Disabled Members - How Do You Cope?

[zenbiker]

Ah, crap, I tried to delete this after second thoughts but the forum posted the header. Maybe the admins could just wipe this, I don't know tht ZI have any room to ffeel bad for myself.


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[Deputy D.A.]

Brother feel free to PM if you need to vent, talk, or whatever.

 

[Foul Mike]

I start off every day with a big thank you to the Big C O that I am here to see this day unlike some around me that are not. FM

 

[Fuzynuts]

Ah, crap, I tried to delete this after second thoughts but the forum posted the header. Maybe the admins could just wipe this, I don't know tht ZI have any room to ffeel bad for myself.


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Doesn't sound like you are feeling sorry for yourself. Nothing wrong with asking for ideas or talking about things. This tread could turn out to be very helpful for many people.

 

[rsee03]

Doesn't sound like you are feeling sorry for yourself. Nothing wrong with asking for ideas or talking about things. This tread could turn out to be very helpful for many people.

Brothers and sisters helping each other. God Bless. I love it. Here's one simple point to mention. Know when you are over your head and when to say when and where to send someone when they have surpassed your level of expertise. Just my thoughts.

 

[Quarter Horse]

Perspective. A quick review of what could be is sometimes a great tonic. For example, having read your profile, I'm feeling pretty f----ing healthy right now. You will adapt and ring every good minute out of life.

 

[101pathfinder]

Honestly, a large part of it comes down to looking at a) all the blessings I have in my life, b) the struggle that so many of my friends deal with on a daily basis, and c) the friends that I had that didn't survive.

I'm a disabled Veteran. Eight traumatic brain injuries (short term memory loss, cluster migraines that have seen me hospitalized multiple times per month because I couldn't see, loss of coordination, tremors), both rotator cuffs torn, torn AC joint, three ankle reconstructions (need to get the right one done again), both ACLs torn, left MCL torn, all three ligaments in the left ankle completely torn, two herniated disks, PTSD-induced insomnia and hypervigilance, etc. When I came back from my 2nd trip to Iraq I was met at the airfield with divorce papers, emptied bank accounts, a foreclosed house, a repossessed car, and $75K in credit card debt for a card I didn't even know about. I'm not listing all that to engender any sympathy, but to make a point as I say this: compared to some of my friends, I'm BLESSED and LUCKY and have NOTHING to complain about. Anytime I think about what I'm dealing with and start to feel sorry for myself, I think about my friends and realize it's nothing compared to their struggle.

My friend Todd is one of the most positive people I know. Marine Force Recon, hard charger by definition. He was blown up by an IED. He lost some internal organs, lost an arm and both legs. Todd now surfs, skydives, does Spartan Races, and is dating one of the most beautiful women (inside and out) I've ever known.

Speaking of Amanda, she was a model, beautiful, funny, active and outgoing. She got run over multiple times by different cars in separate accidents. They wanted to amputate her legs, but she wouldn't let them. She was told she'd never walk again. Only one of her legs really works now, and she has to walk with crutches, but she does Spartan Races, 5Ks, and is training for her first 10K. No matter what is going on with her, no matter how she's discriminated against and belittled, she's ALWAYS smiling.

My friend Mike was an Army Ranger. Blown up by an IED, he lost his whole team, both lower arms, and was burnt beyond recognition. He's the funniest guy I know, never stops laughing or cracking jokes, and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't see him posting something on my Facebook feed where I see him with some hot chick I didn't know he knew.

I'm not going to say it's easy, I'm not going to say each day is a cakewalk, but the fact of the matter is, if you keep the right attitude it WILL get better. Don't let ANYONE tell you what you can or can't do. Whether you say you can, or say you can't, you're gonna be right. Keep the positive attitude, count your blessings, and remember that, no matter how sh*tty it may be, someone else is probably dealing with worse.

Oh, and never stop laughing.

 

[nic_bravo_whiskey]

Honestly, a large part of it comes down to looking at a) all the blessings I have in my life, b) the struggle that so many of my friends deal with on a daily basis, and c) the friends that I had that didn't survive.

