Check Yourself

[Ronws]

I don't normally post public service announcements. But this is an easy fix.

In the what are you listening to thread, I posted a song from Firehouse. The singer, 64 year old CJ Snare, passed away recently. The lady of his love of a lifetime revealed that he had been struggling with a Stage 4 colon cancer. No doubt, he was always working and wouldn't take the time to get himself checked. Seriously, Firehouse is always working and will play anywhere at anytime.

Colon cancer is the most easily detectable and preventable of the cancers. Because of my age, (I just turned 60) my doctor had me do a colonoscopy for a colon cancer study he was doing and my age made me a profile fit. And it was covered by my insurance. First, I did the cologuard, shipping shit through the mail. Then the procedure. They found 4 polyps, all benign and removed them.

When I had woken up in my day room, the doctor brought me water and coffee and asked me if I had any questions.

I asked, "Did you find Jimmy Hoffa?"

Without batting an eye or even a snicker, he said, "No, we did not."

Guys, get yourself checked. It does not have to end like this.

And get with your doctor about having your PSA tested. Prostate cancer no longer relies on the finger test. Why check? My wife's favorite singer, Dan Fogelberg, passed away in his 50s from prostate cancer. Again, always working, not getting himself checked.

 

[Redlion]

I will second the recommendation. Get one starting at age 50 or sooner if you have a family history of colon cancer.

 

[wvfarrier]

I got mine a few months ago....prep was not fun but beats dying of colon cancer

 

[Mr. Z]

Befo you wreck yoself.

Slow pitch

 

[Herb Stoner]

If you drink alcohol regularly you have a higher risk as well. Research continues but it’s looking like a major factor along the lines of the old smoking causes lung cancer thing - not always, but…

Had a couple friends check out early now (50s) from colon cancer - both drank daily and, at times, a little too much.

Not judging - I make the stuff for a living.

 

[diggler1833]

I woke up from my colonoscopy a few months ago in the recovery room. There was my wife and a male nurse.

I sat up and asked what the doctor found, and the nurse told me "basically nothing", and added that the doctor didn't make any findings or remarks. I asked him where she was, and he informed me that she had gone on to the next patient.

"She went from one asshole to the next huh?" Was my response, which (I) immediately found funny...however both the nurse and my wife didn't seem phased by my amazing sense of humor.

0 out of 5 stars... Blasting water out of my ass for 6 hours was the least fun thing I can remember doing over the past decade.

Lost a good friend a couple weeks ago to a massive heart attack at the age of 50. Surprisingly, that is the third friend that I've had die at/under the age of 50 since we all retired.

 

[Arc Light]

I would be cautious with getting a colonoscopy, especially if you are not in a high risk category. As always, doctors like to encourage these medical tests without adequately discussing potential risks. With a colonoscopy, internal bleeding and perforated intestine are more common than you would think. People have died as a result. In our profit motivated medical care system, a large percentage of these tests are unnecessary and not worth the risk. In the case of colonoscopy, the stats I've seen indicate 25%-30% of these tests are unnecessary.

Speaking for myself, I would consider one of the non-invasive options since I am not in a high risk category. But for me, a colonoscopy is not worth the risks.

 

[powdahound76]

A dear friend to many of us, @Foul Mike had colon Cancer.

he left us for a much better place on March 2, 2024.

i have had 2 of the scopes.
Preps are better now than 25 yrs ago.
My last one in Jan of this year was easy peasy prep (except the 20 min ride to the hospital the morning of, was worried I might not be able to hold it).
Perhaps my doc has a better prep regimen than others?




Whats the percentage of those getting a routine screening who perf and what percentage of those perfs die?
WAY less than the number who die from Colon Cancer annually, by a huge margin.

 

[Darryle]

I had colon cancer twice, early detection help beat it, just don't trust the cologuard test as 100%, a false negative and two false positives, good old fashioned bore scope is the truest test.

 

[Redlion]

A dear friend to many of us, @Foul Mike had colon Cancer.

he left us for a much better place on March 2, 2024.

i have had 2 of the scopes.
Preps are better now than 25 yrs ago.
My last one in Jan of this year was easy peasy prep (except the 20 min ride to the hospital the morning of, was worried I might not be able to hold it).
Perhaps my doc has a better prep regimen than others?




Whats the percentage of those getting a routine screening who perf and what percentage of those perfs die?
WAY less than the number who die from Colon Cancer annually, by a huge margin.

This and how are you supposed to know if you are among that "25-30% of these tests are unnecessary?"

