Share Your Poop!!!

BJG56

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Minuteman
Dec 21, 2019
98
75
SE WI
OK, I got a fart story. I had a abdominal surgery about 1 1/2 years ago and had been on narcotic pain meds for about 4 days. Hadn't had a shit during that time. My kid was helping me sit down on the crapper, thought I was going to finally get some relief. I looked about 5 months pregnant. I never did take a shit, but I let out a 6-7 second fart about as loud as a jet taking off. My kid is still traumatized by the noxious fumes he inhaled. It hurt, but I laughed my head off.
 

8pointer

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  • Nov 20, 2018
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    No good craps this week, BUTT I did pull off one of my lesser known feats last night: waking myself up with a fart. Last several days more rabbit food than usual and had some good flutter flapppers yesterday, but I was not expecting the wake up fart. As always b/f the fart ends I'm already laughing from a dead sleep.
     

    powdahound76

    Old tired dad
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    Sep 7, 2011
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    Large volume
    Soft consistency (softer than soft serve)
    Gassy
    Pale color (my gallbladder is fine! Its just the chickpea GF pasta that does it)

    HORRIBLE odor.
    Easy clean-up on center isle.

    8.5/10 for stench and cool coloring!
     
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    8pointer

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  • Nov 20, 2018
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    Since we have no pictures I think it's time we talk about bowl design and it's advantages and disadvantages. Sure we can hear about these mythical beasts, but there ought to be a handicapping system like golf. I have 35 year old high flow Miami Vice art deco looking high flow crappers......both ugly AND extremely difficult to get unbroken coilers. Yes they will swallow anything you put down them may as well be an airport commercial commode, but still when I can pinch off a beast w/o breaking it's truly a treat and a feat.

    Discuss
     
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    Mike Casselton

    Non-Bidenary Trunk Monkey
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  • Nov 25, 2007
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    Lithia, FL
    Woke up to my pooch proving that last night's awful farts had meaning.

    The entry foyer and the hallway by the kids' rooms was peppered with puppy poop.

    I just broke out the carpet cleaner and had at it. Thankful for having it, otherwise we would have moved forward with installing hardwood floors.

    Anyway, I'm now having coffee and expecting great things later, since yesterday was BBQ at lunch, and a big assed burger for dinner.
    Rebecca and I had dinner with ^^^^^ Mr Stinky Pants ^^^^ up there and @Northfl
     
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    The D

    Resident capitalist/agorist/voluntaryist
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  • Apr 11, 2020
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    Halftime report: I’ve been bloated and a bit constipated so this was sure to be a battle for the ages. I also know how pregnant women feel now. Enough spoilers, let’s get to the breakdown

    effort 2/10- I mentioned I was a bit constipated and, um, that didn’t help trying to birth this thing

    odor 8/10- being backed up let everything marinate for longer than usual

    appearance 9/10- after getting the initial grapefruit sized turd out, the rest of my bowels voided and filled up the bowl. It looked very similar to a 3D model of the big island of Hawaii from the ocean floor, breaking the surface of the water and everything.

    cleanup 7/10- this was not nearly as heinous as I thought it would be. I expected it to take at least the rest of this roll but it only took an extra wipe.

    In conclusion, I struggled pretty hard initially but in the end I prevailed. I’m still undefeated in my poop battles
     

    Steel head

    Feral kitten
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  • Aug 3, 2014
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    Washington
    4/8/21
    I named my poop Joe corn pop today.
    Not a very good poop.
    In fact it was disappointing.
    I happily wrote an executive order afterwards and sent joe swimming away.
    That was rather enjoyable to watch.
     

    8pointer

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  • Nov 20, 2018
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    Haven't shared in a while b/c quite frankly I've been embarrassed by my lack of productivity. Then right when discouragement was at it's peak this afternoon I literally had to hang up from a work call 'can I please call you back in a few minutes I have something pressing I have to take care of' kind of awesome. I'm 15 minutes post-dump and can't believe what a good Mexican lunch yesterday did for my poops. I love me some beaner food. And it was one of those turds that seemed to be wrapped in cellophane I did 2 security wipes, but weren't needed just a really proud moment for me. Cliffs Notes: single beast, dark brown, tapered on BOTH ends, zero splash back and optional wipe.
     
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    powdahound76

    Old tired dad
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    Sep 7, 2011
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    Awesome drop today.
    Large volume, cool color, horrible stench.
    Very artistic presentation. one end down the flush hole. Nominal diameter pooh extended superiorly to the water surface where it angled to the back of the bowl, then curled left (from sitter position) in a near perfect crescent.
    multiple other 4” long floaters as well as a couple smaller ones.

    This gets 9.1/10.

    An early Happy Friday!!!
     
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    8pointer

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  • Nov 20, 2018
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    Awesome drop today.
    Large volume, cool color, horrible stench.
    Very artistic presentation. one end down the flush hole. Nominal diameter pooh extended superiorly to the water surface where it angled to the back of the bowl, then curled left (from sitter position) in a near perfect crescent.
    multiple other 4” long floaters as well as a couple smaller ones.

    This gets 9.1/10.

    An early Happy Friday!!!
    Atta boy dream big and never stop reaching for the stars!
     
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    Mike Casselton

    Non-Bidenary Trunk Monkey
    PX Member
    Minuteman
  • Nov 25, 2007
    5,818
    8,413
    Lithia, FL
    Awesome drop today.
    Large volume, cool color, horrible stench.
    Very artistic presentation. one end down the flush hole. Nominal diameter pooh extended superiorly to the water surface where it angled to the back of the bowl, then curled left (from sitter position) in a near perfect crescent.
    multiple other 4” long floaters as well as a couple smaller ones.

