Maggie’s Socially UNacceptable Humor
- Thread starter Duc
- Start date
I try to pick my battles carefully. Some things (such as where/when I carry a pistol) are non-negotiable. Things like housework, cooking, who does what around the house, I am more than willing to discuss.
One thing that really pushes my button is if I am asked to do something, and undertake the task. While I'm doing the task, if someone starts telling me how to do it, I will simply stop work, and allow them to do it however they wish. Don't ask me to swab the decks, then tell me how to do it.
Here are the choices:
1. Do it yourself.
2. Leave the task un-done.
3. If I undertake to complete a task, unless I request assistance, advice, or input, leave me alone.
4. Finish the task I started after I quit due to violation of #3. Then refer to #1, or #2.
I really don't mind doing housework, household chores, repairs, cooking etc, because I live here too. That, plus I am a true believer in "if you want something done right, do it yourself". I'm enough of a type 1 personality, that I think I know how too either do something, or learn to do something before I undertake the chore, so I will rarely ask how to do house stuff.
One thing that really pushes my button is if I am asked to do something, and undertake the task. While I'm doing the task, if someone starts telling me how to do it, I will simply stop work, and allow them to do it however they wish. Don't ask me to swab the decks, then tell me how to do it.
Here are the choices:
1. Do it yourself.
2. Leave the task un-done.
3. If I undertake to complete a task, unless I request assistance, advice, or input, leave me alone.
4. Finish the task I started after I quit due to violation of #3. Then refer to #1, or #2.
I really don't mind doing housework, household chores, repairs, cooking etc, because I live here too. That, plus I am a true believer in "if you want something done right, do it yourself". I'm enough of a type 1 personality, that I think I know how too either do something, or learn to do something before I undertake the chore, so I will rarely ask how to do house stuff.
How many ‘nanas can a chimp fit in its mouth?
Hi,
Hey @1J04 ...
I just realized you had a famous brother!! So you are the slacker in the family???
Sincerely,
Theis
Hey @1J04 ...
I just realized you had a famous brother!! So you are the slacker in the family???
Sincerely,
Theis
A young cowboy on his eighteenth birthday goes into a bar with his father. His father says "today you become a man". He hands his son a bottle of whiskey and says "First chug this bottle of whiskey", "then go rape an Indian woman" "and after that you must wrestle a bear". His father then adds "only after completing those things will you be a man".
So the son Drinks the whiskey and heads out the door. After a couple of hour he returns with his clothes all shredded, and covered in scratches and bleeding. He says to his father "now wheres that Indian woman you wanted me to wrestle"?
So the son Drinks the whiskey and heads out the door. After a couple of hour he returns with his clothes all shredded, and covered in scratches and bleeding. He says to his father "now wheres that Indian woman you wanted me to wrestle"?
Judgemental Pricks.
Hi,
Nobody is judging lolol...I actually liked watching your brothers character on The Big Bang Theory lolol. He did yall good
Sincerely,
Theis
An old man is walking in Amsterdam and passes a hooker standing at her door.
She asks him: "Granddad, why don't we give it a try?"
He replies: "No girl, that's no longer possible for me".
Says the hooker: "Come on, what have we got to lose, we can give it a try!" They both go inside.
They undress and he performs like a young buck, giving it to her 5 times in a row. "Oh my goodness" says the hooker, breathless "and you said that it was no longer possible for you?!"
Says the old guy: "Oh, screwing is still going well, it's the paying that is no longer possible!"
She asks him: "Granddad, why don't we give it a try?"
He replies: "No girl, that's no longer possible for me".
Says the hooker: "Come on, what have we got to lose, we can give it a try!" They both go inside.
They undress and he performs like a young buck, giving it to her 5 times in a row. "Oh my goodness" says the hooker, breathless "and you said that it was no longer possible for you?!"
Says the old guy: "Oh, screwing is still going well, it's the paying that is no longer possible!"
Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a sunken ship.
"Follow me, son" the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people.
"First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing". And they did.
"Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few more times with all of our fins showing". And they did.
"Now we eat everybody". And they did.
When they were both gorged the son asked "Dad, why didn't we just eat them all at first? Why did we swim around and around them?"
His wise father replied "Because they taste better without all the shit inside!"
"Follow me, son" the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people.
"First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing". And they did.
"Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few more times with all of our fins showing". And they did.
"Now we eat everybody". And they did.
When they were both gorged the son asked "Dad, why didn't we just eat them all at first? Why did we swim around and around them?"
His wise father replied "Because they taste better without all the shit inside!"
I thought the Christmas reference might be offensive to some people.
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