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she pulled out a huge strapon
she pulled out a huge strapon
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...and lubed it up with bacon grease..
...and lubed it up with bacon grease..
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.... that they can't believe bacon tastes just like...
.... that they can't believe bacon tastes just like...
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when your friend eats out a rotten 60 year old 360lb males ass bcause you dared him to while you both were heavily under the influence of.....
when your friend eats out a rotten 60 year old 360lb males ass bcause you dared him to while you both were heavily under the influence of.....
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a heavy mix of Mountain Dew and Soju..
a heavy mix of Mountain Dew and Soju..
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....which is what I was drinking the night Shankster insisted he would fix me up with a real beauty. The next morning I woke up......
....which is what I was drinking the night Shankster insisted he would fix me up with a real beauty. The next morning I woke up......
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and remembered something from the night before about peanut butter, handcuffs and jumper cables.....
and remembered something from the night before about peanut butter, handcuffs and jumper cables.....
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...I had three broken ribs, hickeys all over my neck and blood in my stool, I tried to put myself together the tv alerted me to...
...I had three broken ribs, hickeys all over my neck and blood in my stool, I tried to put myself together the tv alerted me to...
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the fact that I was lying beside a dead Chupacbra, an unconscious Mary covered in vomit, and little Red was nowhere to be seen, so I...
the fact that I was lying beside a dead Chupacbra, an unconscious Mary covered in vomit, and little Red was nowhere to be seen, so I...
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said fuck it and decided to go to church and confess all my sins, including the hiding spot of Bin Laden. But on my way to confession some Navy Seals came along and....
said fuck it and decided to go to church and confess all my sins, including the hiding spot of Bin Laden. But on my way to confession some Navy Seals came along and....
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... jumped out of their stealth blackhawk wearing pointy boots recently developed in Mexico...
... jumped out of their stealth blackhawk wearing pointy boots recently developed in Mexico...
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which caused them to poke their own eyes out while trying to run uphill...
which caused them to poke their own eyes out while trying to run uphill...
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.. and as they fell to the ground, a 6 year old bystander shook his head as he says "PUSSIES!" to which his mother ran up to him and said..
.. and as they fell to the ground, a 6 year old bystander shook his head as he says "PUSSIES!" to which his mother ran up to him and said..
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Pussies? where did you hear such a word? Its called a Vajayjay
Pussies? where did you hear such a word? Its called a Vajayjay
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So the little boy told his mommy"Look Bitch, I Scored some American porn it's a pussy, and I want my 72 virgins before I die." so his mother.......
So the little boy told his mommy"Look Bitch, I Scored some American porn it's a pussy, and I want my 72 virgins before I die." so his mother.......
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beat the crap out of him for his insolence, and told him that if he wanted to meet his 72 virgins, she would be happy to...
beat the crap out of him for his insolence, and told him that if he wanted to meet his 72 virgins, she would be happy to...
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Baseball bats and one mma boxing glove. The glove was to keep him from breaking his knuckles while viciously handing out king size donkey punches and the lubed bats...
Baseball bats and one mma boxing glove. The glove was to keep him from breaking his knuckles while viciously handing out king size donkey punches and the lubed bats...
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but not all was as it seems. Little did he know the weightlifting team held the world record for mall ninja kung fu, and mommy dearest was trying to set him up for the worst ass whippin since david and goliath. Just before he heads out with his baseball bats, the phone rings...
but not all was as it seems. Little did he know the weightlifting team held the world record for mall ninja kung fu, and mommy dearest was trying to set him up for the worst ass whippin since david and goliath. Just before he heads out with his baseball bats, the phone rings...
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and he answers it and finds that it is his insurance agent calling to cancel his health insurance policy and recommend a large tube of Preparation H...
and he answers it and finds that it is his insurance agent calling to cancel his health insurance policy and recommend a large tube of Preparation H...
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a bloody stuffed penguin. he tries to get up, but finds out real quick that he has blood all over his pants and a torn....
a bloody stuffed penguin. he tries to get up, but finds out real quick that he has blood all over his pants and a torn....
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copy ot the Koran! Which infuriates all the ragheads in the room.
