Yup, no crime in Chicago! Nothing to see here y'all

Oh no! Daylight smash and grab for <$100k of Rolexes (actual value $100). Better spend $10mil of taxpayer money and send in the NG!
Cause the local talent obviously is to well paid and to busy writing tickets . And selling evidence/ gun buy backs on the streets . Just got caught doing it again recently. Ain’t got nothing time to go after know gang members who don’t t venture to far outside their hood .