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Sidearms & Scatterguns wife self defense weapon...

Re: wife self defense weapon...

I bought my wife the S&W 351 PD which is a 7 shot 22 magnum revolver. The 22mag is a nasty round that tends to bounce around inside whoever is shot and does lots of damage. She's quite comfortable with it and knows how to use it and I feel good about it protecting her until she can grab the 12 gage 870. It's pricey at $600 plus but well worth it.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

I guess I would decide if she is willing to carry and shoot the weapon enough to be confident. If you are talking just in the home I would get a 20 ga youth model shotgun and load it with #4 buck and she is all set. My wife is of similar build and really likes the small revolvers. I know you said she is not a fan but have her give them a try.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

One thing I tried to impress upon my wife, and remember myself, is the objective is self defense, not gun ownership. This should be scary, you're about to kill someone with it.

I encouraged her to think about the moment of an attack, what would be important to her then, how much time would she have, what would the attack look like. When she envisioned that moment instantly stopping the threat, preferably in their tracks, was her number one priority.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: CaptRob</div><div class="ubbcode-body">My wife carries a LCP with a Crimson laser and loves it. She even bought a special purse that has a pocket on the end of the purse that conceals it. It even has a guarantee that if you have to you can shoot with the pistol still in the purse and they will replace the purse. The only problem I have found is the LCP doesn't like to be dirty. </div></div>

^^^^^^ This!
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

Been round and round with the wife on this one. She was the same way. Not petit, but she's more recoil sensitive than a 4 year old. Also, many women not privy to firearms have different, and even odd sounding or impossible criteria to men. Keep that in mind.

If you have it in your budget, getting a nice .22 of whatever she'll be shooting later is a good idea. This is what she'll learn on and even carry for a little while. So my wife decided she liked revolvers over autos. She doesn't like the "violence" of the slide moving back. She also wanted ultra light and no recoil, so she got a Smith 317 snub .22 to start with. If your wife likes autos, go with a Sig or some such. Walther makes a .22 and a 9mm that basically feel the same, the P99?

Now I've never met a woman that actually likes recoil. Or doesn't mind it at all. As such, I've never met a woman that likes to fire my Glock .40. As a general rule of thumb, they don't like snappy recoil, they prefer slow shoves. So think slow heavy bullets, think .45 ACP, even 10mm, or .357/.38spcl. (I know a 16yo girl, maybe 90lbs? she hates the G27, but loves the G29 --loaded with fairly stiff 200gr. handloads!). .357 is good because it gives them a stiff carry load and something soft to practice with too. Or they may prefer to carry +P's. Lots of "range" with .357's.

My wife carried a Glock 17 for a while, but just didn't like it. She says she may change later when she gets a better carry purse (yeah, she's sort of restricted to carry this way much of the time). Over time she shot other weapons, fell in love with my 6" 686+, and learned there are no ultra light weapons with no recoil (as evidenced by my 340PD, of which one super light special load was more than enough for her).

So my wife, she finally opted for a Smith 649 no lock, shrouded hammer, 2" bbl., long laser grips, 3 or 4 speed loaders. She carries .357 125gr. Gold Dots. Those are snappy for her and she fires them less, but the beauty of the .357 is that she can fire specials all day in it. And if she gets tired of that, she can shoot the .22.

She also carries the .22 on dog walks, first two are loaded with rat shot. So it still does duty.

Other good revolver choices would be the 686+ snub, it is bigger than a J-frame, but not a large frame. You'd need the hammer filed down and then it would be DA only, but it would be a good one. The 640 is DA only, another good J-frame if SA isn't a concern. I have a 340PD, but it is too light for most men, let alone women.

Of course taking her to a rental range is also a good idea, and something my wife wanted to do until I found her the "perfect piece", which for her is this 649. But even then, finding out whether she's a revolver or an auto girls should be first, then getting a .22 in that to begin with. That would be my suggestion.

Of course you can strap her with the biggest thing she can handle right off the bat, but I guarantee you that down the road she either won't carry or will only do it to satisfy you. Which totally defeats the purpose. So you need to get something she likes, and likely that will be a .22 to start with if she's gun shy.

Good luck, it'll take time but it'll be worth it. My wife has been in a few situations where she was glad she had it on her in the last decade, and always carries now.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Strykervet</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Been round and round with the wife on this one. She was the same way. Not petit, but she's more recoil sensitive than a 4 year old. Also, many women not privy to firearms have different, and even odd sounding or impossible criteria to men. Keep that in mind.

