Ughh, I'm so effen sick of The Bachelor on television. I'm stuck watching it with the girlfriend, again, three weeks in a row. This dude should be boning all the chicks, but he's not. Douche.
It got me to thinking that they could never film this type of drivel in Wheat Ridge, Colorado. But if they did, here's some of the test questions that the chicks and the dude would have to pass.
1)Who has had the most meth lab fires?
2)Who has lived the longest off welfare?
3)Who can roll the best joint?
4)Who has done the longest stint in the county lockup?
5)Has anyone ever found a grilled cheese sandwich in their sweaty fatrolls?
6)How many kids do you have that you can't afford?
7)How many domestic violence arrests have you had?
8)When you get punched in the face, how bad does it hurt? (Correct answer: It doesn't hurt--I'm too damn drunk).
9)Is your wallet on a chain?
10)How long have you been styling your mullet?
11)Raise your hands if you know that Food Stamps AREN'T for postal purposes.
12)Name two recipes for Government Cheese (No, you can't just add Top Ramen, either).
13)Is your trailer level?
14)How often do you see the dentist? (Correct answer: Why bother? Them teeth dun rotted out years ago).
15)Are you financially secure or just Independently Poverty Stricken?
Somehow I think my show here in Wheat Ridge, CO would far surpass this crappy Bachelor show on television.
Then the chicks who don't get along would be allowed to brawl in an octagon, street style, not UFC-style. There would be tons of "Shut up bitch, SMACK!!!". They'd even be allowed to use weapons, especially heated up meth pipes that they could stab each other with.
Anyone wanna help finance this????
It got me to thinking that they could never film this type of drivel in Wheat Ridge, Colorado. But if they did, here's some of the test questions that the chicks and the dude would have to pass.
1)Who has had the most meth lab fires?
2)Who has lived the longest off welfare?
3)Who can roll the best joint?
4)Who has done the longest stint in the county lockup?
5)Has anyone ever found a grilled cheese sandwich in their sweaty fatrolls?
6)How many kids do you have that you can't afford?
7)How many domestic violence arrests have you had?
8)When you get punched in the face, how bad does it hurt? (Correct answer: It doesn't hurt--I'm too damn drunk).
9)Is your wallet on a chain?
10)How long have you been styling your mullet?
11)Raise your hands if you know that Food Stamps AREN'T for postal purposes.
12)Name two recipes for Government Cheese (No, you can't just add Top Ramen, either).
13)Is your trailer level?
14)How often do you see the dentist? (Correct answer: Why bother? Them teeth dun rotted out years ago).
15)Are you financially secure or just Independently Poverty Stricken?
Somehow I think my show here in Wheat Ridge, CO would far surpass this crappy Bachelor show on television.
Then the chicks who don't get along would be allowed to brawl in an octagon, street style, not UFC-style. There would be tons of "Shut up bitch, SMACK!!!". They'd even be allowed to use weapons, especially heated up meth pipes that they could stab each other with.
Anyone wanna help finance this????
