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Maggie’s Funny & awesome pics, vids and memes thread (work safe, no nudity)

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Borrowed this from another forum and had to share. :ROFLMAO:


OLD WOMAN AND THE MULE
An old woman walked up and tied her old mule to the hitching post.
As she stood there, brushing some of the dust from her face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.
He looked at the woman and laughed,
"Hey old woman, have you ever danced?"
The old woman looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No ... I never did dance ... Never really wanted to."
A crowd has gathered as the young gunslinger grinned and said, "Well you old bag, you're gonna dance now!", and started shooting at the old woman's feet.
The old woman prospector - not wanting to have her toes blown off- started hopping around. Many were laughing.
When his last bullet was fired, the gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.
The old woman turned to her pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun and cocked both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air, and the crowd immediately stopped laughing.
The gunslinger heard the sounds too, and turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening. The crowd watched tensely as he stared at the woman and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.
The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in her hands as she quietly said, "Son, have you ever kissed a mule's ***?"
The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No m'am, but I've always wanted to"
 
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Always loved these, as a kid
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Until the early 90s, near the Ft. Belvoir, VA west gate, lived a man who owned a gravel-pit/landfill that LOVED these cares, in black. He would drive them until I assume repairs were uneconomical. There were around 6-8 parked in the high weeds plus one in the driveway. Eventually, he went into a nursing home.
 
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Well fellas. We have a winner.
@BullGear put a mad face on my post.
I suspect he is mad cause he thinks I killed a treasure of the herpetalogical world..
View attachment 8122553

Most of you probably thought I killed a deadly snake. I didn't harm a scale on his pointy little head.
Actually....if Bullgear knew what this snake was....he would understand the snake is simply playing dead......seriously.
I can assure you, I released him away from the house, UNHARMED.

Now. Was it a deadly Copper Moccarattler?
Or was it a toad eating machine?
Lots of people kill these snakes...because as a general rule, people are morons.

Name that snake.
I'll give you better pics, when you identify him.
Looks like a rattle-head-copper-moccosin to me
 
Well fellas. We have a winner.
@BullGear put a mad face on my post.
I suspect he is mad cause he thinks I killed a treasure of the herpetalogical world..
View attachment 8122553

Most of you probably thought I killed a deadly snake. I didn't harm a scale on his pointy little head.
Actually....if Bullgear knew what this snake was....he would understand the snake is simply playing dead......seriously.
I can assure you, I released him away from the house, UNHARMED.

Now. Was it a deadly Copper Moccarattler?
Or was it a toad eating machine?
Lots of people kill these snakes...because as a general rule, people are morons.

Name that snake.
I'll give you better pics, when you identify him.

It's either a Gopher Snake or a Copper Headed Rattle Moccasin.
 
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Reactions: armorpl8chikn
Well fellas. We have a winner.
@BullGear put a mad face on my post.
I suspect he is mad cause he thinks I killed a treasure of the herpetalogical world..
View attachment 8122553

Most of you probably thought I killed a deadly snake. I didn't harm a scale on his pointy little head.
Actually....if Bullgear knew what this snake was....he would understand the snake is simply playing dead......seriously.
I can assure you, I released him away from the house, UNHARMED.

Now. Was it a deadly Copper Moccarattler?
Or was it a toad eating machine?
Lots of people kill these snakes...because as a general rule, people are morons.

Name that snake.
I'll give you better pics, when you identify him.
Eastern Hognose

Oh I see I’m late to the party on this one.
 
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Reactions: armorpl8chikn
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Spuds (halved) in the foil with sea salt, pepper, avocado oil and a pinch of partly dried chives. The original prototype "Tactical Spatula" that I was privy to see- before these were out-was a bit chunkier in the blade and stem. You could have probably chopped wood with that thing! Anywho...after 2 cheeseburgers and a mess of those potatoes....I felt like a bloated goat....😋