If you have it in your budget, getting a nice .22 of whatever she'll be shooting later is a good idea. This is what she'll learn on and even carry for a little while. So my wife decided she liked revolvers over autos. She doesn't like the "violence" of the slide moving back. She also wanted ultra light and no recoil, so she got a Smith 317 snub .22 to start with. If your wife likes autos, go with a Sig or some such. Walther makes a .22 and a 9mm that basically feel the same, the P99?

Now I've never met a woman that actually likes recoil. Or doesn't mind it at all. As such, I've never met a woman that likes to fire my Glock .40. As a general rule of thumb, they don't like snappy recoil, they prefer slow shoves. So think slow heavy bullets, think .45 ACP, even 10mm, or .357/.38spcl. (I know a 16yo girl, maybe 90lbs? she hates the G27, but loves the G29 --loaded with fairly stiff 200gr. handloads!). .357 is good because it gives them a stiff carry load and something soft to practice with too. Or they may prefer to carry +P's. Lots of "range" with .357's.

My wife carried a Glock 17 for a while, but just didn't like it. She says she may change later when she gets a better carry purse (yeah, she's sort of restricted to carry this way much of the time). Over time she shot other weapons, fell in love with my 6" 686+, and learned there are no ultra light weapons with no recoil (as evidenced by my 340PD, of which one super light special load was more than enough for her).

So my wife, she finally opted for a Smith 649 no lock, shrouded hammer, 2" bbl., long laser grips, 3 or 4 speed loaders. She carries .357 125gr. Gold Dots. Those are snappy for her and she fires them less, but the beauty of the .357 is that she can fire specials all day in it. And if she gets tired of that, she can shoot the .22.

She also carries the .22 on dog walks, first two are loaded with rat shot. So it still does duty.

Other good revolver choices would be the 686+ snub, it is bigger than a J-frame, but not a large frame. You'd need the hammer filed down and then it would be DA only, but it would be a good one. The 640 is DA only, another good J-frame if SA isn't a concern. I have a 340PD, but it is too light for most men, let alone women.

Of course taking her to a rental range is also a good idea, and something my wife wanted to do until I found her the "perfect piece", which for her is this 649. But even then, finding out whether she's a revolver or an auto girls should be first, then getting a .22 in that to begin with. That would be my suggestion.

Of course you can strap her with the biggest thing she can handle right off the bat, but I guarantee you that down the road she either won't carry or will only do it to satisfy you. Which totally defeats the purpose. So you need to get something she likes, and likely that will be a .22 to start with if she's gun shy.

Good luck, it'll take time but it'll be worth it. My wife has been in a few situations where she was glad she had it on her in the last decade, and always carries now.</div></div>

This is what I am in the process of doing with my girl. The semi-autos were overwhelming as she has no previous gun experience. I am starting her off with a Ruger LCR in .22 (She liked the look and fit when we went and fondled one). After she gets comfortable with the platform and hones her skills, I will upgrade in caliber. That being said, I will definitely be holding onto the .22 as it is a cheap means of her getting a lot of trigger time without (as much) fatigue and is very cost effective.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

My girl settled on a very very nice m19 manufactured in 72 and a remington youth 20ga with a the 21" barrel and a choate extension. Tritrium on both. 110gr 38 +ps in 19. Hated glocks. Hated CZs. Hated all autos. She weighs 115 and hates recoil but she doesnt mind the 20. She has watched army of darkness so many times I cant count and she doesnt consider anything semi to be a proper shotgun. "If it doesnt go kachunk its not a shotgun" She shoots that 870 ten times better than the Smith. If theres a intruder and she has the smith they might have a chance, if they run fast enough, but if she has the 870 they are toast. She appreciates the 19 for its craftsmanship, and that there is at least one handgun in the world that she doesnt hate, but that 870 is her gun. She has a 442 for carry but she shoots that even worse than the 19. Remington rebate till the end of the year. Down to wally world for a 20 youth with a 21". A open choke , a tritrium bead, and a 8-shot choate extension from brownells and your done for $350 less rebate!Just remember to send your rebate in right away.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: 2down1UP2down</div><div class="ubbcode-body">.380
Sig p238 is really the only way to go. It has a nice trigger and actual sights.
My wife doesnt like the heavy trigger associated with just about every other .380 on the market. i.e. lcp that sits in a drawer and she wont touch.

For 9mm with a single stack magazine
M&P Shield
Walther PPS
Spingfield - i think its the xdm

9mm compacts
There are too many to name.

Buy reputable.
Buy what is comortable for her to shot and get something she will carry.

