Maggie’s Socially UNacceptable Humor

[hermosabeach]

This guy goes to a brothel and tells the madam he likes fat girls, so she takes him to one room and introduces him to a portly young lady, but he tells her he likes them fatter!

So in to the next room and there is an American style fat girl and still he wants one even bigger!

So the madam takes him to a real special girl that is just huge, he sees her and says

"Perfect, this is exactly what I'm looking for!"

So he pays and they are in the room fucking. He asks her to turn off the light and she asks
"Why? Are you one of these kinky people that only has sex in the dark?"




"No" he answers "The lightbulb is burning my ass!"

 

[sirhrmechanic]

Some historians argue that science began ~600BC in Greece.



Actually, math was practiced at a high level in Egypt well before Christ. The library in Alexandria was the best on the planet in its day.

Library of Alexandria - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

Check out Euclid in this:

History of geometry - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

It has been said that if the Library at Alexandria had not been burned... then the news of Christ's crucifiction would have been radio'd to Rome.

A bit apocyphal since it was only about 75 years between the events. But the loss of knowledge set mankind back for 1,000 years.

Think where we would be today if we didn't have to learn all the stuff in there... again.

If I could go anywhere in history... the Library at its height would be one of the places I'd choose!

Sirhr

 

[Blue Sky Country]

It has been said that if the Library at Alexandria had not been burned... then the news of Christ's crucifiction would have been radio'd to Rome.

A bit apocyphal since it was only about 75 years between the events. But the loss of knowledge set mankind back for 1,000 years.

Think where we would be today if we didn't have to learn all the stuff in there... again.

If I could go anywhere in history... the Library at its height would be one of the places I'd choose!

Sirhr

Imagine how much knowledge and human progress had been destroyed by the plethora of socialist and communist regimes in the 20th century. The USSR, China, eastern Europe, and many other places literally collapsed back into the Middle Ages overnight once marxism was instituted. It is also well documented that industrial production under socialist regimes lack almost any kind of quality control, since nobody owned the facilities or plants, nobody cared. From the inspectors down to the assembly line shift workers. Just clock in and serve your shift like it is a prison sentence. Something screwed up? Parts missing or damaged due to carelessness? That's somebody else's problem. Once in a while on large and important state mandated works, such as spacegoing vehicles and propulsion systems, or nuclear reactors, if a fuckup is big enough that important people gets killed and the failure ruins the 'state image', everybody associated with the project gets executed or sent to the gulag. And then tomorrow, it is back to base one again, as if everybody forgot...

 

[Davo308]

 

[sirhrmechanic]

Imagine how much knowledge and human progress had been destroyed by the plethora of socialist and communist regimes in the 20th century. The USSR, China, eastern Europe, and many other places literally collapsed back into the Middle Ages overnight once marxism was instituted. It is also well documented that industrial production under socialist regimes lack almost any kind of quality control, since nobody owned the facilities or plants, nobody cared. From the inspectors down to the assembly line shift workers. Just clock in and serve your shift like it is a prison sentence. Something screwed up? Parts missing or damaged due to carelessness? That's somebody else's problem. Once in a while on large and important state mandated works, such as spacegoing vehicles and propulsion systems, or nuclear reactors, if a fuckuyet.p is big enough that important people gets killed and the failure ruins the 'state image', everybody associated with the project gets executed or sent to the gulag. And then tomorrow, it is back to base one again, as if everybody forgot...

Right? I think about how many of the intelligentsia in Europe were turned into air pollution between 1937 and 1945... and wonder how of them might have cured cancer. Or created fusion power. Or who know?

How many of the people chopped up in Rwanda... or starved in decades of African Colonial Wars... had they been given educations... might have created 90% efficient solar power? Or room temperature superconducting?

How many of the grandchildren or children of millions of Kulaks or Cambodians or Chinese or, for that matter, American blacks -- given the educational opportunities -- could have been bigger than Edison or Rutherford or Fermi or Salk or Penzias...

It's not just Communism... it's racism, sexism, all kinds of 'ism's' that have cost the human race several thousand years of evolution. With Communism and Socialism being, unquestionably, the worst.

But there ya go. At least we haven't nuked the planet yet. Though right now, I am kind of rooting for a bleed-out virus to wipe out about 2/3rds of the retards. Then again, I am mean and have little regard for retards.

Sirhr

 

[Jscb1b]

Right? I think about how many of the intelligentsia in Europe were turned into air pollution between 1937 and 1945... and wonder how of them might have cured cancer. Or created fusion power. Or who know?

How many of the people chopped up in Rwanda... or starved in decades of African Colonial Wars... had they been given educations... might have created 90% efficient solar power? Or room temperature superconducting?

How many of the grandchildren or children of millions of Kulaks or Cambodians or Chinese or, for that matter, American blacks -- given the educational opportunities -- could have been bigger than Edison or Rutherford or Fermi or Salk or Penzias...

It's not just Communism... it's racism, sexism, all kinds of 'ism's' that have cost the human race several thousand years of evolution. With Communism and Socialism being, unquestionably, the worst.