 

[Atomic_Lobster]

My Doctor gave me a 10 year or 100,000 mile warranty after my first colonoscopy
Now it's seven years or 70,000 miles

 

[Stevo86]

Had my first this last year (I’m 37) bad family history of colon cancer. Funny thing was when they wheeled me back there he said ah yes…. This is the guy we r doing the sex change operation on… then the lights went out…

 

[375fan]

My wife's stepfather died of cancer, started in the colon. If he'd had a colonoscopy at 50 as recommended the odds are he'd still be with us. between that and my family's history of colon issues and cancer my wife was all over me to get one. Got my first one at 50, excellent results/news, Dr. said see you in 10 years. My wife was shocked he said that with the family history. Got my 2nd one 10 years later , more good news. The prep is and aggravation but in the bigger picture it's nothing.

 

[powdahound76]

This and how are you supposed to know if you are among that "25-30% of these tests are unnecessary?"

Thats one quoted number.
Based on the rest of his reply, I can tell you there is a definitive “anti” bias and those arent numbers I would put stock in. More like some made up numbers like NYT uses to get people to buy into what they are saying


Pretty sure They say screen at 50 unless high risk.
I am.
First at 19. Last one was earlier this year at 43. Still good.
If you eat a basic American diet you are at risk. Our food is crap.
Ask your doc if you are at risk.
See about the clear liquids for a day and the pill camera. No scope. Maybe thats an option. Ya just crap it out.
Thats what my MIL does. She gets super sick with the prep and ends up in the ER with a migraine.

 

[Jscb1b]

This thread is a pain in the ass. I did the clear liquid diet and nasty flush stuff. I'm the last patient of the day. The machine has not been working right. Everyone is pissed. I'm lying there with my ass out. The dude with the knockout juice is just getting started when the dr. JAMMS the camera up my ass. I start cussing then wake up in the recovery room. I will die of ass cancer before I get another one. I go to church with the nurse in the recovery room. She was shocked by my language.

 

[n2ishun]

Check Yourself​

*reaches down and fondles self....

Yep, positive.
Knew that.
Move along.

 

[Ronws]

I woke up from my colonoscopy a few months ago in the recovery room. There was my wife and a male nurse.

I sat up and asked what the doctor found, and the nurse told me "basically nothing", and added that the doctor didn't make any findings or remarks. I asked him where she was, and he informed me that she had gone on to the next patient.

"She went from one asshole to the next huh?" Was my response, which (I) immediately found funny...however both the nurse and my wife didn't seem phased by my amazing sense of humor.

0 out of 5 stars... Blasting water out of my ass for 6 hours was the least fun thing I can remember doing over the past decade.

Lost a good friend a couple weeks ago to a massive heart attack at the age of 50. Surprisingly, that is the third friend that I've had die at/under the age of 50 since we all retired.

I had other one-liners that I did not use. I was going to ask them to let me know when it is in. I have worked in construction for so long, I can't feel it anymore.

Anyway, so probably the reason they are somber and focused is because it is their job to look at angry, red assholes.

 

[Atomic_Lobster]

Just checked
No skid marks today

 

[Marinevet1]

I have a problem with waking up with a greasy ass hole.............

 

[Ronws]

I have a problem with waking up with a greasy ass hole.............

How is that different from any other day?


I had the right to remain silent but I did not have the ability.

 

[Expert684]

Did my first a month ago, been putting it off for 10 years.
Go! Go! Go!
Prep sucked, procedure was nothing.

 

[Fig]

The other thing to mention is that if you do have some polyps they remove them during the scope. I waited till 50 and had a couple of polyps they removed. Doc said it was normal and he'd see me in five years. I guess I didn't think about it, but I thought it was just a scope and a look. I didn't realize they'd be ready to take care of anything they find... Obviously not full blown colon cancer, but they'll remove anything suspect or precancerous, so there is some piece of mind there too.

 

[GrayRyder]

Colonoscopies are great. The oxygen is great and then they give you these nice drugs that really calm you down then they put these nice warm blankies on you.

I remember the last time somebody made a post about colonoscopies. The thread quickly went from colonoscopies to how great the drugs are that they give you.

 

[Ronws]

I should have added that yes, it is SOP to remove any polyps during the exam. Most times, they are benign. And you will grow some more, so another one could be in your future.

I had sedation. I lay there few a minutes and the guy asked me if I was drowsy. Yes, a little drowsy. Next memory, I was waking up in the day room with a dozen roses and a lovely card.

JK

You have to have someone accompany you there and out. So, my old high school friend, David, was there. I told him that going in, we would have to hold hands and sing "You're the One that I Want" from the movie "Grease." I am a high tenor, so I would take the part of Sandy performed by Olivia Newton-John.

But we didn't do that. Just walked and then I got to my room and changed into the sexy gown that they in hospitals.

 

[Soulezoo]

I was sitting, waiting for my turn after the IV was inserted and asked the nurses what they thought about all day... "whoops, here comes another asshole..." Good thing I said that after the needle was in. One nurse dribbled and had to excuse herself.

 

[The D]

This thread is a pain in the ass.

