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Replies to "Thank you for your service."

My wife likes to bring me to social gatherings of people she's very obscurely related to, first thing about me to come up seems to always be me being in the military. My Response to non-vets is a handshake, a smile and "thank you". When vets say it, you can tell they actually mean it, they've been there. After I shake every god damn person in the houses hand, I find a vet to go get hammered and shoot the shit with.
 
I Joined because it was a family thing. The way I was raised. Every male back to my great grandfather had served. I believed that every male in the country should be required to serve . A mandatory two years. Both sides of my family immigrated to this great country and it was an honor to serve. Serve a country that offered them so much. I remember growing up proud of my grand father and his action in WW11. Others served in Korea and during Vietnam. Some during peace time but all served. I did not do it for anyone but out of patriotism. I believed that the all volunteer system would fail when I was young. Due to the lack of patriots. I was wrong, obviously. After 12 years of war there has not been a shortage of men volunteering, to my knowledge. When someone thanks me I sorta have this question in my head of why they didn't serve. Are they just a USER, one out for themselves, It's all about me person or are they truly greatfull that someone did a job that they benefitted from. The pledge and the national anthem mean something to me. If you are one of the ass hats still trying to get to your seat or worried about getting a coke when they play them you better not be close to me. I don't care how big you are or think you are. You will hear from me.
 
Replies to "Thank you for your service."

There are many ways to serve your country. It's not limited to military service. And neither is the genuine appreciation or the genuine thanks. But there are better methods to give thanks than repeating a nondescript and over-used phrase.
 
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Would somebody in Michigan please stage a slip and fall at Walmart so Graham can make a little more productive use of his spare time??? :)
 
I don't mind the platitude any more than, say, "Sorry for your loss...".

When I use the expression, I mean it sincerely, and I give those who render it to me the benefit of the doubt.

We are, after all, talking about a compliment. Growing up, I was taught to be grateful for compliments. Coming home, about the only compliment I received was some sort of taunt, and/or getting spit on, in my uniform. In some ways, getting misused for doing the right thing is very little removed from our own currently being harassed for exercising our Second Amendment Rights. In large part, it's even being done by mostly the very same people.

After marching across the Brooklyn Bridge with thousands of my comrades, the expression began appearing spontaneously. It brought a sense of relief and acceptance that I had not felt before. It may have been instrumental in helping me cope with my PTSD, which was pretty rampant at the time.

The phrase has become hackneyed over time, and some have taken to uttering it simply as a reflex, rather than as a conscious thought; sorta like Gesundheidt. Either way it pleases this recipient that someone noticed and was polite about it. If it makes them feel better, what of it? I always respond in kind. I do it because I was raised to be polite when not doing so earned one a swift swat.

Some time back I began to think this was getting old and considered removing the service cap from my attire. But continued thought led me to leave these things alone. There was no good reason to do it, IMHO.

I also considered uttering some of the wisecracks I see here. After some thought, I took that as me being rude, insulting, and ungracious.

A single simple compliment to an entire class of people that is rudely/crudely rebuffed can have significant effects, ripple effects, among all witnesses. It can reverse, in an instant, the long process Vets like myself had gone through leading up to our long overdue final acceptance as positive and deserving members of this society.

So if it costs individuals here too much to be polite in the midst of a compliment, I recognize and accept that they are exercising rights that we all strive to support. I just think that their form of exercise could be somewhat opposed to the way I had hoped those rights would be exercised. Good thing their exercise doesn't need conform to my way of thinking. A right is a right, and when we begin splitting hairs about how one exercises those rights, we are defeating our own purpose.

Greg
 
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It is pretty insulting to reject showing appreciation to someone who has served.
I find it hard to believe this philosophy is even being discussed here.
Terrible attitude to have, disgusting.
Let's go back to shitting on our vets like Vietnam.:mad:
 
Replies to "Thank you for your service."

It is pretty insulting to reject showing appreciation to someone who has served.
I find it hard to believe this philosophy is even being discussed here...
Who is rejecting showing appreciation?

I didn't see any of that on this Thread.

Although I admit that "Show me instead of tell me" is another possible answer to "Thank you for your service".
 
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what about when a kid says it?