He them beats a hasty retreat.........
copy ot the Koran! Which infuriates all the ragheads in the room.
He them beats a hasty retreat.........
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and runs outside, straight into the claws of a waiting group of 7 Chupacabras...
and runs outside, straight into the claws of a waiting group of 7 Chupacabras...
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... all the brothers of the one he defiled the rectum of the evening before, as they started to close in around him a shot rang out...
... all the brothers of the one he defiled the rectum of the evening before, as they started to close in around him a shot rang out...
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..the bullet missed him but hit ex-crongressman Weiner in his weener. He thinks to himself "Better him than me", then flashes back to the dutch rudder he got back on page 23. Then in a moment of sheer panic he grabbed his..............
..the bullet missed him but hit ex-crongressman Weiner in his weener. He thinks to himself "Better him than me", then flashes back to the dutch rudder he got back on page 23. Then in a moment of sheer panic he grabbed his..............
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anal beads from his back pocket and began to stuff them up his own ass right there on the steps to the....
anal beads from his back pocket and began to stuff them up his own ass right there on the steps to the....
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house he had just retreated from, only to find his mother waiting for him with...
house he had just retreated from, only to find his mother waiting for him with...
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a pop tart, a moon pie, and a six pack of PBR. He made quick work of the beer and goodies which dulled the senses enough to pull the rip cord on those beads he had forgotten about for a moment. Having experienced what must have been the sensation of a covey of quail flushing from the cover of his now thoroughly violated nether orifice, he passed out. Waves of darkness washed over him like maple syrup washing over the buttery flesh of.....
a pop tart, a moon pie, and a six pack of PBR. He made quick work of the beer and goodies which dulled the senses enough to pull the rip cord on those beads he had forgotten about for a moment. Having experienced what must have been the sensation of a covey of quail flushing from the cover of his now thoroughly violated nether orifice, he passed out. Waves of darkness washed over him like maple syrup washing over the buttery flesh of.....
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... a team of midget mud wrestlers. He awoke in a jail cell wearing nothing but one boot, a neck tie, and a new tatoo of Geraldo Rivera on his left inner thigh. He said to himself, "I have to lay off the Moon Pies." Now if I only had a..........
... a team of midget mud wrestlers. He awoke in a jail cell wearing nothing but one boot, a neck tie, and a new tatoo of Geraldo Rivera on his left inner thigh. He said to himself, "I have to lay off the Moon Pies." Now if I only had a..........
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couple of pounds of C4, I could...
couple of pounds of C4, I could...
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unclog the toilet at Shank's girls friend's house, but for now I am still stuck in jail and the other inmates are starting to stare at my new tatoo.
The next day Colonel Troutman showed up and asked me to accept a secret mission in exchange for my freedom. All I have to do is..........
unclog the toilet at Shank's girls friend's house, but for now I am still stuck in jail and the other inmates are starting to stare at my new tatoo.
The next day Colonel Troutman showed up and asked me to accept a secret mission in exchange for my freedom. All I have to do is..........
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spend one whole night with all of shank's "girls," which take up an entire hanger, doing whatever they want....
spend one whole night with all of shank's "girls," which take up an entire hanger, doing whatever they want....
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... so naturally I reacted to his request by issuing a swift kick to the groin, walking away I heard a faint sound in the distance...
... so naturally I reacted to his request by issuing a swift kick to the groin, walking away I heard a faint sound in the distance...
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...as it grew closer I could distinguish it as hoof beats, soon I could see that it was a group of 666 beautiful naked Amazon women riding bareback towards me. They were of the mountain clan Wewannafuckyu. Their leader sporting a 38 DD rack swept me up on her steed and.....
...as it grew closer I could distinguish it as hoof beats, soon I could see that it was a group of 666 beautiful naked Amazon women riding bareback towards me. They were of the mountain clan Wewannafuckyu. Their leader sporting a 38 DD rack swept me up on her steed and.....
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I suddenly woke up from my dream and realized I was naked, and all four limbs were ties to bed posts as the retarded girl we made fun of in high school was walking circles around the bed saying "Whos shitting themselves today?" Something shiny catches her attention, and while she busy with that, you try to....
