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This made me LOL. Come inside for some real football stuff.

TheGerman

Oberleutnant
Full Member
Minuteman
  • Jan 25, 2010
    10,608
    30,188
    the Westside
    Surprise Cockfags. I said football. Not 'Hand Egg'.

    Ok, so most of you probably won't know what this is about, so allow me to explain.

    While the picture below doesn't look like anything spectacular, its hilarious to anyone that knows who it actually is. The guy on the bike is Arjen Robben, probably one of, if not the best inverted wingers in world football, ever. Most recently played on my home team, Bayern Munich, where they won what is referred to as the treble; you win your domestic 1st tier league, you win your country's 'cup' league, and you win the entire European league that consists of nothing but teams that had won their domestic leagues the year before with payrolls in the 100s of millions.

    So basically, you win the Superbowl, then you win a league where it includes every team from AA up to the pros, and then you win another league where its every All Star team from every European country playing each other - in the same year.

    So whats he do? He decides to semi retire and go back to Holland. Instead of just sitting at home drinking Mai Tais or cow porridge all day or whatever they drink in Holland, he decides to go and try out for his home team where he got his start and play for them, well, just because why not. His last year's salary could basically buy this entire club, Bayern Munich's smallest training field that they have their 14 year olds practice in dwarf's this teams stadium. Yet motherfucker just shows up like its the Superbowl again and is almost twice everyone's age.

    And then he goes to the games, gets a bunch of assists and runs everyone around in circles.....and then doesn't even change his kit, gets on his bike and peddles home while probably stopping to pick up his dry cleaning or some shit.

    This is basically Scottie Pippen riding his bike home in his training uniform after winning a series in the playoffs.

    1620765249027.png
     
    Soccer, psh.

    Looks like hes contemplating life choices. Or maybe what kind of child porn hes going to rub one out to when he gets home.
     
    I appreciate the Scottie Pippen reference... Thanks for putting this story in terms my non-soccer ass could understand.
     
    Sometimes the retired pros end up in MLS. I wonder how much to get him to play here? I bet we'd pay more than his Holland team.
     
    Sometimes the retired pros end up in MLS. I wonder how much to get him to play here? I bet we'd pay more than his Holland team.

    There's basically 2 main categories of guys from Europe going to the MLS to semi retire.

    - Gigantic payout money to play against guys that are worse than your practice squad

    - Guys that were decent or good and made money, but took a page from the NBA/NFL and are about to go bankrupt

    China actually did this for a few years where they would pull people in the middle of their career to the China 'Superleague' because they would pay them some insane amount of money that they couldn't make even in Europe. Funny enough, China passed some sort of law that stopped this.
     
    Dang, I've always felt we could develop good talent stateside. Hopefully TBI regulations will kill football and bring about a futbol renaissance in the USA.

    Pearl clutchers are already preventing their kids from joing football teams anyhow. Just a matter of time.
     
    Thanks for the background information, I haven’t followed European sports much in many years. Dude sounds like a master level skill and talent. Der Siegender Hollander! lol.

    You’re making me miss Berlin. I moved back stateside during the 94 World Cup, after grade 10. The contrast in enthusiasm and energy for football from Berlin to suburban SLC was absurd. ‘Soccer’ was a sport for kids and broke college students who couldn’t dribble a basketball or threw like a girl.

    That said, soccer chicks are reliably smokin’ hot and uniformly in great physical condition.

    No fatties on the pitch!!!
     
    Thanks for the background information, I haven’t followed European sports much in many years. Dude sounds like a master level skill and talent. Der Siegender Hollander! lol.

    You’re making me miss Berlin. I moved back stateside during the 94 World Cup, after grade 10. The contrast in enthusiasm and energy for football from Berlin to suburban SLC was absurd. ‘Soccer’ was a sport for kids and broke college students who couldn’t dribble a basketball or threw like a girl.

    That said, soccer chicks are reliably smokin’ hot and uniformly in great physical condition.