My daughter was on a school field trip to D.C. recently. One of the stops was Arlington. When they arrived at the Tomb of the Unknowns there were some older WWII vets there. As she thanked one lady, in a wheelchair, for her service the lady rose from her wheelchair, hugged my daughter, and said " we did it for you, now you must keep the country safe for others". I might have had a hard time believing it went down exactly that way but I saw it on tape. Still brings a tear to my eye.
 
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to be clear. thanks is appreciated, forced thanks is not. When you say "god bless you" when someone sneezes that isnt the same as going to church and really asking god to bless them. its meaningless. just something you say becuase its socially expected. Of course everyone is happy that we are on the minds of those who didnt serve and getting spit on and shit that happened during vietnam. Horribe actions made by small minded people too high to realize what it is they did. But when its all said and done your self worth shouldnt be determined by some fucking scraggly hippie. If you really shot babies and raped/murdered your way though vietnam...... Well then Fuck you, you deserve it. If you were outstanding and served honorably then who cares what that idiot says. Hopefully he got drafted later and took a round in some far away place.

on another note...maybe its regional or family related. at no point that i can remember were vets of any war ignored. especailly the ww2 vets. I cant go a week withouth the local paper (atlanta) having an article about how another person having served in ww2 has passed away. Or seeing the guys out waving flags at every holiday wearing all the garb.. Im not saying im not glad they think of them, just that to say they have been ignored is insanity. At the risk of being contraversial... Maybe the reason we dont hear about them as much is because damn near everyone served in ww2. Not burning draft cards and running for president. And the ones who served didnt make movies about thier feelings and form support groups about it. they fucking went to the local lodge and got drunk. the way real men deal with PTSD (thats humor before you freak out)...Since pretty much everyone served it was like one vet thanking another, its ok but i dont feel the need for mutual dick stroking becuase we both had a shitty few years lol. no need to do that.
 
I am old and a vet of RVN, my time is running out.
When this is said to me a quick glance goes through my feeble mind, Bless my heart, and a small salute and thank you may be rendered as I move on my way.
I live in a rural area and most of my neighbors know of my service so to hear it from them is appreciated and I thank them, and move on my way.
On the occasion that is put to me by someone age appropriate, like someone my age I answer with,"Thank you, I could have used that 45 years ago." and go on my way.
If it comes from a child I just say thank you, your parents are raising you well.
If it comes from another Vet, from any war, all bets are off and we usually end up in conversation and a few coolie loolies are in order.
Then I start sorting out the shit and figuring out if they are real. It only takes one coolie to do that and if they are good, all is well.
If on the other hand if they are B/S artists, they quickly learn where the FOUL in my name comes from.
To all the Vets that have been in harms way, Welcome Home
With age and experience is doesn't take long to figure it out. Regards, FM
 
Let's assume the best in people is what I would say. I do take time to occasionally speak to a veteran wearing a hat or something and encourage them. (I am a history buff so I guess I have an ulterior motive too). I had the privilege of serving in the military for 6 years during peacetime. People want to think that what they did and in many cases suffered for made a difference, especially as they age. Being recognized for something you did probably helps with that.
 
Another way to look at this is simply asking yourself, "Is the way I'm being treated, by receiving disingenuous thanks, causing me to completely withdraw from society?" If the answer is no, then count your blessings.

I can't help but think there are just some people who will complain about anything, no matter how good they have it. A disingenuous thank you is still worlds better than a genuine 'murderer' or 'baby killer'.

To those now out of the service, if you don't want recognition, don't advertise. Pretty simple solution.

Finally, when someone gives you one of these disingenuous thank you's, what do you think is their intention? Do you think they are trying to hurt or help you? My money is on help.
 
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I should prob start thanking every Pvt and O-1 I see cause I gave them absolute hell and I'm sure it's still the same now. I know when I was a pvt I got shit on allot but they also took good care of me and showed me the way. If you find someone to help you navigate the mil B.S. you have a leg up on everything. A big thanks to this E-4 and up guys that helped me just because I could take a joke. Same guys that helped me prep for PLDC and BNOC. Dam box of grid squares, chem light batteries, prick E-8, 5 ft of flight line, K-9 P, the list goes on. I hate civi life somedays. Thanks to all the dirt lickers that walked through the suck!!!!
 
I read this last night and was going to post but reconsidered. Another change of heart this morning. I'll try to do this in a coherent manner.