But there ya go. At least we haven't nuked the planet yet. Though right now, I am kind of rooting for a bleed-out virus to wipe out about 2/3rds of the retards. Then again, I am mean and have little regard for retards.

Sirhr

You forgot the cure for chinkflu.

 

[W54/XM-388]

Though right now, I am kind of rooting for a bleed-out virus to wipe out about 2/3rds of the retards. Then again, I am mean and have little regard for retards.
Sirhr

I'm waiting for the Giant Asteroid to wipe out the coastal cities and bring on the next ice age.
That should solve most problems.

I have heard however that the Red Shield team has their own plan to get rid of most useless types, but if they do, they sure are taking their sweet time figuring it out.

 

[TripleBull]

It has been said that if the Library at Alexandria had not been burned... then the news of Christ's crucifiction would have been radio'd to Rome.

A bit apocyphal since it was only about 75 years between the events. But the loss of knowledge set mankind back for 1,000 years.

Think where we would be today if we didn't have to learn all the stuff in there... again.

If I could go anywhere in history... the Library at its height would be one of the places I'd choose!

I hear you. Alexandria was pretty dang modern in its heyday.

It would have been cool to visit the House of Wisdom at its prime too. If you haven't read Jim Al-Khalili's book, it's worth the time.

So much has been lost to history. The ancient Roman recipe for cement is an example.

How can you document it all in a durable way? Assholes burn books or throw them in the river. I've thought about making time capsules out of tungsten carbide tablets with the fundamentals inscribed. And maybe some good humor.

 

[Jscb1b]

I hear you. Alexandria was pretty dang modern in its heyday.

It would have been cool to visit the House of Wisdom at its prime too. If you haven't read Jim Al-Khalili's book, it's worth the time.

So much has been lost to history. The ancient Roman recipe for cement is an example.

How can you document it all in a durable way? Assholes burn books or throw them in the river. I've thought about making time capsules out of tungsten carbide tablets with the fundamentals inscribed. And maybe some good humor.

Chisel it in to a fruit cake.

 

[ColinW]

 

[ColinW]

 

[ColinW]

 

[sirhrmechanic]

So... back on track....

Sirhr

 

[sirhrmechanic]

 

[Blue Sky Country]

View attachment 7487729

Dammit! Just two less shares and it would have been 556... Perfect number to compliment that thread OP's username.

 

[W54/XM-388]

How can you document it all in a durable way? Assholes burn books or throw them in the river. I've thought about making time capsules out of tungsten carbide tablets with the fundamentals inscribed. And maybe some good humor.

Carve it in large stone monuments in several places.
Much of what we have left from the ancient world is what was carved in stone.

Stone is a lot of work to destroy and most just smash it up & leave it, which means someone may be able to put some back together again.

 

[Davo308]

 

[Davo308]

 

[fpgt72]

Imagine how much knowledge and human progress had been destroyed by the plethora of socialist and communist regimes in the 20th century. The USSR, China, eastern Europe, and many other places literally collapsed back into the Middle Ages overnight once marxism was instituted. It is also well documented that industrial production under socialist regimes lack almost any kind of quality control, since nobody owned the facilities or plants, nobody cared. From the inspectors down to the assembly line shift workers. Just clock in and serve your shift like it is a prison sentence. Something screwed up? Parts missing or damaged due to carelessness? That's somebody else's problem. Once in a while on large and important state mandated works, such as spacegoing vehicles and propulsion systems, or nuclear reactors, if a fuckup is big enough that important people gets killed and the failure ruins the 'state image', everybody associated with the project gets executed or sent to the gulag. And then tomorrow, it is back to base one again, as if everybody forgot...

I dawn a fireproof suit as I take this to the next step.

Don't forget the church in Rome, the same thing happened there, the earth is the center of the universe to blood letting all can be thanked to religion. Nostradamus wrote in quatrains for fear of the church. It does not matter if he was a crack or not, he was a Dr at the time of a real pandemic doing things to help people. I will not get into other religions and their views on females, the many splits and factions of religion, enough to say it did hold the human race back.

 

[Punkur67]

 

[SBRSarge]

Well, we can clearly see who wears the pants in this relationship. Are your balls in her purse too?We’re all curious.

No, absolutely not. She keeps them in a Mason jar. I think she pickled them....

 

[ColinW]

No, absolutely not. She keeps them in a Mason jar. I think she pickled them....

Well, that's good for longevity! (joking aside, hope I didn't offend you. I was being sarcastic)

 

[SBRSarge]

Well, that's good for longevity! (joking aside, hope I didn't offend you. I was being sarcastic)

Hell, no offense taken! I can take it as well as I dish it out.

 

[Davo308]

 

[oneshot86]

So... back on track....

View attachment 7487752

Sirhr

Your humor is unparalleled, lol

 

[Davo308]

 

[Maser]

Why don't child molesters ever win in track meet races?
Because they always come in a little behind.

What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne waits until you're 12 before coming on your face.