 

[The D]

Had my first this last year (I’m 37) bad family history of colon cancer. Funny thing was when they wheeled me back there he said ah yes…. This is the guy we r doing the sex change operation on… then the lights went out…

Pics of sex change operation? Asking for @Dirty D

 

[Ronws]

Pics of sex change operation? Asking for @Dirty D

I snickered out loud.

Damn you! Damn you to Hell!

 

[The D]

I snickered out loud.

Damn you! Damn you to Hell!

 

[ironpony52]

Well I did not do it myself but I did have a Dr. check and everything was good.

 

[Dirty D]

Pics of sex change operation? Asking for @Dirty D

Fact hunt, I told you I wanted pictures of a fact hunt!

 

[Dirty D]

I snickered out loud.

Damn you! Damn you to Hell!

“Throws closet door wiiide open!”

 

[ironman56]

I've had two 7 years apart ,the VA did both the 1st one at Audie Murphy hospital in SA , they were all business, no joking around, the 2nd was at the Kerrville clinic, those guys were a bunch of comedians ,had me in stitches before and after , as others have said the preparation is the worst part of the procedure, shitting your guts out for a day and a half is a pain.i told the guys at Kerrville that they couldn't drive a needle up my ass with a sledgehammer, I was wrong.

 

[armorpl8chikn]

They got mine 2 weeks before I retired in 2020, at 51. Docs had been pestering me for couple years.
They were pretty sure I have a duodenal ulcer as well and a Hitler hernia. So they were gonna to an endoscopy and colonoscopy at the same time. So...you know what my one liner was.
"Dont get the scopes mixed up halfway through doc." They thought it was hilarious...I think. They asked me what kind of music I liked, I told them bluegrass. I was about to complain "Enter Sandman" is not bluegrass when the lights went out.
They said I have a very fine butthole all the way to my appendix. They gave me a reprieve for a whole decade.
They werent so lucky on the endoscope. They still suspect i have a duodenal ulcer, and confirmed i have a Hitler hernia.
Back when they damn near killed me with metformin, they said I needed a cardiologist. (Yeah thanks to you assholes)
After about 8 months of putting them off i got a heart doctor and got all the tests.
I know yall heard this but just like Pop Gustavsson "I like this story".
Long and short is, they dont know shit.
Eat eggs and bacon and leave the sugar and taters and grain the hell alone.
Got a heart like a racehorse.

 

[DuneBoer]

I had one. No big deal. My wife was nice to me for an entire day. They found a polyp and cut it out. I always wanted to get a bunch of friends who had polyps removed together and have a polyp fry. Have a few beers get a little crazy you know.

Here is my polyp.

You guys have all seen what is up my ass. Dirty fuckers!

 

[The D]

Fact hunt, I told you I wanted pictures of a fact hunt!

Oh… whoops.

 

[Dirty D]

You guys have all seen what is up my ass. Dirty fuckers!

This is attention whoring on a whole new level!

 

[DuneBoer]

This is attention whoring on a whole new level!

At least I didn't post a picture of me bare chested with a little harness. What was that glo fags name?

Oh and first comment signifies a Freudian interest...

 

[Dirty D]

At least I didn't post a picture of me bare chested with a little harness. What was that glo fags name?

Oh and first comment signifies a Freudian interest...

“Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar” this is not one of those times.

 

[Ronws]

@armorpl8chikn I have heard of a hiatal hernia but I have not heard of a Hitler hernia. Is it the kind of strain from saying "Ausgezeichnet!" too loud?

@DuneBoer I am glad I did not upload my pics. Mine are cleaner than yours and I would hate to seem like I am bragging.

 

[xxflyingturtlexx]

Alright boys; so last month i get an annual, give blood etc.. those results came back with an only “you are flirting with cholesterol warning”, like last 5 years.

Fast fwd….

A week later this effing box shown up the door step. I knew what it was since my wife (49 turning 50) took one last year. I debated on it because a lot of false positives on the internet. Just turned 47. So i said what the hell. I had a mild hemorrhoids 2-3 months back. No issue with going out, no bleeding; no history of colon / colorectal cancer in the family 3 generations. I called my GP. I said i did not ask for this. She told me now they check people at 45+.

Mind you, the second the cologuard box dropped in the porch i started getting emails and text messages to follow the protocol and send it. I read about it a bit more then got busy a couple more days forgot about it bit nooooo now the calls started. I finally got really worked up and sent it in. Sure shit, 7:30 this morning i get an email “your results is ready”. I had a bad feeling and sure enough it is positive.

I am getting a referral from my GP to a family GI who is a also professor at UT. I called him up; he sounded not concerned and said i will get you in monday/tuesday.

I have pretty good health; no drinking no smoking, very active. It freaked me out. Everyone tells me not to worry but i do like a pussy. Not to mention my 70 y/o Mom battled breat cancer last year and got put on remission last week.

