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Maggie’s What do your local douchebags drive?

I thought about it. The douchebags in my area all drive different things... but they ususally are over weight and in a ufc or affliction shirt
 
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For the most part in the state it's the Subaru Outback with all the stupid coexist, rainbow flag stickers. More locally, I see a ton of Jeeps and pickups decked out like they're about to climb Mt Kilimanjaro, but we all know they're the equivalent of the "operator as fuck" poser at the range
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For those that need to hear it, if you're getting passed on the right, you're the douchebag.

Not if I'm running my normal 88-92mph in a 70 mph zone.
If I get passed on the right, the guy passing me is an accident waiting to happen.
 
Not if I'm running my normal 88-92mph in a 70 mph zone.
If I get passed on the right, the guy passing me is an accident waiting to happen.
Recently i have had people trying to pass on the left, on a 2 lane road, when im turning left.... it is beginning to get to me, i havent chased anyone down to explain that this is gonna kill someone one day.... im pretty sure i would have to use the word muerte instead anyways.
 
I disagree. In my experience it's the fucking Texans and New Mexicans that always fail to understand what KEEP RIGHT EXCEPT TO PASS means

I lived in NM for a few years.

The locals have a name for it. When a car decides to pass another on the left, but both pieces of shit are topped out at 50mph, side by side, down the highway...

It's called the Navajo roadblock.
 
I lived in NM for a few years.

The locals have a name for it. When a car decides to pass another on the left, but both pieces of shit are topped out at 50mph, side by side, down the highway...

It's called the Navajo roadblock.
I was living in the desert near carlsbad on the hobbs side. I was on a well just out in the desert for like 3 months, so i got bored and craigslisted a booty call. The chick was a nurse and really nice lol, i asked her to tell me some interesting stories and she got me with a doozie. She said she had a guy choppered in that was indian. He said he had a problem being addicted to masturbating and it was causing problems in his marriage. So his remedy was to take an axe and cut his wankin hand off. Those are the locals lol, too much sun.
 
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So, you doing 18 to 22 over the limit is OK. The guy doing 23 over is a reckless asshole? Why wouldn't you just get over and let them go by?

1. Um, yeah. Because if you're not running 85+ your ass will get run over. This isn't the front range, it's the west coast of FL Daytona 500.

2. Yes. BTW, you called him the reckless asshole.
I said it's an accident waiting to happen, and, it happens often.
It's not 23 over or I would have a chance to see it coming up behind me. It's closer to 110-120mph, and they are usually in pairs.

3. Because most of the time they don't bother trying to use the left lane. It's more like dodge ball with vehicles.
 
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I was living in the desert near carlsbad on the hobbs side. I was on a well just out in the desert for like 3 months, so i got bored and craigslisted a booty call. The chick was a nurse and really nice lol, i asked her to tell me some interesting stories and she got me with a doozie. She said she had a guy choppered in that was indian. He said he had a problem being addicted to masturbating and it was causing problems in his marriage. So his remedy was to take an axe and cut his wankin hand off. Those are the locals lol, too much sun.

Yea, I got similar stories. I lived in Roswell, just north of Carlsbad.

I was staying at a hotel room one evening, laying in bed in my chones, watching TV and drinking a Tecate. The door handle starts jiggling. Then it starts jiggling violently, so I pick up my pistol from the bedside stand.

Suddenly a 10,ish year old girl runs into the room at a full sprint. When she sees a half naked guy with a pistol laying on the bed, she spun around and ran right back out squeeling! I looked out in the hall, and her parents were standing in the hall looking all bewildered. Turns out the retard clerk booked them into my room, when they checked in.

Had some epic fights with the clerks at the motor vehicle office in Roswell. I moved to NM from AZ. In AZ boats have a "certificate of ownership", issued from AZ Game & Fish. But in NM, boats have "titles".

Roswell MV won't issue you a NM boat title unless you can provide a valid title from the state you left. Since there's no such thing as an AZ boat title, apparently it's impossible to register a boat from AZ, in New Mexico. I finally got it registered by dropping by the MV office in Las Cruces while travelling one day.

NM is like Texas's retarded little cousin.






I went to the drive-thru @ Taco bell there, once, for lunch. It was 11:05 am. Here's how the conversation went:

Me: After waiting for a couple minutes, and asking "is anyone there?"

Reply from TacobellTard: da'fuq u want? We ain't open till 11!

Me: um, it's 11:05?

TacobellTard: (this is verbatim)
bullshitt! Wait, aw fuck, um ok, sorry, umm, can I take your order?

Me: nope! Have a nice day.

I didn't want that fucker anywhere near my food.
 
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Yea, I got similar stories. I lived in Roswell, just north of Carlsbad.

I was staying at a hotel room one evening, laying in bed in my chones, watching TV and drinking a Tecate. The door handle starts jiggling. Then it starts jiggling violently, so I pick up my pistol from the bedside stand.

