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Maggie’s best bull shizzle someone told you and was serious

He bought a new 7mm Mag. Had the Simmons scope that came with it mounted, and then laser bore sighted. Has hunted for the past 13 years and not gotten a buck. I asked if he has taken the combo to the range to get it on paper? He told me I read into too much bullshit. It is laser sighted, that is all it needs. To prove his point, he was hunting and the hair on his neck stood straight up. He looked across the canyon and a mountaion lion was tracking him from the other side. He had enough of this BS, so he leveled his 7mm Mag on the lions head and shot it. Went into town and told a game warden about the lion. The game warden told him, we don`t like them lions around here. Kill them all.

Now this is in California. I called BS, he said dude, it fuckin happened. I walked away.
 
He'd probably still be in jail if that scenario happened. I think you would get less time if you killed a person her in kalifornia than a mountain lion.
 
This was a while back but I work with a guy that claims to have trained to be a sniper in the marines but I have a hard time believing him. He told me all about his M40A1 that he built, he said he trued the action and put a Krieger barrel on it along with a Jewell trigger. He evidently thought I was an idiot about guns, he brought it to work one day and it was a Remington stamped factory barrel with a muzzle brake dropped in a Bell and Carlson Medalist stock. The so called 1 pound trigger was a factory xmark trigger, the action was rough and he tells me how he lapped the lugs but couldn't get them as smooth as he would like no matter what he tried. He said he even took a dremel to the lugs trying to smooth them up but blames the bolt being rough on the bead blast finish lol. I was getting ready to have a rifle built by RWS and he said why waste your money when I can do all your work for free. I politely told him that I prefer to have it done by a professional and he said I was stupid. I decided to show him I knew what i was talking about so I showed him one of my customs so he could see what a trued action is suppose to feel like.

I asked him to go shooting after hearing all this talk of his "training" and him talking about spin drift and coriallis effect, along with his 1200+ yard shots with that .308 I just mentioned with 168 amax's. I guess he realized I knew more than he thought I did because all of a sudden he sold his Jewell trigger and the Krieger barrel but we still haven't gone shooting. I just don't get why people lie, especially to the point that it's so obvious that even other coworkers that don't shoot can tell he's full of shit.
 
How about bull shizzle we have told? Like:

Of course I love you, and

Just the tip, for a second or two,

And my favorite "I promise I won't do "that" in you."

"No no honey, me and her are just friends."
"I promise I won't show anyone these pictures, I'm just taking them for myself."
"Yes, I've been tested."
 
I've heard a bunch like above but it's pretty darn funny being on the other side of the coin. My son is 14 and is an amazing shot. He's started shooting some 1,000 yard F class matches and when I tell people that he's shot F class at 14 years old and X at 1,000 yards w/ a .308 that give you that look!

Then I dig out the I phone and show them some pics. When he gets a few more years under his belt and can read the wind really well, he will be a serious competitor.

On the other side. between shooting and drag racing, I don't know which is worse.
 
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Sean the Nailer</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: InsidetheStorm</div><div class="ubbcode-body">The only ride I know of with an aluminum body is a Shelby Cobra. DeLorians were stainless, I believe, but thats it, unless someone else knows of one...</div></div>

Lamborghini Countach, I believe. </div></div>

Others would include...

Audi A8
Acura NSX (used to)
Jaguar XJ8
Ferrari 360 Modena
Lotus Elise

and many cars use various body panels made from aluminum such as their hoods or decklids.

Add the beautiful Nash Healy
 
A couple of years ago a guy tried to convince me his 25-06 only dropped 4 inches at 1000 yards not sure what he zeroed at for that but 996 yards don't sound practical
 
A couple of years ago a guy tried to convince me his 25-06 only dropped 4 inches at 1000 yards not sure what he zeroed at for that but 996 yards don't sound practical

It could be my buddy's pal. His .204 Ruger does not drop at all, laser straight for 350 yards....
 
It could be my buddy's pal. His .204 Ruger does not drop at all, laser straight for 350 yards....

