I have many stories about dumb shit during my time as a Squad Leader, but this one is by far my favorite
While in the 82nd Airborne during EIB training a specialist lost his PEQ-15 out in Area J. So anyways this occurred on the eve of a four day weekend. CSM made it clear “I don’t give a fuck about your four day and I don’t give a fuck about your wives, I already talked to IG so let them call!” In other words if we don’t find the PEQ-15 our four day isn’t happening. This began on a Wednesday. We comb the Area J miserably searching for this item no luck finding it that day so we are shipped back to the Company CP.
After sleeping on the floor at the company as well as the rest of the battalion because obviously at this point we are in lockdown we wake up the next morning to begin the search again. When I say ever single motherfucker in the battalion was out here I literally mean everyone the only individuals who were not on line searching were the CSM and the BC and they were walking directly behind us like they had a cattle prod.
After searching for hours the CSM loses his fucking mind and calls in all the NCOs and the BC calls in all the officers and they rip into us. No luck. CSM says “Every mother fucking E4 and below is gonna get on line and hold fucking hands and walk this area till we find the God damn PEQ”. So that’s exactly what we did leaders walked in a line behind the soldiers to ensure they were actually looking. Majors, Captains, 1SGs literally everyone is looking for this damn thing.
Just before sundown when the search for the day would be ending and our four day walking the line with almost 1,000 troopers on line an eruption of screams reminiscent of the scene from Braveheart overtake the woods yelling and screaming and it gets louder and louder one of troopers next to me yells “he fucking found it!!”.
Our four day was saved. How the kid found it nobody knows he picked it up out of the bottom of a draw in a puddle of mud. Miserable two days but we found the damn thing. It was that day that I realized sometimes dumb shit works ??.
Below is the proof
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