My wife carries the sig p238 most of the time. She also has a Walther PPS and Glock 19 that enjoys shooting. They are more purse guns for her.
I personally carry either a Walther PPS, M&P Shield or M&P compact.
IMO these are all good small pistols and I have never had a reliability issue with any of them.
It may help to get her comfortable shooting before you pick the gun. My buddy just went through the same thing with his wife.
</div></div>

If it wasn't for the mention of the Glock, I would accuse my wife of polygamy. Her likes/dislikes are exactly what you wrote.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

HK P7 has worked out well for 20 years. Left or right handed didn't seem to matter. But she shoots every thing up to 45 HK and the S&W .44 M29.
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Good luck.
..MJ..
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

Ok...we've been shopping and it's came down to these final three:
Kahr CM9
Kahr CW9
HK P7
I have NO expeirence with the Kahr, so I'm a little apprehensive. But as I mentioned earlier, I know what HK is all about-so I have no problem buying the P7 (even though this one is a used police surplus, which is about all that's left). Please give me some feedback between these weapons ONLY-we've looked and looked, and this is where we're at. ...she just wouldn't go with a glock 19/26... but-like I said, it's HER decision; so I've gotta stick with it.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

Has she shot any of these?

If you are able to shoot them, take some snap caps to the range with you. Load her mags for her with a snap cap somewhere in the mag and see how she handles malfunctions.

While asking advise on the forum may have some merit, it only makes you warm and fuzzy on the inside.

Real world gun handling tells the true story.

Good on you letting her make the decision though. The best thing you can do is instruct her on the function of the pistol, and safe gun handling, and that's it. Stand back and let her decide.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

No-we weren't able to shoot any of them, but another operator on the entry team will bring his CM9 to training this week & let us try it...I don't know of anyone who has the P7; but we both like the idea of the squeeze-cocking mechanism and HK's reputation. Thanks for the continued input!
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

MJ1-
how has your P7 worked out over the last 20 years? Being you've had it so long-I'm guessing it's been a winner. Can you give me expeirences with the weapon; pro's and con's? Thanks sir!
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

I know there have already been a lot who weighed in, and I don't know that I have anything useful to add, but I will relate my experience.
I bought my wife a Model 85 Taurus 15 years ago, she never liked it much. Fast forward to two years ago. She went with me to a gun show with the free rein to pick what she wanted. Shopping with a woman is a horrible experience when she has the comm.
She kept ending up back at a table full of Rock Island 1911's, she liked the weight and feel but insisted on the officers models. I insited that she had picked one of the most difficult pistols in the place to master. She would hear none of it. "Can you shoot it well?" "Yes honey but I have been shooting them for many many years." "Then so can I." Okey Dokey then. I bought her a base model because I knew I would likely inherit this one after a few short range sessions...I was right. She had handled my G19 and grimaced in numerous attempts to steer her in that direction...didn't want to even fire it. After an hour of loading mags for the 1911 and her inability to follow my directions of no limp wristing and hold it straight, shots continued to be left to right. I handed her my G19 and she made hit after hit, she was hooked and that grimace turned into a wicked grin. She demanded I trade her the 19 for the Rock Island on the spot.
She is an accomplished and apt shooter and no stranger to firearms. Like many however she is an instant results kind of shooter. She has wanted to shoot my Tan ever since I bought it, not gonna happen, that one is MINE and will remain so.

Get them something they want to shoot and let them shoot it, a lot. That is the best weapon no matter the caliber or configuration. Encourage them to shoot it and become proficient and familiar with the weapon.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

I can't speak on a wife using a P7, but I carried one for 10 years while a DOE security guard. Put tons of ammo through it. I definately prefer the M8 over the M13, but they are a reliable and accurate handgun and the squeeze cocking mechanism for the first shot is a very effective safety system. The heavy recoil spring may be an issue for her charging it, so I would make sure that is not a problem. I would love to have an M8 for my wife instead of the S&W 6906 she carries. And by the way, the Kimber CDP Solo is as small as the S&W Shield in 9mm, and has a better trigger, and comes with the laser grip. At, of course, a higher price. That was my wife's 25th anniversary gift to me. She loves me!
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

i have one also and love mine
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: wdebo</div><div class="ubbcode-body">My wife has a P238 and seems to really like it. </div></div>
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

I know this is a gun forum and all, but I was in a semi similar situation with my wife. While she would be willing to carry a gun, she would never put in the time to practice with it to a point that it would be of any use to her under a real stress situation. She carries a canister of bear spray with her. The one she has will spray for something like 30 seconds and is effective up to 20 feet away. Might be an alternative worth considering.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

I bought my wife an m&p 9c with laser grips the grips are crazy simple to use i you are griping the gun they are on, she loves it I've owned kahrs and i liked them still have a p380 it takes a little longer to break in a kahr but once they are your good to go. Also the m&p can be fitted to her hands somewhat since you can change the back straps.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

Bought my wife a S&W M65 Lady Smith 357mag, she loves it, I liked it so much I had to buy one also. She also has a G19 Gen4.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

Don't dismiss a Kimber Pro Carry or Pro Compact. They are smaller 1911 pistols.