I am VN era and was in country '68, '69 and '70. After DEROSing I spent my remaining time as an instructor before separation. I never experienced any abuse from anyone during travel in uniform or at any other time. There was the occasional glaring look of disdain but when that look of disdain was returned with a look of malevolence they chose to avert their eyes. What service got me at that time was an attitude of public ambivalence. There was no Dec. 7th, June 6th, Battle of the Bulge, Ardennes Forest, Chosin Reservoir etc. in the public's lexicon for VN. Movies about the war did nothing to engender respect for it's veterans. The Au Shau, Hue, Khe Sanh were banished from memory until the last few years. The war was not discussed with family, friends or even other vets. There was no public approbation and certainly no adulation. VN vets simply moved on and the war was more or less a hole in their memory. A lapse in the timeline of their life's resume. Getting out in '70 it was the year after the My Lai revelations, the year before the "Winter Soldiers" and the acronym PTSD was coined in the early to mid '70s. It was not a period when veterans or their service was held in high regard.

Something changed in the '80s. The public's and even the government's views morphed and I believe they both decided that the VN vets had not gotten a fair shake. I also believe that there was a level of embarrassment engendered by their earlier lack of recognition. This led to vastly improved educational benefits for our current vets. If you think the VA has problems today you would not believe the '80s. The pendulum has swung, when you are thanked for your service accept it graciously. It is not only for you but also for us and every one in the long line before us.
 
As we're sitting right on top of the 70th anniversary of DDay, I'd like to share a few more pics from my dad's Photo Recon Squadron from WW2, these in particular from Omaha Beach on DDay. Not the best pics, but they're the real deal. And in doing so, would like to express my appreciation for those whose feet got wet that day, and to any other soldier who has ever landed on a beach, anywhere, anytime. Hope that's not misinterpretted in any manner, because it's as sincere as I know how.
 

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I have many friends and family that have served, currently serve or did not come home. I can understand some of the posts regarding people who seem to just say it because they think they should. As for me, I will thank every veteran I see, buy a lunch, or offer assistance in any way I can.
 
The only people I owe my loyalty to are those who never made me question theirs.
 
Replies to "Thank you for your service."

If someone thanks me for my service, I thank them for taking the time to say thank you, then keep on about my business.
Do they thank you for thanking them for thanking you??
 
Someone said it to me the other day, and my newest reply slipped-out without even thinking. I said:

"No, thank YOU for breathing air."

I guess I am getting sick of yet another cliche that we've adopted to make our collective selves feel better, the modern equivalent of "Have a nice day" with about as much real meaning attached.

... Just sayin' that if you're not a Vietnam vet the phrase is probably getting a bit old.

I suggest that we manufacture a new saying, for use when military or government service comes up in conversation. Something like: "Welcome back to reality."

Arriving late to this thread... but I've been wondering for several years "how long before 'thank you for your service' becomes basically meaningless and simply an empty phrase?"

I've avoided using the line for a long time, for exactly this reason. I hear it on the news and simply 'dropped' by people for no reason other than it sounds like the thing to say. I just don't think most people really understand what they are saying 'thanks' for. I got it a lot while in PD uniform after the Boston Marathon Bombing... lots of tourists caught up in the "love your local officer" sentiment. You could tell when it was simply the trendy thing to say. For those who wore the uniform of our country, I can totally see how it has become, for lack of a better phrase, annoying.

That said, no one in a uniform ever pays for a cup of coffee if I'm in line at the local gas station... which serves the best coffee in town. And that includes fellow-officers who are on duty when I'm not.... It doesn't come with any statement or thanks. I just quietly tell the cashier to "put his/her coffee on my tab." The only sentiment attached is "It's the least I can do." Sometimes they know who paid, sometimes they don't. That's not the point.

Great thread, Graham! Glad you are getting people talking about something I've been wondering about for some time.

Cheers,

Sirhr
 
This thread makes at best a banal point. So insincerity annoys you? Guess what...

Are we to go around armed with coffee and luncheon vouchers so that our uttered thanks can take meaning? Is your 'insincere radar' so fool proof that you are never wrong and your rebukes are never sent to someone who meant what they said?

As others have said, it's a huge and positive step that people now acknowledge the need to say thanks. Getting prissy because it didn't come with some variety, a coffee or some other gift is just being an asshole and an entitled one at that.

No I haven't served, I'm sure I can't possibly understand but anyway, thank you all for your service to this country, I hope in future it's put to the best use possible by people who understand what it means to send their fellow countrymen to war.
 
