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Fish Stories

Coloradocop

Sergeant
Full Member
Minuteman
Oct 17, 2010
164
1
44
Front Range of Colorado
I swear, shooting sports are filled with more grossly overinflated stories of misplaced machismo than any other activity on the planet (including fishing). It seems like I can't talk about shooting for more than five minutes without finding someone who is completely full of crap, but still wants to peddle their "knowledge", while supposedly showing off their alleged expertise.

Here are three fine examples of this BS, and two of them involve other police officers I work with:

1) One of our guys is also a fairly high ranking officer in the Air National Guard, and a huge bragger. He went off to training for a couple of weeks, and came back bragging about the great new M4 he was issued, and how accurate it was. He claimed he was shooting "quarter sized groups at 300 yards all day long", with "10 or more shots inside of a quarter at any given time". Further explanation indicated that this was with a box-stock military issued gun, open sights, while shooting various positions (no bipod, of course). By the way, this guy's military job has something to do with intelligence or translation, or something like that... he isn't a professional shooter.

2) Another one of our guys heard me talking about precision shooting with another officer this evening. He chimed in about how he doesn't need to practice since he "hit a coyote on the run at 850 yards with my .30-06 this fall". Further conversation revealed he's shooting what appears to be a stock Remington 700 hunting rifle, with unknown optics. Also sounds like he doesn't shoot from a bipod or bench. Regardless, some quick math in JBM puts that at about 7.2 mils of elevation, and around 10.9 mils of lead (assuming a conservative 15mph target speed). Now, I'm not saying that there aren't some shooters out there who *might* pull that shot off, but they're few and far between, and are certainly not the guys who shoot stock hunting rifles that they 'don't need to practice with'.

3) The guy working at my local Bass Pro Shops is so full of crap that he doesn't even come close to sounding legitimate. He claims that he shoots dimes "all day long" at 500-600 yards from a standing unsupported position using the Savage rifle he bought for $350. He thinks the rest of us are foolish for spending real money on guns.

Seriously, people sure are stupid. Now, I'll freely admit that I'm not a betting man. Nevertheless, I've yet to have any of these INCREDIBLE shooters take me up on an offer for a complementary $100 bill if they were able to demonstrate this skill for me.

Talk is cheap, but there sure seems to be a lot of it in this sport.

Am I the only one who has noticed this?
 
Re: Fish Stories

I AM a betting man, quite the gambler actually. I will shoot against someone for money in a minute....mostly those guys you are talking about. You and I might be touch and go in a shooting match
smile.gif
But I would still lay my money down.
 
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I shot tacks out of a target at 10 yards with my Umarex MP5. But that gun is everything I ever dreamed about. As for bogus shooting stories, I had a friend shooting my 308 at 100 yards, he shot about 5 round barely even hit the target and he said, "your sights are off this gun sucks!" Then I shot a 1.25" group with the same rifle. He don't talk much about rifles screwing up anymore.
 
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I think everyone has associated like that . I've got a buddy of mine that claims he can put 9 buckshot in a piece of notebook paper at over 200 yards.? I'm not so sure.
 
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1) I think the AMU wants their gun back
laugh.gif
You should mention that the military standard is 3-4 MOA and the 25m reduced target for qual shooting does not a quarter make at 300m, but 12" at that distance. Similarly, he might be off by 50m on a short land nav course, but he'd be much further off the further he goes.

2) It could happen with a bad zero and a confluence of events that he didn't factor, but unlikely.

3) There's, or was, a "Navy SEAL" at Specialty Sports in COS who had some dingled up hand which is obviously a birth defect.
 
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My idiot step daughter had a boy friend who came over one day telling me about his great shooting feats. Uses a 30-30 with iron sights.

Tells me he he can shoot pop bottle lids from the porch to the barn all day long (about 40 yeads). Does it all the time.

I went to the bank and got a wad full of cash. Told him I'd give him $50 for every one he hit, and he only had to give me $20 for every one he missed. Even offered to let him shoot any of my target rifles he wanted (most are more then capable of hitting pop bottle lids at 40 yards.

He went home without trying. Never mentioned shooting again. I was talking to one of my Sheriff Dupty buddies and mention this story. He just laughed and said the guy was a convicted felon and couldn't even have a gun.

When it comes to shooting (and most other things) my theory is "You brag about the bird dog AFTER the hunt".

As a side note, my step daughter dumped this idiot and got a worse one which she married.
 
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While I'm just getting started in this sport, and am no where near the level most of you folks are. I started a thread about "long range" shooting on another website that I frequent. It's an antique farm machinery sight populated with "straight shooters" if you'll forgive the pun. Some of the tall tales that were replied really go beyond reason.
 
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I could have saved the seals a trip to Osama's hide out in Astan by shooting him from my front porch here in Virginia, but didnt want to steal their glory.

Truth.
 
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<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: kraigWY</div><div class="ubbcode-body">My idiot step daughter had a boy friend who came over one day telling me about his great shooting feats. Uses a 30-30 with iron sights.

Tells me he he can shoot pop bottle lids from the porch to the barn all day long (about 40 yeads). Does it all the time.