My wife had the same problem: she couldn't get her hands around a Glock and be comfortable. I bought her a revolver that never worked. When I brought to get a replacement, she picked out a Kimber Stainless because she said it was easily the most comfortable for her to hold and shoot. She's not at all bothered by the 45 ACP round, and she has a gun that she can comfortably fire.

The Pro Carry is a 4" barrel version with a full-size aluminum frame, and the compact is a 3" barrel with a smaller frame. Both great guns with a lighter frame to make carrying a better option.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

Ruger LCR, in .357, My wife shoots .38's in hers the little extra weight of the .357 version keeps the recoil down and the trigger is better than the Smith and Wesson's that we tried.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

2 important points to check are:

1. Can they load the magazines themselves without help?
(This is not a deal breaker as you can always preload a few mags for them)

2. Can they easily and quickly cycle the action in case of a jam or dud round at just the wrong moment?

3. How will they carry it? Women often have purses which are excellent for carrying bigger easier to shoot pistols, than ones you have to tuck in your pants.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

My wife was born and raised in Scotland so has no experience with hand guns at all.

I let her shoot with my HK USP 9 mm Compact and I ended up buying her another.

More important than the pistol is some proper training-it is critical with new shooters. The fear of a loaded weapon must be eliminated.

BTW. She wants her Carry Conceal now
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

I bought my girlfriend an LCR 357 and she loves it. You don't have to think too much to operate it. She tried my G26 but doesnt have the grip strength to rack it reliably.
 
Re: wife self defense weapon...

The Walther PK380 is a rather large locked breech .380, its recoil feels soft, like a competition gun. Can be carried decocked for a D/A first shot or in condition 1, locked and cocked. Just another option.
 
Wife shoots a TRP 45 acp. I let her shoot other calibers but she wanted something that had more knock down. She also carries a Sig 1911 compact. Practice and more Practice, then she got use to the pistol. She now shoots the pistols good.
 
I've found that small light guns like subbies seem great to your wife when she grabs them in a store. But it's a whole other ball game when they actually fire them. The recoil and/or vibration can put them off forever and leave them uncomfortable using it -- which is not a good self defence tool IMO. I would try to get her the heaviest gun she can comfortably manage. My wife is particularly fond of Sig P220s. It was a single stack design from the get go meaning she can wrap her hand around it. And the slow recoil impulse of a .45 is comfortable for her. YMMV but do keep that in mind and try to get her to shoot a variety of guns before you choose. My wife also likes a Glock 19. My wife is thin, but 5'8", for frame of reference.
 
I bought my wife a compact Glock, she never carried it, didn't like the concept of the Glock's action and no visible safety. I brought home a S&W model 40 lemon squeezer 38special +P.
S&W_Model_40_2Inch_A.large.jpg

She handled it for 5 minutes and said I want it. She feels more comfortable with it. The double action trigger and a grip safety make her more confidence in her ability to handle the weapon safely. Shes gotten pretty good with it too. Now since she has a gun she likes she carries everyday

This^^^^^^ Only way to go for a person not familier with autoloaders!!!!!!!! Pull trigger---Bang! If no bang pull again. Just because it may say .357 magnum on the barrel (this one doesn't i know but if u get one) doesn't mean you have to load them in it. Get some cowboy .38's and ease her into it. Speer also makes reduced recoil defense loads for snubby .38's for situations exactly like the one you are in.
 
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I know this is a late addition, but I had to throw my two cents in for purse carry if the HKP7 since 2005. I have several of them, and use hobo purses I throw around with impunity and never need to worry about an ND. Plus, the weight of the gun and narrow grips are bonuses to me - prevents limp wristing. The only negatives - it does need to be cleaned after each shooting and if doing rapid fire exercises with malfunction drills (i.e. Thunder Ranch or similar course) the slide gets real hot after the third straight magazine. Bottom line - I would trust my life to that gun.
 