I suddenly woke up from my dream and realized I was naked, and all four limbs were ties to bed posts as the retarded girl we made fun of in high school was walking circles around the bed saying "Whos shitting themselves today?" Something shiny catches her attention, and while she busy with that, you try to....
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.. cut one of the ropes with my secrect decoder ring. She walks over and opens the door to let in Rosie O'Donnell, Barbara Streisand, Jane Fonda, and the entire cast of The Wizard of Oz, all of whom are dressed in leather. As I look at them I can't help but notice how much Rosie looks like my Lazy Boy recliner. Suddenly there was a blinding flash of light......
.. cut one of the ropes with my secrect decoder ring. She walks over and opens the door to let in Rosie O'Donnell, Barbara Streisand, Jane Fonda, and the entire cast of The Wizard of Oz, all of whom are dressed in leather. As I look at them I can't help but notice how much Rosie looks like my Lazy Boy recliner. Suddenly there was a blinding flash of light......
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O'Donnell, Streisand and Fonda were now on the ground with their heads firmly implanted in each others asses, forming a sot of douche bag doughnut. The retarded girl from high school did in deed shit herself as the tin man turned to the scarecrow and said......
O'Donnell, Streisand and Fonda were now on the ground with their heads firmly implanted in each others asses, forming a sot of douche bag doughnut. The retarded girl from high school did in deed shit herself as the tin man turned to the scarecrow and said......
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"I don't need a brain to know that this situation sucks, so let's..."
"I don't need a brain to know that this situation sucks, so let's..."
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and then maybe we can drink some Spin D and go home, but first...
and then maybe we can drink some Spin D and go home, but first...
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...the 666 members of the Wewannafuckyu Amazon clan. This is not a dream! They're real! Now, I....
...the 666 members of the Wewannafuckyu Amazon clan. This is not a dream! They're real! Now, I....
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fuckfest extravaganza! Unbeknownst to me however, the Amazons were in fact zebra riding transexuals. As they approached (dressed in their RuPaul originals) it became readily apparent that this was definitely not going to work for me so I immediately.........
fuckfest extravaganza! Unbeknownst to me however, the Amazons were in fact zebra riding transexuals. As they approached (dressed in their RuPaul originals) it became readily apparent that this was definitely not going to work for me so I immediately.........
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....drove to Chuck Norris' house to ask him for advice. He advised me not to worry about the transexuals riding zebras as they only attack AR15.com members. I was relieved, but still felt the need to drive down to the local gun shop to get a case of.............
....drove to Chuck Norris' house to ask him for advice. He advised me not to worry about the transexuals riding zebras as they only attack AR15.com members. I was relieved, but still felt the need to drive down to the local gun shop to get a case of.............
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...Spin D, so that I could be sure to hit all 666 of them, just for shits and grins. Afterward, I go and find the clan members of Wewannafuckyu, and...
...Spin D, so that I could be sure to hit all 666 of them, just for shits and grins. Afterward, I go and find the clan members of Wewannafuckyu, and...
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....singlehandedly capture off all 666 of them. I take my pick of the 10 best looking ones to sample for myself, after which I offered them up for free in the "Pay it forward" thread. The other 656 of them I put up for sale in the Group Buy section for a mere $1000 each, or trade for a Model 700 short action and a buggy whip so's I can......
....singlehandedly capture off all 666 of them. I take my pick of the 10 best looking ones to sample for myself, after which I offered them up for free in the "Pay it forward" thread. The other 656 of them I put up for sale in the Group Buy section for a mere $1000 each, or trade for a Model 700 short action and a buggy whip so's I can......
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...go and get them all back and f_ck them all, as much and as many times as I want. Lowlight demands 5 of them for allowing the group buy, and is not seen again for weeks. He then reappears, having spent himself so thoroughly that he can't even walk under his own power...
...go and get them all back and f_ck them all, as much and as many times as I want. Lowlight demands 5 of them for allowing the group buy, and is not seen again for weeks. He then reappears, having spent himself so thoroughly that he can't even walk under his own power...
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