You need to tell your buddy's pal that he's either a bold faced lie or he has some magical .204 Ruger rifle. Everyone KNOWS the .204 bullet is still rising at 350, haha
 
I was reading the hide one day, Looking at the optics 4 sale section. And a guy I work with was looking over my shoulder. And questioned the pics I was looking at.

He then proceeded to tell me about his buddy in Texas. Who has a .50 bmg, now here's where it gets interesting. With a self tracking, self ranging and self adjusting scope. I said no he don't. He say's yeah I seen it we were out shooting wild boars at 1500 yards. I said to him alright both you and your friends are liars. He insisted it was true than informed me that this all happened back in the 80's. I said dude I'm going to walk away now so you can think about the line of bullshit you just tried to feed me.
 
this thread is about people who have told you the biggest line of bullshit and were dead serious.

ok, so today i met with a guy who is a contractor new to the community. here is what he had to say when we started talking shooting.


so today, i had a guy tell me that he can shoot 1.5" groups at one mile with 55 grain fmj's. out of a rock river arms ar 15 with a 36" barrel, with a 1 in 17 twist rate. and get this, outside diameter of 2.5". i asked him what the weight was, 14 pounds he says. i even questioned him several times if he meant 1 in 7 or 1 in 9 or even a 1 in 12.

i asked him what he used for powder, he said, the same stuff they use in 50 bmg rounds. because its the fastest hottest burning powder. and that he gets 3875 fps with the 55 grain fmjs. said the casing gets so hot it melts the mouth.


i asked if he had ever heard of p.o.f. he said he had. and he also said rock river ar's were way better.

i asked if he had any other ar rifles. he said he had an m4 rock river. i asked what the barrel twist was on that, he replied a 1 in 5 twist rate.

he then began to tell me that while he was in ranger sniper school, he made his own rifle in 300 w.m. i asked what action, he replies remington. said he wouldnt use the issued "gun". i then asked long or short action, he replies short action to save on weight. hmmm...i thought. what barrel length i asked, 32" was his reply. ooook. twist rate on it was supposedly 1 in 26.

he then told me that the lt. col. on base and him made a bet. he bet the lt. col. that at 2 miles within 2 shots he could make a hit on a 3" target. so, he says that he made the shot. the bet was supposedly to take his wife on a date.

he also told me that while he was at basic training in the army, that after the first week, he was doing so good, they sent him to ranger camp. not ranger school, but ranger camp.

also said that when he was in the army, they had uavs when he was in panama that could look ahead of his sniper team 1,000 yards for him and he would watch on a hand held screen so his sniper team could see what was ahead of them. he also said that a uav could look down at the ground and give him a horizontal view when it was at 4 miles above the earth. now i have never been in the military, or been a sniper, so i will leave that up to those of you who have been to leave some feedback on that one.

share your encounters of the educated peoples!
Was this said at the American Legion, range or gun shop?
 
Back in the 70s, I was on a construction job, where another electrician had a trick light bulb, that had a AA battery and a flashlight bulb, that he was showing the other trades. He would short out the socket contacts with his wedding ring, while sticking a finger in a panel, claiming if you're tough enough, you can light a bulb through your body. A few years later, on another job, I called BS on a carpenter who must have seen the trick. Almost went to hand to hand fighting with him screaming "I was THERE, dammit! I saw him do it!"
PS: a mere 10 watts at 120v will stop your heart--Lights OUT.
 
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I wish I could ask a psychologist what is going on in these peoples minds (not much). Don't they think others can see the BS that they are spewing??. Had a boss once that always had to one up whatever you said... Then got pissed if you challenged it. Turned it into a performance or work related issue.... Piss me off.
 
Mine is the dozen or so idiots in the last 20-25 years that feel compelled to tell me about their time as a UDT/SEAL or Army Special Forces. Its been in various work or social situations. Some I've called BS on and others it was best to let them just be what they thought they were as the more they talked the stupider they sounded even to the uninitiated.
 
Guy walks up, says "If they can't take our weapons, they'll take our ammo!" He was the second to say that in a few minutes, we were in a large ammo store and the ammo and components shelves were bare. But then this second guy, he proceeds to tell me they're gonna evacuate all of Japan due to Fukushima 4 and how it's much worse than they let on (it is, but that's a different story) and how Bilderberg and Illuminati and shit are running the world, how all these conspiracies are tied together, etc. Normal looking 70 year old man. Oh, he had the cure for cancer too, it can be done in just a few days with hemp oil or by changing and raising your pH to an alkaline state.