I'm a disabled Veteran. Eight traumatic brain injuries (short term memory loss, cluster migraines that have seen me hospitalized multiple times per month because I couldn't see, loss of coordination, tremors), both rotator cuffs torn, torn AC joint, three ankle reconstructions (need to get the right one done again), both ACLs torn, left MCL torn, all three ligaments in the left ankle completely torn, two herniated disks, PTSD-induced insomnia and hypervigilance, etc. When I came back from my 2nd trip to Iraq I was met at the airfield with divorce papers, emptied bank accounts, a foreclosed house, a repossessed car, and $75K in credit card debt for a card I didn't even know about. I'm not listing all that to engender any sympathy, but to make a point as I say this: compared to some of my friends, I'm BLESSED and LUCKY and have NOTHING to complain about. Anytime I think about what I'm dealing with and start to feel sorry for myself, I think about my friends and realize it's nothing compared to their struggle.

My friend Todd is one of the most positive people I know. Marine Force Recon, hard charger by definition. He was blown up by an IED. He lost some internal organs, lost an arm and both legs. Todd now surfs, skydives, does Spartan Races, and is dating one of the most beautiful women (inside and out) I've ever known.

Speaking of Amanda, she was a model, beautiful, funny, active and outgoing. She got run over multiple times by different cars in separate accidents. They wanted to amputate her legs, but she wouldn't let them. She was told she'd never walk again. Only one of her legs really works now, and she has to walk with crutches, but she does Spartan Races, 5Ks, and is training for her first 10K. No matter what is going on with her, no matter how she's discriminated against and belittled, she's ALWAYS smiling.

My friend Mike was an Army Ranger. Blown up by an IED, he lost his whole team, both lower arms, and was burnt beyond recognition. He's the funniest guy I know, never stops laughing or cracking jokes, and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't see him posting something on my Facebook feed where I see him with some hot chick I didn't know he knew.

I'm not going to say it's easy, I'm not going to say each day is a cakewalk, but the fact of the matter is, if you keep the right attitude it WILL get better. Don't let ANYONE tell you what you can or can't do. Whether you say you can, or say you can't, you're gonna be right. Keep the positive attitude, count your blessings, and remember that, no matter how sh*tty it may be, someone else is probably dealing with worse.

Oh, and never stop laughing.

God bless you guys, and thank you.

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[zenbiker]

I am so grateful for the responses left here. I tried to delete the post because I know there are so many others who are so much more deserving of help than I feel I am. Everyday I get up and grit my teeth and try to do something to make my life seem worthwhile, but most days are a a struggle. I don't have a support group, just a wonderful fiancee,but even she has injured her back and neck to the point that its hard to tell who is worse off. Doctors are less than helpful, and just getting medication to keep from screaming is an unreal struggle. I was in the health care profession, and am shocked and ashamed at what it has become.

Anyway, again, thank you for your words; I wish I had friends like you here. I need them in a bad way.


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[dang472]

As a non-disabled person, reading the above posts puts a lot of shit in perspective. I'll try not to complain after a bad day of work or a sore back. My "problems" seem so minuscule. Everyone should have a few friends like you guys to keep us in line.

 

[Derek01]

Keep the faith, get outside and live life. Many good people are out there trying to look out for you. Just found this example

A Student Designed This Amazing Prosthetic Limb for Wounded Warriors Who Want to Climb Mountains | Video | TheBlaze.com

 

[Fuzynuts]

I am so grateful for the responses left here. I tried to delete the post because I know there are so many others who are so much more deserving of help than I feel I am. Everyday I get up and grit my teeth and try to do something to make my life seem worthwhile, but most days are a a struggle. I don't have a support group, just a wonderful fiancee,but even she has injured her back and neck to the point that its hard to tell who is worse off. Doctors are less than helpful, and just getting medication to keep from screaming is an unreal struggle. I was in the health care profession, and am shocked and ashamed at what it has become.

Anyway, again, thank you for your words; I wish I had friends like you here. I need them in a bad way.


