Finding a wife
- Thread starter HenryTheAce
- Start date
When a newly married couple were in bed, the man asked, "How many men have you slept with in your life?"
After the question, the woman didn't respond.
The man asked again, "Just tell me, it's fine. How many men have slept with?"
His wife was still in total silence, just staring at the ceiling.
The man then said lovingly, "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to upset you. I just thought that we could trust each other. "
Still silence from his wife.
The man, giving up, said, "It's OK! Please don't be upset!"
Since the woman was still silent, the man started hugging and kissing her, showing his affection.
While he was doing this, his wife seemed to come to her senses, stopped looking at the ceiling, looked at him, and upset, told her husband, "dang it! You made me lose count!"
After the question, the woman didn't respond.
The man asked again, "Just tell me, it's fine. How many men have slept with?"
His wife was still in total silence, just staring at the ceiling.
The man then said lovingly, "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to upset you. I just thought that we could trust each other. "
Still silence from his wife.
The man, giving up, said, "It's OK! Please don't be upset!"
Since the woman was still silent, the man started hugging and kissing her, showing his affection.
While he was doing this, his wife seemed to come to her senses, stopped looking at the ceiling, looked at him, and upset, told her husband, "dang it! You made me lose count!"
said this many times and you are totally correct. "render unto Cesar". helps the gov get their piece and justifies using their lethal police power to force everyone to follow your controlling "moral" code. Islam being built on the combining of church and state. Christianity and Judaism use a 2 sided mutually supporting process to control the population and enrich both. "render unto Cesar" but let our huge churches and multiple property and financial holdings off tax free.
both gov and religion are all,and only,about control,control,control. i always thought that freedom OF religion should also include freedom FROM religion. that varies a lot of course over time and location.
And now for a musical interlude. For something to be funny, there has to be an element of truth to it. Consider that as you enjoy this musical composition on the pleasures of matrimonial bliss.
Lol. To be a human is to be a servant. To only serve yourself (cuz freedum) is the definition of immorality in all it's flavors (both Socratic and theological), and the view of a selfish child.
We choose to whom and what we serve, and THAT is liberty. If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice. Pretend you aren't a slave all you want, but even if you simply follow your desires and deny yourself nothing in the name of freedum you are a slave to these urges and wants. You can't see the forest for the trees.
To be truly free is not to do whatever your urges may demand, but to choose to be a slave to something larger and more meaningful than yourself. I feel very sorry for you that this is nothing but gibberish to you, and hope that someday the scales will fall from your eyes and your blindness flees. You have a lot of growing up to do if you think governments and churches prevent people from being free, when they are the very things that provide liberty. Absent fixed mores and government the life and culture of the body politic is nothing but the strong ruling over the weak totalitarianism. It has never been my experience that the strong who are living in liberty pine for this. It is always the weak, who think they are strong, who want chaos and think they'll emerge as rulers. This is no different than the weak and stupid believing in communism, and that they will be among the oligarchs who own everything including all the people. They think will provide for their every need invariably end up in a menial job and perpetual poverty with no hope of ever bettering themselves.
Your comments have merit. However, I struggled for a reply with a good explanation for the difference between freedom and liberty. I have always known the difference but never thought of a way to explain it. Then I found the article linked below. They explain it better than I can. From the article:
"Liberty and freedom are often used interchangeably in the United States, but they have distinct meanings. Understanding the difference between the two concepts is important because it sheds light on the philosophical underpinnings of American society.
Liberty can be defined as the state of being free within society from oppressive restrictions imposed by authority on one’s way of life, behavior, or political views. It emphasizes the rights of individuals to be left alone and make their own choices without interference from the government or other institutions. The idea of liberty is enshrined in the United States Constitution, which guarantees a number of fundamental freedoms such as freedom of speech, religion, and the press.
Freedom, on the other hand, refers to the ability to act or think as one wants without being hindered by outside forces. It is often associated with the idea of self-determination and the pursuit of happiness. Freedom is a more general concept that can be applied to a wide range of activities, from economic freedom to personal freedom.
The distinction between liberty and freedom is important because it highlights the different ways in which these concepts are valued in American society. Liberty emphasizes the importance of individual rights and the limitations of government power, while freedom is more focused on the ability of individuals to pursue their own interests.
In practice, this can lead to different political ideologies and policies. Libertarians, for example, prioritize individual liberty and limited government intervention, while progressives may place greater emphasis on social and economic freedoms that allow individuals to achieve their potential.
The debate over the relative importance of liberty and freedom in American society is ongoing, and there are no easy answers. However, understanding the difference between these two concepts can help us to better appreciate the complex philosophical foundations of American democracy."
Liberty vs. Freedom: What's the difference? | United We Pledge
Liberty and freedom are often used interchangeably in the United States, but they have distinct meanings. Understanding the difference between the two conce ...
unitedwepledge.org
More important in this discussion is what should people choose; freedom or liberty? If everyone were to choose freedom then there would be no restraints and leads to anarchy. Liberty on the other hand, emphasizes freedom while also respecting the rights of others. I choose liberty.
