Replies to "Thank you for your service."

[Graham]

Someone said it to me the other day, and my newest reply slipped-out without even thinking. I said:

"No, thank YOU for breathing air."

I guess I am getting sick of yet another cliche that we've adopted to make our collective selves feel better, the modern equivalent of "Have a nice day" with about as much real meaning attached.

... Just sayin' that if you're not a Vietnam vet the phrase is probably getting a bit old.

I suggest that we manufacture a new saying, for use when military or government service comes up in conversation. Something like: "Welcome back to reality."

 

[Lowlight]

Usually it sounds like they say it because they feel they have to, not that they mean it. It's not only begrudgingly said, it's disingenuous at best. Like saying no offense before slinging an offense.

I have replied, "I didn't do it for you" but 99% of the time the voice inside my head replies, asshole. It's during those that I don't say anything in reply out loud, I fast forward past it as if it wasn't said.

There are a few who truly mean it and you can tell the difference.

 

[Graham]

Replies to "Thank you for your service."

There are a few who truly mean it and you can tell the difference.

Fair enough.

Although sometimes it makes me feel like I just asked them for money. Maybe next time I should reply "So, how much is it worth to you?"?

I was at Starbucks the other day, and the guy in front of me in line thanked for his service the soldier who was buying a coffee. I cut in front, gave the barrista my card and said to the man "The least I can do is pay for the Sergeant's coffee." As it turns out, that's a pretty good antidote to the cliche.

 

[Darkside-Six]

You both hit it right on the nail right on the head. It gets to the point where I actually get an awkward feeling when somebody says "thank you for your service" to me because you know they feel obligated to say it when they find out.

Everytime It is said to me it makes me feel sorry for my father and what that generation went through after returning from 'Nam. People didn't act the way they do now towards soldiers.

 

[Graham]

Replies to "Thank you for your service."

From last week, my reply:

"Don't bother, I would have ended up a worse soldier than what I became instead."

 

[Spicerack]

Another good I have heard and used is "If you really want to thanks us, go (do something that Americans can do because of it)". Insert: vote, buy a firearm, write an op-ed for the paper or periodical, go exercise a right you have as an American.

Semper Fidelis,
Aaron

 

[DocUSMCRetired]

what about when a kid says it?

 

[Delta4-3]

I just don't tell them I am a vet.

 

[Edsel]

You find the greeting offensive?

 

[Darkside-Six]

what about when a kid says it?

Then you know they've been raised right.

 

[BoilerUP]

First world problems: "I've grown weary of your platitudes."

 

[sinister]

Being a retired Soldier when they say it I just respond, "Thanks for paying me."

 

[DocUSMCRetired]

Then you know they've been raised right.

Rare thing these days.

 

[SPEAK338]

Can't please everybody

 

[sidewaysil80]

You find the greeting offensive?

No, its just that the majority of the time someone says it to me you can clearly tell they are just blurting it out because society says they have to.

Occasionally someone says it genuinely or you can tell they truly support the military to which I reply "Well we thank you for your support."

 

[Wes_Mantooth]

Most of the people I meet in the "real world" don't know I was in the military so I don't hear "thanks for your service" very often. And that is just fine with me. I don't want any thanks from anyone and I don't say it to other mil. or ex. mil. because I assume most feel the same way as I do.

 

[MarkCO]

So do most of you really see it is just a job that requires no thanks? Or is it that you perceive most as just saying it and not really meaning it? Honest questions.

I have said something similar to several at times. When I have a 27 year old marine sitting across the table from me who has been blown up, had to stop a few times a day to drain the sweat out of his boots, and has a bullet hole through his calf, how can I not be thankful?

Was at a restaurant, several reserves were eating, they looked tired and dirty...they had been doing rescue and road work after the floods...how can I not be thankful?

Had to take a ride to the ER last year, I thanked the paramedics for their service as well. Sure, I pay them through taxes, but I am still thankful for the service they provided.

 

[Gunga]

I don't advertise my prior service but people I work with know I am prior military and say thanks. Usually around Memorial Day and Veterans Day. I give them the benefit of the doubt that they are sincere and accept their thanks.
I usually say " No problem, I enjoyed my time in."

 

[Badger300wm]

The definition of gratitude in the expanded dictionary defines its synonyms as acknowledgement, appreciativeness, grace, praise, recognition, obligation, honor, response, sence of obligation, thanks and thankfullness, among others but these seem to be the mose relevent to the conversation. When someone no matter who it is says thanks for anything they are acknowledging that you made a special effort or sacrifice to achieve something. If you want to brush asside their recognition thats up to you but I feel sorry and disappointed for the state of mind you must have to do so. Sarcasm or indignity is another issue, but take their thanks and handshake or whatever is offered and be gratefull someone cares to give a shit enough to acknowledge what you did.

