The most retarded action movie on the planet?

n2ishun

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    Some decent calls, but nothing tops (or bottoms ?) 'They call me Bruce'.

    Do you like Sushi like I like Sushi ?

     

    MCSO1357

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    2DF38AA9-73FD-4611-8080-09B9A27737E4.jpeg
     

    MK20

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    There was a German made WWII movie involving some British characters and some resistance folks. It played on AFN over and over back in 2021. It is literally the worst movie I have ever seen.

    I don't know the name.
     
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    PDXGS

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    A college roomate and I set out from Berkeley in my 78 Saab turbo one spring morning. Destination, Tommy's Burgers nearest to Marina del Rey. Out plan was to fill two coolers with double chili cheeseburgers. Haul them back up to Berkeley and sell them at a huge profit to all of our dorm mates.
    We arrived early and happened by Graumans Chinese Theater on the opening night of Cobra. There were still tickets to buy so we bought a pair and sat through that piece of shit....with Sy and Brigitte Nielsen seated in a box seat. The cool AR was parked out front and after the movie, Nielsens legs were on full display.
    Roommate and I filled the coolers, crashed for two hours on his dad's boat in Marina del Rey lit our for NorCal averaging about 90MPH....and arrived back at the dorms the next morning to sell every last burger....epic trip, laughably horrible movie, awesome legs.
     
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    GTOJOSH

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    Ai. Was supposed to be good. Had the kid from i see dead people, big actors, total waste of my life.
    Here are some characters.
    Here are some new characters.
    Here are some more.
    Here is some backstory on some of the- nevermind, you'll never see most of those characters again.
    Here are some new ones.
    They dont matter either.
    Where were we going with this movie?
    Its blade runner- nevermind
    I'm actually pinocchio, and I just want my Fake mom to love me and this man whore robot like I'm a real bo- nevermind. Everyone on the planet is dead. The earth is froze.
    Aliens,
    blah blah blah, here is you dead mom for an hour now rot in lonely hell you abomination.

    Not that I'm still bitter about it or anything.
     

    eflyguy

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    I can't think of one that was worth watching, but you can put Black Widow on the list for this thread. If there was a plot, I guess I'm too dumb to see it. Total garbage. Got Disney+ with a change in mobile device plan so been "catching up" on stuff I couldn't be bothered to pay for at the redbox.
     

    diggler1833

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    The movies that are straight badass when you're eight...but are WTF horrible when you're 38+ and want to see them again:

    - The Beastmaster
    - Gymkata

    Also saw parts of Tango and Cash when I arrived at the San Diego USO, waiting to get onto a bus for MCRD to begin my journey in the Marines. Never saw it again, and made a point of it to watch that movie on the day I retired (21 years later). It frigging sucked so bad I had to force myself to finish it...just because. I could have gone another 21 without missing a thing.
     

    Im2bent

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    The movies that are straight badass when you're eight...but are WTF horrible when you're 38+ and want to see them again:

    - The Beastmaster
    - Gymkata

    Also saw parts of Tango and Cash when I arrived at the San Diego USO, waiting to get onto a bus for MCRD to begin my journey in the Marines. Never saw it again, and made a point of it to watch that movie on the day I retired (21 years later). It frigging sucked so bad I had to force myself to finish it...just because. I could have gone another 21 without missing a thing.
    Haaaa I saw gymkata in theaters unfortunately I was not 8 yrs old... for those who don't know about this turkey the guy playing the hero was an Olympic gymnast I believe he won gold. So yes in the movie there is a pommel horse fight scene lulz.

     

    Herb Stoner

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    Not a fan of the genre so can’t pick just one.

    Anything with Ahnold, Stallone, Wayne, Marvel or other comic characters. All ‘tarded
     

    Mk16.5

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    Mystery Men, Tom Waits as Dr. Heller. Specialist in non-lethal weapons, Tornado in a Can, The Blame Thrower, The Shrinker (simple dry cleaning technology)
     

    RUTGERS95

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    the worst ever has to be that hulk hogan movie 'no holds barred'. so bad we audited it as they gave tickets to hs kids to review. My response to best part was the end. My answer to which part I disliked, the rest!
     