I went to the bank and got a wad full of cash. Told him I'd give him $50 for every one he hit, and he only had to give me $20 for every one he missed. Even offered to let him shoot any of my target rifles he wanted (most are more then capable of hitting pop bottle lids at 40 yards.

He went home without trying. Never mentioned shooting again. I was talking to one of my Sheriff Dupty buddies and mention this story. He just laughed and said the guy was a convicted felon and couldn't even have a gun.

When it comes to shooting (and most other things) my theory is "You brag about the bird dog AFTER the hunt".

As a side note, my step daughter dumped this idiot and got a worse one which she married.</div></div> sounds like that worked out well for you...lol
 
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I usually give them a test when I hear a story about shooting a deer at 700 yards ( or 800, it is invariably one of the two, for some reason).

The test goes something like this:

"Really? Wow, what a great shot!!! How high did you have to hold over him?"

(now the hole begins to deepen - answer is ALWAYS the same, regardless of true yardage)

" Why, I held about six inches over the top of his back, hit him right in the boiler room"

"Hmmm, something is not right here.... either you possess a rifle of previously unobtainable velocity, firing bullets that don't obey the laws of physics....Or.... you are a lying cocksucker. Which is it?? Let's look at this handy ballistics computer on my iphone and see, shall we? I think the correct hold is closer to ten feet (it's acutally 12.5 ft for a 118LR round, but I don't tell them that just yet), lets find out."

I've never had one stick around long enough to get FTE started on my phone. But, they didn't admit to being a LCS either.... maybe they are still in the closet and afraid to come out?

But it works good for removing them from your immediate area, and seeing them avoid you like Superman avoids kryptonite whenever you see them again.
 
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My best group at 1K is .265". Of course, the second shot opened it up a bit.
 
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<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: EddieNFL</div><div class="ubbcode-body">My best group at 1K is .265". Of course, the second shot opened it up a bit. </div></div>

^^ I LOL'd
 
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Took a kid from school out shooting last semester, he obviously spends a lot of time on forums like this because he could not only hold a decent conversation about ballistics and gear but he could also add to my 'decent' knowledge base. He said that he didn't have any rifles in town they were all at his folks place so I set him up behind a R 700 action (same action he says he has at home). The kid was fumbling around trying to figure out the safety....

REALLY!

He could shoot decent but never once touched the scope to adjust fire just used his good ol' KY the whole time.

needless to say we haven't been out since
 
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<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: EddieNFL</div><div class="ubbcode-body">My best group at 1K is .265". Of course, the second shot opened it up a bit. </div></div>

I'm totally using that line the next time I hear those guys telling their trophy tales... I'm not quite as good as you though, since my best 1K group to date was 0.308", right up until the second shot
wink.gif
 
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<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Mikee Booshay</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I usually give them a test when I hear a story about shooting a deer at 700 yards ( or 800, it is invariably one of the two, for some reason).

The test goes something like this:

"Really? Wow, what a great shot!!! How high did you have to hold over him?"

(now the hole begins to deepen - answer is ALWAYS the same, regardless of true yardage)

" Why, I held about six inches over the top of his back, hit him right in the boiler room"

"Hmmm, something is not right here.... either you possess a rifle of previously unobtainable velocity, firing bullets that don't obey the laws of physics....Or.... you are a lying cocksucker. Which is it?? Let's look at this handy ballistics computer on my iphone and see, shall we? I think the correct hold is closer to ten feet (it's acutally 12.5 ft for a 118LR round, but I don't tell them that just yet), lets find out."

I've never had one stick around long enough to get FTE started on my phone. But, they didn't admit to being a LCS either.... maybe they are still in the closet and afraid to come out?

But it works good for removing them from your immediate area, and seeing them avoid you like Superman avoids kryptonite whenever you see them again.

</div></div>

I always think about asking what their hold over was knowing most these guys shoot with a duplex type scope and wouldn't have a clue what hold over they would need or what they would need to dial if they bothered to take the caps off. Instead I just nod ans smile and will make them put their money where their mouth is at a later date...
 
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M. Booshay is right.... it always seems to be 700 or 800 yards. Had a conversation about that in a gunshop a few years ago.
 
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<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: nashlaw</div><div class="ubbcode-body">M. Booshay is right.... it always seems to be 700 or 800 yards. Had a conversation about that in a gunshop a few years ago. </div></div>

I definitely agree with that. I guess these story tellers just figure that 500-600 yards is for children, and 1,000 yards is too far to sound believable (not that their stories ever do anyway).
 
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I just look and smile and go,"Really?" "No kidding" and keep the look that states, dude you are so full of shit...
It took me, no shit, damn near four years of year round practice in cold, warm, wet, snow, to get my rifle to shoot CONSISTENTLY into a 1.5" hole at 300M. A year long deployment to A-Stan made it all go away. Now, I am lucky to get 10 rounds to stick into a 2.5" circle, but I think with the USO on the GAP/AI it will be a lot easier once I get the rounds and the rifle dialed in with some testing for optimal load.
This upcoming hunting season, I shall be competing with middle son and his twistedly accurate .222 with my M14 DMR on pigs and deer. I think 300M will be fine for me, but he may need to work at it since he has only doped to 100M