 

[Gunfighter14e2]

There are a few who truly mean it and you can tell the difference.

Yes you can, but my answer to some have been. Knowing what I know now, I wish I had never even thought about holding my hand up, let alone do it! Because the group I hate the most in the USA are the, System Gamers. They are but Leaches and Remoras.

 

[siscoe308]

Let me get this straight, we are now complaining when someone thanks us for voluntarily serving the nation? Total bullshit...How about replying with some class and tact, how about about representing your branch of service with honor? A simple response of "Thank you" would cover it. We all know that you are a badass, but how about we learn to interact socially and accept gratitude. sorry for the rant but this kinda thing gets under my skin....ok blood pressure normalizing

 

[TNT]

Whether they mean it or not makes no difference to me. I reply with, "It's an honor," because it is, and usually, "Thank you for yours." The guy could be a CEO, a janitor, a doughnut maker, a beautician, a banker, or whatever else. I'm thankful for everyone who is working and contributing. If someone thanks me, I think I ought to thank them right back. If they are disingenuous or not saying it meaningfully, sometimes my response will give them pause, and I like to think they might go think on it a bit. It's kind of a hidden question, "what are you doing to serve your fellow man?"

Part of my appreciation may be because my service has been relatively insignificant, comfy, and without much, if any, sacrifice. But people saying it to me doesn't make me happy or sad. I just see it as a reminder that I daily need to rededicate myself to actually serving. When I get lazy and don't put in an honest day's work, when I could do more, I know that I need the reminders, and I appreciate them.

 

[siscoe308]

Ok I'm not done! Our boys in Vietnam came back and were shunned, spit on and called murders. You have a fucking set of stones to be complaining about being thanked for serving or question the person thanking you. I'd say most ppl (myself included) say thank you to acknowledge the sacrifice of a collective group in the conflict that the vet was involved in. To response with sarcasm or rudeness (lets call it what it is) doesn't make you witty, it doesn't make you cool. It does a disservice to those who didn't get to come back, a disservice to those old vets who were spit on, a disservice to your branch. How you bow your head and accepting the thanks and remember those you know who deserve the thanks, if you feel that you are undeserving. I couldn't believe my eyes when I read this topic and some of the people I respect responding with complete nonsense. Im gonna shut up now....

 

[Spicerack]

I believe the case is that we hear it so much that the gratitude can SEEM to be insincere, especially in the case of vets that have had experiences that lead them into a mindset of not having faith in humanity. The area where I live is very vet friendly and it is a community pride that is prevalent and taught widely to children as well. I feel lucky to be here to carry it on and teach the junior Marines in my unit how to respond to these thanks in order to not disuade anyone from carrying on this tradition despite what their personal feelings may be. Most 'get it', some don't but might given some time for personal growth. Without the support of the civilians in the community, the service we provide would be significantly more arduous. Sarcastic and disingenuous replies to these thanks do nothing to help future generations. I can only hope that most embrace the rights and freedoms that have come through the sacrifices of the few and truly understand what is at stake.

 

[Lowlight]

It would be different if we were in uniform, in that context you have to respond respectfully, however, as been noted, it's something that people don't use as a greeting with us, but as an after thought, like, "Oh I better say this..."

If a person changes it even slightly, it's much more sincere and respectful, Oh, hey, I appreciate your service. It's really about context.

Hell at SHOT one night at one of the bars a women pulled me to the side and asked me about people saying it, specifically addressing this question. She had heard it over and over and to her, a civilian through and through she felt it was disingenuous so she posed the question. I told her straight up my feelings about it and she completely got it because from her view point it read the same way.

Not answering, or thinking negatively about it, is what it is, you can fein offense, but really I take it the same way when it comes off to my ears as insincere. As Graham noted, you're better off buying that uniformed person a coffee and saying, "the coffee is my simple thanks for your service" it shows action and sincerity. More than once here in CO I have had my coffee paid for and I use the Drive thru, but I have USMC Plates on the car. I would pull up and the server would my coffee was covered by the car in front.

Context matters, and you can certainly tell the sincerity of the person you are speaking too... do they say it because they feel obligated or do they actually mean it

 

[LongArm]

Disgusting topic. There are many people who have died and are not with us to receive the thanks that you are irritated by. Just remember it could be much worse, just ask a Vietnam Veteran.

