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Maggie’s Random Stuff

Movie to be released later this year, "Danger Close, the battle of Long Tan"

South Vietnam, late afternoon on August 18, 1966 - for three and a half hours, in the pouring rain, amid the mud and shattered trees of a rubber plantation called Long Tan, Major Harry Smith and his dispersed company of 108 young and mostly inexperienced Australian and New Zealand soldiers are fighting for their lives, holding off an overwhelming enemy force of 2,500 battle hardened Main Force Viet Cong and North Vietnamese Army soldiers. With their ammunition running out, their casualties mounting and the enemy massing for a final assault each man begins to search for his own answer - and the strength to triumph over an uncertain future with honor, decency and courage. The Battle of Long Tan is one of the most savage and decisive engagements in ANZAC history, earning both the United States and South Vietnamese Presidential Unit Citations for gallantry along with many individual awards. But not before 18 Australians and more than 245 Vietnamese are killed.

https://www.dangerclosemovie.com/videos/
 
Need some new Glock sights?

7074349
 
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On the first day after his divorce, he sadly packed his belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, he had the movers come and collect his things.

On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table, by candle-light, he put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, a bottle of spring-water, 3 cans of sardines.

When he'd finished, he went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimps dipped in caviar, and some sardines into the hollow centre of the curtain rods.

He then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

On the fourth day, the wife came back with her new boyfriend, and at first all was bliss.

Then, slowly, the house began to smell.

They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, and airing-out the place. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.

Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which time the two had to move out for a few days, and in the end, they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked! People stopped coming over to visit.

Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.

Finally, they couldn't take the stench any longer, and decided they had to move, but a month later, even though they'd cut their price in half, they couldn't find a buyer for such a stinky house.

Word got out, and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, unable to wait any longer for a purchaser, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

Then the ex called the woman and asked how things were going. She told him the saga of the rotting house. He listened politely and said that he missed his old home terribly and would be willing to reduce his divorce settlement in exchange for having the house.

Knowing he could have no idea how bad the smell really was, she agreed on a price that was only 1/10 of what the house had been worth... but only if he would sign the papers that very day.

He agreed, and within two hours her lawyers delivered the completed paperwork.

A week later the woman and her boyfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home and to spite the ex-husband... they even took the curtain rods!
 
I’d like to have one for pealing pears when I make preserves... just sayin’

Other than that 1.5-2 months it would just collect dust lol
Don't get me wrong, when we used it to peel fruit it was great...but I believe the main thing it peeled was my wallet. :)
 
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Five days ago the FBI issued a terrorist threat for July 4th. Me and rhe Mrs. go to see the fireworks tonight why on earth does twi muslim garbed women (one wearing a backpack on her chest) come stand right beside us? Can you guess how much distance and collateral sheep I immediately placed between us!!
 
An Italian, a Frenchman and an Aussie were talking about screams of passion.
The Italian said "Last night I massaged my wife all over her body with the finest extra virgin Olive oil. Then we made passionate love and I made her scream, non-stop for five minutes".
The Frenchman said "Last night I massaged my wife all over her body with special Aphrodisiac oil from Provence and then we made passionate love. I made her scream for fifteen minutes straight!"
The Aussie said "That's nothing! Last night I massaged my wife, all over her body with a special butter. I caressed her entire body with the butter and then made love and I made her scream for two long hours".
The Italian and Frenchman, astonished, asked "Two full hours? ... wow! That's phenomenal. How did you do it, to make her scream for two hours?"
The Aussie replied "I wiped my hands on the curtains".
 
There are important questions to be answered about recent LGBTI bathroom legislation and whether transgender people will be permitted to use a restroom of the gender that they 'identify' with or be required to use the restroom of their biological gender.
If the latter, will public restrooms be required to have a Genital Inspection Station posted at the entrance to all public restrooms?
Who will have to pay these Pecker Checkers, the people using the restroom, or the entity that owns the restroom?
And how much money will a Pecker Checker be paid to check peckers?
Or, do we pay a Pecker Checker by the number of peckers checked?
How many peckers can a Pecker Checker check if a Pecker Checker could check peckers?
What has this country come to when the Department of Labor has to create a new job description of Politically Correct Restroom Service Inspectors?
Their Motto Will Be...? "If You Gotta Pee - We Gotta See!"
 