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I am not disabled but have been having my share of health problems. Might be losing my job soon.

My basic advice is try to stay as active as possible, both mentally and physically. For me isolation is the worst thing. It can take you down a deep dark hole fast. Talk to friends, relatives or anyone...even if only on the phone, text or net. Sometimes the politeness of a stranger can change my mood for the day.

 

[DarnYankeeUSMC]

When I get to hurting either physically or mentally I call a friend who was injured in Iraq and again in Afg. He will call me when he is in the same boat. It is usually short conversation that starts with "Hey how you doing today?" We both know what the call is about. The response is usually the same "I am hurting but it's all good, could be worse. How you doing?" Having a friend who understands is real important. A spouse or family is good but they seem to show sympathy and that is not what is needed for me or my friend. A kick in the pants to realize there is someone out there way worse off is more of what is needed to get off the pity train. Pain can take you to a mental state that is really bad. I mean that 100%. PM me and I will give you my number. You can call anytime.

 

[Graham]

Disabled Members - How Do You Cope?

Hugh Herr climbed a full grade better after he lost both his legs.

 

[c1steve]

I was pretty close to your position, broke L1 into 53 pieces while mountain biking. I do have some advice for you, and sent a PM.

 

[Sean the Nailer]

I hesitate to say anything in this thread, as my injuries were sustained in MVA's here in Canada as opposed to a "more respectable action" overseas.

That being said, having to deal with the aftermath of many broken bones, dislocated and damaged joints, unhappy nerves, concussions and their parting gifts, as well as different (though interesting) organ damages and repairs..... the point is when an irresponsible driver in oncoming traffic decides to change your life in the blink of an irresponsible eye one has to cope with a multitude of issues. Draw that out over the years, and there are still frustrating points.

But all that means nothing when being compared with what soldiers gave up to do what they do,,, what soldiers endured whilst doing so, and the "parting gifts" that soldiers received upon completion of their "time Serving".

((Not to be compared at all, with criminals and they're "time served"..... that is a whole different issue))

The point is though, injuries, especially permanent injuries, cause one to have all kinds of different challenges, moods, and 're-routes'. I call them 're-routes' because even though one "used to do 'this' this way... now to achieve the same goal one has to do it 'that way' and it isn't always easy to change.

Having a support team alongside/behind you is always helpful. They may not always be there, but through one format or another they are always within reach.

 

[Switchblade]

At 60% and awaiting further, each and every day I wake up, I thank fate that I can walk, talk, see, hear, feel, and am capable for doing what I can do. When I think of my fellow disabled veteran;s who have serious disabilities, I still cannot stop myself from feeling a small amount of ceiling dust knowing my good fortune as compared to theirs. How they deal with it is inspirational to see, and their attitudes are motivation when met well. It is these individuals that I look upon with the highest respect for they have lost far more than I and have adapted, improvised so far beyond what I once thought was humanly capable.
They provide me with daily inspiration to succeed and do well in my sholarly pursuits so that one day I may be able to offer just the smallest amount of help where I can

 

[ArmyJerry]

Man you can come into the pit and say anything you want. The nature of this forum means we have more than our fair share of disabled people. Hell from some of the stuff I read here, I think we are at 90% clinically OCD, another 50% fktard, and definately a lot of teeth missing from this bunch. Been paralyzed once, out of action completely for 6 months, went a year and a half without walking more than 100 feet at one time, spine surgery 7 years ago fixed me up, symptoms starting to show up again. One word of advice I can give you is watch out for depression, it sneaks up on ya even if you are not prone to it, anxiety attacks too. Life is good, even in pain its good.

 

[Switchblade]

Man you can come into the pit and say anything you want. The nature of this forum means we have more than our fair share of disabled people. Hell from some of the stuff I read here, I think we are at 90% clinically OCD, another 50% FUCKTARD, and definately a lot of teeth missing from this bunch. Been paralyzed once, out of action completely for 6 months, went a year and a half without walking more than 100 feet at one time, spine surgery 7 years ago fixed me up, symptoms starting to show up again. One word of advice I can give you is watch out for depression, it sneaks up on ya even if you are not prone to it, anxiety attacks too. Life is good, even in pain its good.

