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Maggie’s The "I hate cyclists" thread.

Dirty D

Resident Sommelier of cellulite
Full Member
Minuteman
Mar 29, 2010
15,816
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Your moms house
I know that you finely tuned physiques have some pent up aggressions against bicyclists and need to vent, I get it almost every time that I go riding and no one has yet to take my invitation to haul their ass out of their car/truck and say it to my face, I'm a scary mfer at 5',2 5/8" so they just drive on. I'll get this party started.

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As if you needed any more reasons to hate cyclists here is PPB in his new bike shorts.

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We all hate them west of Houston. The cowboys out here spray them with WD 40 to melt their spandex. Been a few of them killed due to their stupidity by not following the rules of the roads. LE are finally giving them tickets for running stop signs.....$250 fine.
 
As a cyclist, I hate those asshats that act like they don't have to obey the rules of the road.
I've kicked a few out of our group because of that behavior.
We ride a pace line and do not ride two abreast except for dropping back or passing.

With that said, I hate the jack holes that creep up behind and lay on the horn even worse.
This guy in a blue diesel F-250 used to do that and then roll coal.
One of our group is a deputy sheriff...
Ass munch got an "in uniform" visit one morning from him.
Haven't had a problem with that guy since then.
It's really too bad that we can't all just get along. But, there are way too many dumbasses on bikes, and driving vehicles.

As far as the invitation to get out of the vehicle, no one's taken me up it.
I'm only 6' and 200lbs. One of my riding partners is 6'3" and 215. He hasn't been taken up on it either.
The biggest problems are in the downtown area, or what I call the numbered street sections. Walking or riding, they refuse to look and just cross like they don't have a care in the world.
I'm just gonna stop here before I start a rant.
Nice pics shark. Lots of proper sarcasm and humor there. :^)
 
When the pace line starts to sag at the 28 mile point outta nowhere comes Sharkey go bring it back to race pace


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i have nothing against the sport, around here tho, the bike riders are assholes...i understand sharing the road but they take it too far, hold everyone up...
hell, when im running slow with one of the trucks and traffic starts building up, i pull the hell over and let folks pass...
 
How would you like your road rage today.......medium rare, raw or just twitching.


th
 
Colar bone in 3....2....1


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Hey Whats is for dinner???............................Patellas


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Ground Control to Becky Sue,..you are clear for lift off. Destination Uranus



Mama Moo adjusting for spin drift

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Pedal hard, but watch out for the attack of brainy varicose veins!


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Lots of cyclists in the Austin area. Luckily not too many around my area here - they know better than to risk seeing if the 1,000,000 various 2500/3500/F-Series trucks would win or not.

Dodge trucks towning a "ghost trailer" with those damn extended mirrors might pose a problem for some.
 
Man like who the fuck goes for a bike ride in their mandex on Christmas Day . I went off one day with the wife on Christmas Day on River Road near New Hope Pa . . Fuzzy underwear wearing , dick suckin , midget puchin , family don't even talk to ya cause ya can't keep the dick out yer face bike ridin , mansy pansy , bitch wheelin homo . The guy actually cried . There's your sign . Now everytime we see a bike rider the wife looks over laughs at me and says fuzzy underwear . I almost left out the fact that Mr. Beef cake was riding three quarter of the way to the yellow line blocking the road and lookin back over his shoulder like fuck off .
 
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Ah...sh*t, my wife just recently talked me into buying a bike in order to ride with her. Do I have to cancel my registration on SH or can I stay if I promise not to ride in the car lane?
 
I don't ride all that often but I have a nice road bike. It does seem that if you make it your "thing" a lot of people turn into a grade-A prissy pricks. Or is it that prissy pricks love bikes?

Last summer I was with the wife and child and I see some guy who looked like he must be the tier-1 power bottom at the local bath house peddling away at about five miles an hour down the middle of the road.

Now a bicyclist would think I'm a jerk because I honked at him as I drove around him.

But here's the thing -- there was a friggin bike lane. He just didn't want to use it.

So so I see him kick it into top gear and chase me to the next light. He comes up to the passenger side and I roll down the window. He starts sputtering spittle as he begins to berate me, across my wife, in between trying to catch his breath.

Says he should call the cops on me because he's legally entitled to use the 30 mph road at 5 mph and doesn't have to pull over to let me by.

There was a bike lane.

I've promised my wife not to get out of the car like I used to, so I pulled out the pepper spray and told him tough shit dick head and drove off. No I didn't spray him but I've heard about these guys kicking or scratching cars and I have an expensive car.

So yes, it's very hard not to despise these entitled snowflake cocksuckers (not that there's anything wrong with that (sigh)).
 
Ah...sh*t, my wife just recently talked me into buying a bike in order to ride with her. Do I have to cancel my registration on SH or can I stay if I promise not to ride in the car lane?

Are you really worried about being seen as a self absorbed douchebag by this collection of self absorbed douchebags?
 