Maybe that's why Patrick Henry said, "Give me liberty or give me death," instead of "give me freedom or give me death."
Now back to the subject matter of this thread. If a man gets married he loses both his freedom and his liberty.
The unitedwepledge explanation is spot on. I did not care to make a huge post and point out the distinction, but I am hyper aware of it, and I think if you'll reread #814 I have not used the two terms interchangeably, but rather have used the correct one for the distinction that I am making.
Choosing to serve your wife/family (extended family) has benefits and drawbacks like everything else. Choosing to serve your workplace and coworkers is the same. Choosing to serve your country the same. It is as profound and as stark as the difference between running down the stairs on Christmas Morning to see what gifts Santa has brought you, to standing back and watching your own children opening presents. Which one you think is better is entirely a function of wisdom and priorities.
I am pretty sure that by most of the metrics, people "say" they care about, married people eclipse single people by a wide margin. However, again missing the forest for the trees when considering things like gross accumulated wealth, life expectancy, etc. and discounting the less tangible by trying to make a scientific argument about quantifiable benefits. I can't prove satisfaction, comfort, acceptance of my authority within my family, and certainly not love, but pretending these don't exist is to fundamentally misunderstand the choices and relationships vis a vis "serving" and being without responsibility.
Seems like the same people who think faith and laws are systemic oppression and slavery are the same ones who think anything not created and invented after 1990 is myth, superstition, and invalid. These would be the same people who discount experience and wisdom in favor of what wikipedia sez, or that can be searched on Google.
People who have children who they raised successfully in a stable family have also achieved immortality in a physical way that those who do not simply don't and can't understand. When you are no longer the most important person in the world, but live for your children who are part of you, their living beyond you is an incredible blessing and is incredibly comforting leaving out the disposition of your soul entirely. If they don't it is completely crushing in a way that is impossible to convey or understand, and trying is useless.
It is not an accident that leftism/wokism/communism...the panoply of empty ideologies on the left that promise freedom through submission to the state, hate the Christian religion and elevating law above the government. We are watching in real time as the Judiciary betrays the constitution in favor of political and activism over principal. THIS is the only real constitutional crisis in at least the last 50 years, and it is a dire one that Jefferson warned could lead to our destruction. For those who reject social norms and precedent, this is literally all that held it together for almost 250 years, and without that we are certainly going down.
Choosing to serve your wife/family (extended family) has benefits and drawbacks like everything else. Choosing to serve your workplace and coworkers is the same. Choosing to serve your country the same. It is as profound and as stark as the difference between running down the stairs on Christmas Morning to see what gifts Santa has brought you, to standing back and watching your own children opening presents. Which one you think is better is entirely a function of wisdom and priorities.
I am pretty sure that by most of the metrics, people "say" they care about, married people eclipse single people by a wide margin. However, again missing the forest for the trees when considering things like gross accumulated wealth, life expectancy, etc. and discounting the less tangible by trying to make a scientific argument about quantifiable benefits. I can't prove satisfaction, comfort, acceptance of my authority within my family, and certainly not love, but pretending these don't exist is to fundamentally misunderstand the choices and relationships vis a vis "serving" and being without responsibility.
Seems like the same people who think faith and laws are systemic oppression and slavery are the same ones who think anything not created and invented after 1990 is myth, superstition, and invalid. These would be the same people who discount experience and wisdom in favor of what wikipedia sez, or that can be searched on Google.
People who have children who they raised successfully in a stable family have also achieved immortality in a physical way that those who do not simply don't and can't understand. When you are no longer the most important person in the world, but live for your children who are part of you, their living beyond you is an incredible blessing and is incredibly comforting leaving out the disposition of your soul entirely. If they don't it is completely crushing in a way that is impossible to convey or understand, and trying is useless.
It is not an accident that leftism/wokism/communism...the panoply of empty ideologies on the left that promise freedom through submission to the state, hate the Christian religion and elevating law above the government. We are watching in real time as the Judiciary betrays the constitution in favor of political and activism over principal. THIS is the only real constitutional crisis in at least the last 50 years, and it is a dire one that Jefferson warned could lead to our destruction. For those who reject social norms and precedent, this is literally all that held it together for almost 250 years, and without that we are certainly going down.
Our constitution is the greatest governing document ever created. The problem with it is that some people don't follow it.
God created marriage, the greatest institution in the world. The problem is that women and governments don't follow the rules that He spelled out for us.
Until the 19th amendment is repealed and we take feminist judges off the bench in family courts, and abolish the financial incentives women have for divorce, I will remain opposed to marriage.
God created marriage, the greatest institution in the world. The problem is that women and governments don't follow the rules that He spelled out for us.
Until the 19th amendment is repealed and we take feminist judges off the bench in family courts, and abolish the financial incentives women have for divorce, I will remain opposed to marriage.
