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Dumbest thing you had to do in the Military?

#51
Strykervet said:
Oh, the dumbest thing of all isn't really funny, but SPENDEX. Blowing ammo through barrels as fast as you can just so they can order the same amount next year. Instead of training all year with it, it's all just blown in one big "spending exercise" where you stay at the range until it's all gone. What a fucking waste, and they don't do or say one damn thing about the shot out barrels they get out of this.
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We lost a soldier and a Bn CDR lost his lower leg during one of these. Scout platoon pulled the pins on their grenades (stupid move #1) and wired the secondary safety's (stupid move#2) and someone dropped one.(stupid move #3) Command put them on line to walk the range to find it because range control said it was too dry to burn. (REALLY STUPID MOVE #4) CDR showed up and called everyone in for a sitrep and he stepped on it. Secondary rolled off and it went off under his foot, directing the majority of the blast under Bowers flak vest. Doc Crawford did everything he could for 45 minutes but he never stood a chance. Commander lost his leg below the knee. A bunch of other guys got their faces peppered.

There is stupid, like pulling dead leaves off trees and taping off the hallway so nobody walks down the middle and then there is stupid, that gets people killed for nothing.
 
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#52
101stinfantry said:
Goddamn dude! I might have had to suck up an Article 15 over that!
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ajv35XX said:
Good old USMC “forgot” to pay the portashitter company to come clean them. They were about to overflow from all the crap and MRE trash (who the hell even eats in one of those things) inside. They made us wrap up with gloves and contractor trash bags and clean all the MRE trash out of them to “make room” until they could get the damn things clean...
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Nope, not happening.
 
#54
Foul Mike said:
Trips through a portion of the Michelin rubber plantations in 1969
We would CA into an area of the Michelin rubber plantations and jump off of the birds and go mix it up with Chuck and his NVA buddies for a week or two and have people on our side killed and maimed and fuck up a bunch of their people too.
We would set up our NDP, dig in and put out OP-LP til morning, then move on and fuck up and destroy more shit and people and take casualties on both sides. We would move through and cleared the area then find a good LZ and load up on the birds and get lifted out and shoot at the gooks moving back in as we left. Left NOBODY behind to keep things we just fought and died for secure.
We would then come back to the same area a couple of months later and do another "operation" where we moved through the same areas and could see where we had dug in before but move away from that in case Chuck had it zeroed with an 82. but nonetheless kept moving forward and "securing" the area only to get to another good LZ and be extracted and again leaving NOBODY behind to keep the area clean all the while paying "Frenchie" for damage done to trees by ARTY or other exploding things that damaged the bark of those tress.
Do that 3 times over the year you spent there in the same area and wonder why we hated our Officers who were getting their tickets punched and Frenchie who ran the plantation.

You will never find a Michelin product on ANYTHING I own, be it a car, truck or skateboard.
Regards, Foul Mike E Co. 5/7 Cav. 1st. Cavalry Div. 69/70
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And cost taxpayers $1500 (IIRC) for every rubber tree destroyed.

Goodrich and Uniroyal are better choices. ;)
 
#55
We are not supposed to talk about this activity.

FatBoy said:
We lost a soldier and a Bn CDR lost his lower leg during one of these. Scout platoon pulled the pins on their grenades (stupid move #1) and wired the secondary safety's (stupid move#2) and someone dropped one.(stupid move #3) Command put them on line to walk the range to find it because range control said it was too dry to burn. (REALLY STUPID MOVE #4) CDR showed up and called everyone in for a sitrep and he stepped on it. Secondary rolled off and it went off under his foot, directing the majority of the blast under Bowers flak vest. Doc Crawford did everything he could for 45 minutes but he never stood a chance. Commander lost his leg below the knee. A bunch of other guys got their faces peppered.

There is stupid, like pulling dead leaves off trees and taping off the hallway so nobody walks down the middle and then there is stupid, that gets people killed for nothing.
Click to expand...
 
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#60
ArmyJerry said:
We are not supposed to talk about this activity.
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Shit, we had a SGT come to us from 3/75th and he was a fucking cock sucker. Hard, to the point he was compensating for something. We were doing a live fire one day and one of the guys he was super hard on was on the suppressive fire team. Low and behold, he got shot. I'm pretty sure I know who shot him and he's lucky as fuck the dude was a bad shot and he only caught one in his leg.