Replies to "Thank you for your service."

Getting prissy because it didn't come with some variety, a coffee or some other gift is just being an asshole and an entitled one at that.
I've been following this Thread and I don't remember anyone asking for or expecting a gift or a variety pack.
 
If it is such a hardship for you to hear, I guess I won't be saying it to anyone in the future.
 
Event Horizon:

It's not that such statements feel like insincerity... but that they seem to come simply as a reflex action... because it's trendy and, at least in polite society, expected.

That said, I totally agree with your sentiment. It's better to have that kind of positive reflex action from folks than a reflex that is repellent or nasty or hateful.

I think the whole point of Graham's thread and some of the reactions to it is that something that folks consider a 'worthy' gesture... saying "Thank you for your service" has become harried and less meaningful than it was, say, in 2001.

Great thoughts... and I think it encapsulates some of the complexity of how we recognize our heroes and express our gratitude without making it sound like we are just mouthing meaningless sayings...

Cheers,

Sirhr
 
Event Horizon:

It's not that such statements feel like insincerity... but that they seem to come simply as a reflex action... because it's trendy and, at least in polite society, expected.

That said, I totally agree with your sentiment. It's better to have that kind of positive reflex action from folks than a reflex that is repellent or nasty or hateful.

I think the whole point of Graham's thread and some of the reactions to it is that something that folks consider a 'worthy' gesture... saying "Thank you for your service" has become harried and less meaningful than it was, say, in 2001.

Great thoughts... and I think it encapsulates some of the complexity of how we recognize our heroes and express our gratitude without making it sound like we are just mouthing meaningless sayings...

Cheers,

Sirhr

Thanks Sirhr (sincerely!),

I understand the point but to be fair much has been made of the importance of context so.... we've been at war for the lonest continuous period in our history (I believe), so if there are a lot of 'thank you's' going around it might be because the armed forces and their services are as high in the public conscious as they've ever been. This make, for people who are grateful, for a very target rich environment in which to give thanks. I guess along with bullets, crotch rot and sand, 'thank you' comes with the territory...
 
Replies to "Thank you for your service."

Point of technicality (and for those like me who remember it): The Cold War lasted longer.
 
This thread is pretty ridiculous.

I've been in for 13 years and have been thanked a bunch of times. Generally I'll say "Thanks for paying my salary" because I think it's funny. I don't expect them to get down and suck my D because I CHOSE to join the military.

I, like many others have sacrificed to be in this profession, but I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be - So when someone thanks me I smile and give the above reply, and I feel slightly uncomfortable because I know that I'm not the one that deserves thanks - it's my 2 very close friends who are now dead.

Nobody owes me shit.
 
Replies to "Thank you for your service."

So we should be thanking men sitting on park benches in anoraks and dark glasses.... :) I'll leave that to you...
We are already well on our way to thanking everyone.

And it may one day come to that, if we stop thinking about how and why we do what we do.

No worries: A few of them might even be former spies; but most of them are just homeless.
 
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We are already on our way to that very thing: It may one day come to that if we stop thinking about how and why we do what we do as citizens.

well, in that case, the trick will be knowing who to thank and who to condemn and how to do so without doublebaddeath being ones fate.

addendum: I completely missed your point on that one. I don't say 'thanks for your service' as I just don't feel right about it for some reason. I travel a lot, if there's a uniformed guy waiting for the same plane and I have a business class seat I offer him/her mine. None have ever accepted (not sure even if it's FAA allowed but whatever). I give to veteran charities - especially Fisher House Foundation.
 
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I can tell you, the cold war is not over and never will be over, until one of the two no longer exist. Ray-Gun just slowed them down while setting us up to fail at a later date.
The long standing issues between this country an Russia run deep. For those of you that think it started late WW II you need to go back much, much,... farther.
 
Replies to "Thank you for your service."

well, in that case, the trick will be knowing who to thank and who to condemn and how to do so without doublebaddeath being ones fate.
The government is even giving out Cold War certificates and medals now... As if the old guys are jealous because the new kids get a ribbon every time they visit a foreign country.
 