    No fatties on the pitch!!!

    Where in Berlin?

    I went to Uni at Freie
     
    Dahlem in die Brümmerstraße. Zwischen Dahlem und Thielplatz, U2 Linie.

    Damn my German is rusty. Right by the Freie Uni, I’d ride my bike to school past it, on my way to Zehlendorf.
     
    hahaha, i like to play basketball with kids. it is fun to block shots from somebody that is only 4' tall.

    am i doing it right if i ride my bike home?
     
    Small world.

    I’ve noticed sports is one of the few acceptable outlets for national pride. Football being the most universally played.

    Any Bundesliga teams buying into that proposed super league?
     
    Scottie Pippen on a bike? Nah he'd be bitching in a corner about something or crying he didn't get the ball...
     
    Seems like a non pretentious guy could probably have a beer with him and talk about shooting......but Miss Gulch wants her bicycle back.....

    1620771410787.png
     
    Small world.

    I’ve noticed sports is one of the few acceptable outlets for national pride. Football being the most universally played.

    Any Bundesliga teams buying into that proposed super league?

    No.

    It died because no German teams would acknowledge it and then there was a giant fan revolt. The most noted one was with Man United where the angry fans stormed the field in the stadium. Part of the reason no German teams did is due to the 50+1 rule and they knew the fans would lose their shit anyways.

    Now there are sanctions on the teams that started it, but have not yet been disclosed. UEFA was pondering removing the rights to play in the UEFA cup and Champions League for a duration for them, while the Serie A has threatened to relegate Juventus.

    It would also be awesome if Die Mannschaft would start to no longer suck once they toss Low. I have no idea how he wasn't literally exiled to an island somewhere after the last WC. I remember everyone drooling at the time as to how Germany could literally field 2 full teams at the WC and both could win it, yet then they couldn't get out of the group stage in the first time in history. How do you even fuck that up so bad?
     
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    I liken this to explaining why a custom GAP rifle with $3K glass is so unbelievably awesome and necessary to the 80 year old hillbilly who has killed 300 deer in his lifetime from 25-75 yards with a .30-30.

    We are simply the wrong target audience, and the gravity of the feat is lost on us.

    Not that this isn't an awesome story, because it really is. It's just hard to appreciate it as much as the beholder because I don't know who that athlete is...and the photo looks like Putin on a stolen Schwinn.
     
    Thanks for the background information, I haven’t followed European sports much in many years. Dude sounds like a master level skill and talent. Der Siegender Hollander! lol.

    You’re making me miss Berlin. I moved back stateside during the 94 World Cup, after grade 10. The contrast in enthusiasm and energy for football from Berlin to suburban SLC was absurd. ‘Soccer’ was a sport for kids and broke college students who couldn’t dribble a basketball or threw like a girl.

    That said, soccer chicks are reliably smokin’ hot and uniformly in great physical condition.

    No fatties on the pitch!!!
    I was at the USA-Brazil 94 World Cup game. I saw Tab Ramos get his face broken. The Brazilian fans were awesome.
     
    I stopped watching when they emptied the stadiums for the corona bullshit. The assholes are still playing empty stadiums. Its just not the same without the fans.
     
    Oh and they need to start red carding the floppers
     
    I stopped watching when they emptied the stadiums for the corona bullshit. The assholes are still playing empty stadiums. Its just not the same without the fans.

    Yeah its kind of painful to watch without the fans.

    Unlike the fans for NBA, NFL, MLB where its all soulless and just people loitering there until someone scores and then they jump around like they were part of it. European football's fans as as much of the game as the players.

    The atmosphere during a game is insane and the change in what the 'organized' fan blocks do during the game is something people going to sports ball shit in the US cannot even begin to comprehend.
     
    Surprise Cockfags. I said football. Not 'Hand Egg'.

    Ok, so most of you probably won't know what this is about, so allow me to explain.