Geez. He's seriously worried about this when we have real problems nobody talks about. Oh well, I guess there's still magic in the world for folks like this.
 
Kid i went to school with. We were underage drinking at the time (18) at a house party. Kid had 2 beers and was on Queer Street. Needless to say we ended up sleeping at his "friends" house. At some time in the middle of the night this kid wakes up to go to the bathroom. A hour and a half go by and i look at the "friend" and say "dam what is taking him so long". Meanwhile the kid stumbles up the stairs and passes out on the floor. The "friend" goes downstairs and and starts screaming my name. I'm thinking wtf i never met this "friend" before, i was a little shocked. I go downstairs and the "friend" points to the bathroom. Apparently the kid propped himself on the opposite wall of the toilet and took a massive shit on the floor. No toilet paper in the pile and with a foot print in it. We proceeded to find shit prints all the way up the stairs. The "friend" kicks out the kid. While i spend the night at this "friend's" house. Whom I never met before this night

The next morning the kid calls me and says how he had alcohol poisoning and shit his bed and pissed himself when he got home and how his mother had to take him to the hospital to get his stomach pumped.

Couple days later we see the kid at another friends house and proceeds to tell everyone how he got his stomach pumped from the alcohol poisoning. Because you know the doctor had to cut his stomach up with a laser and shove a tube into his stomach to pump it out. We asked to see the scar but he didnt have one. Then tells us cause of the laser there was no scar.

I'm no doctor but i believe they shove a tube down your throat for that. Either way this kid has stuck to his story 12 years later. He is also the biggest liar I've ever met. Never went to a party with this kid again after the incident because he was an embarrassment to bring around.

Became good friends with the "friend" to this day.
 
The 10,000+ SEAL's I've met since May 2011.

There is about 2500 active duty SEAls and I've met all 10,000 of them.
 
Did some locums work in an IHS ER in Eagle Butte SD last year. They had a new hire come while I was there. He was in the national health service core with prior service in the coast guard and signed on for a three year committment at this facility. Before I could meet him several docs told me about how he was in SF, ranger battalion. Within minutes of starting my shift he showed up to introduce himself and almost immediately began with the most outrageous stories. I couldn't hold it back and lit into him with what a Bullshitter he was was after he couldn't answer even basic questions about either. Showed up for my shift the following night and learned he had left the reservation, missed his shift and was in Rapid City asking to be reassigned...........fakesters SUCK the LIFE OUT OF YOU.
 
This isn't really a bs story, but it is funny. A friend and I recently went to a very popular indoor range and gun store in Summerville, SC. My buddy wanted to rent and fire an MP5 (his first full auto experience). The 20 something year old behind the rental counter was decked out in all black 5.11, had a compact 1911 on his right hip and 4 count 'em 4 mags on his left. Tell-tale bulge on his ankle. The guy tried to get my buddy to rent a sten instead of the MP5 because it's "a far better machine gun". Here's the funny part... when the mall ninja tool bag turned around to get our ammo off the shelf, I noticed his 3 matching throwing knives protruding from his rear pocket. I guess he's got all the bases covered.

I know the exact tool you are referring to! I went in to see if they had any creedmoor ammo and if not, if they could order it in, he was the only dueche available. He went on to tell me how the .308 far and above blew the 6.5 out of the water. Then he quoted me at 38 a box for hornady 140 gr amax match...... I won't go back ever again!
 
