So ran some errands after dinner last night. Blue button down for Graduation Party, 511 and check . Top off gas in truck. Check . Stop for a 12 pack . Holy Mother a Homeless Crackhead ax juggling wackadoo .
I pull into the parking lot and Slotard the bicycle ridin clown is weaving in and out of lot traffic whilst flipping a hatchet in the air . K . I enjoy the show , find a parking spot and get out . Well our fine Crystal Methodist pulls up at Beer Distributor and dismounts hatchet in hand a fallipin . Guy is just hangin, effin with the ax and his bike next to the entrance. If I haven't clearly painted the Bob Ross masterpiece by know leh me
splain it. Mofugga looks not shelf stable , 5'10" and a buck fitty of unwashed Cray Cray .
So keeping Tueller in mind . For y'all non LEO that's , Stupid with a weapon can traverse 21ft and give you a makeover before you can draw . So I digress. I walk past keeping an eye etc . Low and behold Dumbass walks in behind me . In summation. Henry Longfellow Eisten buys a tallboy , goes out , cracks it open and proceeds with the ax show whilst owning the area . No one at this point goes anywhere near . After all the inexplicable evil and violence lately I decided to call 911 .
So I call and get the Queen of the ghetto. She doesn't have any idea of the location , street , cross street or businesses being described . She asked " is he bothering anybody "? Pretty sure I just explained it . So I just said hey , with all the crazy violence going on I figured I should call . Her response was a resounding " ahh muh gahd ", as if I was here toddler waking her up at 2am . How bout save your editorial and send a cop . You know the thing . You get paid for it . Ya know in between surfing your phone and tryna remember to breathe .
Funny if Skippy did go all Paul Bunyon on some suburban housewife local authorities would be bitchin that " no one called about an ax wielding lunatic" .