I don't ride all that often but I have a nice road bike. It does seem that if you make it your "thing" a lot of people turn into a grade-A prissy pricks. Or is it that prissy pricks love bikes?

Last summer I was with the wife and child and I see some guy who looked like he must be the tier-1 power bottom at the local bath house peddling away at about five miles an hour down the middle of the road.

Now a bicyclist would think I'm a jerk because I honked at him as I drove around him.

But here's the thing -- there was a friggin bike lane. He just didn't want to use it.

So so I see him kick it into top gear and chase me to the next light. He comes up to the passenger side and I roll down the window. He starts sputtering spittle as he begins to berate me, across my wife, in between trying to catch his breath.

Says he should call the cops on me because he's legally entitled to use the 30 mph road at 5 mph and doesn't have to pull over to let me by.

There was a bike lane.

I've promised my wife not to get out of the car like I used to, so I pulled out the pepper spray and told him tough shit dick head and drove off. No I didn't spray him but I've heard about these guys kicking or scratching cars and I have an expensive car.

So yes, it's very hard not to despise these entitled snowflake cocksuckers (not that there's anything wrong with that (sigh)).

I earned myself a lifetime ban from one of the local cycling FB pages for sorting out some dickwagons like the one that you described above, most get it but the few that don't make a big enough impression to smear us all.
 
I earned myself a lifetime ban from one of the local cycling FB pages for sorting out some dickwagons like the one that you described above, most get it but the few that don't make a big enough impression to smear us all.

Agreed man. Before this happened I was on a bike forum and pointed out their own complaining stories and asked if maybe they weren't their own biggest problem. Instant shit storm of hate. Forums help keep me interested in a hobby. That's probably why I don't ride to often. Who wants to hang out with these people? It must be great if you're like that. But I'm not.

I've also got a couple of motorcycles. I've had no problem with bikers. Completely different mentality with two wheels being the ONLY thing in common.
 
Hey Whats is for dinner???............................Patellas


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Way back when I rode a bike on a regular basis, I had a 10 mile loop I'd do to the river and back. Mostly downhill out and all uphill back. Country road, unmarked pavement, narrow and winding.
Rode by a house that always had a useless fuck sitting on the porch and two useless fuck mongrels that would set out after me like I was a fucking rabbit with a bag of milk bones tied around my neck.
They'd come at me from both sides, nipping and my ankles and yelping like all Hell. Asshole would sit on the porch, sipping his malt liquor and smiling.
I duct taped my holster to the nut bar and slipped my Buckmark in nice and snug one day.
Everything played out as expected, and as I rounded the bend and out of sight of the porch, with the two wolf wannabe's in tow, I checked for traffic and drew.
Pop-pop... and the one on the right tumbled in the ditch like a drunk gymnast. The other one hauled ass for the sanctuary of the porch, and that was where he stayed every ride subsequent.
Useless, he stopped smiling and waved in a friendly manner.
 
Way back when I rode a bike on a regular basis, I had a 10 mile loop I'd do to the river and back. Mostly downhill out and all uphill back. Country road, unmarked pavement, narrow and winding.
Rode by a house that always had a useless fuck sitting on the porch and two useless fuck mongrels that would set out after me like I was a fucking rabbit with a bag of milk bones tied around my neck.
They'd come at me from both sides, nipping and my ankles and yelping like all Hell. Asshole would sit on the porch, sipping his malt liquor and smiling.
I duct taped my holster to the nut bar and slipped my Buckmark in nice and snug one day.
Everything played out as expected, and as I rounded the bend and out of sight of the porch, with the two wolf wannabe's in tow, I checked for traffic and drew.
Pop-pop... and the one on the right tumbled in the ditch like a drunk gymnast. The other one hauled ass for the sanctuary of the porch, and that was where he stayed every ride subsequent.
Useless, he stopped smiling and waved in a friendly manner.

I scared the living shit out of a shop owner that sponsored a local ride by threatening to get a biathlon sling for one of my AR's and ride with the group as dog and dually patrol.
 
Got my Vetta Trainer in the basement. Prolly use that for hip therapy. Play some ACDC Videos and start making circles.
 
Are you really worried about being seen as a self absorbed douchebag by this collection of self absorbed douchebags?

No, I thought that was one of the goals of acceptance here... :)

I do despise the bikers that think they own the road though. I'm in a rural area (no sidewalks here PPB) and I get pissed every time they are riding two or three side by side with a corner ahead, so I have to slow down and wait. They are likely the same ones that sputter about guns and Trump on the net.
 
Stay off the streets, ride one of these: [IMG2=JSON]{"data-align":"none","data-size":"full","src":"https:\/\/budnitzbicycles.com\/assets\/favorite_builds\/ftb\/budnitz-bicycles_fatbike_Snow-Woods-a30b756faa5bd8fde44dd8a3bb52abb4.jpg"}[/IMG2]

Not my pic, but I have a fat bike and its badazz...
 
I find cyclists to be highly entertaining...even distracting at times

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You know it's true - think of a movie set in that time frame and try to recall a bicycle in it!

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