Same thing happened to my gunner from Germany's buddy. They're clearing a bunker and his buddy gets shot in the back through a lung. Lived.

We had an AG get bit in the hand by a copperhead during an air assault and would they peal off one bird to take him to Blanchfield? Fuck no. Took 45 minutes for an Eagle Dust off to get to us. By the time he got to the hospital poison had it arm so swollen they were prepping to take it off. Thank God he go the surgeon he did. Lived, but the Army let this poor bastard sit home alone for 6 months with an unlimited supply of morphine. As far as I know he kicked it himself, no ADAPC required buy damn.

Let's not discuss how many guys we lost every time we got back from the field. Fucking stupid Joe's drunk driving and getting killed.

The only saving grace is I still believe the other branches are worse, except many the Air Force. They just kill allies...

Ahhh the Joy's of serving when Clinton was pres.
 
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#61
We set up an ammunition holding area with thousands of rounds of 556, 50, 7.62, 40mm, and god knows what else in the middle of nowhere somewhere in Pendleton on some range, and they had to have 2 guys on watch at a time 24/7 for it all.

I got the short end of the stick and had to go pull duty with another guy at 0 dark 30. I got to sit in a HMMWV, checking in with HQ every hour, while they were calling for fire and every time I heard that whistle overhead all I could do was pray those rounds didn’t fall short, as if they did I’m pretty sure it would have been a very quick and painless end.
 
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#62
There was a WW2 Building in HunterLigget made from wood, it was range central, one Sunday we had a tractor trailer full of 20mm HEI to go through,,,,,, naaaah I cant tell this story. But I can recommend checking your azimuth and elevation and double check it then triple check it.
 
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#64
Digging fighting positions and immediately filling them in, burying ammo, mad minutes on the range, blowing up demo in a wasteful manner. Dumb shit I witnessed all focused around when the 82nd had a division review and Dubya came down since the whole division wasnt home since the war broke out. Those poor bastards were mowing the same pieces of grass, cleaning company areas, vehicles, etc daily for over a month. I would have lost my mind.
 
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#69
These stupid ass orders are just passed down.

"If I had to do it, you have to do it!"

If they had to pay the soldiers salary while doing this stupid shit, they wouldnt have them doing this stupid shit.
 
#72
FatBoy said:
Berlin. '91 - '94.

Our barracks had carpet bitches!
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Warner Barracks Bamberg was pretty cool. The barracks still had insets between the rooms with rifle racks. They were originally built for the Kaiser's army prior to WW1. The commissary had big iron rings with 100 coats of paint on them set into the wall. It used to be the stables. The rings were what they tied the horses to.
 
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#73
ArmyJerry said:
yeah I seen you fucks when I had to go through Checkpoint Charlie to liase with the Soviet Berlin Brigade. You funking fairys looked almost as cute as the Marines with those spit shined everything. Fucking unbelievable disgrace to the infantry looking all pretty like that..
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Checkpoint Charlie was closed by the time I got there. I hear you on the parade bullshit though. 4th of July week there was not a bottle of dish soap to be found. It was all on tires and tank tracks for dressing. Uhhhhhh...?
 
#75
FatBoy said:
Checkpoint Charlie was closed by the time I got there. I hear you on the parade bullshit though. 4th of Juky work there was not a bottle of dish soap to be found. It was all on tires and tank tracks for dressing. Uhhhhhh...?
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Gallons of mineral oil on the MLRS launchers to make them pretty for Divarty change of command.
 
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#81
The stupidest thing I ever intentionally did was pass recruiter's school instead of intentionally rocking out.

The dumbest thing I had to do was invade Afghanistan with any intention of the US staying there, instead of just killing a bunch of people and leaving a smoldering wasteland behind us.

The dumbest SgtMaj thing I had done to me was when I was a Sgt/E-5 filling a SSgt/GySgt billet as the Sniper Platoon Sergeant and I was selected for promotion to SSgt, the SgtMaj moved me to be a CAAT Section Leader so I would be filling a SNCO billet. The POG bastard was so clueless and detached from what was happening in his Bn, he didn't know I was one of his platoon sergeants already.
 