While good, it was far from perfect and until amended a bunch of times was actually probably about as bad to live under as the British.
Even with that, the writers thought themselves "good folks" and didn't understand they would eventually be "not great" and those that came after them would be "even more not great". They didn't have either the courage or the foresight (but probably the courage or selflessness) to have taken care of a bunch of stuff that later on cost a lot of violence, bloodshed or suffering to fix.
Folks pining for "the good old days" don't have a clue as to how good you have civil rights today compared to almost any other xxx point in the history of this country.
Have a buddy that may have dated her mother for a few years. She had the same eyes, and demeanor.
Although this was obviously staged but is definitely art imitating life. In one form or another, women do this to men all the time.
Oh yeah, the government takes 45% of my annual income in taxes. Property taxes for eternity. When else did we have it so good?
They take more than that!
Women.......women will take your house, your car, your savings, your kids, and your soul! Taxes are way cheaper!
Yes, but its the prime reason one needs to be very careful about saying yes. Marrying for arm candy (aka tits or ass) or cash is a sure fire way to lose everything. The true definition of Divorce, is the fucking you get for the fucking you got.
If you marry for money you end up earning every cent...
Well right after the end of the revolutionary war the greedy bastard politicians in the big cities decided they needed to pay the bankers and foreign kings in a hurry and decided to do figure out how to outdo the British in their evil stamp taxes and go tax all the dirt poor destitute farmers on having the means of production to process their crops into things that could be transported to the cities for sale.
Didn't matter if they were too broke, or had no crops, pay up or men with guns will come for you and your family.
And when the farmers said no...
Oh the government raised an army to go put the boots to them and threaten to slaughter anyone who resisted the new tyrannical taxes.
Also you are mixing up taxation with civil liberties and rights.
Well remember all those stupid politicians people voted for and all that load of garbage about "but it's for the good of the children" or "it's for patriotic defense" or "it's to help those virtuous poor" stuff that so many "good folks" get on their knees and slurp down? Oh right that's how they got you for all those taxes.
Yep.
See Whiskey Rebellion 1794, and the kicker is that old G.W. was a distiller himself.
Of course, if you go to Mt. Vernon these days, there is a whole wall dedicated to "George Washington...the abolitionist"
I used to believe that but I've known plenty of guys who married women they've known for years and years and six months after marriage she changes. Until you're married you don't know.
That is because he did not vet or test her 100% before saying yes. Once you have a life long prospect, only then does true testing begin. Hint, If she will sleep with you before saying yes, your wife finding radar better be in afterburner. If you would/could not trust her with your bank account, that's another clue. The other thing most miss is you are not only marrying her and her baggage, hiding in that baggage is her whole family & friends. Those people & her interactions with them, will tell you more about her than you realize if you read between the lines,...
In our Church having sex before marriage is kind of a big sin, we even get asked about it regularly.
So if anyone is willing to do that well, they are not great... But also going and asking or trying to persuade someone you are dating or is your fiancé to have sex before marriage is kind of considered a pretty big bad thing as well and pretty much will get you kicked to the curb and pretty much blacklisted in social settings or if anyone is asking around about who might be good to consider as a potential spouse.
But even with the rules that are fairly enforced and obeyed about no sex outside marriage, plenty of women still go getting a divorce for various reasons such as "falling out of love" or whatever they come up with.
In my case, at my age range, it's pretty much impossible to find any decent women that have not been married before.
So I kind of start going through the of divorces or widowing events, and finding out by talking to those who are in the know about it, (or even the parties themselves) why it happened and how it went down.
I'd say if you really wanted to know what someone is like at their worst, find out what they were like during a divorce or probate court battle.
If you find out what a woman was like during a divorce, chances are that's a good sign of what she is truly like.
I used to think that way but life has shown me otherwise. Until you're sitting there married with the mortgage and the kids and all the stress and other shit you don't know exactly what the other person will do. Sometimes people who are shitbags will shape up and sometimes people who are solid fall apart.
17 pages. Holy shit! I bet more than half of the weddings that have happened since page 1 are already seeking divorces.
Yeah, and all those men came out worse and all the women came out better because of it!
You can love, you can fuck, you can have fun.....just dont marry! If you want kids, just go adopt!
I feel bad for young men today. Most will never have a lifetime of true love from a woman.
^^^ 100%. That is why my current wife and I based our marriage on five pillars (if you want to call it that...we don't).
-Faith
-Finances (are they going to put you into debt/ how are their spending habits and are they manageable with yours)
-Family (want kids etc..)
-Politics (includes guns, abortion, etc... pick the most polarizing shit on T.V. and discuss it to see if you'll be at each other's throats soon)
-Goals (where are you going to live / when are you going to retire).
If you have those nailed down, you can survive the mortgage arguments as well as the other various crises that are going to throw a wrench in your otherwise perfectly planned marriage. Don't settle for 4:5 either... that 5th one will dominate your marriage with arguments.
