: "No sir, it's at the other end"
My wife actually bought one of those things. Now it's collecting dust somewhere in one of the cupboards.
I’d like to have one for pealing pears when I make preserves... just sayin’
Other than that 1.5-2 months it would just collect dust lol
Three-eyed snake found in Northern Territory
https://www.news.com.au/technology/...y/news-story/6f3af858012c56cfab1b5c1003d437a6
https://www.news.com.au/technology/...y/news-story/6f3af858012c56cfab1b5c1003d437a6
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