    While the picture below doesn't look like anything spectacular, its hilarious to anyone that knows who it actually is. The guy on the bike is Arjen Robben, probably one of, if not the best inverted wingers in world football, ever. Most recently played on my home team, Bayern Munich, where they won what is referred to as the treble; you win your domestic 1st tier league, you win your country's 'cup' league, and you win the entire European league that consists of nothing but teams that had won their domestic leagues the year before with payrolls in the 100s of millions.

    So basically, you win the Superbowl, then you win a league where it includes every team from AA up to the pros, and then you win another league where its every All Star team from every European country playing each other - in the same year.

    So whats he do? He decides to semi retire and go back to Holland. Instead of just sitting at home drinking Mai Tais or cow porridge all day or whatever they drink in Holland, he decides to go and try out for his home team where he got his start and play for them, well, just because why not. His last year's salary could basically buy this entire club, Bayern Munich's smallest training field that they have their 14 year olds practice in dwarf's this teams stadium. Yet motherfucker just shows up like its the Superbowl again and is almost twice everyone's age.

    And then he goes to the games, gets a bunch of assists and runs everyone around in circles.....and then doesn't even change his kit, gets on his bike and peddles home while probably stopping to pick up his dry cleaning or some shit.

    This is basically Scottie Pippen riding his bike home in his training uniform after winning a series in the playoffs.

    View attachment 7623264

    Ha! That's fucking awesome!
     
    Lol if you every played, you'd understand it was not an insult....

    I'll be the first to admit that Soccer/Football is lost on me. Mostly becuase the US sucks, Fuck Mexico, and I root for Africa. We've got men, we;ve got rockets, WHY CAN WE NOT DOMINATE THIS SPORT!
    there are some great world class american players, but football, basketball and baseball are going to draw most of the top athletes.
    because there is little money is women's sports, soccer can attract the best female athletes without much competition, and dominate.
    imagine tyreek hill as a winger or forward. the other side would be begging for an offside on every run, because they would be beaten every time.
     
    there are some great world class american players, but football, basketball and baseball are going to draw most of the top athletes.
    because there is little money is women's sports, soccer can attract the best female athletes without much competition, and dominate.
    imagine tyreek hill as a winger or forward. the other side would be begging for an offside on every run, because they would be beaten every time.
    Yeah top athletes lulz.
    1620784363362.png
     
    Surprise Cockfags. I said football. Not 'Hand Egg'.

    Ok, so most of you probably won't know what this is about, so allow me to explain.

    While the picture below doesn't look like anything spectacular, its hilarious to anyone that knows who it actually is. The guy on the bike is Arjen Robben, probably one of, if not the best inverted wingers in world football, ever. Most recently played on my home team, Bayern Munich, where they won what is referred to as the treble; you win your domestic 1st tier league, you win your country's 'cup' league, and you win the entire European league that consists of nothing but teams that had won their domestic leagues the year before with payrolls in the 100s of millions.

    So basically, you win the Superbowl, then you win a league where it includes every team from AA up to the pros, and then you win another league where its every All Star team from every European country playing each other - in the same year.

    So whats he do? He decides to semi retire and go back to Holland. Instead of just sitting at home drinking Mai Tais or cow porridge all day or whatever they drink in Holland, he decides to go and try out for his home team where he got his start and play for them, well, just because why not. His last year's salary could basically buy this entire club, Bayern Munich's smallest training field that they have their 14 year olds practice in dwarf's this teams stadium. Yet motherfucker just shows up like its the Superbowl again and is almost twice everyone's age.

    And then he goes to the games, gets a bunch of assists and runs everyone around in circles.....and then doesn't even change his kit, gets on his bike and peddles home while probably stopping to pick up his dry cleaning or some shit.

    This is basically Scottie Pippen riding his bike home in his training uniform after winning a series in the playoffs.

    View attachment 7623264

    So Jordan took the pic from his car?

    Cool story bro





    Cockfags.......😂🤣😂
     
    • Haha
    Reactions: Aftermath