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Im an asshole, rip me to shreds.

There's your problem, right there. Unless you're a kiddie fiddler or some such, there's no reason to assume you don't deserve compassion or at the very least, understanding and commiseration. We are, typically, our own worst critics and enemies. Take some time and figure out why you think you don't deserve this. If it's because of what you've been told you're worth by others, forget them, so many people, even or especially family, will shit on anyone if only to make themselves feel better for being able to.

Fix your self-respect. When you have that in check, the rest will follow.

Also, watch some Jordan Peterson vids and Jocko podcasts. Structre, discipline and goals go a long way to fixing things that beer, broads and (I can't think of a third 'b' for alliteration) and other shit will only worsen.
No worries, i spent my whiskey money on a thermal scope this month. No drunk posts for me this month, only late nights. Shot a huge skunk last night first night owning it. Totally like cheating, but its awesome.
 
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I started watching this thread and looks like it might have moved on from the subject of tinnitus. Anyway, I don't think what @Texasflyer was experiencing was unusual.

I have tinnitus really, really bad. My father was an artilleryman during WWII. He had hearing loss but his ears never rang. I don't understand it. I was around jet engines a lot but always wore hearing protection which was never good enough and lost some hearing and got non-stop 24/7 ringing in both ears.

Anyway, I don't drink and all my friends tell me that nothing, absolutely nothing upsets me. Again, nothing will upset me. I'm the paragon of patience and the epitome of the long-suffering-servant. If you believe that, I have some used small rifle primers to sell you, and I'll even cover the shipping.

I don't drink but when I'm in area were people talk loud or there is background music that is a little loud it doesn't take long to get on my nerves. What really sends me into orbit is when someone plays drums on a table. I want to smash their hands with a tire-iron because it gets on my nerves so much.

I never use to be that way but with the constant ringing in my ears I feel like I want to start flipping tables over. The last guy that I read about doing that got nailed to a cross. I don't want to be like him.

Anyway, I ran across this video in which this lady had some interesting things to say about tinnitus. I've dealt with it pretty good for the three decades that I've had it except for being around a lot of people, loud music or assholes playing drums on a table.

Fast forward to about 27:30 and she talks about the condition called hyperacusis. I'm just saying all this because I don't think @Texasflyer is an asshole; unless he plays drums on a table.

 
So apparently im am asshole when i drink, i cant hear real great and tenktis or whatever, it gets loud sometimes in my head.....i just got told to go home by a childhood friend for being too loud... im drunk, and low, and if ya wanna take swing right now it will do the most damage. I cant think of a time when i have been so low..... its like i snuck up and sabotaged myself.
Can you keep it down? Some of us are trying to chill!

And yes, I have tinnitus as well and get a little loud when drunk. It's really hard to howl at the moon quietly though!