**************
Also want to add to pay attention to how they interact with their parents and other loved ones...especially during stressful times. My first wife and her mom got into scream fights after about 3 hours of being together. I was too stupid to know at the time that I was going to become a surrogate for mom when I married her.
Current wife of 11 years has raised her voice to me 3 times. She has a fantastic relationship with her parents too.
I don't see the one in there where your wife gets bored with your ass and starts fucking some other dude or walks away. Most of the time it is the wife that initiates divorce. 11 years, you're pretty close to the point where shes probably had enough of your shit, and pastures start looking greener. I hope not, and i'm 100% not wishing that on you at all. There is no secret reciepe or 5 pillars. Women have liberty and choices today, when her current man no longer hits all the marks she wants, it is on to the next. There is no harm or damage that she has to occur as a result. She will get the children and the financial backing supported by the man. What is the motivation to NOT divorce?
I have been involved in so many conversations with divorced, single women and the phrase I hear over and over....."I got rid of him"! When I hear that term I'm pretty much done with the conversation. I don't care the reasons, why, what happened. When the person you married, dated or loved becomes a disposable item I start to draw a lot of conclusions.
I've seen children do some shit things to parents, moms, women and never once have I heard the term......"I got rid of them". You know why that bond works with kids despite shitty things that occur, because you HAVE TO FUCKING WORK AT IT! I guess in my mind that is what marriage should look like. A bond for life. I mean most people actually stand in front of family and friends and make that promise.
Dumb men with continue to marry women. I'm sure 5-10% of those will last a life time and that is awesome. Most won't, and the result for the man when it doesn't looks gross to me!
Like I have said, have sex, love women, you can even co-habitat, just don't marry them. Understand that if you want children they can provide that for you, but just know that is a 24 year loan you are securing with that woman. You can't default on that loan with her and you can't walk away from it. Better make sure that is the loan officer you want to deal with when things go south. Also, in some form or another you will be dealing with that same loan officer for you or child's life.
I wish things weren't the way they are today, but they are!
I'm not young and have never experienced true love from a woman. I was stupid for thinking that I had married the right one but they all pretended to be something they are not until they get the ring on their finger.
It's not only the fact that older men like me are telling the younger men to avoid marriage but they see it for themselves.
The younger men look at the divorce statistics and see how women their age act and decide that marriage isn't for them. They see for themselves that 80% of the women initiate divorces. It goes up to 90% if they are college educated.
I had the feminism BS rammed down my throat ever since the 1960s. It was non-stop. I was too stupid to think that the feminist philosophy wouldn't affect marriage but it did.
The younger men have looked at the past history of feminism and felt its sting in the educational system, employment, business and culture. They have a better view of a woman's mindset then their older brethren ever did. They want no part of it.
That's why marriage has declined and will continue to fall.
I never asked for the divorces and drank the Kool-Aid trying to repair the marriage which was wasted effort. Not only that, doing the right thing and trying to reconcile only feeds into a woman's ego thinking that they are high value and can do better.
After a few years, I realized that I'm truly free. I've never felt better and doing things that I wanted to do when I was in my twenties. I've never been in a prison with walls and iron bars. However, I think I know how a man feels when he's let out of prison.
My money, possessions and time are my own. I don't have to share them with anyone who doesn't give two Hershey squirts about me. There is finally peace in my life. Younger men see that and don't want their peace stolen.
The only things that will save marriage besides God intervening will be...
1) Repealing the 19th Amendment. That laid the foundation for women taking over everything in society. Even male judges are afraid to incur the wrath of the female electorate. Pearl Davis laid out an excellent argument for why women should not vote. Because men are subject to the draft and women aren't then only the men should have the power to decide who their representatives should be. Remember that Congress has the power to declare war and activate the draft. Men should have the power to decide who the Commander-In-Chief should be if they are drafted and have to follow his orders. It goes without saying that the divorces laws favor the women, who have been a major factor in deciding who writes those laws.
2) Abolish alimony and child support. Get rid of the financial incentive for divorce. After all, women wanted equal rights. They're strong and independent until the dinner check arrives, a tire needs changed, a spider is in the room and the walk into divorce court.
3) Get government out of the business of regulating marriage. Marriage is a contract, which is overseen by the government. Whoever has the power to regulate also has the power to destroy. The divorce laws are written to favor women. There is an incentive to destroy the marriage. If it's a contract regulated by the government then the aggrieved party in a broken contract should be compensated. Yet that doesn't happen for men, who are usually the aggrieved party.
I see you found the wrong one the first time as well. If wife #1 screwed around on me during my first marriage, I guess I'll never know.
I'll never say "never", but my current wife was voted 'most conceited' in high school because she is so unapproachable. It is a trait that I don't mind. Her social circle consists of me, and her one, single friend (an equally unapproachable lawyer lady, who was equally disliked in their school as they were classmates). The kicker is that my current wife doesn't think she's better than anyone else.