Anyways wanted to pitch in where i am at.

The period from the cologuard result to scoping will probably drive me crazy!

 

[JoshPutman]

I had my first scope in 1998 after a bad car wreck. Lots of internal injuries resulting in getting replumbed.

Anyway, I'm still in the hospital, and having issues. Doc says I have to have a colonoscopy, and if they get certain results they will have to run the scope down my throat.

Without missing a beat, I looked at him square in the eye and deadpanned "you ARE gonna wash it first, right?"

I thought the doc and his nurse were both gonna piss themselves.

I was awake for the rectal tour. It was actually kind of interesting watching the screen and seeing what I look like on the inside.

Doc clears me, so no need to get the Linda Lovelace treatment (how many of you will get THAT reference? You old fuckers will ).

Now the best part, I'm in the recovery room with none other than my mom and my grandmother.

Do you know that when they pump you full of air during the procedure it has to come back out? Huh.

Anyway, we are chatting, when all of a sudden, you guessed it, the fog horn blows, and blows, and blows some more. I swear it lasted like five minutes straight. We were all laughing so hard.

It was truly a touching moment. I guess you had to be there.

 

[Bullfrog08]

I'm not sure why I am still amazed at the things people will post online. I think the first post was enough.

I guess if we have a turd analysis thread why wouldn't we have people post pictures of their colon. Nothing better than stories about scopes up people's asses!

 

[Ronws]

I'm not sure why I am still amazed at the things people will post online. I think the first post was enough.

I guess if we have a turd analysis thread why wouldn't we have people post pictures of their colon. Nothing better than stories about scopes up people's asses!

Neat idea but I already spend enough time with my head up my own ass.

 

[Pbgt]

Not sure if this counts, every new rifle scope I buy...I crap in the box and leave it for the porch pirates...

 

[Fx51LP308]

I found a new G.I. in 2024, once I GTFO'ed the PRNJ. I was way overdue (more than 10 years). The original G.I. in the PRNJ found two benign polyps and removed them. Once I got to FL and on Medicare, I found my new GI. He found 3 benign polyps and removed them. Not so bad for a 10+ year interval. He wants me back every two years. Well, if Medicare approves it, I'll be back every two years. If they say I have to wait until five years, then I'll have to wait.

But yes, it may be a PITA for a couple of days, but the reward is well worth it. Go as often as your medical plan will permit it.

 

[remaction]

I'll be 65 next month. Due to health insurance when I was working, I've had PSA screening yearly for the past 15 years or so, and continue to have it checked now that I'm retired.

It amazes me that many of the men my age that I talk to have NEVER had their PSA checked. I can't believe in this day age that their doctors do not include this as part of the yearly wellness check.

Colonoscopy every 5 years for me (again next year) due to my mother had colon cancer.

 

[Fig]

I have issued standing orders to all friends and family that if I ever start droning on about my health and ailments unprompted they are to immediately shoot me in the back of the head at close range without delay or fanfare.

Tell me about your kids and grandchildren. How they are doing?

Repent, for the end is near. Sorry if you're dying a little faster than me...

 

[Ronws]

I found a new G.I. in 2024, once I GTFO'ed the PRNJ. I was way overdue (more than 10 years). The original G.I. in the PRNJ found two benign polyps and removed them. Once I got to FL and on Medicare, I found my new GI. He found 3 benign polyps and removed them. Not so bad for a 10+ year interval. He wants me back every two years. Well, if Medicare approves it, I'll be back every two years. If they say I have to wait until five years, then I'll have to wait.

But yes, it may be a PITA for a couple of days, but the reward is well worth it. Go as often as your medical plan will permit it.

Thanks to sedation, you don't have to feel pain. The worst part is the prep because you are stuck on the porcelain throne for so long and singing a version of the Johnny Cash song.

"I sat on a burning ring of fire.
I sat down, down, down and the flames went higher.
And it burns, burns, burns,
This ring of fire.
This ring of fire."

 

[Fx51LP308]

Thanks to sedation, you don't have to feel pain. The worst part is the prep because you are stuck on the porcelain throne for so long and singing a version of the Johnny Cash song.

"I sat on a burning ring of fire.
I sat down, down, down and the flames went higher.
And it burns, burns, burns,
This ring of fire.
This ring of fire."

Precisely. The "PITA" is the prep, not the procedure itself (unless, of course, you have "issues" with your GI and staff looking up your bunghole... ). And yes, my GI uses Propofol for the Anesthetic. As long as it's titrated properly, it works well. Trust me, you won't need "More Milk," if they do it right.

I remember feeling it when the Propofol started (you can feel a very, very slight impulse, electrically when it starts). I reached for my watch to see the time, and the nurse re-positioned my watch so I could see it directly. When I regained consciousness, I checked my watch again.

Took only 20 minutes.