Share Your Poop!!!

Steel head

Feral kitten
PX Member
Minuteman
  • Aug 3, 2014
    12,800
    33,103
    Washington
    I think I just lost 4 pounds.

    Last night, Rebecca made chicken fried steak, fresh green beans (with a sprinkling of red pepper flakes) and a big assed batch of potato wedges.

    I ate way too much.

    Got up this morning with that push feeling.

    About three sips of coffee later I began to feel "the slide."

    Of course, I wanted to wait to finish the coffee but it became increasingly difficult.

    Discharge was relatively normal and in three phases.
    Phase one was the log.
    Phase two loggish looking pâte.
    Phase three was the chocolate that I ate after dinner. It came out like a mix between soft chocolate and soft serve icecream.

    Pretty cool, three dis-stink styles of turds.
    No pellets for me because that tells me something has gone wrong.

    Anyhoo, 6.89/10 for difficulty.
    9.275/10 for execution.
    10/10 appearance.
    👆
    thats a poop report!
     
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    seanh

    Fucktard Ring ldr
    PX Member
    Minuteman
    Sep 7, 2011
    2,572
    2,413
    Houston, TX
    any of you guys ever shit so hard that you need to call NASA for launch clearance? Sucks whenever you shit so hard your ass lifts off the toilet seat and you forget to have something to hold onto
     
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    Bundy

    Jackofnotrades
    PX Member
    Minuteman
    Dec 18, 2013
    467
    806
    Sooner state
    A few weeks or so ago I was badly constipated for almost 4 days! Once I was finally able to start going again I kept on feeling really nauseated and light headed and feverish. The part that annoyed me the most was the feverish feeling and sweating. Well, like a moron I turned to Google for help and I wrote something to the effect of "why do I feel hot while pooping". Needless to say the results I got were NOT what I was looking for! :eek:
    I know there’s a gay joke in here somewhere, but I’ll be damned if I can if I can push it out!
     

    salks

    Sergeant of the Hide
    PX Member
    Minuteman
    Nov 23, 2019
    331
    205
    It wasn't me. I found it that way. Funny thing is thry took time to put paper on the seat not sure what went wrong after that.
     

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    Steel head

    Feral kitten
    PX Member
    Minuteman
  • Aug 3, 2014
    12,800
    33,103
    Washington
    2/16/21 poop report
    8/10
    Good one today
    Good volume.
    Low aroma.
    Moderate spice considering I had a few habaneros last night.
    Clean break with very light clean up needed.
     
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    8pointer

    Major Award Winner
    PX Member
    Minuteman
  • Nov 20, 2018
    2,213
    1,885
    Venison on top of Vigo cuban rice and spring mix with some soy . Didn't even need to wipe, but did for safety precaution. Entire download was under 5 seconds with perfect pinch off.

    #cellophaneturd
     

    The D

    Resident capitalist/agorist/voluntaryist
    PX Member
    Minuteman
  • Apr 11, 2020
    1,293
    1,119
    In-game poop report:

    mild strain-we’re on vacation so I’m eating terrible

    will probably need considerable cleanup because of said diet changes

    low odor, somehow

    peek in to check aesthetics- OH MY GOD, WHY IS MY POOP GREEN!? Oh wait, my son’s birthday was a few days ago and I’ve been snacking on birthday cake decorated with a bunch of dye-colored frosting since then.
     
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    Bundy

    Jackofnotrades
    PX Member
    Minuteman
    Dec 18, 2013
    467
    806
    Sooner state
    Poop report 2/18/21
    Had to run to the shitter.
    Strained on what could only be a queball.
    Giant splash, pretty sure ripped something and broke blood vessel in left eye.
    Followed by a whipped peanut butter consistency.
    Aroma was awful.
    After 20 minutes of wiping, really considering getting butthole waxed. Wife is on board.
    End report
     

    6.5SH

    Gunny Sergeant
    PX Member
    Minuteman
    Jul 24, 2020
    829
    1,147
    From some of the reports here is obvious are some who need to get on the Metamucil. Laugh all you want, but is better than blowing an o-ring like some are. :poop:
     

    The D

    Resident capitalist/agorist/voluntaryist
    PX Member
    Minuteman
  • Apr 11, 2020
    1,293
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    Note I don't drink alcohol.

    Introduced in 05 as an 14% abv alcoholic energy drink. Later banned and was reintroduced in 10 without the energy drink ingredients.
    I lived in Fl around that time and we had something like that called Sparks. I don’t remember how strong they were but I do remember them working well
     

    powdahound76

    Old tired dad
    PX Member
    Minuteman
    Sep 7, 2011
    6,191
    14,140
    Denver CO
    Wow. Some great responses.
    I got busy and forgot to post yesterday AM.

    a normal diameter, common brown, regular aroma, formed with easy passing. BUT. The distal end was disappeared in the bottom of the crapper and the proximal end was protruding from the water by at least an inch.
    Then a nice 6” floater along with it.

    that gets an 8.5/10 for serious length. 😁

    Today is a pretty pale (close to FDE, but hard to get the cerekote color swatches in the toilet), probably to snacking on hummus yesterday.
    other than the interesting color its pretty average.
    6/10 for cool pale color.
     