The truth is, I was the one with the 'wandering eye' so to speak when I was younger. I'm much more social, and for many years it was difficult for ME to keep my dick in my pants. Women were a sport, in that the chase was where I found the fun, and it became addicting for many years.
As wife #2 brought me back to Christ, I started the long struggle of killing my old self off, and replacing with the new me. I know the gift (of her) that has been put in front of me, so I'll not mess this up...I don't care how hot or tempting some random woman is in front of me. It will never be worth the loss of my wife, my walk with God, or the effort I've put into becoming a better version of me.
If wife #2 decides to abandon her stout faith and engage in infidelity (the reason for her divorce was that her first husband ran around on her)...then I'll pick up the pieces and start my life over again as a single man. At least it'll be a much more improved version of me than I was 15 years ago. I'm not going to be worried about this possibility though as I have no control over it.
If you asked me how many women I slept with, I couldn't give you an exact answer...somewhere between 50 - 100. A shit ton of alcohol was involved in my early 20s. However I'd trade all of those experiences with random women to have met wife #2, 15 years sooner in life.
When you've met a woman like that, you've found the right wife.
Yes the gubmint has legalized it, made it a contract. Contracts are made for the event it is broken.
So in the Bible we see that God instituted marriage. I think He invented it. He calls it a covenant.
Study that word in historical context. Death is often involved, figurative or literal. The single me had to effectively die.
I suppose the trick is to find a woman who actually believes the same, much like @diggler1833 stated earlier. Yeah, easier said than done, especially with the infection of feminism that is so prevalent.
But it is possible.
They are the ultimate shape-shifters. They are like a liquid which takes the shape of whatever container it is poured in. They can never be trusted.
What a complicated subject!
Unfortunately many families are damaged from sin so bad, maybe even generationally cursed, that if we/I were married into that family, or in the men's case/our case, that there is little hope of having a successful marriage.
I was that guy. I met my first wife in church but I was too young and dumb/ignorant to see the warning signs and thought no matter what that God could help us work things out.
My FIL was a nice old fart however still a little strange but my MIL was a psycho as I found out later on. Being Polish my FIL had sponsored his wife, my MIL, from the old country/Poland, and her mother and father to the USA.
Keeping it short he literally called her the devil because she caused him constant grief. He hated her. This devil's husband built himself a room in the basement and locked himself in there, rarely coming out, to avoid the crazy bitch. I'm not kidding.
Their daughter, my wife, put on a front while we were engaged which was somewhat of a trick, and shortly after getting married she started getting weird.
Only a few months later she left for 3 weeks to visit her dad which became a pattern in her life which was leaving/traveling as much as she could get away with.
She became the most narcissistic person I've ever known and by that I mean nobody has come even close to her to this day. I could go on for days telling all kinds of bizarre stories.
I was in my mind married for life and trying to keep the family together because we had three kids. I tried and there was no fixing it.
The last straw for me was when she had an affair with my best friend 'at that time'. One week I was sleeping in my bed and two weeks later I was knocking on the door of my own house to pick up my kids. Just like that I was substituted for another. It was devastating! Only God helped me through this trial because the pain and anger was almost too much. I eventually forgave her and him by the Grace of God!
Just a few stories;
When my ex and my ex friend were gone I went to the house to finish picking up the remaining tools for work. On the back porch my old FIL who the ex was taking care of because of dimensia(and BTW stealing his money too) saw me, and began to sob apologizing to me about his crazy daughters behavior and said he missed me. That was so sad and I felt bad for him being stuck in that situation. He hated adultery because his ex, my ex's mother, had committed adultery on him which he was never able to forgive her for.
She got power of attorney, he died, and she absconded/stole her siblings inheritance.
That's not all, there's more, JK, but there seriously was a lot more and it's been never ending.
Anyway my 2nd wife of 20 years has been the best wife ever. I couldn't have found a nicer one and I say that with all my heart! She's a saint and a lovely person.
She had a nice mother and father too and was taught how a woman should act as well as being a strong believer in God.
We've never even been in an argument, are best friends, and it will be more painful for me if she dies first than the ex ever caused.
I love you Robin!!!!!
Unfortunately many families are damaged from sin so bad, maybe even generationally cursed, that if we/I were married into that family, or in the men's case/our case, that there is little hope of having a successful marriage.
I was that guy. I met my first wife in church but I was too young and dumb/ignorant to see the warning signs and thought no matter what that God could help us work things out.
My FIL was a nice old fart however still a little strange but my MIL was a psycho as I found out later on. Being Polish my FIL had sponsored his wife, my MIL, from the old country/Poland, and her mother and father to the USA.
Keeping it short he literally called her the devil because she caused him constant grief. He hated her. This devil's husband built himself a room in the basement and locked himself in there, rarely coming out, to avoid the crazy bitch. I'm not kidding.
Their daughter, my wife, put on a front while we were engaged which was somewhat of a trick, and shortly after getting married she started getting weird.