 

[siscoe308]

Lowlight, I reject that. Respect those have sacrificed. Fair warning, if I see you wearing a veteran hat or having vet plates, I'm going to thank you.

 

[Badger300wm]

It would be different if we were in uniform, in that context you have to respond respectfully, however, as been noted, it's something that people don't use as a greeting with us, but as an after thought, like, "Oh I better say this..."

If a person changes it even slightly, it's much more sincere and respectful, Oh, hey, I appreciate your service. It's really about context.

Hell at SHOT one night at one of the bars a women pulled me to the side and asked me about people saying it, specifically addressing this question. She had heard it over and over and to her, a civilian through and through she felt it was disingenuous so she posed the question. I told her straight up my feelings about it and she completely got it because from her view point it read the same way.

Not answering, or thinking negatively about it, is what it is, you can fein offense, but really I take it the same way when it comes off to my ears as insincere. As Graham noted, you're better off buying that uniformed person a coffee and saying, "the coffee is my simple thanks for your service" it shows action and sincerity. More than once here in CO I have had my coffee paid for and I use the Drive thru, but I have USMC Plates on the car. I would pull up and the server would my coffee was covered by the car in front.

Context matters, and you can certainly tell the sincerity of the person you are speaking too... do they say it because they feel obligated or do they actually mean it

"You can really show me your thanks by buying me something, because stuff matters more than words. Thats what I just got out of that.

 

[Lowlight]

Ya, cause that $2 coffee is really digging deep when you consider the actual cost of their sacrifice... instead that insincere thank you makes up for it.

But to each their own, hell I have bought people's food and coffees and I consider us equal on this matter.

 

[siscoe308]

Oh Lowlight....um....thanks for your service! ?

 

[Badger300wm]

I have and will continue to buy meals for folks I see in uniform, I dont drink coffee so the likelyhood I am in the position to do so is slim. It's not the monetary "imposition" which you seem to imply I am talking about, it is the crass way in which you imply that words in themselves dont hold enough meaning to you to be enough. If you are not grateful for the recognition themn maybe the recognition will stop, negative actions are countered.

 

[EventHorizon]

As a civilian I've never felt this supposed pressure. I don't say it in passing but I do if I'm engaged in conversation.

I'm at a loss however on why you would declare your service via the plates if acknowledgement of it is irritating. I see far more car badges, stickers, hats etc declaring service than there used to be. To me that shows pride of service and an openness to being acknowledged.

People follow norms. The norm has become to say that phrase. Doing so does not in anyway mean a default position of insincerity.

 

[Guest]

I rarely say it. I sometimes do anonymously pay for meals or send a round of drinks.
I wouldn't judge too harshly those who do say it, however. They're trying to acknowledge that they recognize on some level that you are making a contribution to their lives.

 

[Lowlight]

You're reading comprehension is clearly limited in this case.

I have said many times,

1. Context matters
2. The sincerity can be detected
3. A simple change to the phrase matters, instead of, repeating what you believe you are expected to say

These encounters generally happen in public, and usually in places where you get food and drink, although a lot of times in airports. So how you present yourself makes a difference.

As I have noted, a lot of times it comes off disingenuous, if YOU as the thanking party present an insincere gesture that is how it is taken. There are ways to show sincerity and there is people who just repeat what they believe they are expected to say. One example is watching liberal news pundits argue with servicemen and at the end will say, Oh by the way, Thank you for your service" comes off the same way. Don't like you, but I am supposed to say this.

My response is these cases is to say, "Nothing" ... in cases were I believe the sincerity I respond in kind, unfortunately, and this is YOUR fault, 99% of the time I feel they are insincere.

 

[Graham]

Replies to "Thank you for your service."

Let me get this straight, we are now complaining when someone thanks us for voluntarily serving the nation?

Nope. That's not what we're complaining about. That would be you changing the subject.

And no one is irritated by the fact of any genuine thanks. That's putting words in our mouths.

Reading comprehension, people.... Is that also too much to ask?!

 

[Maggot]

I think a lot of the insincerity comes from people who want to feel a connection with something they didn't participate in. Ive only done it once. Saw a guy in the grocery store with both legs off at the knees, and a marine tattoo . I just reached out and shook his hand and said thanks. He was really appreciative. Afterwards I felt kind of shitty cause I thought "Wow, I could have paid for his groceries." Then he and his wife came out and got into a new BMW. I felt a bit better, LOL.

 

[Lowlight]

Looking you in the eye and shaking your hand, shows a level of sincerity I would respond too... to me that is changing the phrase.