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#82
I don't recall being told to do anything stupid from the USAF side worth mentioning. I was told to do numerous stupid ass shit from the Army side. I witnessed soldiers doing the most asinine shit while in garrison as well as training. TACPs didn't wear rank on sleeves so for the most part we were immune from that sort of wrath. I maximized ghosting. This was during the Cold War years and the Army was fucking huge and laxed. Officers didn't know shit and pretty much were making the same mistakes that got there asses kicked north of the 38th parallel thirty years before. Special operations as it is known today was in its infancy and known as Reagan's Rapid Deployment Force. Things were changing for the real threat that laid waiting 20 years later. So, the dumbest thing I was told to do was work with the Army. There was some pretty dumb motherfuckers that would get you fucked up. I probably would have felt safer walking by myself in Houston's 5th Ward at night by myself. You younger guys that are working or have worked with the current system don't know how much better it has become no matter how stupid it may seem. Except for the uniforms. Everybody looks like subdued Christmas trees and have some color of beret wasting away in a drawer some where. I never get used to the military wearing those pajamas while traveling commercial.
 
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#84
This :

boskakparaade1981.jpg
 
#87
Paint grass at hq green.
Go into a firing range to look for "decorative cactus " and replant it at hq.

Happy wife, happy 3 day pass, the commander said.

You ever had to figure what decorative cactus looks like, when a 3 day pass is at stake?
 
#88
Ok same base different day.
Was up at admin in my blues for some stupid reason?
A 2 star general walks in unannounced, I call the room to attention.
General asks where his damn driver is? In an upset voice!

No answere, everyone just froze up.
I said "I can drive you sir", he said lets go and headed for the door.
Where is your vehicle? Right here sir "a 1969 chevell hot rod, no ac" he got in.
Told me flight line ops and hurry, I did.

He authorized my shity ride onto the tarmac, guards not impressed.
Drove to ops, just as Commander opened the door and yelled "who's shit box is this?".
I saluted the commander, then called atention and smiled, the look on his face was priceless.

I was dissmissed and escorted off the line by sec.
 
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#89
Snuby642 said:
Ok same base different day.
Was up at admin in my blues for some stupid reason?
A 2 star general walks in unannounced, I call the room to attention.
General asks where his damn driver is? In an upset voice!

No answere, everyone just froze up.
I said "I can drive you sir", he said lets go and headed for the door.
Where is your vehicle? Right here sir "a 1969 chevell hot rod, no ac" he got in.
Told me flight line ops and hurry, I did.

He authorized my shity ride onto the tarmac, guards not impressed.
Drove to ops, just as Commander opened the door and yelled "who's shit box is this?".
I saluted the commander, then called atention and smiled, the look on his face was priceless.

I was dissmissed and escorted off the line by sec.
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Lmaoooooo
 
#90
101stinfantry said:
ok lost equipment stories. We had a 60 gunner lose a .45 (this was early 90's, and I might be getting the details mixed up with the lost PVS-4 too. Anyway we get stuck in the field for an extra 2 weeks looking for this .45, never was found. You know what he got on a statement of charges for it? $36 fucking dollars. If I had known that I would've gave them the $36 dollars, and then some, cuz it was in freaking February!
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36 dollars? I would have lost 5 of those..........
 
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#91
shootist2004 said:
36 dollars? I would have lost 5 of those..........
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I worked in the armory for a few months back in '94, IIRC an M9's unit cost was $230 and M16A2 was $335. I think an M249 was ballpark $800 and M60E3 was about the same. Why in the fuck we continued to repair (only to break again in another thousand rounds) and take beat to fuck weaponry to war with us when the unit costs were so low was beyond me.
 
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#92
Dumbest thing I was ever told: Write disciplinary paperwork for my troop for failing to meet a timeline I knew nothing about.

Dumbest thing I did: Tell my E7 the peperwork would be written only after his and mine had been written and signed for failing to lead and advising him to stay the hell out of my chili.

Pro tip: Never point out shitty leadership traits to shitty leadership...or advise leadership of their lane and when to stay in it.
 
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#94
Early 70s at Bragg. Corner of yadkin and relily was woods and police call area of 7th SF. Corps CGs wife wanted all the pine cones picked up out of the entire woods. Two days my company to include officers commander and SGM picked them up. She decided it did not look "natural" later so we had to go to the landfill and load them back up and take them back out and throw them back o the ground. Needless to say it was more fun than we could stand. Later we had to go back and cut off all limbs on the trees to about 6 ft high. She wanted to drive by and see the animals back in the woods. Glad they made it a housing area finally.
 