I fixed it for you. No reason to malign people who exhibit more brains than most so called 'normal' people

 

[ArmyJerry]

True , better term.

 

[Delta4-3]

After I was wounded and medically retired I was so mad and depressed. Now, I see it as a blessing. Who else gets to retire at 22 years old and spend all day, every day with their beautiful wife and children? If I could do one thing over it would be the addictions. In the beginning, my goal was to drown the pain entirely. I had a doctor at the VA who prescribed way more pain killers than legal, and that was ok with me then. I was taking 20 pills a day, all OxyContin, Oxycodone, morphine, and tramadol. I was waking up at 0400 and taking 4 shots of Jim Beam, and would use it to wash down the pills the rest of the day.

I missed the birth and first 7 months of my first daughters life because I was deployed. One day in 2010, I realized I didn't remember my second daughters birth or first year of her life because of what I was doing. I began working myself down on painkillers, quit drinking whiskey, and got a new doctor to get me surgeries. Now I am down to 3-4 painkillers a day and have gained back 50% of my lost mobility through the surgeries, will power, and grace. Last September was the first time since 2008 that I was walking around unaided. Now, as people can see from SHC, I get around pretty good. Granted, being on my feet that much I had to take more to cope, but instantly reduced dosage when I got home. I still have months where I loose a lot of that mobility, but I have some really good streatches too, like the last two months.

My advice is to stay in comms with good buddies who are in the same boat or worse. Also, just having a positive outlook on life and looking at your injuries as blessings will seriously reduce the physical pain. Exercise. It hurts soo freaking bad with broken bones and damaged tissue, but it helps a lot in the long run. Stretch for at least 30 minutes every day. Finally, have sex as often as you can...it's the only thing that will temporarily take your mind off the pain.

 

[zenbiker]

Depression is the silent stalker. And a word of warning: if you tell a psychiatrist in this age of enlightened medicine that you are depressed AND own firearms, there's a good chance you will lose them, and possibly be iinvoluntarily committed. The DSMV for psychiatry is an abomoination of a book that essentially makss everyone sick with some sort of "spectrum disorer"" . Yes, psychs are my greaatest fear. My experience with them has been poor, I do not trust any of them, and avoid them like the plague. The hard part is finding people and friends to talk to when you need them. I think I found some here.


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[Strykervet]

Dude, I don't get out as much, but I do what I can when I can. Come up with your own positions if you have to, adjust to different weapons if you have to, whatever. Disability means different, that's all. It's not feeling sorry for yourself, I have bad days too. It sucks when you feel in your mind you can road march 50 miles with 100lbs. nonstop when your body says it can't get out of bed. I understand that and several of us here do. I recall this one old sniper (he may have even been an instructor at some point?) missing a finger. Didn't slow him down any. Adapt, overcome.

I'm sure there are ways of getting a good trigger pull without hands too if you put your mind to it. For instance, a solenoid and an electric firing circuit is a quick easy that comes to mind.

 

[Sharpsman]

One doesn't have to look but a very short distance to understand that there are many folks way off worse than they are!! Each and every day (at 74) that I am allowed to awaken....is a GREAT DAY!!

GOD BLESS all those others way off worse than I am!!

 

[DocUSMCRetired]