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I guess people say it because it is something they feel they have to say and there is a word 'out there' to express it.
I think it is awkward for most folks because they mean well but they do not know what else to say.
It is like in other formal situations where there are no really words to describe what you have to say but you feel you have to say something.
Funerals and wakes are a good example of that. Sorry for your loss, I am so sorry, my commiserations, etc... people are thinking what can I say but they have to say something.
I guess I stopped worrying about these type of things. People they need to say what they feel and that's it. no big deal.
In the end is the intention what it counts and not the words. This is better appreciated in person.
In the online chaos sometimes who knows who is saying what and for what reason.
 
A flip side to this whole thing is a Chicago cop who used to hang out with us in the <./airline>maintenance break room. Chicago but assigned to the airport.
One day we're talking and he asks about my military service. I tell him, without any frills, because there weren't any, and he says thank you for your service. At which point I thanked him for his.
He back-peddles and says what he does needs no thanks he gets paid for what he does. I said I got paid for what I did then too. Being military has never been about volunteering your services for nothing. In any case I went on to point out the things he's done to better our society. He helped deliver a kid in a car (gate agent that didn't go on pregnancy leave when she should have), suited up for riots, arrested an armed murderer (by chance, not intent), and the list goes on.
I told him, by knowing him and how he is, he was a good guy by any standards. He wasn't pro gun, but heard me out when I explained about my pro gun stance. Pointing out I don't want to see him or any other LE in harms way because someone thinks they can solve all problems with a gun. The 2A isn't about that and when you have to protect the population in general you do. It'll be clear in a short amount of time when someone is intent on misusing a firearm. And that is fully punishable under the law.
But, he's in that situation walking a fine line. The same said of soldiers walking the fine line they do with the ROE. All the support personnel who really do bust ass and make sure those up front have what they need (in spite of multitudes of complaints that they don't...they do with minimal exceptions).
So, I told him, "Thank you for your service." "It is public service just like I gave."

Oftentimes we get wrapped up in the few who abuse a position. That always seems to come to light. When the system is working correctly, those people will be punished for their abuses. But, the ones who go about their jobs everyday and DON'T abuse their authority really deserve the respect we can give them. Especially, because we know them. I've known several LE's who continue on when even they feel it's a losing fight. It's not losing when they keep trying. Their work can lead to serious changes in the future. But, not if they don't try anymore. It is we who support them and keep them in the fight. The same with any public servant really. Most get dumped on without any regard to what they HAVE accomplished for us.
 
When I say it I mean it.
If it annoys you as a veteran that someone that has never served and never seen combat does have a deep gratitude for what you, your brothers, and everyone in your life that loves you or depends on you has gone through so that I can be a free citizen in this great (highly at risk) nation, then I don't know what to say.
But I'll still say it, because I mean it.
 
I am a Cold War Veteran / Warrior... you mean I can add a medal. :)

Sure I accidentally managed to step on a hot coal, but really, the Cold War, our longest war it deserves a wall, or an Oak Tree, maybe a mighty Redwood on Washington Square. LOL
 
In 1968 when I came back from Nam, I would have been happy to hear a THANKYOU FOR YOUR SERVICE, not what I got that in the real world. So what can I say, give me a break. When did being appreciated go out of style. Any one that's in service has my thanks. Any one who don't like, TUFF. By the way USN on Gun boats Nam 1967-68.
 
Since current veterans' modesty seems to be a touchy subject, here is a Normandy veteran saying what the vast majority of all veterans think:
All these years later, he has become a celebrity of sorts -- as evidenced by a mob of reporters who greeted him after his parachute landing Thursday. Martin says he feels "kind of humbled and embarrassed at the adulation because I don't feel we did anything that we weren't supposed to do or anything exceptional."

He adds: "We just did what we trained to do."

70 years later, D-Day vet Jim 'Pee Wee' Martin jumps again - CNN.com
 
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I will add I'm always courteous and reply back with a "thank you" as well, but nobody needs to thank me for doing what I wanted to my whole life. I don't feel I deserve any gratitude over any teacher, police officer, fire fighter, paramedic, nurse, doctor, scout master or other community volunteers who dedicate their lives to help others deserve. Maybe I'm being rude for not replying "you're welcome", but Ms. Manners can kiss my ass.

I don't loathe those who say it - I'm embarrassed by it. I can physically feel the blush from it and I don't fucking like blushing. It almost makes me feel like a Stolen Valor offender because I feel I don't deserve it, and trust me my career was Honorable through and through with no regrets whatsoever.

My true gratitude goes to those who weren't able to walk off the battlefield, and I visit National Cemeteries every chance I get to pay my respects.