    8pointer

    Major Award Winner
    PX Member
    Minuteman
  • Nov 20, 2018
    2,213
    1,885
    3rd day in a row with lackluster performance in the Dookatorium. I lay part of the blame with no smoking joes bbq for 2 weeks, but also an over abundance of rabbit food. Currently have a venison backstrap thawing out literal 'brown it's down' hopeful for next 24 hours.
     

    theLBC

    Shiftless
    Supporter
    PX Member
    Minuteman
    Jun 21, 2019
    6,362
    12,362
    i had an unusually long stool today. very uniform in diameter and it came out so quickly that i was startled by the oal of this one.
    it also coiled itself neatly in the bowl. i am sorry i didn't take a picture. :oops:
     

    theLBC

    Shiftless
    Supporter
    PX Member
    Minuteman
    Jun 21, 2019
    6,362
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    That, my friend is known as a king coiler.
    hmm, my diet yesterday was not typical so perhaps this can be replicated.

    large helping of coleslaw
    large serving of spinach and feta spanakopita (12 pieces)
    some crinkle cut french fries (cause i got hungry again later).
     

    theLBC

    Shiftless
    Supporter
    PX Member
    Minuteman
    Jun 21, 2019
    6,362
    12,362
    andrew zimmern eats bugs and rotten meat and could not eat MREs when he visited arizona.
     

    8pointer

    Major Award Winner
    PX Member
    Minuteman
  • Nov 20, 2018
    2,213
    1,885
    I'm pre-gaming Friday morning's deuce and calling my shot: a 9.3 on the sphincter scale. Thursday I will be eating a Smoking Joes meal with fries, baked beans and pork. Not decided on a bbq sauce yet which is a critical aspect to aroma. I always get that hint of smoky vapor, but am finding the cherry bbq sauce makes the entire downstairs just downright enjoyable afterwards. 47 hours til feed time.
     

    Bundy

    Jackofnotrades
    PX Member
    Minuteman
    Dec 18, 2013
    467
    806
    Sooner state
    I'm pre-gaming Friday morning's deuce and calling my shot: a 9.3 on the sphincter scale. Thursday I will be eating a Smoking Joes meal with fries, baked beans and pork. Not decided on a bbq sauce yet which is a critical aspect to aroma. I always get that hint of smoky vapor, but am finding the cherry bbq sauce makes the entire downstairs just downright enjoyable afterwards. 47 hours til feed time.
    I pregamed one time in midland Texas morning rush hour traffic!
     

    The D

    Resident capitalist/agorist/voluntaryist
    PX Member
    Minuteman
  • Apr 11, 2020
    1,293
    1,119
    1614126825174.gif
    Almost didn’t make it to the bathroom. I should have gone at work but it wasn’t too dire. I got home and started making something to eat. I started burbling about halfway through but thought I could power through and wait until I finished making what I started. Lol, nope. Thankfully I didn’t make a mess anywhere I shouldn’t have. I sat down just in time for the emergency offload. Effort, color, texture, & smell were all normal. Disaster averted...
     

    theLBC

    Shiftless
    Supporter
    PX Member
    Minuteman
    Jun 21, 2019
    6,362
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    View attachment 7565122
    Almost didn’t make it to the bathroom. I should have gone at work but it wasn’t too dire. I got home and started making something to eat. I started burbling about halfway through but thought I could power through and wait until I finished making what I started. Lol, nope. Thankfully I didn’t make a mess anywhere I shouldn’t have. I sat down just in time for the emergency offload. Effort, color, texture, & smell were all normal. Disaster averted...
    i have learned over the years that my ability to "hold it" gets exponentially smaller as i get closer to the toilet.
    if i am stopped en route, but extremely close, there could be a problem. :ROFLMAO:
     
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    The D

    Resident capitalist/agorist/voluntaryist
    PX Member
    Minuteman
  • Apr 11, 2020
    1,293
    1,119
    i have learned over the years that my ability to "hold it" gets exponentially smaller as i get closer to the toilet.
    if i am stopped en route, but extremely close, there could be a problem. :ROFLMAO:
    I got caught in a similar situation a few years ago too. I was downtown watching football with some friends and had a few tingles just as the game was wrapping up. I told myself, “it’s not bad, I can wait until I get home”. Well... I was halfway home when I was suddenly caught in an emergency. I was clinching and wriggling in my seat. The only thing I could do was get off the highway and sprint to the bathroom of the first gas station I found. My poop hit the water before my ass hit the seat
     
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    Xtate

    Private
    Minuteman
    Feb 14, 2020
    44
    35
    Start time 11:58 am final wipe at 12:13, began hard and clumpy, pain and blood, with amazing hang time. I had to reach up and grab it a few times like yanking a snake out of a drain pipe. Finished in massive mound of cookie dough. I felt great when done as though a covey of quail flushed out of my ass. Thought you all would want to know.
     

    8pointer

    Major Award Winner
    PX Member
    Minuteman
  • Nov 20, 2018
    2,213
    1,885
    I pregamed one time in midland Texas morning rush hour traffic!
    So ended up pre-pregaming I stopped by The Wing House last night impromptu.....20 teriyaki wings and curly fries. Only partially out today so when joined with BBQ tomorrow it should make for a proud papa Friday morning....envision contractions starting around 4am and giving birth to cosby around 0500.
     
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