Paging Bender… Bender, do you need an alibi?

[sirhrmechanic]

A Man Allegedly Pulled Out His Penis Then Beat Up A Woman With A Dead Seagull In Germany

A man in Öjendorfer in the German city of Hamburg reportedly exposed his penis and began to beat a woman with a dead seagull Tuesday.

dailycaller.com

Remember that your chances of being beaten severely by a flasher with a dead seagull are low. But never zero.

Is @Bender accounted for?? Does he need an alibi?

Sirhr

 

[theLBC]

Poor Jonathan

 

[JLP83]

I heard he already lawyered up.

 

[Bender]

Can confirm was me

 

[spamassassin]

Let he among you who is without sin cast the first dead seagull.

 

[MadDuner]

So, that was obviously an "Assault Seagull"....
We're gonna need to see that tax stamp fo dat.

 

[MtnCreek]

2H2D金尊版持久液輕鬆解決早泄性高潮線上藥局

2H2D金尊版持久液抑製早泄老公性冷淡怎麼辦？增硬功效壯陽藥，犀利士/cialis20mg4粒版是禮來藥廠暢銷多年的一款壯陽藥，藥效比犀利士與犀利士等持續時間更長，通常提前30分鐘服用，藥效最長達36小時以上，因此犀利士更適合性愛不定時與需要多次性愛的用戶使用，另外每日服用犀利士5mg更可以治療與預防攝護腺肥大增生（BPH），是美國FDA、歐盟，唯壹核準同時治療ED和BPH癥狀的藥物。，【必利吉副作用】：會有輕微頭痛、潮紅、腹脹的感覺（因人而異，並不是所有人吃後都會有這些副作用）。【存儲藥品】：密封，陰涼幹燥處在（86華氏）以下保存。【必利吉用法用量】：推薦每次1/2～1粒（以自己滿意為...

freewestmedia.com

 

[Bender]

Let he among you who is without sin cast the first dead seagull.

 

[The D]

Can confirm was meView attachment 7941587

Corroborated. I may or may not have a video of it

 

[sirhrmechanic]

Corroborated. I may or may not have a video of it

How much to not play it?

Sirhr

 

[The D]

How much to not play it?

Sirhr

Not exactly sure, there’s a few commas in the number though

 

[Threadcutter308]

 

[SalomonQST99]

A Man Allegedly Pulled Out His Penis Then Beat Up A Woman With A Dead Seagull In Germany

A man in Öjendorfer in the German city of Hamburg reportedly exposed his penis and began to beat a woman with a dead seagull Tuesday.

dailycaller.com

Remember that your chances of being beaten severely by a flasher with a dead seagull are low. But never zero.

Is @Bender accounted for?? Does he need an alibi?

Sirhr

Still better odds of getting beaten with a dead seagull than winning the lottery.

 

[spamassassin]

I'm going to need a rule 34 evaluation on this. It is possible that we have found the one exception to that empirical law which could demote it from a law to a rule of thumb.

 

[Fig]

2H2D金尊版持久液輕鬆解決早泄性高潮線上藥局

2H2D金尊版持久液抑製早泄老公性冷淡怎麼辦？增硬功效壯陽藥，犀利士/cialis20mg4粒版是禮來藥廠暢銷多年的一款壯陽藥，藥效比犀利士與犀利士等持續時間更長，通常提前30分鐘服用，藥效最長達36小時以上，因此犀利士更適合性愛不定時與需要多次性愛的用戶使用，另外每日服用犀利士5mg更可以治療與預防攝護腺肥大增生（BPH），是美國FDA、歐盟，唯壹核準同時治療ED和BPH癥狀的藥物。，【必利吉副作用】：會有輕微頭痛、潮紅、腹脹的感覺（因人而異，並不是所有人吃後都會有這些副作用）。【存儲藥品】：密封，陰涼幹燥處在（86華氏）以下保存。【必利吉用法用量】：推薦每次1/2～1粒（以自己滿意為...

freewestmedia.com

Gießen sounds like the perfect city to have an Eritrean Festival...? WTF

 

[DarnYankeeUSMC]

And @TheGerman seems to be scarce. What role did he have in this?

 

[Threadcutter308]

And @TheGerman seems to be scarce. What role did he have in this?

Gießen is landlocked. He'd have a hard time getting the submarine up there.

 

[Carlos Danger]

Remember when stories like this were strange, unusual, and generally shocking?

 

[theLBC]

this would have been closer, but story is corrected in the body.

Perv flashes woman in park before attacking her with a dead pigeon in odd attack

The popular German tourist spot of Öjendorfer Park in Hamburg, Germany, was the scene of a very strange attack involving a flashing man, a pigeon and a police chase through open water

www.dailystar.co.uk

 

[sirhrmechanic]

 

[acudaowner]

that wasn't an attack if he had used a golden eagle , or flamingo you might just say he was bragging , but a pigeon he was just trying to show her his little pecker to get her in the mood .

 

[babyguppy]

get ready for the pigeon

 

[akmike47]

Can confirm was meView attachment 7941587

She has the crazy look that I’d probably still slip my pecker in.

 

[Bender]

She has the crazy look that I’d probably still slip my pecker in.

She looks fun fir sure!!

 

[502Chevelle]

I hate to admit this, but I have been beaten with a dead seagull. It was years ago, like when Star Wars comes on. Long, long ago in a galaxy far away.....never under estimate the lengths a Navy diver will go for payback on a prank. That's all I have to say about that.

 

[sirhrmechanic]

I hate to admit this, but I have been beaten by a dead seagull. It was years ago, like when Star Wars comes on. Long, long ago in a galaxy far away.....never under estimate the lengths a Navy diver will go for payback on a prank. That's all I have to say about that.

 

[babyguppy]

View attachment 7941825

 

[Keeper22]

A new role playing game???

 

[TexPatriot]

But Wait...there's more!!!

Now for a limited time I'm adding an ass whooping with a dead sea gull!

 

[tomcatmv]

Hey it could have been worse, you know, a murder of crows?