"While we couldn't place him at Ford's Theatre on the evening of April 14, 1865, we could not confirm he wasn't present, either," Mueller continued. "That is for Congress to decide."

 
GEEZUS KRIST !!!



Welcome to Texas (and Kansas, and Oklahoma). Those were pretty damn big too - wouldn’t have been a good day for livestock.

Sad thing is that insurance check (if full coverage) will go towards something else and that beat up car will live out it’s days looking exactly the same.
 
In a small village in Egypt lived two orphan boys, Set and Amenhotep. They always watched out for each other, well past their years of childhood and into their time as young adults.

One day, the two were walking outside the village when they saw a crocodile trapped in a poacher's snare. The two young men, sympathetic to a creature in need, approached the crocodile and released it from the trap.

Once freed, the crocodile transformed into a wispy, glowing fairy! "Thank you, young men" said the fairy "Your hearts are truly selfless, and I will grant each of you one wish. What are your names?"

"This is my friend Set, and you can call me 'Ep'" said Amenhotep. "Very well, Ep" said the fairy "What is the desire of your heart?"

"I wish I was the strongest man in the world!" Amenhotep wished. "Very well" said the fairy "but you must always use your strength to help others". Smoke gathered around Amenhotep, and when the smoke cleared Ep was 7-foot-6 and rippling with muscles.

The fairy turned to Set "And what is your wish, Set?" Set responded "I never want to be poor again! I wish for money!" "Very well" said the fairy. Smoke gathered in front of the two of them, and when the smoke cleared a small elf remained, bowing to the two boys. "Greetings, sirs! My name is Elmon, and I am here to serve!"

"Elmon is an expert in all things money" said the fairy "He will help you make wise decisions and turn any business profitable, but will only help you so long as he is only asked to do good for your fellow man".

Amenhotep and Set were inseparable. True to his word, Amenhotep used his great strength to build many houses for people in need. Set helped, as well, but his comparatively small size next to the now massive Amenhotep earned him the nickname "Imp". With Elmon's financial savvy, the two started a non-profit dedicated to building houses for the less fortunate, and Elmon kept all their paperwork in perfect order.

Years passed, and the two lived very fulfilling lives helping the homeless. Amenhotep met a girl while building houses and the two got married and had a beautiful baby boy, Josep.

Ep and Set's business expanded globally. 15 years passed and Amenhotep grew kinder and more generous, giving to people in need at any of the places he went to build houses. Set built a campus in Cairo for the headquarters of their business, and directed global efforts. Over the years, Set lost touch with the people he was helping, and became more focused on business expansion and money of the business.

As all fathers do, Amenhotep wanted his son to eventually take over the business and help the next generation of needful people find purpose in their lives. He sent Josep to the the HQ in Cairo to learn business from Set. Once there, Josep was surprised to find that much of the financial success was due in large part to the financial savvy of Elmon, the elf.

Josep spent months at HQ learning how to run the business. While there, Set decided that it was time to expand the company into a more profitable venture. Instead of building houses for the needy, he drafted up a plan to buy up land around urban areas and construct rental properties at expensive prices while preventing construction of new, affordable housing. He sent Josep with the proposal to Elmon to determine the financial logistics.

Upon reading the proposal and its ill-nature's effect on Set's fellow man, Elmon keeled over and died, instantly.

Josep was shocked, and ran to alert Set right away, who wailed in dismay at the loss of his financial mastermind. In a rage, he accused Josep of killing Elmon, and sent the teenager to jail.

Amenhotep, hearing of the distress, caught the first flight back to Cairo to find himself neck-deep in a legal battle between him and his old friend.

Without the financial and legal savvy of Elmon, Set's case was a mess. Amenhotep, distraught, tried to reason with his childhood friend. "Come, Imp, release my boy and call off the lawsuit. Let's use our energy to help those in need and not further what we both know is a fruitless path".

Set refused, furiously gathering circumstantial evidence to bring to the court to frame Josep for Elmon's murder.

The case was brought before the court, but Set's claims were weak and unsupported. The judge, thoroughly disgusted with the lack of evidence from the prosecution, dismissed the case outright.

Obviously, Ep's teen didn't kill Imp's elf.