    This gets 9.1/10.

    An early Happy Friday!!!

    So, you made a Nike symbol? Awesome!!
     

    The D

    Resident capitalist/agorist/voluntaryist
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  • Apr 11, 2020
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    I ate a chipotle burrito last night so I’m already preparing for a battle
     

    The D

    Resident capitalist/agorist/voluntaryist
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  • Apr 11, 2020
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    eat some hard boiled eggs
    If I could guarantee that it would be set off at work I would definitely do that but there are innocent people in my house
     

    oneshot86

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    Jul 13, 2001
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    If I could guarantee that it would be set off at work I would definitely do that but there are innocent people in my house
    ok ok...
    go down by the harbor, youll know the beer joint to go into, a 6 pack and a pickled pigs foot, but you have to drink some of the juice.
    youll get effect w out the sulfur paeling the paint
     
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    The D

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    ok ok...
    go down by the harbor, youll know the beer joint to go into, a 6 pack and a pickled pigs foot, but you have to drink some of the juice.
    youll get effect w out the sulfur paeling the paint
    I’m just going to let it happen naturally
     

    oneshot86

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    Jul 13, 2001
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    I’m just going to let it happen naturally
    i hear ya...
    i dont have any good poop storys for yas.
    although, little out side of the poop box...
    kid is super young, diapers, at a party, no where to change little one, lay the kid out of the way on the carpet, im fast at this, the kid was poopen out hard baby turds, you know what im talking about, easy job.

    theres a chiwawua little dog involved in my story

    wanna hear the rest???
     

    The D

    Resident capitalist/agorist/voluntaryist
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  • Apr 11, 2020
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    i hear ya...
    i dont have any good poop storys for yas.
    although, little out side of the poop box...
    kid is super young, diapers, at a party, no where to change little one, lay the kid out of the way on the carpet, im fast at this, the kid was poopen out hard baby turds, you know what im talking about, easy job.

    theres a chiwawua little dog involved in my story

    wanna hear the rest???
    lol, yes. I’m sure I can guess how it goes though
     

    Steel head

    Feral kitten
    PX Member
    Minuteman
  • Aug 3, 2014
    13,560
    35,428
    Washington
    Today I had the best poop in well over a decade.
    9.2/10.
    Low essence.
    Good volume and consistency.
    Sit down, wow this is gonna be a good one and start grabbing paper.
    Easy clean up.
     
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    LeftyJason

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  • Mar 8, 2017
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    Texting with my family and was reminded of how my nephew farts become deadly after he eats Gummy worms. Wife was looking up what causes that and she ran across this story.



    "DO NOT EAT PRINGLES FAT FREE POTATO CHIPS. THEY WILL GREASE YOUR ASS.​


    Don't even fucking say a word. I like potato chips, and can't eat them very much or I'll get fat.

    I tried out these Pringles Fat-Free chips because they were super low-cal. BBQ flavor. the fuck.

    The can said they had 70 calories per serving, which meant the whole can had 490 calories inside total. I could munch through a can in a day with my lunch, dinner, etc. So I got several cans, and began enjoying one a day for the past four days. But what they dont fucking tell you...

    Except in tiny print you cant read without a fucking electron microscope

    ...is that the primary ingredient is something called "olean" which I have since learned is Latin for "Unwashable & Indestructible Ass Grease."

    Oh Yeah. I'm not even kidding.

    So today, while I'm standing in the living room debating whether or not Laundry or Dishes will get done first, I get the urge to fart. I live alone, so sweet. I let the honk loose and its wrong. Something just sounded wrong. I know my own wind, and I have never farted a sound that sounded like a fart wrapped in a pillow.

    Oh yes, something was very wrong. I had just shat myself. But this evil olean makes shitting yourself sound almost like a regular fart, and had I not been particularly attentive, it could easily have gone unnoticed, I'm telling you. THAT's how utterly covert and evil this olean stuff is. What the fuck?! What if I'd gone out to hang with friends or gone for a drive, what then?

    So I walk carefully to the bathroom and disrobe. before I even sit on the toilet, I wad paper and carefully wipe from the front. Sure enough, it was light brown, and had the texture of soft spackle. You fucking Pringle bastards.

    I sat down and pushed a bit, and lo, out came a jet that I didnt even feel an urge for one minute earlier. It piled in the bowl like brown marshmallow fluff.

    The problem rose when I tried to wipe. I went through a whole fucking roll of TP and could not get it all off me. So.

    I jumped in the shower. Yep, its gross, but it had to be done. There I stood, water pouring down, cheeks spread, and using my own hand to make certain I'm clean.

    That was when I discovered that after using my hand to wipe myself (before I soaped the area) my hand came back covered in some sort of transparent grease. It was so fucking foul. The grease made water bead off my hand. It was tacky too, and very difficult to manage.

    So I grabbed the bar of saop and went to work.

    You fucking Pringle bastards.

    The bar of soap came away coated in grease as well, and would no longer wash. I had to turn the water to hot and massage the soap for five minutes to get it to the point where I could use it again. It took me an hour to get the fucking grease off my pucker. I shudder to think of what its doing INSIDE ME right now, but I will damned sure never eat that shit again.

    Fucking Pringle bastards.

    This is where the joke about "anal leakage" came from. its real. Fuck Pringles."