Suddenly a 10,ish year old girl runs into the room at a full sprint. When she sees a half naked guy with a pistol laying on the bed, she spun around and ran right back out squeeling! I looked out in the hall, and her parents were standing in the hall looking all bewildered. Turns out the retard clerk booked them into my room, when they checked in.

Had some epic fights with the clerks at the motor vehicle office in Roswell. I moved to NM from AZ. In AZ boats have a "certificate of ownership", issued from AZ Game & Fish. But in NM, boats have "titles".

Roswell MV won't issue you a NM boat title unless you can provide a valid title from the state you left. Since there's no such thing as an AZ boat title, apparently it's impossible to register a boat from AZ, in New Mexico. I finally got it registered by dropping by the MV office in Las Cruces while travelling one day.

NM is like Texas's retarded little cousin.
Not on a well i was on, but one my company was flowing at the time. They came to sabotage the well... so they unbolted the well head with over 5000 psi on it. Under the valves, like ground level. They said it basically vaporized the dude when he got it close enough to let go... insanity
 
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1. Um, yeah. Because if you're not running 85+ your ass will get run over. This isn't the front range, it's the west coast of FL Daytona 500.

2. Yes. BTW, you called him the reckless asshole.
I said it's an accident waiting to happen, and, it happens often.
It's not 23 over or I would have a chance to see it coming up behind me. It's closer to 110-120mph, and they are usually in pairs.

3. Because most of the time they don't bother trying to use the left lane. It's more like dodge ball with vehicles.
Yep that's florida for you
 
Not if I'm running my normal 88-92mph in a 70 mph zone.
If I get passed on the right, the guy passing me is an accident waiting to happen.
Why not run your oddly specific 88-92 in the right hand lane? I don't know the laws in your state, but left lane is for passing only in TX, not for highway nannys to run what they arbitrarily consider to be the upper limit of safe.

We have freeways with posted 85mph speed limits and you better be running 100+ or you're going to get hit.
 
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The only place that one is able to drive solely in the right lane is I-fucking-4 going from Tampa to that mouse shit hole of a city.
No thanks. I'll drive 30 miles out of my way and pay $14.00 in bullshit tolls to avoid it.

Unfortunately we are still stuck with 70mph.

A large portion of the left lane hogs are from up north and they drive like they own the road.
Many areas of our interstates are 4-5 lanes wide in both directions and all people do is shuffle around each other instead of using the lanes like they were designed.

Keep right except to pass is so foreign to them. Idiots enter the acceleration lane at 50 and as soon as they get parallel to traffic, they push their way into the left lane.
From there they drive under the limit.
8 miles later their exit comes up and they move 4-5 lanes right at the very last second.
We have accidents every day because of it and I can pinpoint the road sections where it occurs.
Fucking retarded.


I'd love to have higher speed limits, but just like Gov DeSantis said, all it will do is raise the average speed that drivers will go.


Left lane Nanny? I'm in the left lane to pass and I move over just like I was taught.

You think 88-92 is oddly specific?
If I'm driving the interstate, that's where my truck tends to settle at. There's not a chance in hell of using cruise around here because there's too much traffic. Unless maybe you're driving around 0200-0330 hrs.
 
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So I live in Massachusetts where pretty much everybody on the road is somebody's doucehbag. Especially if they have Rhode Island plates. Doesn't matter if your in a car or truck, on a motorcycle, riding a bicycle or on foot, you're someone's DB. I commute about an hour to work every morning from the south coast to just south of Boston. The highway speed limits are 65 and 55. I can be doing 85 and be passed on the right or left or both at the same time. There are state police parked on the grass between on and off ramps that don't even blink at this. The real douchebag's are the ones that jam on their brakes when they see said officer and slow to 60/50 causing a chain reaction where a half mile back traffic comes to a complete stop. It's amazing there aren't more fatalities on these roads.

Around town this time of year, it's the spandex wearing pack of bicycle riders that are usually everyone's douchebag. They ride 2 or 3 abreast taking up the whole lane and won't move to single file to let traffic pass.

As for bumper stickers, being the communist republic of MA, we get the usual Bernie, Coexist, I'm with her, Joe and the Ho, and all manner of rainbow stickers almost exclusively on Subaru's and Prius'. That's not to say that all Subaru's and Prius' are owned screaming liberals... Surprisingly, we do get a fair amount of Trump related stickers, mostly on trucks. Best one I have seen lately was simply a large, flag themed "45" on the back window of a pickup.

They don't call us Massholes for nothing.
 
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Over engineered hunk o' shit German automobiles with a burnt out headlight, or extremely dim headlights, and no rear lights because wannabe ballers don't have the money to replace the fucking things or get the wiring fixed.
 
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Around here the MV makes no difference, they are all too busy driving their phones as they motor down the freeway.... fucking pieces of shit
 

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I'm probably a douche. I drive this.
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Ordering a bunch of parts this weekend. Got a 10 day overlanding trip in September.
 
I have noticed that peoples personality and their vehicle seem to align. If I dont know a person, I can almost look at their vehicle and determine if I even want to engage in conversation with them.
 