I have spent the last hour listening to my wife drone on about work and reading this thread, it really is shocking how much shit gets spewed. Here are my favorites, right after SEAL's shot the pirates holding the MERSK captain we were sitting around the firehouse and my captain looks me dead in the face after I say it was a hell of a shot and tells me with his 10/22 he will take a sharpie and draw a line down the target vertically and he will shot 20 shots and not miss that specific line at 100 yards. So I couldn't help it I called bullshit and he says how much you want to bet? At this point I figured he would back down, nope he pushes the issue and says I will bet you 500 dollars I do it tomorrow when we get off shift. Again, I am thinking he is going to back down and just own his bullshit, so I run a crossed the street to the ATM and pull 500 out (my wife damn near beat my ass the next day) and put 500 dollars worth of 20s on the table. Again he keeps pushing and not owning his bullshit and has a none shooter and middle man hold the money and goes and gets his check book and strokes a check for 500 dollars and states we have to go to his house and get his rifle in the morning. So I let it die for the rest of shift and I will be damned if as we are leaving the firehouse he makes sure old boy has the money and that we are going to the range. At this point I was irritated from being up all night running calls and say "Look, I am not going to take you money you are full of shit Capt, but if you insist on keeping this up and dragging me to the range to watch you miss your bullshit line I will take your money." So again no backing down on his part we arrive at the range and he draws his line and walks to the 100 yard line and sets up his target. While he is doing this I pull my spotting scope out of my truck and set up, he gets back to the fire line and shoots 20 times and I can see he hasn't hit the target but maybe 4 or 5 times and again give him a chance to back out and he insists that he hit every single time. At this point I said screw it and just took his money. Five years later he still wants to go double or nothing even after I explained to him it was impossible.
Number 2, I was bullshitting with a buddy and he says "you need to talk to your boy about ammo ("my boy" is an avid hunter and actually a fairly good shot). I say why is that? My buddy goes on to explain that my "boy" thinks that 140 grain amax means amax bullet with 140 grains of powder. I couldn't believe and said bullshit there is no way Dumb Dumb believes that. The next day I ask dumb dumb about ammo and he goes on to give me a class on propellant and how bullets are the same its the powder they are weighing. I explained that the 140 grain meant the weight of the bullet and dumb dumb states your wrong if you look at a 168 and a 175 grain .308 bullet they look exactly the same so they are the same weight and its powder charge weight. I shook my head and went inside and made breakfast.
Gotta love the misinformed.
 
You should have asked the guy about the throwing knives... I can only imagine the story you would have gotten about that. May be he would have told you about the special bandana he wraps around his arm before throwing them when he is going stealth.. The bandana is a suppressor it suppresses the sound his arm makes when he throws because his arm go's supersonic. May be they were made of Damascus unobtanium.
 
This website might be run by gecko45...

Shotgun Scabbard ? Review Soldier Systems | Beez Combat Systems

This shotgun scabbard can be modified. We have added molle for attachment of pouches, cut it down to fit shotguns as short as 10″ barrel and added padded shoulders. The latest and greatest ideas we are working on is an attachment for bolt cutters to the back of the scabbard.

Just image a breacher with a ram, shotgun gun, pry tool and bolt cutters. Basically there is nothing he can’t get through.
 
I was once told by a 13 year old that he had a .243 and that he was able to shoot, with every shot, a small plastic army man at 1500yds at night.
 
I wish I could ask a psychologist what is going on in these peoples minds (not much). Don't they think others can see the BS that they are spewing??. Had a boss once that always had to one up whatever you said... Then got pissed if you challenged it. Turned it into a performance or work related issue.... Piss me off.
I had a boss like that but worse.
 
Spent some time today prowling through pawn shops looking for cool junk. In one the clerk was telling a customer that you could shoot 223 ammo in a 5.56 but not the other way around. So far so good. He then said the reason was the twist rate, AR15's have a 1 in 9 twist and 223's have a 1 in 12 and that was why you couldn't interchange ammo.
 
Had a guy tell me his father was a Marine in WWll. Who was awarded the CMH for his actions in Normandy on D Day.

Had a girl tell me I was her first. Since I knew her history, I figured she meant that day.
 
Had an American sailor on board once while doing a gun shoot off San Clemente Island say America was the best fucking country on the planet. However he said he couldn't wait to get the fuck out of California. Ok maybe not bull sizzle but definitely ironic.
 
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I heard the guy at a gun shop explain to a customer the difference between "caliber" and metric bullets. Told him that a 9mm was the same size as a .45, but neither of them was as big or powerful as a .38 special. His explanation was quite detailed, and the poor elderly gentleman who was the customer must have gone home all kinds of confused.
 