I agree if she isn't going to shoot it often enough that it is second nature to clear any type of jam then she should not cary it if she will spend the time to get familiar with it I would suggest a M&P Compact that is what my wife has they also make it in a single stack now. If she is not going to spend the time with it then it WILL get her killed if it jams. That is why the first thing I bought my wife was a .38 spl Taurus CIA which is a concealed hammer which means she can even shoot it from in her purse and it wont jam or hang. You will probably have to have the trigger worked on as it comes at ab 10 lbs I took mine down to ab 5-6 and it is great. The nice thing ab the CIA is that if she has time to pull the hammer back it is an option unlike a hammer less. Hope this helps but what ever she does end up with please make sure it is a weapon of self defense on her behalf not a weapon for the perp.
 
I would vote for the 38spcl revolver, but it you are set on the Kahr (which I like and own a PM9 and PM40), I would suggest you get the Pearce base plate mag extension - just a bit easier to hang on to IMO. If you are worried about the light weight of the polymer frame, you might consider the steel-framed MK9. Nice looking gun, but have never shot one.
 
My wife is 5'1'' and all of about 105lbs. She absolutely loves my Smith and Wesson M&P Shield in 9mm. The trigger is awesome, recoil is light. It has a safety, which has its ups and downs. It is fairly small so it never snags, it's stiff so it won't be accidentally disengaged. However, being so stiff and small, it can be difficult to disengage at first. A little practice and it's no problem at all.
 
OK: Hold on; back-up one step.

If you choose something for her she won't like it or use it. SHE needs to settle on something she likes.

Who cares if she decides on a .22LR Walther PP (hint - .22 cal Walther PP) or a .25 Baby Browning?!! If she picks it herself she will practice with it and carry it. Otherwise it will be foreign to her and you are wasting your time.

Example:

I wanted to buy my wife a revolver. After much looking to placate me she finally confessed: She simply doesn't like the look of revolvers. She just doesn't. So she took it upon herself to learn how to operate a 1911. I didn't interfere. Then, one day, when I wasn't expecting it, she took my Glock 36 and decided that was the one. Not a revolver. Not a 1911. Not a 9mm but a .45. It has been hers ever since. None of my business, I say. I'm just glad she decided on something that suits her and that she will have nearby if (heaven forbid) she ever needs it.

In sum: It's a process. You can't short-cut it and you can't do it for her.

Read Graham's post above (and NOT because he's also a Michigander). I have purchased a Sig Mosquito, Springfield XD, and 4" 1911 to no avail. It is ultimately up to the woman to decide.
 
P.S. She also thinks my Baby Browning is something out of a Cracker Jack box. All that aside, I believe a hi-cap 9 mm is probably the best option for most women (Please forgive the sexist generalisms, lady SH members).
 
If your wife is gun shy and will not put forth the effort to go to the range and train with a pistol, she needs a revolver. Once a malfunction happens to a women who is in full out terror mode it becomes useless. She may as well have a paperweight. Look at the LCR or S&W airweights.
 
Bought the wife Sig a 238 at the first of the year. She shoots it great and feels comfortable carrying it with her. She shot my G19 just as well but didn't like carrying a Glock around. 238 is much lighter and she appreciates the external safety. I sneak it away and carry deep concealed under the suite when I have to go business professional some days.
 
The downside of a pistol is that you are going from zero to lethal. I think in many situations, the intent of the bad guy is not completely clear and this leads to hesitation which leads to greater risk. Also, if someone is going to carry, they need a lot of training which really only works if they like shooting. I think a 500 lumen surefire and some high power pepper spray is a real alternative. Lighting someone up, yelling at them, and if they keep coming - spraying them, are all good deterrents that also allow your wife to drive away and get out of dodge without the consequences of a shooting.
 
I have a Kahr CW9 and a close friend has a CM9 and my fiance and many others that have shot both agree that the CW9 is softer shooting. If she's carrying in a purse then I would go CW without a doubt. Even inside the waistband both are very concealable being single stack pistols.
 
My wife has carried a S&W 637 for years. She loves it. I got her started with a Ruger p89, a Kel Tec P11 and a Beretta Bobcat in .25 ACP. She likes the P89 but it's too large to carry. The Kel-Tec and Beretta slides are too tough for her to reliably pull back and the loading of mags and solving malfunctions are not something she wanted to practice. Nor is baiting hooks, but that is another issue...

So I got her the 637 for Valentine's day about 12 years ago and some laser grips a few weeks later. She loves it and carries it with her. Additionally, the ability to choose between single action or double action with this revolver is a decided plus for her.

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