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G wagons (no idea the appeal)
BMW, apparently a cultural thing

rarely found parked fully between the lines, often crossing the lines while driving despite both hands on the wheels and eyes on the road, also seldom seen old enough not to have a dealer tag while not having at least one dent or scratch.

Or tractor trailers and dump truck who opt to live in the left lane.
 
Subaru or big white fucking pick-ups.

The other surprising thing to see is a $30,000 horse trailer being towed by a 1979 beat up ford or chevy pick-up.
 
Loving my Subi and far from liberal. Oh, and my ridiculously huge F350. :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:

Just drove to Oklahoma from Delaware. The theme was left lane drivers who catch then pace you til you get to a tractor trailer. I started speeding up to cut them off and pacing the truck for many miles. some got the point and quickly passed when I got back in the right lane. A surprising number of Nissan vehicles were doing this.
 
At least you drive yours off the pavement.
Too many fuckers around here with 4x4s that have never even seen a grass field.
I see this comment a lot. Does it matter? Does a person with a sports car need to do track days with their car?

Its the same as "why do you need a 30 round magazine?". Or why does a car need a 500hp engine, or why do some feel compelled to eat 5000 calories instead of 2000.

Who cares!! And im sure you really dont care.
 
around here, truck drivers drive as fast if not faster than average, and i would not consider them douche anything.
i do find them annoying to drive behind, because i cannot see around or through them, but that is just the way it is.
i don't like dickheads in panel trucks that ride the fast lane, or the prius faggots.
around here, if the carpool or hov lane is slower than the regular lanes, you can almost bet there is a prius in front of that shit.
 
I see this comment a lot. Does it matter? Does a person with a sports car need to do track days with their car?

Its the same as "why do you need a 30 round magazine?". Or why does a car need a 500hp engine, or why do some feel compelled to eat 5000 calories instead of 2000.

Who cares!! And im sure you really dont care.
hahaha, i drove with my friend back from lunch in his porsche widebody (that he also takes to the track)

i think a little bit of pee came out.
 
I see this comment a lot. Does it matter? Does a person with a sports car need to do track days with their car?

Its the same as "why do you need a 30 round magazine?". Or why does a car need a 500hp engine, or why do some feel compelled to eat 5000 calories instead of 2000.

Who cares!! And im sure you really dont care.
It'd be great to see them put some of that money into brake upgrades so they can stop that nonsense in a reasonable distance.
 
Whitey Douche drives a Honda with MayPops
White Trash Douche drives jacked 4x4 with wheels hanging over the cheap-ass & fugly plastic fender flares about 10”, sometimes seen on side of road with his wheel bearings locked up and smokin🤦🏻‍♂️
Black Douche drives a 1980 Buick LeSabre with ass dragging the ground, RIMZ that he pays on monthly, the driver’s seat reclined back till all you can see is nappy head and rollin eyes, if you can see through the home-rolled bubbled up illegal tint.
Asian Douche drives a Jeep with some fine legs over in the passenger seat. She usually has a German Shepherd fur missile to pet.
Mexican/Puerto Rican/Cuban/Guatemalan/Southern End of the World Douche drives a Rice Burner POS with no muffler, lowered and air-assisted to jump up and down.
Need someone to loan me some RPG’s so as to send this crap to the scrap yard in lil pieces.🤯
 
In my AO here in Bell Co. central TX, it's a mixed bag especially since speed limits are only a suggestion in Texas. What really pisses me off the most are the tail gaiters. You can be doing 10 over the speed limit and still some asshole is on your bumper. I was driving from Belton to Killeen the other day on Lake road and some idiot even passed me on the shoulder, freaked me out. we have a lot of the Dodge Challenger, Camaro crazy soldier types, soccer moms driving mini vans and Subaru whatever plus all the people driving jacked up, four wheel drive pick ups with giant rims with fake bead lockers.
Bottom line most just drive too fast. I-35 is like driving in a NASCAR race with the asshats weaving in and out and tail gaiting at 80 +
 
Hi,

OK so me and some rocket surgeons spent some time this weekend going over a provable and repeatable scientific equation to locate Douchebag Drivers.....

So without further ado; I introduce to you the Douche-Drive'ic equation.
It is simple for you none scientific guys to use also.....follow the arrow to the Douchebags...

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Sincerely,
Theis
 
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Bottom line most just drive too fast. I-35 is like driving in a NASCAR race with the asshats weaving in and out and tail gaiting at 80 +
My son and I spent a good bit of time in the Houston area during the late 1990’s. Don’t know how much it has changed, but 80mph was the minimum recommended in the slow lane.

Anyone contemplating driving in Houston during the morning or afternoon commute.....make sure you have fresh tires (r-rated preferably as in Race, R Rated) and also be sure the v-8 or turbo v-6 is up to the task. Also, remove any extraneous weight from the vehicle to assist in acceleration. Koni shocks and some good springs are never a bad idea. And if one drives a Miata (nothing wrong with a Miata but with only a top end of about 120 it is a bit slow for Houston) throw out the vanity roll bars and get the real thing. Besides a real roll bar is really a nice touch in a Miata.
 
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