 

[ColinW]

Why don't child molesters ever win in track meet races?
Because they always come in a little behind.

What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne waits until you're 12 before coming on your face.

Lord, forgive me for laughing. Those are pretty bad!

How is life like toilet paper? ......You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone else.

(Best pick up line I’ve used in my premarital years on Tinder) Hey lady.....What do Nintendo games and I have in common? .....You have to blow me first before you put it in.

 

[1J04]

Well, that's good for longevity! (joking aside, hope I didn't offend you. I was being sarcastic)

Hell, no offense taken! I can take it as well as I dish it out.

Geezus H. Krist ! Are you two gonna fuck or what?

 

[1J04]

Lord, forgive me for laughing. Those are pretty bad!

How is life like toilet paper? ......You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone else.

(Best pick up line I’ve used in my premarital years on Tinder) Hey lady.....What do Nintendo games and I have in common? .....You have to blow me first before you put it in.

I don't think you know who you're talking to, but I'm pretty damn sure you just gave him a itty bitty chub.

Maser makes a new friend. lmfao


How is life like toilet paper? ......You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone else.

 

[Halfnutz]

Last year I was working in Thialand, I befriended a bar girl that took me around and showed me the sights and experienced several Buddhist traditions.

At a temple I recieved a blessing from a monk and was given a penis charm for prosperity.
I get some strange looks and an occasional question about it from people when they see my key ring. "Uh, dude, is that a penis?"
I usually tell them it means a whole different thing when you get a penis from a catholic priest.

 

[ColinW]

I don't think you know who you're talking to, but I'm pretty damn sure you just gave him a itty bitty chub.

Maser makes a new friend. lmfao


How is life like toilet paper? ......You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone else.

No, I’m afraid I do not. But, hey.....Whatever puts the wind in your sails, I don’t judge. As for me, imma go plow my wife like a cornfield

 

[1J04]

No, I’m afraid I do not. But, hey.....Whatever puts the wind in your sails, I don’t judge. As for me, imma go plow my wife like a cornfield

Video, or it didn't happen.

edit: Oh, if you'd like some pics of your new buddy I'll hook you up via PM. Then tell me more about this "Judge" thing you're talk'n bout.

 

[ColinW]

Video, or it didn't happen.

edit: Oh, if you'd like some pics of your new buddy I'll hook you up via PM. Then tell me more about this "Judge" thing you're talk'n bout.

well, I won’t do videos....But, here’s proof it happened

 

[1J04]

well, I won’t do videos....But, here’s proof it happened View attachment 7490719

Close enough. Congratulations and beautiful smile only an expecting Mother can have. Seems to make them glow. Do we know if it's a Boy or Girl yet?

 

[ColinW]

Close enough. Congratulations and beautiful smile only an expecting Mother can have. Seems to make them glow. Do we know if it's a Boy or Girl yet?

It’s a boy! Though, we both wanted it to be a surprise. When the ultrasound techy printed pictures, we told him we didn’t want to know the gender. And sure enough, the stupid f**k put two pics in an envelope, with pictures on the outside, and wrote Boy on the back. My wife was slightly pissed at first, as it wasn’t the ideal way we wanted to find out. I’m particularly excited, since I was the last male in my family’s name.

 

[1J04]

It’s a boy! Though, we both wanted it to be a surprise. When the ultrasound techy printed pictures, we told him we didn’t want to know the gender. And sure enough, the stupid f**k put two pics in an envelope, with pictures on the outside, and wrote Boy on the back. My wife was slightly pissed at first, as it wasn’t the ideal way we wanted to find out. I’m particularly excited, since I was the last male in my family’s name.

Ya, that's not cool, BUT, now you have a Son to carry on the family name. I was in the same Boat, so to speak. Then ended up having 2 Sons. Funny how it works out sometimes.

 

[Maser]

Will you two autistic faggots just suck eachother off already and get back to actual humor so us real men can laugh instead of cringe?

 

[ColinW]

Will you two autistic faggots just suck eachother off already and get back to actual humor so us real men can laugh instead of cringe?

sheesh.....Who pissed in your Cheerios, cupcake? Chill dude, it’s not a dick. Don’t take it so hard.

 

[Maser]

Honey Nut Cheerios?

 

[Tater Salad]

 

[Davo308]

 

[143lrsd]

 

[EddieNFL]

Video, or it didn't happen.

edit: Oh, if you'd like some pics of your new buddy I'll hook you up via PM. Then tell me more about this "Judge" thing you're talk'n bout.

Thanks for not posting them. A couple are still burned into my brain because I didn't find the ignore button until around 2010.

 

[EddieNFL]

well, I won’t do videos....But, here’s proof it happened View attachment 7490719

Are you sure it's hers?

 

[Maser]

Thanks for not posting them. A couple are still burned into my brain because I didn't find the ignore button until around 2010.

Hey now my pics are beautiful!

 

[BullGear]

Hey now my pics are beautiful!

View attachment 7491116

That's just weird.....

 

[Davo308]

 

[Davo308]

 

[Davo308]