Confidence, that same confidence helped you push through (insert school here), where you refused to give up and even learned to love the suck. That confidence that someone else had a harder time than you did, and they got it done. Does it suck sometimes? Yes, but a phrase I learned a long time ago. If were not suffering, were not having fun. Don't be afraid to use adaptations, and tools to your advantage. That and retraining your brain. Sometimes you have to make changes, and it can be easier to make those changes with tools. But be open to new ideas, and that you may have to learn to do something all over again. I had to relearn how to play guitar after being shot in the wrist. I ended up meeting a great guitarist who had a couple of tools he had been given by designers to try. He gave one of those to me, and it was a game changer. It allows me to angle the guitar to the chords, because my wrist doesn't bend, it allows me to move my leg to bend the guitar to the angle I need. It made it fun again. Before that I had almost given up and relearning the guitar, as I was starting at square one. When your mind and body don't cooperate it sucks. It also helps to have a support group. Helps a lot. Its easier to pass ideas, and learn from guys with the same struggles as you are going through. I am guilty of locking myself up in the house for weeks at a time, and not talking with friends or family. But since the Marine Corps League Detachment I am in meets once a month, that forces me out again. I also used to be one of those hard chargers that though muzzle brakes were for those with bad form, or people that needed to work out and just do some strength training. Now that I have a 14cm metal plate that replaced a bone on my left wrist, I find that a muzzle brake can mean the difference between waking up the next morning in pain, or waking up ready to go shoot again. It does help a little with stability though to have a wrist that doesn't move. So their are some ups. I know I have gone a little bit off track, but hey its the bear pit.

 

[nashlaw]

Thank you all for posting.

I am humbled

 

[hankpac]

The picture of the guy holding the beer is of Mike Schlitz. He is one hell of a guy. He was posting photos of himself and a bunch of friends at Normandy all this last week.
When he was still in the hospital, at Ft Sam, where my wife and I were helping a Tiger Force vet who had been burned, Mike was a driving force for all the other guys. He encouraged the other young guys all the time, to push themselves. He is a Ranger, and has that can-do Ranger attitude. NOTHING slows this guy down. this was while he was still fighting for his own life. Courageous, selfless, and a leader.
You, me all the rest can learn much from these who have had the worst happen to them, and have never stopped.
Nothing that has happened to me can compare to what these people have overcome. I have very little to complain about when I think of them, and what they endured.
For myself, I cope, by helping others. My wife and I spent three months at Ft Sam in the burn unit helping that young Tiger learn to walk again, and being by his side every single day. We helped him make his first forays off base, and now 4 years later, we still correspond. Mike was an inspiration in those hospital halls, to the burned guys, and to their families, and to myself.
I always remind myself: You are a paratrooper, you are Airborne, You are an American Warrior, Nothing can stop you. Nothing.

 

[zenbiker]

I know the only thing that can stop myself is, in fact, myself. The real bitch is that I never know from day to day what I am going to be able to do, and even on a good day, its not much compared to before I was injured. My neck hurts all the time, and I have no choice but to spend a lot of the day lying down. For some reason, today, its really getting to me. I would give anything to have a good friend or group of friends I could talk to when I need it, which is becoming alarmingly more frequent lately due to some setbacks. I'm so much better off than so many others, but that's not helping my mental state, and that bothers me as well. I just can not seem to climb out of this pit of self-pity; I can't find a hand-hold of hope. Everyday is a fight to try to be better than yesterday, but I'm just not making any progress. I was a person who prized my independence, and it is killing me having to rely on my doctor for prescriptions, my so called insurance company, God, I just don't know what to do. I see people here who have come to terms with far worse conditions than I can fathom, so why the hell can't I get my act together and get my head together? What am I doing to myself or not doing that won't let me accept this?


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[Smcarroll]

In 2012 I hurt my knee. I spent 5 months on short term disability, lost a 6 figure job, had to sell my new truck and burnt up almost all my savings from my previous 2 years of pipeline work. I got fixed up and was back in the game September 2012. February 2013 I slipped on my steps and hurt my back. Lost my job and this time I had zero disability coverage. Lost my job, racked up bills, spent a couple months in great pain unable to even carry in firewood to stay warm. Being stuck in a small cabin alone 10 miles away from anyone I spent many hours fighting my demons. The only thing that kept me alive many days was the thought of what my death would do to my family. I fought and got well enough to work again, but I still hurt. I have come to terms with the fact that my days as a field welder are numbered. I am not letting it keep me down, I am still young, I am fairly smart and I will find something else. You gotta just remember it ain't over until they bury you man, just keep fighting until they do..

 

[jrassy]

Nothing to good,or to bad,lasts to long.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Time is a great healer.