Only a few months later she left for 3 weeks to visit her dad which became a pattern in her life which was leaving/traveling as much as she could get away with.
She became the most narcissistic person I've ever known and by that I mean nobody has come even close to her to this day. I could go on for days telling all kinds of bizarre stories.
I was in my mind married for life and trying to keep the family together because we had three kids. I tried and there was no fixing it.
The last straw for me was when she had an affair with my best friend 'at that time'. One week I was sleeping in my bed and two weeks later I was knocking on the door of my own house to pick up my kids. Just like that I was substituted for another. It was devastating! Only God helped me through this trial because the pain and anger was almost too much. I eventually forgave her and him by the Grace of God!
Just a few stories;
When my ex and my ex friend were gone I went to the house to finish picking up the remaining tools for work. On the back porch my old FIL who the ex was taking care of because of dimensia(and BTW stealing his money too) saw me, and began to sob apologizing to me about his crazy daughters behavior and said he missed me. That was so sad and I felt bad for him being stuck in that situation. He hated adultery because his ex, my ex's mother, had committed adultery on him which he was never able to forgive her for.
She got power of attorney, he died, and she absconded/stole her siblings inheritance.
That's not all, there's more, JK, but there seriously was a lot more and it's been never ending.
Anyway my 2nd wife of 20 years has been the best wife ever. I couldn't have found a nicer one and I say that with all my heart! She's a saint and a lovely person.
She had a nice mother and father too and was taught how a woman should act as well as being a strong believer in God.
We've never even been in an argument, are best friends, and it will be more painful for me if she dies first than the ex ever caused.
I love you Robin!!!!!
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That's sounds horrible. I do not care to worship with people who lack humility and therefore wisdom: i.e. people believe they are the "good" people.
None are good, no not one.
There are no big or small sins. There are no saints. All fall short. We are all sinners.
Which one of these does your pastor resemble?
When does thinking about a sin become a sin? — James 1:14-15
When does thinking about a sin become a sin? The answer is given by three important illustrations and the biblical principle from Scriptures.
www.neverthirsty.org
I can't even imagine what it's like going to church with actual saints who don't sin. Talk about not fitting in! Unlike those saints, who reject each other based on levels of sin, I know I'm a sinner. I don't think I'd like worshiping there at all. My beliefs are based on faith and grace alone, and IMO you cannot get there without the essential virtue of humility. Almost everything flows from humility, and without that you are no better than the guys above.
That's why I always laugh at the Man Cave crap. You paid for the majority of the house and now you hide in the garage with a pile of junk.
I have a died in the wool single friend who has a funny personality. He's mid 70's and has had one serious relationship his whole life but he never married her. She did him wrong........
I get a kick being at his place because his whole everything is manland! Who else has expensive vintage motorcycles, RC stuff, guns of all types, and a knife collection not a few yards from his kitchen and living area.
That doesn't include his bar area, 20'x60' shop, and the 40 acres he lives on which is a shooting range. 1143Y out his front door into the FS and almost 500Y out back - steel everywhere!
He's a riot!
That's sounds horrible. I do not care to worship with people who lack humility and therefore wisdom: i.e. people believe they are the "good" people.
None are good, no not one.
There are no big or small sins. There are no saints. All fall short. We are all sinners.
Which one of these does your pastor resemble?
View attachment 8682225
When does thinking about a sin become a sin? — James 1:14-15
When does thinking about a sin become a sin? The answer is given by three important illustrations and the biblical principle from Scriptures.
I can't even imagine what it's like going to church with actual saints who don't sin. Talk about not fitting in! Unlike those saints, who reject each other based on levels of sin, I know I'm a sinner. I don't think I'd like worshiping there at all. My beliefs are based on faith and grace alone, and IMO you cannot get there without the essential virtue of humility. Almost everything flows from humility, and without that you are no better than the guys above.
I didn't realize mentioning no sex outside of marriage would get you quite so worked up.
If you read the Bible, both the old and new Testaments, you will see that there is actually a fair bit of a difference in how serious a sin is and a difference between sins and transgressions.
I'll dare say that even you consider some crimes (which are sins in God's eyes) to be worse than others. It's doubtful you would honestly say that all crimes that someone does are equal. (Sins could be essentially explained to someone not familiar with religion as willfully disobeying the laws of God).
Both the laws of Moses and also the writings of various leaders in the New Testament do in fact make a distinction that some sins are more serious than others, especially if you cause harm to others or violate sacred covenants you have made.
Jesus Christ put paid to that as well when He clearly states that all sins can be forgiven, except 1 specific sin.
Nobody in our Church is perfect, we all make mistakes, we probably all from time to time have transgressions, perhaps sometimes even sins.
But we try our best to do what would make Heavenly Father happy and repent and rely on the forgiveness of Jesus Christ when we fail to do as we should.
That being said it's an ancient heresy that because you are forgiven you can go on willfully sinning as much as you want and continuing in your sins without repenting of them, and have no consequences ever.
