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Maggie’s Socially UNacceptable Humor

Q: Where do you send Jewish kids with ADD?
A: Concentration camp.

Q: Why do Mexican kids eat tamales on Christmas Day?
A: So they have something to unwrap.

Q: What is an illegal alien's favorite sport?
A: Cross-country.

Q: Why doesn't Mexico ever win any Olympic medals?
A: All their best runners, jumpers, and swimmers are in America.

Q: How is an Asian pet store different from non-Asian ones?
A: Asian ones always have a kitchen in the back.

Q: Why don't black people accept free cruises?
A: They won't fall for that trick again.
 
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Yikes...that has gotta be sore as hell. I have two friends who have shot themselves in the ass. One of them was warned by me that carrying that way was a good way to shoot himself in the ass...less than a month later, he did just that. He wanted to carry his 1911 with a round in the chamber, without a holster, after lowering the hammer. I said "no, it is hammer down on an empty chamber, or cocked and locked on a loaded chamber."

Apparently, when he shoved the pistol into his trousers, the slide moved enough to fully cock the hammer. Without a holster, during the day, his shirt got bunched up in the trigger guard. After he left the bathroom in a fancy hotel, like most guys, he went to straighten out his shirt and hike his trousers back up. As the hammer had been cocked, and with the shirt in the trigger guard, all that was left was to depress the grip safety. As he straightened out and tucked in his shirt, he bumped the grip safety and the gun fired.

He said he was really embarrassed, and started looking for the hole in the carpet, but couldn't find one, that was when blood started dripping onto the carpet. The bullet was a 185 grain Remington hollow point... Bullet entered the top of his right ass cheek, exited the bottom of his ass cheek, re-entered the back of his right calf and stopped by his heel... Fortunately the bullet didn't expand. He now has three silver dollar sized pucker scars, and a surgical scar where the bullet was removed.
 
Unknown said:
Yikes...that has gotta be sore as hell. I have two friends who have shot themselves in the ass. One of them was warned by me that carrying that way was a good way to shoot himself in the ass...less than a month later, he did just that. He wanted to carry his 1911 with a round in the chamber, without a holster, after lowering the hammer. I said "no, it is hammer down on an empty chamber, or cocked and locked on a loaded chamber."

Apparently, when he shoved the pistol into his trousers, the slide moved enough to fully cock the hammer. Without a holster, during the day, his shirt got bunched up in the trigger guard. After he left the bathroom in a fancy hotel, like most guys, he went to straighten out his shirt and hike his trousers back up. As the hammer had been cocked, and with the shirt in the trigger guard, all that was left was to depress the grip safety. As he straightened out and tucked in his shirt, he bumped the grip safety and the gun fired.

He said he was really embarrassed, and started looking for the hole in the carpet, but couldn't find one, that was when blood started dripping onto the carpet. The bullet was a 185 grain Remington hollow point... Bullet entered the top of his right ass cheek, exited the bottom of his ass cheek, re-entered the back of his right calf and stopped by his heel... Fortunately the bullet didn't expand. He now has three silver dollar sized pucker scars, and a surgical scar where the bullet was removed.
Click to expand...
....and the bullet?
 
@Mike Casselton That sir, is nothing in the back hair arena. I have horror stories of shaving guys to get their ekg patches to stick. One so we could get the defib pads on....... He was just a little guy close to 400 lbs.

As for the butt cheek shot. Dang!!!
I have explained this and pocket carry to my brother. He doesnt listen very well. This pic should have him holster shopping in no time......?
If you carry a lot, holsters make it safer, more comfortable, and better chances of it not falling out and skittering across a floor.

Those wounds take forever to heal up as well. Probably 4+ months for that one barring infection or issues.
 
Its to keep the tunnel open between entrance and exit. If you let it close off too quickly, there is very high risk for a fistula or a massive abscess to form in there.

Im sure that thing gets pack with a strip guaze called Iodoform daily and then you pull it all out and do it again. Then as it gets shallower, perhaps a wound vac.

So besides packing daily with dressing chsnges to help remove “unwanted” stuff, this stays there until the channel is almost healed up.

Thats what I have seen in some gangbangers I took care of in the ICU before I went to the ED.
One had an exit about 1 cm from his butthole. Entrance just about got his nuts. Went through his thigh and out in his buttcrack.
Punk. Figure he is dead by now.
 
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Chikin and Powdahound are correct on the tie off through the hole, to allow it to drain, to help it heal inside out, and to assist in packing for the many reasons to pack. Debris will work it's way out, or create infection pockets if not worked out by packing and flushing, and you never get it all out on the first trip.
Sit in car, shoot self in ass, drive bleeding ass self to hospital, slither in, say, I got extra hole in my ass, please fix.....

