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Maggie’s Socially UNacceptable Humor

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A pharmacist walked into his shop to find a man leaning against the wall. "What's wrong with him?" he asked his assistant.

"He came in for cough syrup, but I couldn't find any so I gave him an entire box of laxatives".

"You idiot" said the chemist "You can't treat a cough with laxatives".

"Of course you can" the assistant replied "Look at him... he daren't cough now!!"
 
A little girl asks her father "What is SEX?"

The father thinks, this is the day i tell my little princess everything about sex, he sits her down and explains sex including, sexual intercourse, conception, sperms, eggs, ovulation, menstruation, etc.

Then the little girls asks "Daddy what is a COUPLE?"
And he explains that it means two people engaging in sex, including homos and lesbians, paedophiles and everything.

Finally, he asks the little girl "Why do u want to know about a couple and sex?"


She answered that "Mommy said that lunch will be ready in A COUPLE OF SECS".
--
 
Last night I was sitting browsing the web on the PC, when the wife walked in and asked me what I was doing.

"Oh, I'm just looking around for some cheap flights". I replied.

She got all excited, smiled widely and then came over to my desk, got on her knees, undid my zip, and gave me a tremendous blowie!



Don't ask me why though. I can't work out why she's so interested in darts all of a sudden.
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NOTE TO ALL MEMBERS

@Dirty D , The Head Sheep Fucker, is having difficulty posting today on the Hide. I encourage you to degrade him at your leisure while enjoying no imminent retaliation.
That's what happens when you fuck with @Tucker301 and @Lowlight. I'm certain it's just a cowinky dink though.
LMFAO


The Puddle Jumper is locked out!
EPIC:ROFLMAO:

What the hell were you thinking tagging Lowlight to this thread. You trying to get us all banned?
 
The Sheep Fucker and I were trading jabs via texts, yes, we've taken our fuckery to a more personal level. He'll say for his morbid pleasure and I'll say for mine. Anywho, Mr Marlin Spike Seamen Stain was crying about being unable to post today and thought maybe @Lowlight or @Tucker301 might be fucking with him due to him jacking around in another thread about you two crossing 'Swords':oops: at some Moderator Seminar or some damn thing. I dunno, he's fucked up. SURPRISE! :ROFLMAO:
Enjoy the peace while ya can Boys. Jose Von I Got Cotton In Me Drawers will be back at it way sooner than we want. Believe that.
 
NOTE TO ALL MEMBERS

@Dirty D , The Head Sheep Fucker, is having difficulty posting today on the Hide. I encourage you to degrade him at your leisure while enjoying no imminent retaliation.
That's what happens when you fuck with @Tucker301 and @Lowlight. I'm certain it's just a cowinky dink though.
LMFAO


The Puddle Jumper is locked out!
EPIC:ROFLMAO:
He was just trying to follow your instructions on how to successfully update his avatar......;)
 
OK, just to be clear on everything, no swords were crossed. I wouldn't stoop that low.


He's delusional. He longs to be a Hide Moderator and will take anyone down he perceives as a threat to his goal. He's gun'n fo ya Tuck. Take him down, take him the fuck down !!! :ROFLMAO:

WATCH FROM 2:46 - 5:44 TO SEE WHAT I MEAN. :LOL:


SHAWKS


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FWIW, I have had issues staying logged in from my phone today too. It happens, time to time.
 
The Sheep Fucker and I were trading jabs via texts, yes, we've taken our fuckery to a more personal level. He'll say for his morbid pleasure and I'll say for mine. Anywho, Mr Marlin Spike Seamen Stain was crying about being unable to post today and thought maybe @Lowlight or @Tucker301 might be fucking with him due to him jacking around in another thread about you two crossing 'Swords':oops: at some Moderator Seminar or some damn thing. I dunno, he's fucked up. SURPRISE! :ROFLMAO:
Enjoy the peace while ya can Boys. Jose Von I Got Cotton In Me Drawers will be back at it way sooner than we want. Believe that.
Way to go numb nuts, now LL can't testify to special counsel Mueller that he had "no knowledge of those degenerate bastards debasing this fine forum"
 
So this morning in about round 3 of a light verbal sparring session with my wife she says, “And it would be nice if you would help more with cleaning around the house.”

So I reply “Every morning I do my damndest to piss the shit specks off of the back of the toilet bowl. I suppose that counts for nothing?”

She was not impressed...?
 
So this morning in about round 3 of a light verbal sparring session with my wife she says, “And it would be nice if you would help more with cleaning around the house.”

So I reply “Every morning I do my damndest to piss the shit specks off of the back of the toilet bowl. I suppose that counts for nothing?”

She was not impressed...?
Remind her that people who stand up to piss don't clean...
Then request a sammich.

R