In our Church, unlike many others, we do take the Commandments in both the Old and New Testament regarding not having sex outside marriage seriously. We make sacred covenants with God to obey Commandments such as being faithful to Jesus Christ and also keeping the law of Chasity. Willfully violating sacred covenants and promises you made with God is a bit more of a matter than many other transgressions or sins.
That we are asked about it from time to time, should come as no surprise to anyone.
We here now, are on a forum about guns, well anytime you go buy a gun from an FFL, you willingly fill out a questionnaire from the Federal Government asking if you have obeyed and kept certain laws even if many of us think those are stupid.
You willingly sign and certify under penalty for lying that you have kept the various laws of the government.
You'll find many the "good folks" not very happy on here if you lie about it, just look at how many folks condemned Hunter Biden for lying on that form and doing something the government said he shouldn't.
The Bishop of our congregation is one of the kindest, most selfless, most loving and caring and compassionate person you will ever meet.
But he can't excuse willful violations of sacred covenants that you do not repent of and sincerely change your ways.
Let me ask you a question:
If one of your children or grandchildren or similar went to go play at a friend's house and came back and told you that said friend wanted them to do drugs together or wanted them to go drinking or stealing or looking at pornography together, would you let your child/grandchild/etc go back to that same house to go play with that same person?
If any of your friends were asking if it's fine to send their children/grandchildren/etc over to xxx house to play with xxx would you encourage them to do so, or would you say nothing, or would you warn them that they shouldn't let their children be associated with that person until the issue is resolved and the behaviour/situation corrected?
Don't many parents/grandparents and others warn their children/grandchildren/others that if a "friend" offers or entices you to do things such as listed above, they should leave immediately and report back to the parents and not associate with that other child until further notice?
In our Church we take the law of Chastity very seriously, it is a Sacred Covenant we make with God, specifically that we don't have sexual relations with another person outside of a marriage (that is proper in the laws of God, regardless of if the laws of the land allow marriages that are against the laws of God).
Willfully violating the Law of Chastity and the covenant you have made is taken as a serious matter, especially if it is repeatedly and if you are enticing others to do the same.
So of course, if a person was to try to convince someone they were seeing / dating / friends with / etc, to have sexual relations before they are married that is a very wrong thing to do and most likely that would end the friendship / hanging out / etc for good, or at least a long time until the person repented and proved that they had changed their ways.
And of course, the person who was offered the temptation to sin would of course warn others not to be in a situation with the person who was the tempter, for their own safety and security.
Chances are it would also be reported to the local Bishop who would council the person doing the tempting that they need to repent and change their ways and ask Jesus Christ to help them be better.
If the person repented and changed their ways, then that's one thing, but if they refused to repent / apologize and continued doing so again, then they will probably find their social circle pretty limited.
The thoughts in your head are another matter, that is between you and Heavenly Father.
Satan will tempt you all the time, and you aren't responsible for who comes knocking at your door, only for who you invite in and start chatting with.
Many have private struggles with any number of kinds of impure or wrong thoughts, that's really between them and God, unless they feel they need help and ask for help and support. Nobody in our Church is going to condemn you for your private struggles with thoughts and temptations.
I understand many Christians today are all about the philosophy of they can willfully do and go on doing most anything they wish without consequence or censure or reproof because "we are forgiven" But that's not correct.
You will find that members of our Church are some of the most caring, most loving and most forgiving people around.
But we don't love the sin, we love the sinner (as we all are sinners, forgiven only by The Atonement of Jesus Christ). We don't justify or condone sin, rather we all work together to all become better and be as Jesus Christ would want us to be. That often means regularly repenting of small sins / mistakes / transgressions and helping lift each other up.
I'll bet that I could list a whole bunch of laws or moral things that if someone in your circle of friends or your extended family did and didn't repent of and kept willfully doing, you would no longer associate with them. There are probably even some acts regarding sexuality that would cause you to not only disassociate yourself with them because of but even perhaps try to get them in trouble for or at least warn others of.
So all that to say,
If in our Church you were to try to seduce others to have sex outside of marriage, you probably will find your dating life coming to an abrupt halt for a good while. Trust is an important thing and when you break trust, it takes a long time to earn it back. People won't want to date or marry or be alone with someone who is untrustworthy when it comes to their safety or Chastity.
And I'm not going to apologize for that at all, it's the way it should be.
It's also the way it was up until the modern infatuation with making sin a virtue.
A marriage based upon Tits, Ass or Cash is doomed from the start. I kicked every prospect to the curb, that would open her legs before taking vows, as soon as they said yes, or moved in that direction.
One of the reasons I married late in life (27) as it took me a long time to find the right one, but the wait was more than worth it,...
One of the reasons I married late in life (27) as it took me a long time to find the right one, but the wait was more than worth it,...
I know a guy who did the complete opposite, after his separation he bought a tiny house in this mountaintop park that turned out to be over 55 so he had to lie about his age lol. He's got this huge fucking truck and a dune buggy and they let him have his dog there too even though it's over the park animal weight limit. He lives in an old people trailer park and has more freedom than when he was married.