Yes, I know this guy, and no, I cant tell the whole story, ......... yet... :- )
 
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powdahound76 said:
@Mike Casselton That sir, is nothing in the back hair arena. I have horror stories of shaving guys to get their ekg patches to stick. One so we could get the defib pads on....... He was just a little guy close to 400 lbs.

As for the butt cheek shot. Dang!!!
I have explained this and pocket carry to my brother. He doesnt listen very well. This pic should have him holster shopping in no time......?
If you carry a lot, holsters make it safer, more comfortable, and better chances of it not falling out and skittering across a floor.

Those wounds take forever to heal up as well. Probably 4+ months for that one barring infection or issues.
Click to expand...

You're right about that back hair.
If I want to see gorilla or sasquatch, all I have to do is go to any beach and look for the hairy Italian fella in the speedo. I've seen some guys that are so bad you can't see their skin.

Eeeeeeeewww!!
 
Mike Casselton said:
You're right about that back hair.
If I want to see gorilla or sasquatch, all I have to do is go to any beach and look for the hairy Italian fella in the speedo. I've seen some guys that are so bad you can't see their skin.

Eeeeeeeewww!!
Click to expand...

MIKE,
WHY ARE YOU ADMITTING TO LOOKING AT HAIRY ITALIAN GUYS IN SPEEDOS ON A BEACH. ?????

This IS the Hide, and YOU know, such admissions have consequences... ???????????
 
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j-huskey said:
MIKE,
WHY ARE YOU ADMITTING TO LOOKING AT HAIRY ITALIAN GUYS IN SPEEDOS ON A BEACH. ?????

This IS the Hide, and YOU know, such admissions have consequences... ???????????
Click to expand...

Hey! Hey!
We aren't here to judge. I will defend his right to ogle extremely hirsute, missing link men.
Whatever fries his chicken.

Carry on Mike. You just let that freak flag fly bud.
 
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powdahound76 said:
@Mike Casselton That sir, is nothing in the back hair arena. I have horror stories of shaving guys to get their ekg patches to stick. One so we could get the defib pads on....... He was just a little guy close to 400 lbs.

As for the butt cheek shot. Dang!!!
I have explained this and pocket carry to my brother. He doesnt listen very well. This pic should have him holster shopping in no time......?
If you carry a lot, holsters make it safer, more comfortable, and better chances of it not falling out and skittering across a floor.

Those wounds take forever to heal up as well. Probably 4+ months for that one barring infection or issues.
Click to expand...
I’ve always wondered why people choose to carry without at least a pocket holster to cover things. Holsters are so readily available and can be very inexpensive if that’s your thing. I think that Forrest Gump had it right...
 
powdahound76 said:
Just heard Lou Reed’s Walk on the Wild Side.
Now I will envision @Mike Casselton in mirrored shades checking out dudes at the beach when I hear that. Or where ever the heck he goes for such “activities”.
Click to expand...

If I'm gonna do that, I'd need to buy these old skool pair of Vaurnets, and some OP shorts.

7038176


Lou Reed also said that "he shaved his legs, then he was a she".
I guess you gotta do that before you take that walk.

I don't think I'd enjoy the Buffalo Bill tuck either.
 
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Threadcutter308 said:
Funny, but I'm not upvoting that. Too much room for mis-understanding.....Intentional or otherwise. :unsure::LOL::LOL::LOL:

Jimmy, you got snow ? We're gettin' snow........Northerlies, headed your way, methinks.
Click to expand...


I fully concur. No Homo. :LOL: It was snowing awhile ago in Longview. I don't know about around here right now. I'm deep within the Gulag and have no windows, camer/outside monitor, or contact with the outside. Hence 'trying' to be an asshole today.......... ?
 
Mike Casselton said:
If I'm gonna do that, I'd need to buy these old skool pair of Vaurnets, and some OP shorts.

View attachment 7038176

Lou Reed also said that "he shaved his legs, then he was a she".
I guess you gotta do that before you take that walk.

I don't think I'd enjoy the Buffalo Bill tuck either.
Click to expand...

After looking everywhere I was able to find a nice pair of Vaurnets in Caesar's Palace at a sunglass' store. I wore 'em until they wore out. Don't see them very many places anymore.

Didn't sport the glacier glasses back in the day. Cat eyes was my style.

Edit: One of the few name brand sunglass' NOT owned by Luxotica and they're monopoly on sunglass'.

Luxottica - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org en.wikipedia.org

And why you don't find them in stores very often.
 
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