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So I got out of the army in '98 and worked in a hardware store pretty much right off the bat. Now I was a Delta Operator who did SEAL Training, and every odd weekend was a Recon Marine and every even weekend an airforce PJ, but to keep things simple I just lied and told people I was a one term E-4 11C (Mortarman) kept the fans away you know? Anyway I had this guy at work ask me if what he had heard was true that I was in the army, I said yes ( it was pretty obvious, I was less than 6 months out and was still in favor of a sort of relaxed high and tight. He asked me what I did and I gave him my cover story ( for those of you who don't get semi drunken sarcasm I am of course joking) and he says " Yeah, I was in the Army, the special infantry" I was a little taken aback and asked him what the " special infantry" was he tells me " you know rangers and shit ( not know I trained most of Roberts Rangers and ran Col Beckwith through selesction) then procedes to tell me about the time he was on guard and his captain told him to shoot some guy running towards his position..Now let me paint a physical picture for you. I am 5"4" 160lbs at the time all chest and arms this guy has me by two inches and 60 lbs. I offered to race him backwards in the parking lot..too bad he was too busy. I'll never understand why people have to fake. I was a straight leg infantry mortarman who never went to combat and I feel no need to lie about I did since most people don't even have the resolve or gratitude to enter a recruiters office. I spent almost 5 years in Afghanistan working the lowest speed jobs in the world and if I had a nickle for every former "SEAL,Ranger or SF" guy I met I would be a fucking millionaire. Oh my drunken mind just remembered the retired 11C I met working who told us about the time Delta came to his house to recruit him...Anyway, hats off to all who have taken it upon themselves to serve their country in any service in any capacity, God Bless You.
From a semi drunken,proud, leg, non combat 11C from A Co. 2/35 INF 25 INF
 
The Korean ceiling fan story reminds me. I dated a Mexican girl for a while and her family was very well educated. We were talking one day and I was telling them about some first aid training i recently had on how to treat shock. Anyways, I can't exactly remember how it came up, but they told me about how this thing called thermic shock was a big problem in mexico. Basically, it is were your body is either really hot from being outside and you open a refigerator, you could cool off too fast and get thermic shock and die. I LOL'd pretty hard because I thought they were just yanking my chain but they were 100% serious. I later asked a few buddies who spent time in Mexico and they all confirmed that everybody down there believe it. I asked how I could walk from my apartment to the hot tub in the middle of the winter and jump in and not die and they were legitimately concerned for my welfare and said I should never do it again.
 
In November 2012 I started a new job and was introduced to this guy (we call him Smiley) the first day. His first question was if I hunted or not. I answered yes, and was instantly showered with bullshit stories and clams of his abilities. He always has to “one up” everyone and but never has the proof to back up his bullshit.


These are some I can remember offhand…….

He found out I was building a rifle in 260 Remington and had to hunt me down to tell me that it was 270 Remington. He didn’t want me to sound like a “dumb ass” when I told people about a caliber that didn’t exist.

That my 270 Remington was a bad choice, and if I wanted to get to 1000 yards I needed a 308 or 300 ultra mag.

That my McMillan stock was crap and his brother the gunsmith will only build rifles using Houge stocks.

That my suppressor was a waste of money and they actually make the report louder, it just focuses the noise forward so you think it’s quieter.

That he consistently shoots one hole groups at 500 yards with his stock 7mag and factory ammo.
 
Gun shop in Randleman NC, a customer asked if an M-4 lower in the case was aluminum (he didn't want a composite) the guy behind the counter said "no they are steel, aluminum can't stand up to a 5.56".
 
I had a co-worker tell me he just bought a Rem 700 in 308 and at his first range trip he shot a 1" group at 300yds unsupported. I said holy crap really? That's pretty impressive. A different co-worker comes up and tells me he was there but how he measured his groups was he peppered the target and picked three holes closes to each and measured them.

I was at the range this weekend and the guy to my left tells me it's illegal to have a threaded barrel without a tax stamp. I looked at him and said my barrel isn't threaded, it's spiral fluted only at the tip.
 
I had a worker at Gander Mountain tell me that I should really get Hormady XTPs as my self defense round in my 50 AE Desert Eagle and that my choice of round (magnum research JHP) was "OK at best".