It's not adultery that has me worked up. Nor would I attend any church that endorses or excuses ANY sin. BUT, to put them in a hiarchy and apply man's societal mores and laws vis a vis the Covenant is wrong. That isn't how God looks at our sin. That isn't how Christ considers our need for salvation. We are filthy and unholy before God to the point that he cannot even look upon us, all of us. NONE ARE GOOD, NO NOT ONE. Once you start to place a hierarchy upon sin you start to buy the stairway. "Well, I'm no Jesus and without sin, but I'm much better than that guy over there!" Wrong. All fall short. None are worthy on their own, and that is exactly how Jesus taught us to regard each other. Man is fallen, and he's not going to get up on his own. So saying that some are better than others is like saying, well that guys legs are broken in thirty places, but that other guy's legs are only broken at the knees. It's not a distinction we are even supposed to make, and if you do you are that much further from understand the necessity for us to not do it through works, and to not try to do it on our own. That no one man's sins are greater than another, and Jesus told many parables to demonstrate just how different God's view of both sin and justice are from our own. If that weren't the case he would not have told us categorically not to cast a stone.
You are reading into the Bible what isn't there. While Paul specifies certain sins are more corrosive and deleterious to the church, he is not placing them in any kind of bad to worst hiarchy specifically, and Christ did not do that AT ALL. In fact, the only thing that actually pissed him off was was blaspheming and apostacy in God's own house. Everything else he pretty much took in stride, and we can speculate on why that is, but I think most theologies think that's pretty obvious.
As for your apostacy (license to sin), of course, but the "why" is even more important than actually "not sinning". Are you not sinning because it is against The Law? There are churches who believe that once you are saved your sinful nature departs and you don't sin, and if you do they say you were never really saved in the first place. This is problematic at all levels. I do not ascribe to that theology AT ALL. No grace. Or, are are you refraining from acting on your sinful thoughts because you love Jesus and no longer want to sin and displease Him? Grace. Putting human law, human politics, and human morality on-top of The Law, and on top of Grace is literally the precursor to a works philosophy. You can't have a works philosophy without that, and you can't have a grace theology with it.
You keep saying that. It isn't Biblical. There ARE NO SMALL sins, and we are fallen and in need of redemption. There are none that are in more or less need of redemption. None that are a little sinful and some that are a lot. There is NO evil or sin in God or Christ. None at all. The test and the mark is absolute purity, and till you understand that it's pass/fail, pure or impure, there is no redemption. The blood covers us and we become white only through faith and love, and before that we are all as black as coal, not shades of gray, and not in degrees.
Ask any pastor and they will tell you that it is a great deal easier to get a bad person to come to Christ than it is one who believes themselves to be good. In fact, that measuring yourself against others and not against perfection (Pride and lack of humility) may be the most impossible obstacle for many "good" people to overcome. You can't use any of man's measuring sticks, only God's, and that one is ridged and unforgiving, and if you fall short you are out. All fall short.
I've said it many times, because I was that guy, and the man who showed my the way probably repeated, "None are good, no not one", to me a thousand times before I actually understood what that meant. There is a ton of mystery, and no one understands completely or completely agrees, and that's ok, but there are big things that Jesus hits you with over and over with, and the need for humility, and understanding how every single person is in dire need of grace is not one of them. That one is clear.
You are right about not accepting sin. But you are wrong that I try to dissociate myself from sinners, because not only am I one, I know that I am no better or worse than they are. I'm just infinitely stronger than they are because I'm not trying to do it off my meager internal power supply. I'm hooked up to a limitless nuclear plant with infinite fuel, and I know it, and I am humbled by it, and I am commanded to try to get them to hook up too, and I'm not going to do that by driving them away or cutting them off. You have to do it sometimes, just as Christ told his apostles to kick the dust off their sandals, but it's a last resort, not a first.
I don't think we completely disagree, and I totally get your point about dating within your church (much less adultery among the married), but I guess it's the inartful way you put it that didn't sound like the tolling of bells to me, but rather more like a clank. Pride is probably the most dangerous and common sin among the faithful, and believing you are without sin, you are just, and you are holy is the most obvious and overt sign of it. Think about Paul in the early letters placing himself just below the Apostles. By his last ones he's chastising the Apostles for refusing to sit with those who don't keep kosher, and he's calling himself "The Chief Sinner". This is the clearest example of Paul growing in his faith, wisdom, and understanding. As all of that grows so too does his humility, and pride becomes less and less of a problem for him. Don't forget, Paul started out a Pharisee believing himself to be holy, just, and higher than all the "ordinary" people. It took him quite a while, even after accepting Grace, to fully get that under control and have the full humility that is required to accept what he really was. It's the same journey we all make, and it is fraught with peril and we must always guard against lest anyone boast.
And that has been the homily for today!
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