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#95
I had to do a base protection detail for ole boy George W flying into my AK base. I stood under a railroad bridge in -0 weather standing guard for 50ft of covered railroad tracks in case someone tried to blow him up. A buddy was posted 100y away on a little walk bridge over a creek. The bridge was about 15ft long and 4ft wide and those were his post limits with a M4 for about 3 hours. Protecting George from a sailboat floating up a 2ft deep creek I guess.
What a waste of military resources for every president that came to a military base. They have 1/100th the protection from SS on a daily basis, but then fly to a secure base and shit hits the fan.
 
#97
Well I didn't have to do it, but thought it was awfully damn stupid to have civilian workers at Ft Bliss going around weed eating rocks and gravel. Not a single green plant life form to be found in any direction but by god we're going to pay to have the rocks weed eated. Now watching the occasional flying rock smack one of those guys in the leg and seeing them holler and jump and make stink face at the offending weed eater... that was priceless.
 
#98
I worked for an asshole Ltc who spent his days humping any trailer trash he could find. We had to land in Nova Scotia when our plane shelled a generator, in the two days we were on the ground he boned two different trashy hookers he found in the local phone book, probably bareback and he dove them also. He usually forced women to submit an "offer" to get promoted, this is VERY common in the Air National Guard from what I could tell. In short, he was a worthless pig of a man.

Well about a year later we are sitting in the "required" sexual harassment training and I remarked that our unit only had two women and they were perfectly safe from sexual harassment, hell guys on death row would give them a wide berth. This was cutting into my shop time and my guys needed actual on equipment training. Well the least ugly one was banging this scumbag colonel and she went and complained to him that I had said she wasn't pretty.

Two hours later, I'm in this assholes office and he is yelling at me in front of this skank and demanding I apologize and tell her she is pretty. I reminded him that telling her she is pretty and I'd fuck her was SEXUAL HARASSMENT!!!! Well he loses his shit and starts getting really bent, orders me to tell her. So I did. I told her she is pretty and if I was gonna hump one of the girls in my unit, it would most certainly be her. She pouts her lips and is almost in tears,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I said, "sorry, you are good looking enough to hump, even if it is against the law to tell you."

I asked the boss if he is happy? He was glowing red and just said, "get the hell out of my office".


Three years later he is a full bird and when his secretary went TDY, he replaced her with some broad he was screwing. If you are familiar with civil service rules and unions, you cannot remove a person from her job in order to give the job to a whore you are screwing. The secretary filed a grievance and an IG complaint. Both were substantiated and he was quietly forced to retire. At his retirement ceremony, I met his long suffering, petite and attractive wife for the 10th time. She was not happy to say the least and stood by this retard while he got drummed out with a Legion of Merit and a new set of golf clubs at unit expense. As I went through the reception line, I shook her hand and said, "you must be so proud of him and looking forward to having him home all the time." and smiled. She smiled back and said,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,"I wouldn't bet on him being home for long".

She divorced him, took half his shit and the big house on the golf course to the nicest country club in town and lived happily ever after.
 
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#99
Soulezoo said:
Well I didn't have to do it, but thought it was awfully damn stupid to have civilian workers at Ft Bliss going around weed eating rocks and gravel. Not a single green plant life form to be found in any direction but by god we're going to pay to have the rocks weed eated. Now watching the occasional flying rock smack one of those guys in the leg and seeing them holler and jump and make stink face at the offending weed eater... that was priceless.
Click to expand...

Pussies!
 
#100
ajv35XX said:
Good old USMC “forgot” to pay the portashitter company to come clean them. They were about to overflow from all the crap and MRE trash (who the hell even eats in one of those things) inside. They made us wrap up with gloves and contractor trash bags and clean all the MRE trash out of them to “make room” until they could get the damn things clean...
Click to expand...

I did not serve, but worked as a recruiter for DOD. I once had to recruit a guy who could translate what one of my other recruits was doing into terms his associates could understand.

The person in question wrote algorithms for submarine sonar software. He, like my son was a functioning autistic savant. His interpersonal skills were somewhat lacking (once told several flag officers they were too stupid to explain his work to”) and they needed a handler for him.
 
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