"Umm why?" I asked.

"The XTP has better expansion," he replied.

"Because a 1/2" hole at roughly 1500 ft lbs in a guys chest isn't enough already?" I replied.

He had nothing more to say.
 
Just walked out of a gun store down here in Georgia. I walked in looking for a bore guide and the guy asked what I was shooting and I told him it was a 6.5 Creedmoor. He proceeded to tell me that the round was really making a comeback and how he first shot it out of a GAP rifle in the mid '80's. I told him that the round wasn't developed until 2007 and he said that it was custom so they already had them. I thanked him for his help and went home and bought a bore guide online.
 
Was at my local Sportsman’s Warehouse standing at the gun counter waiting to get a price on a Tikka. It was really busy so I stood there trying to read the calibers on the tags while waiting for someone to help me. To my right was a fat slob of a redneck doing his best to look like a bad ass while stroking an AR like it was his uncles cock. One of my favorite things to do is people watch, so this clown had my full attention.

This is how the conversation went........

Redneck..........."This shit is bad ass, what does it shoot...233's?"

Counter kid........"It shoots 223's.....and yeah it's bad ass!"

Redneck........."Is this thing like full auto?"

Counter kid......"No, semi auto."

Redneck......"Well fuck this, where are the full autos?"

Counter kid......."We don't sell those."

Redneck........"Why?"

Counter kid........"You need to have a class 3 license and no one can get those."

Redneck......."Like a military license?"

Counter kid......."Exactly."

Redneck......"Shit, I will just have one of my sniper buddies buy me one then."

Counter kid......."Hell yeah!"

The moron finally relinquished the rifle and went on his way. When the kid behind the counter asked if he could help me I told him I would wait for someone else.
 
So I took a Thursday and Friday off work and went to the range to do some load development. I ended up finding a great load and really got my rifled dialed in. On Friday, before leaving, I shot the 3" gong at 500 meters, which I repainted earlier in the day, and hit it 3 times. Upon walking out to collect my targets, I saw the 3 marks on the small gong, they were very clear against the fresh paint.

The next day, Saturday, I went back to the same range and started talking to a loud mouth guy that is out there often. I asked him how he was shooting and he responded, "I'm shooting awesome, I can't miss the steel at 500."

I then asked him if he had been able to hit the 3" gong. To which he responded, "yeah, I've been hitting it all day."

So, I walked out to the 500 line with this guy who went on to brag about the tight 3 shot group on the gong. The amazing part, his group was identical in every way to the group I shot about 15 hours earlier. I didn't call him out, but I sure wanted to.

A year or so earlier, I overheard this same guy take credit for a group I shot on a large steel silhouette target.

Some People!!
 
I don't understand these ppl who are motivated to make up these totally bogus stories about themselves. but I do know they exist.

While in college, I had a summer job in a warehouse moving and loading water heaters. This one guy had been there forever driving a forklift. He had a new tall tale for every day of the work week. One day, I said something about some show I watched on TV, or me getting a new TV. He says, "I have two TVS." --himself, hearing how unimpressive that was, adds..." in the same room. In my living room."

So, I ask - why do you have two TVs in the same room?

He says, "In case I get tired of looking one way, I can just look the other way."

--That was like the dumbest thing I had ever heard. I guess I had caught him so off-guard, he did not say a reasonable answer, like "to watch two different shows at once."

That was 30 years ago. I wish I could remember every ridiculous thing that dude told me. My dad knew this work place, and this guy, and I would go home each day and report the latest - plenty of laughs.
 
short swimmer-

I was in grad school abt 15 years ago with a young woman among my fellow students. All of us would chat about our undergrad degrees, and she talked about how she had gotten through undergrad on a swimming scholarship.

I called BS: this woman is short, and, well, um, endowed. Short and endowed are not helpful factors in competitive swimming. There is a certain swimmer physique.

She acknowledged this, and said back in the high school days, she was something of a spectacle - in high school regional competitions, ppl would want to see the short, busty fast swimmer because it was so unusual.

She said she still held some high school record in her home state. I searched the web a bit and - sure enough - found her listed as holding some high school "AAU" state regional swim record.