I have far more respect for someone who stands front and center, shakes your hand and says, Thanks, than someone who walks by and says, Thank you for your service. (which has happened and I have seen far too often, especially in airports)

 

[Badger300wm]

Baseless retorts towards ones opinion and ability to comprehend words aside, I guess you should question their sincerity in such cases, ask why they are thanking you for example.

Matthew 6:1-4 What we do, must be done from inward principle, that we may be approved of God, not that we may be praised of men.

 

[Graham]

Replies to "Thank you for your service."

When the waitress stops by to top-up my cup of coffee I always thank her for her service. On occasion I find out that she used to be in the Air Force.

Because I never thank vets by using that phrase. When I meet one we either talk briefly as human beings, or we don't.

 

[siscoe308]

I have reread....you are complaining/ being rude

 

[Lowlight]

I do the same, I really appreciate an attentive waitress and generally over tip.

just the other day, the girl at the Thai Place remembered I didn't eat my celery and brought my order with no celery. I thanked her both verbally, and in the form of my tip. Now she might have served in the Chinese Army, and may still be a member of Chinese intelligence, but he attention to detail was noted by me on several levels. And for me the key was, not to just thank her in passing but to hold a real conversation with her. While a simple "thank you" would have worked, I felt it more meaningful we visit with each other.

I also talk with my UPS lady, know her first name and wave to her when I see her about town. If I caught her pulling up, I walk out to the truck and talk to her, and then carry my box to the door.

In my mind this shows appreciation for their work. Sure, thanks would suffice, but not for me.

 

[siscoe308]

YOU DONT LIKE CELERY??!!
Lol all kidding aside, I understand what you are trying to spin but I'm saying responding to someone's thanks for your service with "thanks for breathing" is rude and a disservice to the uniform you wore, and thus a disservice to ALL those who wear/ wore it. I don't claim to know or understand the intent of someone else's words. I don't know you or your background but I have no reason to assume any gratitude is insincere.

 

[DocUSMCRetired]

Ive never been one to fail to appreciate all the thank you boobs that came with the job.

 

[Darkside-Six]

I think a lot of people here are misinterprating the context. When someone says "thank you for your service" to me I always say "thank you" no matter what. it shows respect. What is annoying to me is when I get the feeling that they are just saying it out of obligation. For example I went to pay for my order at a deli the other day and when I handed the young lady my debit card she looked at it and commented about the pretty picture on it. She then read where it said "military Banking" on the top of the card and she commented out load "military banking......oh.........thank you for serving" I smiled and said "thank you" but her saying what she said to mee did not feel genuine, it felt obligated.

in the end, it's the thought that counts i guess. It just means a whole lot more when that thought is truley genuine.

 

[Lowlight]

I like how it is our fault for detecting the clear insincerity of the gesture ...

what I read is, "shut up and swallow our disingenuous gesture and be thankful in return you're getting it at all"

 

[Badger300wm]

YOU DONT LIKE CELERY??!!
Lol all kidding aside, I understand what you are trying to spin but I'm saying responding to someone's thanks for your service with "thanks for breathing" is rude and a disservice to the uniform you wore, and thus a disservice to ALL those who wear/ wore it. I don't claim to know or understand the intent of someone else's words. I don't know you or your background but I have no reason to assume any gratitude is insincere.

Thank you for saying what I meant in a more concise manner than I could come up with. Hopefully my reading comprehension was enough to get your meaning from it.

 

[Graham]

Replies to "Thank you for your service."

I understand what you are trying to spin but I'm saying responding to someone's thanks for your service with "thanks for breathing" is rude and a disservice to the uniform you wore, and thus a disservice to ALL those who wear/ wore it.

I love absolutism: It's a substitute for thinking.

Context matters. As does tone. Humor helps, too. And don't worry, your precious uniform is unsullied.... as my experience differs from yours.

 

[Bolt_Overide]

I just don't tell them I am a vet.

this

 

[canezach]

When the waitress stops by to top-up my cup of coffee I always thank her for her service. On occasion I find out that she used to be in the Air Force.

Because I never thank vets by using that phrase. When I meet one we either talk briefly as human beings, or we don't.

This last part is big for me. Another vet and I can talk for hours, but it's not like we thank each other for serving in the military. I stay in touch with a few of my old squadmates and while I may say it was an honor to serve with them, I've never thanked them.

 

[siscoe308]

I have been accused of being both absolute and overly protective of the honor i place on our military. When I speak of the uniform and its value to me, I'm speaking of the thousands who have died to protect the things i hold dear. Your remarks expose a deep seated difference if our values.