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    GUN NUT in IA

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    Haaaa I saw gymkata in theaters unfortunately I was not 8 yrs old... for those who don't know about this turkey the guy playing the hero was an Olympic gymnast I believe he won gold. So yes in the movie there is a pommel horse fight scene lulz.


    Are there any movies like this that star a women's college beach volleyball team?

    Asking for a friend because I want to know.
     

    chevy_man

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    Some of you need to look for Jesus rather than the crazy shit you're finding.


    I guess I don't watch much. If it has explosions, gunfire, racing/wrecking cars and some semblance of a plot it's a decent action movie. If you came for the story and not the explosions, it's probably not your genre.
     

    Sniperwannabee

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    Chuck Norris... The Delta Force.

    Though Lee Marvin had a really cool watch. Which I now own.

    Oh and Cobra. Which a buddy and I watched something like 60 times one summer because we had free HBO at our 'billet' apartment and it was on like... every night. We watched it so often, we knew every line.

    "You're a disease... and I'm the cure."

    "You know what your problem is? You are too violent."

    We spent the entire summer of 1987 watching that movie, playing racquetball, taking easy language classes, banging college girls, watching Mike Tyson... and cooking ribs. And every chance we got, using quotes from the movie and cracking up everyone but our instructors.

    Ah ha hah haa... so bad...

    Sirhr
    Are you insane??? If it has chuck norris it is a all time great
     
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    Keel Haul

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    I got all you beat. I’m sad to say I worked with one of the... actors... in the movie a decade ago. He was all excited about being in his first movie that he brought it in for us to watch. I present to you- When Soldiers Cry.

    A sample of some of the reviews on IMDB-

    “This movie should be re-branded as a comedy. If anyone tells you they have seen the worse movie ever made, you can always ask them if they have seen 'When Soldiers Cry'? This easily is the worse movie I have ever seen by a long stretch.”

    “I can not recall watching a worse movie, nor anything close to it. Some investors should be looking to get a refund on this piece of "work". They and the viewing audience were scammed.”

    “I read all the reviews prior to watching this thing. I didn't think anything could be nearly as bad as the comments written about this movie. I figured, how bad could a war movie really be? Well, I can honestly say, it is worse than anyone before me described.”

    The rest can be found at-


    Watch this movie at your own peril. No one will give you those minutes of your life back on this steaming pile of shit called a movie.
     

    TexPatriot

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    Are you insane??? If it has chuck norris it is a all time great
    Shit. Steven Seagal, Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme should all three have a cage match to settle who makes the shittiest movies. I do wish I had a motorcycle that shot RPG's out the ass like in Delta Force though. Didn't Van Damme get his ass handed to him by a nightclub bouncer back when he was making movies?

    Back in the late 90's, when Walker Texas Ranger was still on the air, some Rangers offered to meet and introduce themselves to Chuck Norris. One would have thought he would have welcomed the meeting and chance to hang out with the real deal. He sent word through his agent he was too busy and wasn't interested. The Rangers all had a good laugh.
     
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    PDXGS

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    Has no one here, besides me, seen Night of the Lepus?
    On yeah....my ancestors wouldve killed and eaten every last giant rabbit in a few days....cooked in a skillet, slowly in cream sherry,garlic,olive oil and salt.....with a baguette
     
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    JoshPutman

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    I just watched an epic stinker on Roku last night. Wesley Snipes in "GallowWalkers".

    Damn was it fucking stupid. I fell asleep about halfway through, and didn't care when I woke up this morning. Saved me shutting it off I suppose 😆
     

    cas6969

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    What I always like about threads like this is, I see some of the titles listed and think to myself, "What was it that made you think this could possibly be anything but awful?" lmao
     

    Jgault

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    The Postman with Kevin Kostner, the apocalyptic end of the country occurs but he takes it upon himself to deliver the mail, it’s like it was written by Cliff from Cheers.