Unbelievable!!!

[Dead Eye Dick]

Done it myself. Thought by waving my hand in front of the door’s motion sensor would activate the door,

But in reality, All’s I was really doing was using the force to move an unmovable wall.

Study Finds 99% Of Men Pretend To Use The Force When Opening, Closing Automatic Doors

CAMBRIDGE, MA — A groundbreaking new study has confirmed what has been suspected for decades, revealing that 99% of all men pretend to use the Force when opening and closing automatic doors.

babylonbee.com

The invention of Agriculture

Necessity IS the mother of invention

Scientists Suggest Prehistoric Women Were Better At Hunting Than Men Because They’d Talk So Much The Animals Would Just Die

WORLD — Scientists are now suggesting that prehistoric women were superior hunters to men, but not due to physical prowess or strategic skills. According to the researchers, it all comes down to one simple factor: their incessant talking.

babylonbee.com

Now we know

Special Note: The original title of this thread was; “It’s true, it’s true.” Which references the second post. This explains @Bender ’s post

 

[Bender]

I thought you just ran into your first black man.

(blazing saddles reference)

 

[Dead Eye Dick]

I thought you just ran into your first black man.

(blazing saddles reference)

Never thought of that one, have to change the title .

 

[hlee]

(Please baby Jeebus. Please make this real. There’s no way that DED thinks “the Bee” is a legit news source. But maybe…)

 

[IronSkillet]

…it was posted in the hide so it must be true

 

[Redlion]

 

[Dead Eye Dick]

(Please baby Jeebus. Please make this real. There’s no way that DED thinks “the Bee” is a legit news source. But maybe…)

And does anyone really think that cnn, foxnews, newsmax, msnbc, cbs, nbc and abc are “legit?”

 

[W54/XM-388]

Actually the article is pretty stupid

Many intelligent men wave their hands or some other object in front of them to activate the motion sensors because they are programmed for stupid slow people and if you are walking like you have a purpose in life the door may not open in time unless you make it detect something sooner.

 

[ironman56]

I just say ,open saysamee and the door opens magically, what's this force they speak of ?

 

[MadDuner]

I just say ,open saysamee and the door opens magically, what's this force they speak of ?

A 5-pound brick is effective if enough velocity is produced in the "waving".

 

[Dead Eye Dick]

A 5-pound brick is effective if enough velocity is produced in the "waving".

But the management tends to frown on doors being destroyed. Better jsut to wave your hand under the motion sensor.

 

[MadDuner]

But the management tends to frown on doors being destroyed. Better jsut to wave your hand under the motion sensor.

What with the negative waves Moriarity.....

 

[oneshot86]

Actually the article is pretty stupid

Many intelligent men wave their hands or some other object in front of them to activate the motion sensors because they are programmed for stupid slow people and if you are walking like you have a purpose in life the door may not open in time unless you make it detect something sooner.

Damn straight

 

[Short-bus]

Done it myself. Thought by waving my hand in front of the door’s motion sensor would activate the door,

But in reality, All’s I was really doing was using the force to move an unmovable wall.

Study Finds 99% Of Men Pretend To Use The Force When Opening, Closing Automatic Doors

CAMBRIDGE, MA — A groundbreaking new study has confirmed what has been suspected for decades, revealing that 99% of all men pretend to use the Force when opening and closing automatic doors.

babylonbee.com

The invention of Agriculture

Necessity IS the mother of invention

Scientists Suggest Prehistoric Women Were Better At Hunting Than Men Because They’d Talk So Much The Animals Would Just Die

WORLD — Scientists are now suggesting that prehistoric women were superior hunters to men, but not due to physical prowess or strategic skills. According to the researchers, it all comes down to one simple factor: their incessant talking.

babylonbee.com

Now we know

That 2nd article i'd never send to my wife, because she'd roll her eyes, and say "that's complete shit, if anyone can talk an animal to death it's you (me)"....and she'd be right. lmao. I know they're both satire, but still.

Branden

 

[Bender]

Your other thread title was much better. Now my comment doesn’t make any sense.

 

[Dead Eye Dick]

Your other thread title was much better. Now my comment doesn’t make any sense.

Fixed it.

 

[Srgt. Hulka]

Never used the Force to open doors, but I have tried the Darth Vader choke hold a few times. I've met quite a few people that need it.

 

[hlee]

 

[Alphatreedog]

A 5-pound brick is effective if enough velocity is produced in the "waving".

But the management tends to frown on doors being destroyed. Better jsut to wave your hand under the motion sensor.

That's why I stopped wavin muh dick .

 

[Franko]

The only difference between the Bee and "mainstream media" is that the Bee gets there about a year ahead of the rest of them.

 

[quietmike]

The only difference between the Bee and "mainstream media" is that the Bee gets there about a year ahead of the rest of them.

And the bee admits they're satire.